...Deep darkness monkey!
See, I like Major Asshole because he'll always go with the funny option when you give him a chance."KIIIKIKIIIKIKIKI!!" (why are you guys trying to hit me!)
"Oh, sorry about that, little dude." appologized Sir "We thought you were an enemy.."
"Ki.KI?"(Oh, it must be because of that Sun Dome I had cast on myself. It's a spell that grants the user great speed, hightened reflexes, and a kickin tan. See?)
"Quite a phenominal power. How did you come across this encantment?" inquired Anthadd
"Kikkkiiikiki" (you would be suprised on the kinds of people that wind up here. I even heard that one monkey learned to teleport!)
"Cool..so any chance we could get a hold of this power?"
"Kikikikikikikikikikiiiiiiiiikikikikikkkkikikikikki" (Sure. Just page me.) and the monkey gave the two his pager number, for just such an emergency...
I love pretty much everything in this post. A Make Yourself Cooler spell, known by a monkey who carries a pager. And there are even hints that Major Asshole played EarthBound, as previously discussed. That's why I like this guy. I hope he keeps providing comedic relief as the Gathering goes further and further into Serious Business.
Post #1147, by Anthadd
"Sir, why would a monkey carry a pager around with him?"
"I have no idea."
A waterproof pager, at that. And probably also shock proof, with the Zap Eels around. These are some space age monkeys we're talking about here.Anthadd pocketed the number, thinking it would be smart to save for future usage, yet flabbergasted as to a monkey being in possession of a pager.
"Let's just hope we can reach the settlement soon, Sir." They continued on their way.
You can tell Anthadd doesn't quite know what to make of Major Asshole, but any company is preferable to no company so he's trying to hang in there.
The last three posts (Anthadd-Major Asshole-Anthadd) took place over the course of about 40 minutes.
Post #1148, by Chris
After a few moments of stunned silence as dios was led away by the police, Chris spoke up.
"Come on, everyone, we've got go see what we can do to help."
"But what can we do? We don't have any money." guruzeth replied.
You're a bunch of ACs--the ACs who sit atop the Syndicate, no less--and we're really supposed to believe your hands are tied because you don't have money? Yeah, sure, pal. We just believe the hell out of that.The group was then puzzled again, trying to decide what they could do for their friend. Then, Falcon spoke up.
"Wait a sec. Everyone remembers the first part of Earthbound, right? After Giant Step, Ness gets in trouble and goes to the police station, but gets out because he beats the officers in a fight. What if we do the same thing?"
Points to Chris for identifying Falcon24 as the most appropriate person to raise the option of solving the problem with brute force and violence. IRL guruzeth would do the same, but in-story he's a fanatical pacifist, so even Chris could tell that wasn't an option."One problem. We can't fight. We don't have the strength or experience." Tracy replied.
"Well, I've got my PSI, but it didn't work last time." Juliana added.
The periods at the end of quotations that should be commas are really tilting me here."Look, let's go down to the police station and see what we'll do from there." EBPoo said, and started for the door. The rest of the group followed, and they soon found themselves outside the police station.
You'll notice how Chris made space in this post for exactly one spoken line by each of the
SixFive Friends. This is a pretty reasonable post. Not much happens, but it does move the plot forward ever so much, and he worked everyone in his unusually large group into it.
Post #1149, by diospadre
dios was led through the small Onett police station. As he passed one of the cells he heard somebody say someting about a phish, to which he responded with a scowl. The offending inmate quickly retreated beneath his bed. The officer tossed dios into the cell.
I have no idea what the phish thing is about. Presumably a long lost in-joke.
"man, I've gotta calm down. I can get the car fixed, and its not the attendant's fault he's a crazy nut. I think from now on I'll be a bit more easygoing." Just then, dios heard the voice of an officer.
This is diospadre's way of raising a middle finger to guruzeth. It's very, very mild compared to the way most of the IF veterans would respond to far less meddling with their AC than guruzeth perpetrated. But bear in mind diospadre had never posted on the IF forum before the Gathering, and never would again after it.
"Hey padre! You've got visitors." dios was led to the visiting room. He saw Falcon on the other side of the glass. "Hey dios, how are ya doing?"
A random cop wouldn't know better, but no one who knew diospadre would ever call him 'padre'. It was always 'dios'. Nice flavor there.
"Not bad, I guess. I've only been in there for 19 seconds and I'm already bored out of your mind. Are you guys gonna get me out of here?" dios queried.
"Why don't you just post bail?"
"Well, I can't and I'd tell you why but I'm too lazy to make up a reason." he replied.
I love diospadre's blase and genuinely funny way of expressing how stupid he thinks this whole thing is. He really knew how to work the passive aggression.
"Ok thats cool. Anyway, we're all gonna fight the police officers or something like that to get you out, like in EarthBound. Kinda strange though, seeing as our group is pro-pacifism." Falcon explained.
LOL, he just keeps it coming. What I really like here is diospadre has actually taken the trouble to read the posts of everyone in his group, and is gleefully pointing out the things that make no sense (such as Chris's last post and the fact, which diospadre instantly realizes, that guruzeth is not going to like it).
"Yeah, everybody except you, Mr. 'I just came back to life'," dios joked.
"Heh, yes I do like to fight a bit. Well anyway i gotta go to prepare," Falcon put his fist up to the glass.
"Theres no time for window love!" dios chuckled. "I've almost done half a minute in here! I don't know how much longer I can hold out!"
"Haha, ok. Good luck in there. and don't have an 'accident'." Falcon said with a smirk as he left.
The guard led dios back to his cell, where he was left to his thoughts. "Well, I hope they can help me. I don't really know their abilities, though. Better prepare just in case. I haven't used this since I lost my memory, I hope it still works." dios concentrated, and slowly a wavering blue beam of light extended from his forearm. He grinned as he retracted it once again.
It never hurts to remind everyone "hey, I'm an AC you know, so get this ship moving or I'm going to do my AC thing on my own." Which highlights what's so very wrong and assholish with what guruzeth did: it's not cool to sequester someone else's AC away from the action. diospadre is being very, very patient and good humored about it, by IF standards.
Plus: what the hell, guruzeth? Of all the writers you could have stuck in a cell where they can't do anything interesting, you chose diospadre? Really?
Post #1150, by Little Yoshi
I speculated at the end of Liyoshi's unusually brief last post that Chris may have kicked him off the computer. That post went up at 5:17 PM, then Chris posted at 7:33. So most likely they were interrupted by the call to dinner. This post went up the morning of 25 May, at 6:43 AM. It's short by his standards too, presumably because he had to go to school.
Evil Mani Mani was doing better then Tim this time. "Why?" Tim thought to himself, but decided it was because there were no rules here..."wait, no rules?! That means others can hlep us too? But I can't call others...but HE CAN!"
Tim hadn't realized what was happening, and looked around himself. 6 Randites had gotten him into a pincer battle. Tim, not knowing these thing's power, kept his attention on Evil Mani Mani.
Finally, after taking dozens of heavt blows from behind, Tim lept to his left, and had them all facing his face, or so he thought. 3 more Randites had appeared behind Tim. They attacked, knocking Tim over. 2 more Randites apeared. 11 Randites and 1 Evil Mani Mani vs. 1 Tim was not the fairest match you can imagine. Tim leapt to his feet, and Cycloned all of them. Each one of them asorbed the energy and shot it back at Tim for double.Tim used Lifeup Gamma, and 4 more Randites joined the battle.
Finally, Evil Mani Mani struck the deciding blow, diamondizing Tim. Three Randites picked up Tim's unconsious body, and took it to a Ranidte prison, located Northeast of Toto.
Holy s---, something actually happened in a Liyoshi post!
By now, no one who's been in the Gathering for any length of time is going to attempt to rescue Tim, because they know exactly what's coming if they make the mistake of going anywhere near a Liyoshi plotline. Unless someone new and naive jumps in, I give Liyoshi about a day's worth of waiting before he gives up and returns to his usual self-pleasuring.