Posts #1051-1055: 17 May 2000

Post #1051, by TsuramiSea

17 May must have been a Saturday. There are many more posts on this day than on any other one day for some time before.

TsuramiSea had gone into many of the buildings in the business area, and still had some more to check. Then he had to search the boardwalk and the beach. It wouldn't be easy.

Is he still looking for Lavos? In business buildings? I mean, granted, in corporate headquarters in a major city is an excellent place to look for a being of pure evil. But usually it's not a giant space hedgehog you're looking for specifically.

He already had a headache from getting kicked out of the Scaraba Cultural Museum for entering and screaming, "IS ANYONE HERE FROM SM.NET?!?"

An excellent and amusing point. That would get you kicked out of most respectable museums, I suspect.

However, now he was coming up on another Summers restaurant. He was almost given up, feeling that he'd never find the other SM.Netters, but felt that he had to try.

It sounds like he's trying to latch onto team guruzeth, but then he apparently hasn't been reading their posts, which specified there were only two restaurants in Summers, if you count the Stoic Club as a "restaurant".

Entering the restaurant, he went up to the manager. "Excuse me, sir." The man turned to him. "May I please use your intercom... er... speaker system... whatever exactly, for a moment? I want to try to locate a certain party, but I'm not certain whether or not they're in this restaurant."

The man smirked. "Yes." TsuramiSea beamed. "But it will cost you $30." Tsurami's face contorted, but he handed over the money. What a cheap tourist trap, he thought. He stepped over to the PA.

Being that $30 is the prize of a single small serving of gelato in EarthBound's Summers, I suspect the bribe would be closer to $3,000 than $30.

"Paging all SM.Netters! Paging all SM.Netters! If you are from SM.Net, a fellow site-goer would like to meet you! I'll be at the front of the restaurant! If there are any SM.Netters here, please come! I'd like to meet you!" Then he got away from the speaker. Standing near the front of the restaurant, Tsurami waited for a response...

(Okay, if the gang currently in Summers wants to put up with me, someone come and get me. If not, just ignore me, and I'll assume I was in the wrong restaurant.)

I wonder if the attention-starved brigade really didn't understand how badly they were hampering their own quests for attention. Tsurami demonstrates here how to do it exactly wrong: Demand someone else go out of their way to acknowledge and accept you. Instead of the natural and correct thing, which is walk up to them and join them.

Passivity is the path to being a loser. If you want to win at life, do active things.

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Post #1052, by Chris

After a little while, the food arrived. Though his French wasn't the best, Chris had still managed to take a good guess at what he was ordering, and acquired some kind of chicken. Tracy and guruzeth had both ordered various sandwhiches, and Poo and Juliana had wound up with some exotic looking dish.

Thank you, Chris. That's very uninteresting.

While they ate, they conversed over what they might do after resting at the hotel.

"Okay, essentially, we can do one of two things. We can join everyone else in fighting Lavos, or we can tour Eagleland on our own. Juliana and I have covered a good deal of it, as has Poo, and I think that we could see all sorts of interesting things. What do you all think?" Chris asked.

"I say we explore the island." said Tracy.

"Island." Poo replied.

"Same here." guruzeth added.

"Count me in." Juliana finished.

"Great, then, we'll set out the day after tomorrow."

Chris has no idea how much of a dick he comes across as when he tells other people what their ACs think and allow them no free will to do anything but slavishly follow his awesome leadership. He was doing it way back at The Dance, and he's still doing it now.

After lunch, the group decided to go down to the beach and hang out. They decided to construct a large sand castle. Chris and Poo ran up the street to buy some shovels and buckets, as they intended to build a huge castle. Soon, they had set to work, digging and building the greatest castle Eagleland Island had ever seen...

Does he really think this is exciting? I can see how it was pretty fun the first time he did it, when he and Juliana were enjoying the brilliant dawn of their undying love for one another. (Remember, PSI322 was allowed no choice in this matter.) But now doing the same thing again is... boring. You're boring, Chris.

It would be awesome if I could believe Chris was pointedly ignoring TsuramiSea here, but he's not. This post came only six minutes after TsuramiSea's, and Chris almost certainly did not see it. Granting, when he did see it after the fact, he didn't care.

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Post #1053, by Anthadd

"If I remember correctly, diamond is the hardest, and quite possibly heaviest, non-element on Earth. Therefore, we could logically defeat him by causing him to break apart," Anthadd mused.
"You're kidding, right?"
"Maybe not the heaviest, but a heavy material. And the bigger the diamond is and the higher it is, the greater chance it'll break."

So... your brilliant conclusion is that in order to defeat him, you must: attack him with weapons. Hard. Which is different from what you were already doing... how?

"Grrrr..."
Anthadd, in a regularly unseen show of courage, leapt on Diamond Dog's back and tried to ride him into the sky. Noticing a series of hooked stalactities on the cave ceiling, leading down, Anthadd picked two sturdy golf clubs and held them with him. He leapt up, gripping Diamond Dog's body tightly with his legs, and in a way flew to near the entrance.

OK, let's try to sort through the ridiculosities here.

RIDICULOSITY 1: You really, really don't want to try to leap onto Diamond Dog's back if you ever plan on doing any of the following at any future point in your life: have children; walk in a straight line and/or without pain; urinate; engage in activity that traditionally produces children. I don't know, it's a lot to risk.

RIDICULOSITY 2: Diamond Dog is a bloody dog, it doesn't fly.

RIDICULOSITY 3: You're indoors. You yourself referred in the very next sentence to the ceiling. What sky?

RIDICULOSITY 4: If you tried to grip Diamond Dog's body tightly with your legs, you would no longer have legs. Warrants mentioning.

RIDICULOSITY 5: How the hell do you expect this plan to work if, in fact, Diamond Dog can fly?

Along the way, Diamond Dog had struggled excitedly trying to snap at the rider, bite him, somehow diamondise him, then began to slip, and finally fell from his legs, not breaking apart on the ground below. But a few hairline cracks appeared.

I'm glad they're enjoying themselves. Maybe I shouldn't judge them so harshly; they seem to be having a fine time, and as long as they're not trying to drag anybody else into it, where's the harm, after all?

I guess all of this is a lot more tolerable when there are two people involved, going back and forth. Liyoshi stretched one battle out over a couple hundred posts and it got to really pissing me off. But I'm not sure if his flying solo was the bigger reason why--for sure, he should have been writing fanfiction, not polluting the thread with crap nobody wants to read--or if it's just that Liyoshi himself is annoying.

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Post #1054, by SirMontyG

"A few more times oughta do it.." As Sir attempted to mimic Anthadd's act of valor. He jumped for DD's back, but the dog was waiting this time, and promptly ducked. Sir took a nose dive into the dirt. "Owww.."

As discussed, I find that far preferable to what would happen if you succeeded at that maneuver.

Sir quickly got up and turned around. "I was saving this for Lavos, but I see no reason not to use it now!" Sir pulled an odd looking device from his pack. It was a multi bottle rocket. "Aim for the fractures!" Yelled Anth, and Sir did. *KA swoswoswoswoswoswoooosh!!!*

Finally someone does something that's both in-flavor and smart with their AC God Mode. What a wonder. If you equip a Rabbit's Foot you can drop Diamond Dog (who has more HP than any enemy in EarthBound except Giygas himself) in two Multi-Bottle Rocket shots.

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Post #1055, by EBPoo

"I've never tried surfing before," commented Poo. "Perhaps while I'm here, I should attempt it." Poo ran to find someone with a surfboard. He spotted a surfer dude, so he went over to interrogate. After chatting for a couple minutes, the surfer handed over the surfboard, and Poo ran out to catch the waves. After wiping out several times, Poo ran back to the others. "Anyone want to try out the surfboard?" asked Poo.

Chris, this is what I've been trying to tell you and you aren't learning. All you do when you flagrantly control other people's ACs is annoy them, and when annoyed they will usually do exactly what EBPoo just did--pointedly ignore you and do what they want. Points to EBPoo for not dignifying Chris's behavior by whining about it, too.

Posts #1046-1050: 17 May 2012

Post #1046, by Mog116

(Actually, It wasn't his Idea for Lavos to come. Besides, his AC is Darth. I think that maybe, he shouldn't be makin' such rules)

Ladies and gentlemen, you just read the wisest words Mog116 will ever write on this thread. And it's true, Lavos wasn't originally Tengu's idea. But only because someone got there first. Tengu would have come up with it or something very similar to it on his own, given enough time.

Mog suddenly felt an urge to go to Lavos's place (Why are so many of you gpin' to winters? Lavos is at Saturn Valley.) and fight Lavos's ROBOT form. (Tengu Maul said we couldn't fight Lavos's core, not his robot.) Mog teleported to lavos's crater wherever it is, then went inside.

I would theorize they are going to Winters exactly because that is not where Lavos is. And I presume the 'robot' means Lavos's second form, in the three-round final battle of Chrono Trigger.

(Ton, take my help, okay. I'll help you, okay. As long as you help me fight Lavos)

That's really godawful posting. You're supposed to write your AC into helping his AC, not try to push him around with parenthetical OOC comments.

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Post #1047, by Tengu Maul

I don't disagree on the vacation part of this, our characters also need the vacation, but I want the four to beat Lavos since they beat one invader(Giygas), and they have more experience than all our ACs combined.

You are welcome to your desires. It's just that you're not going to get them, because neither any of the Chosen Four© nor Lavos is your AC. So tell us what you want if you must; just understand that it's completely irrelevant.

Also, I'd like them to have signifiance in this story somewhere, since this is almost just an AC-fest without them.

Yes, it certainly is. You seem to have forgotten that PSI322 made it explicit in Post #1 that it was supposed to be an AC-fest.

But what you have to understand is, this is practically a cut-and-paste of his boilerplate Declaration of Intent to Control that he posted in almost every IF thread.

If you want to return to the vacation you can quit the fight and go back, and let us handle Lavos.

That's exactly what I've been saying for a hundred posts now! You can have Lavos! I don't want him!

Of course, if you're an IF veteran you can spot the problem: if a group of posters breaks off and tries to enjoy itself while ignoring Saving the World, then the Saving the World crowd will, sooner or later, try to invade the Party Crowd's storyline.

About our absence, it's just Mani and I(especially Mani) are very busy to worry about any IFs now a days. It's a little thing called "life", and we can't always shove it aside to be here[in other words I've been really busy].)

I have to wonder exactly what Tengu Man's "life" at this point consisted of. Tengu, the floor is yours.

Over the time, many things had happened, including Paula and Jeff conquering their Magicants. All they needed now was Poo, and they could go after Lavos' Core.

That right there is the entire plot substance of the post. Highly disappointing for a Tengu Man post, I must say.

(Poo, now we need you, or whoever has control on the real Poo to come to our group, and we can get this accomplished.)

I'm laughing because that is so deliciously Tengu Man of him. He's trying to control someone else's AC as if it was his own! His need to control knew no bounds.

[This message has been edited by Tengu Maul (edited 05-17-2000).]

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Post #1048, by Mani Mani

(Yes, I agree with Tengu. We do have lives outside the IF, and with the end of school nearing and all, it can be pretty stressful for everyone. Please bear with us here.)

Never in all the posts Mani Mani put on the forum did she ever, not even once, disagree with Tengu. You can understand why I always assumed 'Mani Mani' was Tengu Man multiaccounting.

Ness's group was just about ready to go to face Lavos. The girls and the boys were preparing in their separate rooms in the Twoson hotel. Soon, everyone came out and met in the lobby of the hotel. Mani looked Jeff up and down and smiled.
"Wow, Jeff. You seem so...so confident...and mature...since you came out of your Magicant." Jeff grinned a little.

Mani, just get him alone and kiss him and undo your top and get down to business. Guys are not complicated. A guy like Jeff especially would present zero difficulty at all. A 2 on your Seduce check would do the job easily.

"Thanks."
"Cheep cheep!" went Mani's chick in her pocket.

There's a good double-entendre in there somewhere, but I can't quite find it. I'm sure PP/QC could have.

"Well, are we all ready?" asked Ness. "We're just going to teleport near where Lavos is and wait for Poo there. We can't face Lavos without him." Everyone was ready, so Ness teleported them.

I can set aside Tengu's ongoing attempt to claim various EarthBound characters plus Lavos as his ACs. But this is still very annoying writing, because Mani makes no effort to justify why they can't face Lavos without Poo there. Even with Giygas, OK, Ness is the Chosen One and all, but Paula's the only one of the four that has to be there for it to end well. You can walk into the battle with everyone else in the party dead and she can win it by herself just fine.

The group stood at a distance from Lavos, on a hill overlooking the crater.
"He looks so small from here," mused Mani.
"Yeah, but we all know that's not true," said Jack.
"Now all we have to do is to wait for Poo to get here..." said Paula.
"I hope he realizes we need him badly," said Ness.

She's laying it on a little thick there. This is probably about the right time for guruzeth to jump in and remind everyone that EBPoo's AC is most certainly not the EarthBound character. Except he probably won't because that would just make Tengu's life easier, and guruzeth was in the habit of putting personal agendas ahead of what makes sense.

[This message has been edited by Mani Mani (edited 05-17-2000).]

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Post #1049, by Little Yoshi

(Agreeing with Mani and Tengu, I haven't posted due to enormous projects. Sorry)
(I would rather a vacation IF, but this adventure is pretty neat)

I don't really know why it's such a big deal to have things to do other than post on IF once in a while. Next we'll be reading 'sorry I didn't post sooner but I really had to piss!'

Tim finally woke up. "Whoa, and I thought I got up early..." Tim moaned, looking at the clock saying 9:00.

In 2000, 9:00 WAS early. For me, at least.

"Okay, everyone who's on the boat, I guess you all want to go to Lavos, so I'll get you all there," Tim said. He used his trusty spring-out-of-the-water-thingy, and landed in the waters just outside Saturn Valley.

I seem to recall this actually isn't the first appearance of MacGyver's latest work, the spring-out-of-the-water-thingy.

"Okay, everyone! Please watch yer step!Make sure you have all of your personal belongings, and go whup lavos's rear end...um, wherever that is!" Tim said. The crew(excluding Tim) disembarked. "I'll be back soon...maybe," Tim said, and sprung off.

I notice that Liyoshi really prefers to fight solo battles. That or he's waiting for a chance at a Big Damn Hero moment. Either way, I am pleased with how short this post is. The nuisance quotient of a Liyoshi post tends to grow exponentially, relative to length.

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Post #1050, by SirMontyG

Although taken for a ride by Sir's rage, Diamond Dog was far from finished. After a few exchanged blows, an odd sound could be heard...

*Trumpet Fanfare, folowed by odd elevator music*

"Just great." Anthadd and Sir said in unison. They both realized who had just dropped in..

"Pictures taken instintaniosly! Wait a minute, isn't that the cutest little puppy you've ever seen? Now you two guys get by your pet.."

"*cough* *cough* *Crazy* *cough* Um.. he's not housetrained, we'd better stay here."

"Well, alright. Ready? Say Fuzzy Pickles!"

"No." The two again said in unison.

"Perfect. That will bring back the fondest of memories..say, what are you two doing all the way out here, anyways?"

"Well, I was recruiting Anthadd to help get all the AC's together to destroy Lavos and a few other evils, but he's really just looking for the melodies, so I was going to help him with the Fire Spring and bid farewell." Sir stated

"Ahh, that's all and good, except only the chosen ones can defeat Lavos." Said the Cameraman

"Well, what about Randites or evil AC's?"

"What are you asking me for, I'm only a photograher..Ahh well, time to fly!" *odd elevator music*

"Man, now I really don't know what to do.."

*GrrrAwer!!*

Major Asshole yet again makes me LOL. This entire post is pretty much a 'hey Anthadd, I'm bored with this, can we wrap it up?' Major Asshole's bizarre tangents really add flavoring to series of posts that really can get pretty tedious. I'm sure you're as thankful for them as I am.

"Oh, right, the boss.." and so the heated battle continued

No it didn't. The heated battle ended like two Anthadd posts ago. It's Diamond Dog you're fighting now. So this is, I don't know, the hard battle or something.

Posts #1041-1045: 17 May 2000

Post #1041, by PSIOsman

Back at the hotel, Osman, Alan, and Siris found the place deserted.

Remember Alan? AKA SaturnAl. He vanished yet again. I find myself hoping PSIOsman attempts to ditch him again, so he can immediately reappear. SaturnAl is boring and has no original ideas, but let's give him a lot of credit for knowing it and refraining from posting.

"Not again! What is this carp? We're always missing everything!" Osman yelled. He started kicking things.

"Calm down, dude..." said Alan.

"Maybe we should go to Summers? We don't need the others to have a vacation!"

That's an important insight PSIOsman is having there. You'll also notice that there is still disagreement as to where exactly "the hotel" (meaning the place where it all began) is located. It was clearly not in Summers; PSI322 named the place 'Eagleland Island'. team guruzeth declared it was in Summers, erroneously. PSIOsman is holding the line and asserting it's not. Good for him.

"Oh yeah, the vacation. Now that we beat the Randite..." (Ultra-freaky organ music plays) "What was that?" Asked Alan."

"So, do we go to Summers or what?" Asked Osman.

"I guess..."

These posts show the flavor of IF at that time, when it was normal for people who didn't really want to post any new content to post a couple paragraphs of fluff anyway, just so as not to be forgotten. And honestly I had started to forget about Team PSIOsman. PSIOsman was really the only active member and he hadn't posted for a while.

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Post #1042, by t0nberry22

(Pikachu, I have a way to beat at least one of Lavos's second form, but I'll only use it IF YOU GUYS QUIT IGNORING ME!!!!!! I mean, c'mon, you if you don't wanna help me fight Dark Ton, fine. But at least respond to my posts!!!!)

You know, it wasn't that long ago that I was a teenager, and I can remember that I used to irrationally blow up like this anyway. The fact should be obvious that this post is going to accomplish exactly the opposite of what he wants; people are going to be more inclined to ignore him, because he's pissing them off.

Speaking of which, I don't reckon it will be very long before somebody screams at him for suggesting he can kill Lavos.

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Post #1043, by Falcon24

(ok, let me just say something. NONE of the AC's can kill Lavos. Tengu stated that quite some time ago that only the chosen four(if you don't know who they are, shame on you) can defeat Lavos. just go after the Randites or something, like he suggested.)

Ha! Called it.

It is bizarre that Falcon24 is behaving like a Tenguling. But rest assured he has his purposes.

But you know what's changed since the last round of fighting over Lavos as an AC? guruzeth is here now.

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Post #1044, by guruzeth

Ha! Called it again.

(I'm taking it Lavos is Tengu's one AC, or else he wouldn't have any authority at all to make such rules.)

Did you see that? That right there, my friends, is how you lay the smack down. Boom. I hereby forgive guruzeth for about half of how annoying he was during the Great Pyramid Excursion, just for how awesome that was.

"Something wrong, guru?" Tracy asked as they made their way to the restaurant.

"That manager..." said guruzeth, "he seems so familiar. diospadre..?"

"diospadre?" said Juliana. "THE diospadre? The guy who does stuff?"

No, Juliana, not the guy who does stuff. That's spaanoft.

I have no clue how guruzeth could possibly have mixed that up.

"Yeah, I think it was..." said guru. He shook his head hard. "Anyway, I'm famished. Let's go eat." At this point, they were at the restaurant.

"Table for five," said Chris, and they were almost immediately shown to their table. It was right next to the window, and had a lovely view of the gentle and brillant sea.

It's just my own personal taste, but I prefer short descriptions based on a few adjectives to three paragraphs.

"Wow, this place is expensive," Poo observed as they looked at the menus. "Braised Boa over minced baby leeks..?" the whole group winced.

"How bout just a chicken sandwich or something," said guru, looking in dismay at the menu.

I was not a gourmet then, and I am not a gourmet now. Now that I'm considerably richer I prefer steaks to chicken sandwiches, but that's about it.

Juliana and Chris, who understood French, were poring over the choices. guru, who just might be the only one at the table who didn't know French, just glanced at them and then at the menu.

True story: I studied Spanish in high school, but upon commencing college a few months after this was written, I switched to French, even though it meant three semesters of foreign language rather than two. I did this for two reasons: (1) I hated Spanish in high school, but more importantly (2) it made PSI322 happy, as she was a big fan of the French language.

"Phish food!" cried Tracy. "I'll take that! Go with the good stuff!" The waiter came by, and they placed their orders; guru just guessed something that didnt' look like it would include cheese, and hoped for the best.

The deliciousness of Phish Food was a running joke between guruzeth and Traceh. And there is a very good reason why I don't like cheese: it tastes very bad.

"It's so great to be able to just relax and have fun for once," Juliana was saying...

See, this is bad. guruzeth is emphasizing that he doesn't want drawn into violence, yet the way he ended the post makes the most natural response "...when a Lavos Spawn crashed through the window."

------------------
"What is the use in being elected or re-elected, unless you stand for something?"
- Grover Cleveland

- guruzeth
Starmen.Net forum administrator

guruzeth should have banned himself for putting his signature on an IF post. Or maybe Chris should have banned him; that would have been entertaining. It's a good quote, but guruzeth just demonstrates what an egomaniac he was.

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Post #1045, by Pikachu3164

((I'd like to say a thing about Lavos - Tengu said that only Ness, Paula, Jeff, and Poo can defeat Lavos. Unfortuneatly, Mani and Tengu, the people who are with 3 of the chosen four, have not posted in quite a while, unless I'm mistaken. Now, if the person in charge of them isn't gonna post, how are we going to defeat Lavos? I really want this to be a vacation IF, where everyone is on vacation, not worrying about a spiky thingy draining Earth of it's energy. So, unless Tengu and Mani make a post, I'm going to assume that we can defeat Lavos without them.))

3164, you really should just leave the Falcon-smacking to the grownups. You rambled for a paragraph and succeeded only in making yourself appear whiny and clueless. guruzeth very effectively hamstrung Tengu Man and Falcon24's attempted control of Lavos with one sentence.

**********
Anyways, Pikachu and his friends travelled to Winters. There, they entered Pond Cave.

Pikachu and his friends encountered Shroom! For some reason, Shroom! let Pikachu and co. into Rainy Circle!

I've said it before, but damn it, people keep doing it wrong: there are three o's in Shrooom!. I do like, however, that Shrooom! is the one Sanctuary Boss smart enough to get killed a few times and then say "screw this, they don't pay me enough for this" and retire from Sanctuary-guarding.

Pikachu absorbed the power of Rainy Circle!

All of a sudden, Pikachu, who had gotten each of the ten melodies, became aware of the powers of Earth.

The Apple of Enlightment appeared to Pikachu. "Pikachu, you have gifted with the powers of the Earth. Using these powers, you must go and defeat Lavos. I mean, I need a vacation too! HURRY UP!"

[Okay.]

Pikachu and co. jumped onto the Yoshi, and went at high speeds towards Fourside!

Pikachu let out a telepathic cry to let Ton know they were coming to help. Ton, we're coming to help you!

Damn it, 3164. Right up until that last post I was cackling with glee, thinking that you were responding to t0nberry's bitching by ignoring it. You were that close to doing something bona fide awesome.

[This message has been edited by Pikachu3164 (edited 05-17-2000).]

I would make fun of this post, but the fact is it saved this entire five-post batch from being a batch in which nothing happened. In review: PSIOsman decided to go to Summers; team guruzeth sat down in the Restaurant du Summers but has not yet actually ordered anything; 3164 collected the last melody and talked to the Apple of Enlightenment; and in between t0nberry22 and Falcon24 did some bitching. Pretty underwhelming, that.

Posts #1036-1040: 16-17 May 2000

Post #1036, by diospadre

"Sure, I know a few places to eat around here. Well I know 2. THat's really all we have here. Pretty ironic, seeing as this town is a resort." diospadre liked the group before him.

diospadre always had hilariously low-key ways of pointing out the absurdity in EarthBound. Well, actually, he could do it more overtly too, such as his legendary quote "the girl can create fire for god's sake, and they're trapped by a locked door."

They all seemed likable, and yet oddly familiar. "I got the ins at the Stoic Club, so you could go there."

Can't be too familiar if you're describing guruzeth or Chris as 'likable'.

"I prefer real food over rocks and water," guru bluntly stated.

Good man.

"Ok, well then you can dine at the Restuaraunt Summers."
"Man, this trip is really taking its toll on my wallet," the stingy guruzeth stated.
"No problem, it's on me," dios replied as he tossed a wad of bills onto the floor.
"Hey, thanks!" said Juliana as she began to leave with the others.

LOL. This is what a man clearly enjoying being an AC looks like. Well, a man who is actually entertaining enjoying being an AC. I'm sure Liyoshi is enjoying the hell out of his AC experience, but that's at our expenses. 

And look at the results, too: he's got guruzeth on the receiving end of his casual generosity. Chris should be taking notes on how to do that right.

"No problemo. Adios, mis amigos."
As guruzeth heard the manager's parting words, he stopped dead in his tracks. Could it be?

You see, the pigeon Spanish was supposed to be diospadre's signature style. So obviously guruzeth is supposed to recognize it. (Apparently no one else in the group is supposed to, though. I don't know.)

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Post #1037, by SirMontyG

"Well, no use in gawking at it. Harrrah!" Sir yelled as he swung at the newly dimonized feind. *smmmaasCRACK!*

What the hell? This post guest written by loid?

"MY BAT!!!!!" Sir cried in pain "It just split in two!"
"Whoa, calm down, Sir.."

Anthadd sounds like Marcie there.

*grrrrrr..*
"You vile, miserable, mangy mutt! You've ruined my prised possesion! My personal weapon!! My louiesville slugger..You shall PAY!"

Prized. Possession. Louisville. And there really needs to be a Constitutional amendment outlawing the use of more than one exclamation point at a time under any circumstances.

Sir pulled a huge right cross, followed by a stunner, followed by a german suplex, followed by a hard knee, followed by a roundhouse, followed by a cross right uppercut straight to the chin. Diamond Dog was seriously knocked for a loop.
"Ouch..Them razor sharp edges smart.."

Yeah, in reality if he weren't an AC he would have dismembered himself attempting those stunts on a dog made out of sharp jagged diamond.

This battle really needs to end. Yesterday.

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Post #1038, by t0nberry22

(Guys, what's the big idea? You completely forgot about me and Dark Ton!!!! Geez, I wish people would quit doin' that...)
(Ok, so now I'm in the Lavos Crater with DT, and you're in Tim's boat. Are you gonna help me or not?)

Yes, I just discussed this the other day. People are actually responding in the correct way to someone or something unwelcome being forced into their plotline: by ignoring it. Were t0nberry22 good at IF he would recognize this means no one is interested in Dark Ton and would follow their lead in forgetting his existence. Or if he's allergic to dangling threads, killing him off or putting him on a bus in one paragraph right now. There's no shame in admitting it wasn't a good idea and moving on, before it makes things even worse for you.

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Post #1039, by SuperSpeedy/ Mankey Boy

(I might not be online as often, on account I can now go online only at school. It's a punishment, but it may not last too musch longer. Just until Saturday or Monday or Tuesday.)

One of those days that end in -day, he's almost certain.

Cute of him to post the public service announcement about his whereabouts, as if one soul in this thread gave a damn.

Shock Bird then crowed and said [I gotta go. My wife laid eggs and today's my day to incubate 'em! I'll come back when I know of a task that I sence Poryhedron can't handle.] Then, in his best imperonation of Bill Nye, the Science Guy, said [See ya!]
Shock Bird left.

So SS/MB plans to switch his ACs in and out like a tag team, depending on the circumstances (such as how bored he is at a given time). It violates the letter of the law, but actually not necessarily the spirit. The one AC per writer rule (AKA the Tengu Man Rule) was instituted to prevent a single writer from using numerous ACs to accomplish one or both of (a) influencing every plotline in the thread, and (b) dominating a particular plotline by sheer numbers. (Both of these were Tengu Man Specials.)

But if you have merely a rotating cast of ACs such that you, the writer, are only on one plotline with one AC at a time, there's no problem with that. I don't think there's any reason to prevent SS/MB from amusing himself so. He's extremely harmless.

"Well, Pikachu," said Poryhedron, "I bet you can count on me to come with you to Winters!"
[I guess,] said Pikachu.
"Oh, I made you a treat!" said Poryhedron, pulling out the Peanut Cheese Crossiant Bar. "I went online and found instructions on making homeade Peanut Cheese Bars. Using that, I made you this Peanut Cheese Crossiant Bar!"
Pikachu grabbed it and ate it.
[DELICIOUS!] yelled Pikachu.
" Glad you liked it!" said Poryhedron.

Endearing himself to 3164: it worked before, surely it will work again. 

I'd like to take this opportunity to welcome SS/MB back to the thread. His childish rambling is exhilarating after a few hundred posts of Serious Business (not to mention Liyoshi).

[This message has been edited by SuperSpeedy/ Mankey Boy (edited 05-17-2000).]

---

Post #1040, by TsuramiSea

I'm curious to see whether Tsurami's finally going to get around to doing anything besides wandering around semi-aimlessly and declaring that gosh, he sure hopes to meet someone. Let's read!

A cargo barge pulled into a port in Toto. The shipmen began to unload the vegetables on board. TsuramiSea knew that he had to be very careful about getting out.

Oh, right. I just remembered he performed a pretty near physically impossible stowaway stunt, last time he posted. That was a while ago.

He slipped between crates, fortunately it was only a few men unloading the ship. Soon TsuramiSea got out of the cargo room and ducked-and-covered behind various structures on the ship until he snuck off of the gangplank and ran off into Toto. He had successfully stowawayed to Summers! He felt rather exhilirated, but decided against making a habit of doing things like it.

It's amusing the way he handled this with phrases like 'behind various structures on the ship' to disguise the fact that he knows nothing about ships at all besides what he's seen in a few movies. It works because neither would any of his readers, if he had readers, which he doesn't. His potential readers, let's say, in the interests of being polite.

Tsurami looked around him. This is definitely Toto, he thought. "Okay, great, I'm here! Now all I have to do is find these friends of mine, that is, if they're still here."

So I guess that 'doing something' won't be happening in this post, then.

TsuramiSea began to head off to Summers. As he walked, he thought about how the hint man had said that Lavos was in Fourside. But, he had been in that city, almost all over it, and hadn't seen Lavos. Either he was being less observant than usual, or the hint man had been mistaken.

That is pretty funny imagery: usually I'm pretty observant, but I just happened by chance to walk all through Fourside and fail to find a giant malevolent space hedgehog.

TsuramiSea wasn't sure what to think. But he didn't worry himself about it at the moment. He just wanted to find more SM.Netters and see what they were like. A small, secret part of TsuramiSea hoped they'd be people he could talk to without feeling alienated. He entered the entrance to the great resort town. Great.... now I just need to search this WHOLE town for these people.... was his thought before walking off into the large groups of buildings in the buisness area of Summers.

It bears repeating that TsuramiSea was not subtle in his writing. He's remarkably explicit about the major need-for-acceptance issues he has. I actually think he was smart enough to know Tengu Man was kind of a creep, but emotionally he just had to be accepted by somebody. It's the exact recipe for Instant Tenguling: Just Add Attention.

Posts #1031-1035: 16 May 2000

Post #1031, by guruzeth

"Ugh," said guruzeth, squirming, "I can do without this suit, it's choking me. Now that I'm at a hotel, I can withdraw from my ATM card, so I'll be back soon." He took his leave, leaving the others to chat amongst themselves for about 15 minutes, before he returned, clad in khakis and a polo shirt, and handed Chris his suit. "So what do we want to do?"

The odd thing here is that I am now very fond of suits, or at least dress shirts and dress slacks. And 2000 was about the time I had started getting fond of them. The khakis/polo thing is true to what I wore virtually every day at the time, but still, I don't think this was about the choice of clothing. It was about guruzeth refusing to allow Chris to make any decisions for him.

"Well," said Juliana, "We've been pretty much everywhere, Chris and I."

"Ah, really, PSI?" said guru. "Well..."

"Please, you can call me Juliana."

"Right."

I like guruzeth's one-sentence notation that yes, he is aware of Chris's great PSI322-chasing adventures. The 'call me Juliana' thing is also an understated slap at Chris. That's right, we're on a first name basis already. In your face.

"I'm beat," said Tracy. "Maybe we should just kinda chill for a day or two on the beach or in a restaurant or something."

"I'd be up for that," said guru. "We can figure out what else we want to do in the meantime."

I'm somewhat surprised that guruzeth also punted on picking something specific to do, but I guess it comes back to what I noted in the last episode: he doesn't want anything to do with fighting for great justice right now.

"I'm hungry," said Poo. "Let's go have some breakfast."

"Excuse me!" guruzeth called to the ludicrously young assistant manager of the hotel. "Do you know any good places to eat breakfast?"

So guruzeth offers the hook to diospadre to join in. If he takes it, group guruzeth will swell to six members, which if it holds together would be the largest running group in the Gathering so far. This is what usually happens over the course of a long IF; you start with disparate small groups, and they condense over time into a few larger groups.

---

Post #1032, by loid

"NO! Paralyzed! Cant, seem, to, move, or, talk, at, normal, rate, cant, stop, using, commas,"

I laughed. I'm a dork.

[Now lets do this my way, I can either leave you here to die, or you give my my sound stone back!]

"No, Lavos would torture me for all eternity if I gave you a sound stone."
[Your nothing but Lavos's slave, come on! with those melodies your stronger then Lavos! Together we can kill Lavos!]

Ah, the Darth Vader ploy--"together we can kill the Evil Overlord and reign over the universe"--which is named after its most famous example, but George Lucas certainly didn't invent it. It's been around pretty much as long as evil has. Which means pretty much forever.

"You mean, I and my people would be free of his control? No, we would die."
[Dont you understand? Lavos itself told you that you had to kill those with melodies beacuse the melodies can destroy him!]
"Destroy Lavos? I have secretly wanted to do that for 5 thousand years."
He then let go of Pikachu
That's how it ends. No punctuation. He burned it all up in that third sentence.

The '5 thousand years' thing is a DUN DUN DUN moment for sure, but it's not quite well written enough to make the small amount of sense required to hook your reader. We are left thoroughly confused about who Kiyo's People are or why we should care about them.

---

Post #1033, by Anthadd

Anthadd noticed this golf club was unnaturallly hardy, and was withstanding essentially anything Carbon Dog could do.
Remembering what had happened previously, he became more prudent, jabbing with the golf club, throwing golf balls at high speeds.

I'm scratching my head pondering how jabbing with a golf club causes golf balls to be thrown. That is one far out golf club, is all I can figure. It actually sounds like something a random boss in Monster Party would do.

A flash of light blinded he and Sir, and the silhouette of Carbon Dog crystallised.

"Oh no..." Anth muttered. "Diamond Dog."

This is a specific f--- you to Tengu Man and I love it. Even if I am horrendously bored by this third iteration of a boss fight that was boring the first time it happened.

---

Post #1034, by Mog116

(Dang, I'm confused. I feal like barfing up a new story. Is anyone as confused as I?)

You may well be confused, but I think your complaint has more to do with being bored. And yes, some folks, such as myself, are bored.

Mog walked past Kiyo/Randites room, not knowing what was going on. The he somehow found himself back at the Hotel. [Weird. Man, I'm confused.] He thought aloud. He walked along the beach awhile, pondering why he was here. Then he stopped. [Wait. We can't just wait here. We need to fight Lavos.] Mog sat off to fight Lavos' robot form. But, he decided not to go by himself. He stood on the beach, waiting for someone who was tired of this being an "Adventure" IF, instead of a vacational IF.

(Any takers? I wanna kill Lavos and get back to my vacation.)

A noble quest. Impossible, but noble. Here are some windmills, why don't you joust with them until you feel better?

Mog116 might be the first of the Kiddie Klub to openly state his boredom, but he probably won't be the last. It's not really because the Lavos thing is stupid, I don't think. It's more because it's now stretched out over many hundreds of posts and nothing--nothing--important has happened. It's a lesson in How Not to Write a Story. At the very least, if you must write an IF thread involving saving the world from a Chrono Trigger villain, give us some action. That's the big problem with the middle part of the Gathering (which we are nearing the end of).

---

Post #1035, by Pikachu3164

((I wish this would just return to being a vacation IF... If there was a way to one hit K-O Lavos, can you guess who would take it in an instance?))

The thing is, these guys were around when it was a vacation IF, and the reason we got to the Chrono Trigger crossover/Save the World silliness is that they--these same guys--got bored with the vacation and decided saving the world would be more exciting. Now they're bored with that and want the vacation back.

The other thing is, they badly miss the point here, behaving as though so long as Lavos is alive they have no choice but to fight. It seems to have never occurred to them that they could simply ignore Lavos and do whatever they want. If they did that, before too long the Lavos thing would be Tengu Man's exclusive plotline, and everyone else, even Falcon24, would have left it behind.

**********
Pikach jumped of of Randite. [Okay. I'm going to go get Tim. You stay here, understand!?]

Randite eyeballed Pikachu. "It's, not, like, I, can, move. You, par, a, lyzed, me, re, mem, ber? I, can, har, dly, talk. "

3164 seems as amused by loid's commas as I was.

[Yea, whatever.] Pikachu started to search through Randite's whatever he keeps his stuff in. He found what he was lookinf for. [I thought you gave the Sound Stone to Lavos!]

"I, was, going, too, but, La, vos, could, n't, take, the, pos, i, tive, en, er, gy. He, gave, it, to, me, to, keep, for, now."

[Sure...] Pikachu ran out, and started towards Tim's room. He thought that if he could get the final melody, Rainy Circle, maybe, just maybe, he could beat Lavos and finally relax. Pikachu noticed that the sun was rising.

Again. Let's hope no one arbitrarily decides it's not morning after all and we revert, Groundhog Day style, to the previous night.

[Tim! Wake up!]

"What?" Tim was not too happy that Pikachu had waken him up.

Pikachu told Tim what had happened during the night.[First, I got the Sound Stone back. Second, Randite is still controllin Kiyo. He's paralyzed in my room. Third, get us to Winters.]

Tim, still half asleep, managed to mutter a "Now?"

[Yes. Now.]

"Fine, whatever."

Everyone who has doubts Liyoshi is so easily going to agree to be bossed around like this, raise your hands. I thought so.

You have to give 3164 some credit, though. He's trying his damnedest to get something to happen. Unfortunately for him, if your goal is for something to happen then Liyoshi is the worst person in the entire world to have in your plotline.

Posts #1026-1030: 16 May 2000

Post #1026, by Mog116

(We're on Tim's boat, murkkie.)

That's all the clarification poor lazy murkkie is going to get. It's still more than I would have given him.

Mog almost laughed his stomach up when he got up. (It's the Morning, Kay?) he passed Loid's (Are you still Randite?) room-thingy on the boat, thenfell into the water. Mog swam, with much trouble, back to the boat. Then he remembered something. He pulledout a small romote control, then pressed the big button. There was a loud beeping noise, then Mog followed the noise, then tripped over something. He looked down, then saw his duffel bag. [Cool. He kept it.]Mog thought hard, then his duffel bag was teleported back to his house. [Well, that's finished. I wonder what to...] Just then, there was a thud, then a loud scream. [What the...]

(Someone finish this. I'm to lazy.)

I'm not sure what purpose that last line serves, other than to make everyone like Mog116 even less than they already do. The preceding paragraph basically constitutes a complete post by Moggot standards. It's hard to read, it accomplishes nothing, and even after several scholarly read-throughs it makes no sense. What does the duffel bag have to do with anything? Who cares that Mog fell into the water if nothing happens there? It's impossible to care about this post even if you try really hard to. 

---

Post #1027, by Pikachu3164

It wasn't really day time - Mog was just seeing things.

It appears 3164 is just about done dealing with Moggot's random crap.

What he heard was Pikachu jumping on Randite and letting loose a Thunderbolt. You see, Pikachu wasn't really a gullible little rat. When he heard Randite talk about gullibility, he knew Randite was on the loose.

The 'gullible little rat' thing came from loid's last post. I think we officially have a minor spat between loid and 3164, my friends!

[You thought I'd fall for that? Yor the gullible one... WHERE IS MY SOUND STONE!]

Randite was paniced. How could this rat know that I was lying? "I told you! It's with Lavos!"

Pikachu was outraged.

I don't think he strictly means IC, either. This is shaping up to be quite a hissy fit post by 3164 standards. He's as mad as hell and he's not going to take this anymore!

He was so close to completeing the original Sound Stone with melodies... His hopes of ever defeating Lavos and going on a vacation were basically desroyed. [I'm gonna make you pay, Randite!] Pikachu let loose the strongest Thunder Wave he had ever let loose. Randite was instantly paralyzed.

"Ouchies... I can't move!"

[This message has been edited by Pikachu3164 (edited 05-17-2000).]

Give 3164 credit for this: at least he didn't swear never to come back and stomp out of the thread in a huff, like certain other parties I could name were prone to do.

---

Post #1028, by diospadre

"Yes sir! Thank you very much!" dios exuberantly thanked the hotel owner. He was no longer a bellhop. He was now an assistant manager at the hotel, with an enormous pay increase, and lots of perks.

Such a thing is too absurd to approach realism; yet it probably doesn't crack the top 100 absurd things that have happened in the Gathering. This is why I love IF.

dios congratulated himself.

Like guruzeth, diospadre was fairly fanatical about insisting you do not capitalize his handle.

He looked back at how far he came. Three months ago, he was a nobody. He didn't even know who he was back then. He had woken up in a hospital; the doctors told him he was found on the beach. dios could only remember one thing of his past. The name "diospadre." He didn't even know his real name, let alone where he was from or what his past life was like. He proved to be very self sufficient, though. He quickly obtained a job at the town's resort and became friends with many of the town's wealthy inhabitants, even the distant Stoic Club members. He found he had a knack for making money, and was very well-off, despite the fact that he was a bell hop. Now he was managing a hotel, at his age.

I took up managing a hotel in my late 20s and that seemed to have been considered remarkable. So yeah, doing so at 18 if your parents aren't the owners would be very impressive indeed.

It was funny, he didn't even know his age. He figured he was around 17 or 18, though. He greatly enjoyed his life, but he still had the feeling that there was something more to him. This was the only thing that troubled him. Through all of his acclomplishments, he still felt he was meant to be more.
diospadre's attention was diverted by the group of teens enter the lobby. He smirked as he realized that he wouldn't have to work as their bellhop, or anybody elses', ever again.

It seems that since diospadre missed the party, and also because he always had a flair for being different (and not in the typical teenage "I'm just as unique as everyone else" sense), he decided screw this arriving by plane crap, I'm giving myself mysterious origins instead. And he actually made it work pretty well. I like this post. It's mildly self-fellating, but compared to the severely self-fellating air to almost everyone else's self-introduction posts way back when the post count was still in double-digits, it feels refreshing. And it's a proper Protagonist Introduction. This is clearly a Boy of Destiny.

---

Post #1029, by Chris

"Let's see here...what have we got?" Chris mumbled to himself as he looked through his closet for something for guruzeth to wear. "Okay, it's a toss up. You can take the red shirt and jeans, or the suit I wore last night. Take your pick."

"I'll try the first outfit." guruzeth said, and went into the bathroom to change. A few minutes later, he poked his head out the door, saying that it was too small.

"Okay, here's the suit."

After another quarter of an hour, guruzeth emerged in a suit, dressed to kill.

It is extremely funny, watching Chris attempt to dress guruzeth in his own hand-me-downs from the previous night. Chris is kinda-sorta trying to do the Right Thing, but failing so badly at it. I don't think guruzeth is going to take kindly to this. Chris probably meant it mostly as a call-back to the Greatest Date Ever with him and PSI322 the previous (in-universe) evening.

"Looks good on you. Now, let's go and see how Poo and the others are doing."

There is no logical reason why EBPoo would be excluded from this. I think Chris is mostly excluding him because Chris is an administrator and EBPoo was a common serf. Even that doesn't quite make sense, though, as EBPoo was a starmen.net staffer.

The two of them entered the elevator and were soon back in the lobby. They sat in a few chairs with Poo and talked of their adventures so far. guruzeth told of his journeys through Scaraba, Chris told of his travels through Deep Darkness, and Poo talked of his quest to rule the world, and subsequent awakening.

While guruzeth faintly smiled and exercised much effort not to sadly shake his head at such a feeble world-conquering attempt.

After a little while longer, the eleveator opened and Juliana and Tracy emerged. Tracy looked much better than she had when Chris had first met her, now that she had had a chance to clean herself up.

I, uh, guess that's supposed to be a compliment?

"Ah, Tracy, PSI322, come and sit with us. We were just talking about everyone's adventures, and we'd like to hear about yours." guruzeth greeted them.

A little weird that guruzeth is addressing PSI322's AC as 'PSI322' instead of the 'Juliana' she has already stated she prefers. But I think this one is attributable to oversight, rather than malice.

"Sure." Tracy replied, and they soon were seated, talking about the island and planning their next adventure, this time together...

So like Traceh, Chris wants to keep the plotline moving but has punted the opportunity to actually choose what they do next. But then, you have to remember that EBPoo has signed up for Team We Don't Want To Do Anything Because We Think This Lavos Crap Is Stupid. So they're not likely going to do anything that has any relevance to saving the world. They're just going to kind of gypsy around a while.

---

Post #1030, by SirMontyG

Anthadd fell into the pit of lava below, but Sir quickly ran down a nearby path after him.

"ANTH!!!" Sir's desparate cry echoed through the springs.

"Sir! Over here!" Sir looked over and saw Anth off the side of the cliff, the head of his club hooked around the edge with the rest of his body dangling.

For the record, this was written a good five years before the Return of the King film. Peter Jackson is a long way away from having invented that one.

"Hang on!" Sir ran over and helped Anthadd up. "Whew..you okay?"

"That lousy mutt..." With a look of rage in his eye, Anthadd ran back up to the spring, Sir following behind...

Anthadd doesn't really do rage. Also I am growing increasingly disappointed with Major Asshole, because he's starting to remind me of Liyoshi with pointlessly dragging out a foregone conclusion of a battle. Major Asshole needs to get back to what he does best, which is loosely travel around and make fun of people.

Posts #1021-1025: 16 May 2000

Post #1021, by t0nberry22

Ton looked back... and saw Dark Ton, standing on top of Lavos, laughing evily. "Bwahahahah! Now I and Lavos shall rule the WORLD!" DT then jumped inside the Lavos Shell. "Oh no! Guys, I completely forgot about Dark Ton! We gotta go after him!" Ton then ran for the Lavos Crater.
(Guys, you can help if you want, but don't finish him off. I want to do that, OK?)

You'd think a sapient being would be bright enough to realize that last line there is a perfect way to make sure nobody wants to join your plotline. So if that was his goal, then well played. People do not like being ordered around when it's not absolutely necessary.

Pretty much the only ways to get people to accept being ordered around by you are (1) if you are paying them, or (2) if their life or livelihood is in jeopardy and you are the most competent person in the room.

---

Post #1022, by Traceh

At first Tracy was a bit overwhelmed; a little shy and reserved. All the sudden it wasnt just her and guru, but a bunch of new friends as well. She kept her mouth shut for a while, waiting for the right time to speak and make herself known.

I'm probably imagining things when I detect a tiny dash of forlornness in her comment that it's not just her and guru anymore. Actually I read this mostly as 'I want this plotline to continue but *I* don't want to be the one to decide what the hell we're doing.'

The ride in the elevator was somewhat more uplifting.

Ho ho ho. I see what you did there.

She had found that by studying the way people walk, stand, and talk, you can learn much about them.

Indeed you can, Traceh. Indeed you can. Though I don't know why this comment is thrown in at the particular place it is.

She was glad when the elevator finally came to a stop and they could all get some fresh air.

Trying her best to seem friendly (bad first impresions are never fun) she made quiet conversation with them, being her noramly sarcastic yet friendly self. They walked down the hall of the hotel and stopped somewhere in the middle.

It is very, very hard to be both friendly and sarcastic at the same time. It's probably impossible, in fact. Sarcastic is not an endearing personality trait. It's a flaw you get away with if you're witty about it and/or good at life in other ways. It's a flaw you don't get away with otherwise, which is basically the life story of most of 4chan's population.

"Alright," began Juliana, "I'll take Tracy to my room so she can get freshned up, guruzeth can go with you guys and do the same. Letts all meet up back here in about an hour."

I think it's fascinating that Traceh deigns here that PSI322 is the one that bosses everyone around. And also, for that matter, that (in Traceh's mind) Juliana is singling out guruzeth specifically for such instructions. Remember that, AC-wise, Juliana and guruzeth have just met for the first time. It would make more sense if Juliana had said 'Chris can go with you guys and do the same.' It shows that the Juliana-guruzeth connection was already pretty strong in Traceh's mind.

"Right, we can decide what to do next then," said Poo.

Read: someone else please decide what to do next?

---

Post #1023, by Falcon24

(woo hoo, first AC post in a while :] )

As opposed to OOC posts. Also that was originally a colon-closeHTMLtag sign smiley, but I had to change it because (as you know very well if you've read Pikachu3164 posts) wordpress is retarded and can't render HTML open/close tags.

"Endless night..." Falcon found himself somewhere between Earth and the stars, a place few go. He seemed to be suspended, floating. "Lavos is way too powerful, I underestimated it...and now look at me, dead."

If being dead is the qualification for visiting this place, then Falcon24 is quite wrong; everyone goes there eventually.

He was speaking to himself of course, for he was alone in this dark abyss. He did not have control over his own body, as if he was in a state of suspended animation. It was a lonely place, a place where one could do nothing but reflect. "...how did this all start?"

If that truly is what the afterlife is like, that would really suck. You would go bats--- insane from the loneliness after about two weeks, tops.

He remembered it vividly. The moment he arrived on the island, a ball of fire descending on the tropical thicket below. He had come to party, as anyone would have done...yet when he got there, something had possessed him. It was as if someone knew of his arrival. The instant he set foot on the beach he was enslaved by an incomprehensible power.

Falcon24 is very good at making himself important. It is one of his most characteristic skills, actually, and it's a very useful one to have: one of the most crucial elements to becoming important is carrying yourself as though you already are. Falcon24 was always an expert at this.

He recalled a haunting voice in his head, echoing through his thoughts. "Gather the sanctuary melodies, they will be essential in your future as well as ours..." is what it said. The Sound Sapper was a thing of pure evil, and he should have known that the moment it was delivered to him, it was no mere coincidence. Yet he understood now. The Randites saw him as a perfect avatar to summon their ruler. These same Randites were controlling his thoughts, directing him what to do.

We still do not have a clue what the hell the Randites are or what the hell they really want.

Who, or what, were the Randites? It became clear to Falcon that the Randites did not control Lavos, rather, he controlled them. They acted merely as his emissaries. For millions of years they had lived on the Earth, watching the planet's creatures and technology progress. When the time was right they set their plans into motion. They awaited the arrival of the chosen ones.

You have to remember that the Gathering happened before very many people had played Chrono Cross. Chrono Cross pulled off the amazing achievement of providing an even more stupid explanation for the events of Chrono Trigger than these Gathering writers did.

Yet still, who were they? To be able to live so long, and also be the minions of Lavos. Falcon's brain made the connection. It only made sense that they must be beings of other races enslaved by Lavos. In every time and space there are one or two pure beings who become corrupt by the foul touch of Lavos. Much like Queen Zeal. They live forever as a part of Lavos, his eternal slave, aiding him in his quest to feed on planets.

Well, unless somebody, possibly including their own child, comes along and murders them. That puts a kink in the 'live forever' plan.

If that unknown power hadn't brought him back on the true path, he would have become one of them. He feared that Poo may also have been enslaved by Lavos, yet has not yet awakened .

I wonder whether he threw that in with Poo's permission. Probably.

The Sound Sapper...it affected all it came into contact with. Falcon recalled the incident in Pink Cloud cave when he happened upon pogopunk. pogo had touched the decrepite stone, and afterwards Falcon felt as if he had gained something, yet he knew not what. As Falcon hovered motionless in that Dark Abyss, he pondered what it could be.

Of course! pogo and he were linked in some way. Then he wasn't truly dead! As long as pogo was alive, Falcon only had one foot in the grave. He still could sense things, he could sense where pogo was and what he was thinking. Falcon attempted to reach out to pogo and call him.

"pogo! It's Falcon! Where are you? I need your help!"

I gather this is supposed to be understood as retcon to be chronologically placed before pogopunk's most recent post. It's a long-winded introduction to why Falcon24 is returning from the dead (and possibly as a Good Guy), and yeah, it doesn't advance the plot much. But you have to admit it's extremely well written by our standards.

---

Post #1024, by murkkie

(so confused)

Long form of the above: I am lazy and I do not want to read the eight jillion words that have been written in the past week. Can someone just reach out and pull me into their plotline and quickly summarize what's going on so I can participate and feel loved?

---

Post #1025, by PSI322

Juliana led Tracy down the hallway to her hotel room, where she stopped to fumble for her keys in her pocket. After locating them, she unlocked the door and showed Tracy inside.

"Here, why don't you go into the bathroom and get out of those wet clothes while I look for some clean, dry ones for you to put on?" Juliana suggested in a calm voice. Tracy, still feeling the tiniest bit shy, nodded and went inside. "You can leave them in the bathtub for now, I guess, since they're soaked," Juliana called. After sifting through a few drawers, she located a clean pair of shorts and a shirt, fairly similar to the clothes she was wearing, herself, at the moment.

I'm really curious why there are various clothes that fit Traceh sitting around in the hotel room. Actually, you know what? Forget I said that. One of the rules I live by is 'beware asking questions to which you will regret learning the answers'. I do note for the record that PSI322 described neither the shorts nor the shirt as 'cute'.

Opening the bathroom door a crack, Juliana dropped the clothes on the countertop while Tracy was in the shower. "There you go," she said, shutting the door once more.

A short while later, Tracy emerged from the bathroom, freshened up and clothed in something dry for a change. "Thanks, Juliana," she said with a smile.

"No problem, Tracy," Juliana said as she rose from her seat on the bed. "Now, let's go down to the lobby to meet the guys.

You can almost hear the excitement in her voice there, right?

We can get acquainted a little on the way down. The Starmen.Net girls have to stick together, you know?" They both laughed as they exited the room and proceeded towards the elevators...

This post in summary: Friends Being Friends.

PSI322 was very big on the concept of Starmen.Net Girls Sticking Together. Back in 1999 she, Umi and someone named A.L. Holby were pretty much the only three females active on the forums; PSI322 and A.L. Holby (who both were and are made of awesome) were made moderators by guruzeth pretty close to concurrently, and at PSI322's suggestion guruzeth made Umi a moderator (I think when the Beyond EarthBound forum was inaugurated). PSI322 declared the three of them the Mod Squad and made a big deal out of it. Girl Power was very much her thing.

Posts #1016-1020: 15 May 2000

Post #1016, by loid

Randite tries to surpress the laughter, then pulls out the Dual Neutron Oscilating Laser and blasts several holes in his captors before fleeing to saturn valley.

(In other words, the answer is NO)

I really don't want to be a loid fanboy, but damn it, he's making it harder and harder for me to resist. I must confess I can't think of a much better way to handle Mog116's last couple posts than how loid just did. And notice how he continues to keep it brief. No effort wasted on expressing his disgust there.

Although... I cringe to do it, but I have to confess that this is pretty much the low-grammar edition of exactly how Tengu Man would have handled this situation. Stop forcing me to confront my prejudice!

Also, the 'Dual Neutron Oscillating Laser' sounds exactly like something Liyoshi would make up. Liyoshi posted the very next post, but not for 45 minutes after this one went up. I like to think he had a post ready, then read this one and exclaimed 'curse you for your brilliance, loid!' and hastily scrapped together something else.

---

Post #1017, by Little Yoshi

(Yay! someone remembered something as simple as the name of my boat!)

I also have to acknowledge that's impressive, as it means one would have had to have read a Liyoshi post. Actually it's even more than that; I have (grudgingly) read every word Liyoshi has written so far, and I didn't remember the name of his thrice-damned boat.

"WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED?!" Tim said, overly-concerned about the racket he heard in the middle of the night.
[Kiyo just*snicker*got away with*laugh* Pikachu's*snicker* sound stone.]
"What's so funny, where's Pikachu?" Tim demanded. He didn't mean to be rude to his friend, but he found this as no laughing matter.
[Sorry, I cast*snicker* PSI lol] mog explained.

I think Mog116 was quite clear about the (stupid) capitalization. PSI Lol.

"And Pikachu...?" Tim asked impatiently. Tim never was very patient, as Chris would tell you.

I don't know, you easily wore out all of our patience twice over with that hundreds-of-posts-long Randite/Mani-Mani/whatever-the-hell Battle of Endless Boredom.

[I'm...down...*gasp*]
Tim leapt into the water. Although not a very good swimmer, and he was very sesptical(sp?) to swimmer's ear, Tim looked for his friend.

I think the word he was looking for was 'susceptible'.

It didn't take long to find a yellow body in the water, since there weren't many other bright-colored things. He retrived it, and shot his heal beam at Pikachu several times, reviving him.
[Thanks] Pikachu said, once he was consious.
"Umm, guys, one problem. I only have lodging for 4, sooo, everyone can't spend the night here. Sorry." Tim said.

I remain curious as to how one dives into a body of water and manually pulls out a rat made of electricity without instantly, spectacularly and above all fatally electrocuting himself. But moving right along...

I can't quite tease all the way out why he invoked a Rule of Four here. If he wants to get rid of someone specific (Mog116, most likely) he would have to come up with a much better plan than that, and anyway this is IF and, as PSI322 has demonstrated numerous times, you can't get away from someone who is determined to follow you around. You'd think he'd welcome the popularity. So that explanation doesn't make any sense I can see.

Maybe he's trying to fend off Dark Ton­­® joining the party, but (a) loid already did that, and (b) again, even Liyoshi has to know that ploy isn't going to have a chance of working.

So I don't know. I'd be curious to know if there are any explanations besides 'Liyoshi is being a dick because he is a dick' that make sense.

[This message has been edited by Little Yoshi (edited 05-15-2000).]

---

Post #1018, by Anthadd

"I've got PSI, it's just assist, though."
"Wonderful..."
Carbon Dog woke up, and leapt.
"Aaaa!" Anthadd cried, flying down and out of the Fire Springs.

AAAAA AAA AAA-AAAAAA AAAA AAAAA!

(Translation: 'Using his top-secret code again.')

"Anthadd!" Sir jumped down and ran after him.
Carbon Dog returned to his Shining Spot.

(Tengu: Since this is MY group, you will NOT be telling ME that I can't say THIS group was defeated, since I have a say in what happens to THIS group.)

I grant you that Anthadd is 100% correct, and I also grant you that it's so obvious what Anthadd must be responding to that you could pretty much write it out yourself; in short, Tengu must have recently written a post saying essentially, 'Um, Anthadd? We already defeated Carbon Dog, and Diamond Dog is my AC now so you can't do that.' I'm about 85% sure guruzeth deleted the Tengu Man post Anthadd is violently responding to here.

So you actually can mark this down as where the team guruzeth vs. Tengu Man Gathering War officially began.

---

Post #1019, by pogopunk

[yay, i have a way to enter the if again. whoopee, now back off, i'm reviving falcon 24. *snarl*]

Already been done, kiddo. Between this and some of his previous posts, it seems pogopunk was trying hard to endear himself to somebody semi-important.

after much dawdling, pogopunk finally satisfied his hunger and made his way to lumine hall, where he felt that everything would come back to him after his horrific battle with his self.

I honestly don't even remember what happened with his 'horrific' battle with himself, and I am honestly not interested enough to go refresh my memory. Let's move on.

grabbing a few (with few being a lot to others) royal iced teas and some bread rolls and croissants, he made his way back into the heart of eagleland to meet his fate.

after walking for about ten minutes, he became utterly tired and started pouting. "man, who knew walking could be sooo hard..bwarghh" he set out a towel and sipped some iced tea while resting up.

A bad mistake, really. Getting back up and resuming walking after that is going to be torture.

"hmm, any easier ways to get there.." "ah hah! i think i'll just uh, hmm, walk some more?" baffling himself, pogo got up and tiredly began walking again. admiring the wildlife he saw a monkey teleport away. "YESSSSSSSSSSS! i know how to teleport! whoo hoo! why working yourself when you got psychic powers?" chuckling, he revved up, gained up speed, and arrived near the hole to lumine hall.

I'm just as conflicted as I've been throughout these annotations about this. What's better, just to have godly AC superpowers and use them liberally with no explanation (which means no wasting of our time and precious internet bits)? Or to expend said time and precious internet bits to provide some background on why you have godly AC superpowers (and adding some flavor)? I don't know. I can find things to seriously dislike about both strategies. Basically it boils down to whether it entertains me or not. loid's stuff does. pogopunk's stuff doesn't. It just isn't interesting.

"gnarly!" he exclaimed, but he began to blush when a few tendas stared at him and his archaic language.

'Gnarly' is hardly an archaic word. 'Spoony', now that was an archaic word before Final Fantasy IV made it legendary.

"er, i mean, splendid.." dodging their glares, he jumped into the hole.

I can't help but wonder if he thesaurused 'gnarly' to come up with 'splendid'. His writing isn't bad in general, so it's possible he knew 'splendid' all on his own.

gaping, he stared at the magnificent glowing wall. it appeared to sparkle with a certain something, and slowly his thougths appeared on the wall. he let go of himself and let them unfold in front of him.

transfixed for a few hours, pogopunk finally got up, kicking a few fobbies away. "grr, get off of me!" he yelled, slamming one into the wall.

Aw, come on, man. We're supposed to be able to see your thoughts! That's the whole point!

a whole gang suddenly approached him, and pogo panicked. their eyes began to glow, and he felt nervous. quickly teleporting to outside tenda village, he gathered his thoughts. "when i teamed up with falcon..his sound sapper controlled a part of me, and i established a link with him. now i feel a bond with him, and i need to bring him back, although i dont know why" he began, recalling his thoughts. "must find way to revive him, and go from there..." uneasily pogopunk teleported to the site of falcon's demise, near lavos.

[falcon, hope i didnt mess things up for you, your turn to write..haha, try writing after mine and fail horribly!]

[This message has been edited by pogopunk (edited 05-15-2000).]

That reminds me, just how long has it been since pogopunk last posted any substance? Hold on, I'll go check...

OK, got it. His last post was #844, where he actually was in Summers and just about to set up for Lumine Hall. So score a point for continuity there. It seems to have pretty much been his intention to continue trying to ingratiate himself to Falcon24, and he's ignoring loid's insta-revival to follow through with it.

---

Post #1020, by loid

Meahnwhile, inside Lavos

"Well um, master Lavos" said Randite "Everythings fine, just fine. I have the rodents sound stone. There's no problems."

Good to see the grammar-free loid is back to stay. I seriously suspect a different person was writing loid's posts during that spell when he suddenly became (and remained) a suspiciously competent writer.

"YOU LIE....I CAN SEE YOUR THOUGHTS"
"Well uh, there is this one thing, you see I controll this body only at night and I-"
"WHAT! Wait, this could be of use. Listen Randite, I want you to...."

Yeah, but if Lavos can see his underling's thoughts, what's the point in even talking to him? And since when does Lavos speak English at all, anyway?

[We have to get the sound stone back, Randite coul- RANDITE! YOU SCRAWNY LITTLE-]
"Pikachu! Cool it! AHH! Those thunderbolts hurt! I faught Randite in Magicant and I'm myself agian"
[And the sound stone?]
"Lavos got it."
[Oh well, Ton you break your sound stone in half.]

Wait, what? Why?

They all went to their rooms on the Yoshi except for Ra- I mean Kiyo (whoops) who had to camp outside with Pikachu due to lack of rooms.
"Heh, gulible little rodent."
[Did you say something Kiyo?]
"No, just thinking outloud."

loid appears to be taking the opportunity to express that he's not a big Pikachu3164 fan. At least that's my takeaway from this post.

And that concludes yet another page of the Gathering. Next time we'll get started on our next chunk of 40 posts, wherein Falcon24 officially makes his, er, glorious return, and some girls do some girl things. Page 6 is going to be a treat, as the guruzeth-Tengu Man bickering is going to really pick up steam.

Posts #1011-1015: 15 May 2012

Post #1011, by Pikachu3164

Hey... I've noticed quite a few things I want to point out that seem a bit wierd...

Brother, I've spent the past few years pointing out things that seem more than slightly weird by the truckload. Let's see if you have anything new to contribute.

Note 1 - ((Mog - You at the hotel waiting for someone to arrive so we can unite and ultimately defeat the Randites and Lavos.))

That's, uh... just what Mog116 said in the very last post. What's weird about this? I'm sorry; wierd.

Note 2 - ((I've noticed that no one here seems to be in the same time period. Guru, Tracy, Poo, PSI, and Chris have all expierienced nightfall, but for some reason, Kiyo hasn't expierienced yet.))

Well actually that was just something Chris threw in that makes no sense. guruzeth and Traceh at least were quite plain that it was still broad daylight when they walked into the hotel. So yeah, it's a little off, but no one really gave it a second thought except 3164. That's within the same plotline. Synchronizing time across plotlines? Forget about it. Neither interesting nor necessary.

Note 3 - ((Falcon, if you wanted to come back to life, you should have told us. Now, I have to make up some wierd way to revive you...))

I love that this kid has the balls and/or naivete to talk to Falcon24 in such an indulging tone. That's worth an Awesome Point.

Note 4 - ((How come almost everyone who was in Part I stopped posting...))

Because they have zero interest in saving the world, they were there to party and act weird. It may have slipped past you unnoticed, but there has been a substantial mood shift in the Gathering over these hundreds of posts. A person posting the kind of mild insanity that characterized the first 200 posts would now be ridiculed and possibly attacked for it. The Gathering has become serious business.

That's why there was a long mostly boring slog of 500 posts or so. But now the entertainment value is going to once again spike, because we're about to enter the Gathering's endgame, where most of the posters take themselves way too seriously.

**********

Pikachu and his group, throughly exhausted, managed to get back to the Yoshi.

There, everyone rested until night fell. The battle had totally left everyone forgetting about Randite-infested-Kiyo.

I have to admit, I forgot about him too. And I wasn't even in a battle.

Pikachu was out on the deck locking at the stars, when Kiyo walked up to him. [Hey, Kiyo! Aren't the stars pretty? Hmm... I feel like I should be remembering something...]

Kiyo walked up to Pikachu, and grabbed him. "Stupid rat. I can't believe you forgot about me!"

[Randite! Yikes! Yikes! Help! Help! We've got a Randite problem! Help! Help! Aieeeeee!]

Randite, before Pikachu could draw to much attention, blated Pikachu with his gun and threw him into the ocean.

What the f--- is 'blated'? I assume it was a typo of 'blasted'. Not that a mere gun is going to do any damage to an AC.

Right before he blacked out, Pikachu thought Boy, I seem to be a bully magnet... Oh no! The Sound St.... AIR!

It's almost a guruzeth ploy but then he had to throw in some whining about being bullied. Making it a 3164 ploy.

----------

At Saturn Valley, Falcon's body laid lifeless.

Lay lifeless, unless 3164 means Falcon's body was laying lifeless in the same way that a hen lays eggs. 

All of a sudden, the Apple of Enlightment appeared. "This AC was not meant to die, at least not yet. PSI Super Healing!"

Not once in the history of the world has an AC ever died and stayed dead. Well, making exceptions for pissed-off writers invoking Rocks Fall Everyone Dies and leaving the thread in a huff. Should be obvious why that doesn't count.

All of a sudden, Falcon was revived.

That was pretty much the lamest resurrection in the history of IF. And that's really saying something.

[This message has been edited by Pikachu3164 (edited 05-15-2000).]

---

Post #1012, by loid

Randite looked through Pikachu's yellow backpack until
"YES! The sound stone! I serve my master well indead."

Glad to see the old grammar-free loid is back.

Kiyo headed towards Saturn Valley as Tim, Nathan, Shockbird and poryhydron were sleeping, and Pikachu was sleeping with the fishes.

I love this post so much. More posts like this are what IF needs to get fun again. It's short. One thing happens, but it's one (relatively) plot-advancing thing. Something funny is tossed in. Post is over. IF: loid is doin it rite.

---

Post #1013, by loid

Randite looked through Pikachu's yellow backpack until
"YES! The sound stone! I serve my master well indead."
Kiyo headed towards Saturn Valley as Tim, Nathan, Shockbird and poryhydron were sleeping, and Pikachu was sleeping with the fishes, and i mean that in a mafia like way, not literly ok?

A double post because loid apparently was unaware posts were editable by their authors. Which explains a lot about the gramers.

I *think* loid was trying to say "don't worry 3164 you're not dead, I didn't just try to kill your AC, I was just trying to be funny." But the funny thing is, if you took a few levels in Reading Comprehension you see loid made the problem worse. "Literally" sleeping would mean just that, sleeping, a condition from which almost everyone recovers. "Sleeping with the fishes" is mafia-speak for being dead of not-quite-natural causes.

---

Post #1014, by SirMontyG

Sir waited for a second, and opened his mouth in response. What came out was:


"Is Mel Brooks jewish?"

"How long did it take you to think of that one, Sir?"

"....Three days.." Sir, although a little dejected at his failed joke, rushed headlong into battle side by side with Anthadd.

I wish I could even appreciate the joke for why it failed, but I have no idea what the hell is going on here. Also, did you ever notice no one ever rushes headshort into anything?

*Boss Battle Swirl*
*bupadabaaa!*

Sir and Anthadd engaged Carbon Dog!

This would be the fourth Carbon Dog battle in this thread, I believe.

Anthadd made a quick first attack and clubed Carbon Dog right in the head, causing one of his horns to slice off!

Horns? What the hell have you been drinking? Carbon Dog has ears, this ain't Evil Mani-Mani.

"Wow. Good shot.." Sir said, but it was CD's turn to deliver the pain. Carbon Dog used PSI fire gamma!

Which Carbon Dog can't use. It just breathes fire. You know, because it's made of fire. When you're made of fire you don't need to focus psychic energy to burn people.

Both were totaly scorched by the attack! "Ouch, that was about as hot as Phoenix..alright, my turn! Siddown, boy!" Sir ran and jumped behind CD and swung at the back of his legs. It worked! As a natural reflex, CD fell straight to the ground.
"Hey, Anth, now may not be the time to ask, but if you've got any PSI, now'd be the time to use it!"

I'm pretty sure Anthadd spurned all, or almost all, PSI as a profane thing he would not touch with a 20 foot pole. More at 11.

Post #1015, by Mog116

Mog jumped up and down. "What are you doing?" [Somethings... WROng..fhgeradse.... Randitesdf... PSI Lol!] Mog fell down, then a picture of Randite taking the Sound Stone appeared.Then suddenly, Moggot back up.

I like that. I declare Mog116 'Moggot' from now on. Perfect.

Mog realized the power of PSI Lol!

This thread could use some of that. Here's hoping he uses it liberally.

[Well! We hafta stop him. If I use PSI Lol, he May laugh the randite right off his brain.]

-murk, wanna stop him?:
-Loid, wanna get ridda Randite?:
Well, I found out how!-

Mog and Andrew end up whereever Randite is. Then Mog used PSI Lol. Mog, Andrew and Randite started to laugh hysterically!

'Lol' with that particular capitalization tilts the hell out of me. Ugh.

(Will the Randite leave!? It's all up to Loid)

It would have been a lot simpler just to kill him.

Posts #1006-1010: 15 May 2012

I think this may be a first: I'm posting Annotated Gathering on an anniversary of the actual posts' origin. Today marks 12 years--12 years!!--since these five posts were originally posted. On the nose, too; it's 18:13 as I write these words, and these five posts span from 14:31 to 18:33. It will probably be right around 18:33 when I put this post up.

Post #1006, by Pikachu3164

And Pikachu responded... [My head hurts.]

"Pikachu! You're okay!"

[My head hurts.]

"Yeah, well, we beat the Plague Rat of Doom. Let's go the melody."

[My head hurts.]

Pikachu, Tim, Nathan, and Shock Bird climbed up the ladder to the Magnet Hill. Pikachu and whoever else in my group that doesn't have the melody used their Sound Stones, and then decided to think of a plan later.

Later is always the best time to think of a plan.

They exited the sewer, and met up with Poryhedron.

"Pikachu! How'd it go?"

[My head hurts.]

Your main takeaway from this part is that the Kiddie Klub has agreed, with or without so many words, not to make any further issue of their multiple ACs. I can't remember if guruzeth/PSI322 pushed the issue or not.

---

Post #1007, by Chris

After searching for a few minutes, Chris found himself a nice spot to watch the sunrise. A few tourists were on the beach, but other than that, the silence of the ocean only served to accent Chris' thoughtful mood.

It's odd because I don't remember there being any tourists on the beach back when this all got started. Continuity is falling apart! On an IF thread!

He sat on the sand, watching as the darkness turned into the predawn grey, and wondered what he might do today, whether there was anything he could do.

Besides sit around angsting, I presume. Which appears to be the only thing he's good at, or at least comfortable with.

Slowly, the first rays of sunlight crept onto the shore, and then, the sun began to appear on the horizion. At first it was only a tiny sliver, but soon, Chris saw the whole disk rising up into the low sky. The land began to warm up, and more tourists arrived at the beach to enjoy the Summers oceanfront.

I'm not sure if this kind of writing came naturally to him, or if he was consciously working to imitate PSI322's style in his effort to impress her.

After a while, Chris rose from his place, and began brushing the sand off of himself.

Wait, at what point did he end up on the beach? In his last post he was in a hotel room, having distinctly left his designated rock. I'm confused.

He looked around, and walked towards a small dock situated above the water. There, he threw a few handfuls of sand into the water and watched it fade away into the water.

In this sentence you will notice the unnecessarily repeated prepositional phrase in this sentence.

Amusing himself and feeling a bit better, he decided to return to the hotel and find something to do.

It's funny because the way he wrote it is slightly awkward and suggests 'amusing himself' is separate from the sand-throwing. Meaning he did something else after that to, er, amuse himself. ...yeah.

"PSI322 at your service," were the first words he heard as he walked through the doors, and saw Juliana with three other people.

And turned greener than the Incredible Hulk, but without the muscles.

'She looks much better know,' Chris thought to himself as he strolled up to the people he didn't know.

I think he's kind of publicly crying about PSI322's quasi-rejection of him with the 'she looks much better (now that she's in someone else's company)', but it's not helping him at all. Because yeah, that is in fact exactly correct. His highlighting it only highlights his relatively poor position right now.

"Ah, more newcomers. Welcome. I'm sorry there aren't more people here, they're off exploring the inner island, where a battle to save the world is being waged. In the meantime, I'm glad to meet you. I see you've already met PSI322. I'm Chris, the administrator of the boards."

Um. He does realize that he's introducing himself as the administrator (as if he alone was The Man) to freaking guruzeth, right? You know, guruzeth? Supreme Dictator For Life? the guy who, you know, made you an administrator like two months ago?

It's like he aaaaaalmost but not quite grasped what I said a couple Chris posts ago, about direct warfare against guruzeth holding his only sliver of PSI322 hope. He just couldn't quite bring himself to follow it through.

"I'm EBPoo, and this is Traceh." EBPoo said, introducing himself and his companion.

Traceh was guruzeth's companion, actually. Chris switching her to being EBPoo's companion seems to be indicative of Chris having already written off PSI322 and guruzeth as together. That or Chris never read any guruzeth posts, and actually only knows he's there because of PSI322's last post.

"So, you're Chris," the third person said. "Well, here's your chance to meet your boss. I'm guruzeth."

No, Chris! No! Nooooooo! See? He was SO close to getting it right! And then he backs off and acknowledges guruzeth's superiority. I do appreciate, though, that he makes guruzeth come across as a dick. It shows that Chris pretty much thought that's what he was. And he was right, guruzeth truly was a dick.

"Ah. A pleasure, guruzeth, to meet you in person.

This would be a good spot to apologize for pretending to be The Man. You'd think parents would still say sensible things to their kids like "son, if you ever try to pass yourself off to a group of people as The Man, for f---'s sake make sure the actual Man isn't among them first!"

Oh, and good morning, Juliana." Chris decided to say nothing more, lest he offend her by reminding her of last night.

"Well, now that we're all here, what should we do now?" asked Juliana in a friendly tone.

I like how Chris is deciding how Juliana feels for her.

"Well, Traceh and I just finished floating down the Scaraba river and into the ocean, so we could do with some towels and a change of clothes." guruzeth replied.

OK, so he did read guruzeth's posts, and apparently Traceh's to boot. So it was definitely that first thing I said up there.

"I've got something I could get you, guru. Traceh, I'm sure Juliana, I mean, PSI could help you out there." Chris answered, leading the way back to the elevators.

Why did he go out of his way to call her 'PSI' instad of 'Juliana' all of a sudden? Is he being standoffish? I can't really tell.

---

Post #1008, by Mog116

(Uh... KAY! Im sorry bout how I didn't answer. I was to absorbed in Wild Arms2. Yes, it's out, for any of you that care.)

I don't even remember anything called Wild Arms 2 or what it would even be about. Apparently it was a semi-popular series. Wild Arms 1, 3 and 5 are featured in the Let's Play Archive, but 2 is not.

(Uh.. Wait, where am I? I'm not sre because I was too confused of trying to read that last page, and I kept getting everything confused with My Fangame I'm making.) (So, Where am I? Anyone know?)

His attempts to make himself seem busy and important are rather grimacingly pathetic. Also, read the thread yourself you chucklef---.

---

Post #1009, by murkkie

(I think we are still in the hole)

I don't know or care what that means. And why is murkkie popping out of nowhere after posting nothing for like a week just to say this to Mog116? Moving right along...

---

Post #1010, by Mog116

No, where at the hotel. I'm to lazy and confused to post, though.

I am pretty certain they're not at the hotel. It appears Mog116 has decided to follow the action, which appears to be in team guruzeth right now. Which reminds me, where is Tengu Man? We haven't seen him for a while now.