Posts #246-250: 17 April 2000

Post #246, by Pikachu3164

After riding on the Merry Go Round, Pikachu decided to check out what kind of games this place had. He roamed around the park, looking for a decent game.
all of a sudden, Pikachu found the perfect prize, at a not so perfect game.
The prize was a giant stuffed Bowser. Pikachu has a wierd obsession with stuffed Bowsers.

Pikachu has a lot of weird obsessions.

Pikachu immediatly went crazy. [I have to win i! I have to!]

...went crazy?

*cough*

Unfortunatly for him, it was the throw the ball and knock over the pins. And if your arms are an inch long, throwing balls is not an easy thing.
But, Pikachu handed over the dollar for four tries anyways, and started playing.

Thirty dollars later...
[Okay! I know I'll get it this time! Oh no! The play meeting is starting!]
Pikachu quickly threw the ball away, because he really wanted to get a part in the play.
"Little rat thingy, you just won."

I can think of no more appropriate way to address 3164 than 'Little rat thingy'. Done and done.

Pikachu stopped quickly, ran back to the game, and yelled, [Throw me the giant stuffed Bowser!]
"Here you go."

At the beach...
Pikachu is running toward the auditorium because he wants to secure a part on the play as an annoying little rat or something, when he sees 2 more Krakens appear.
[Yea. Now I have to beat two Krakens all by myself.]
Pikachu quickly scanned the horizon for help, but Tim, Mystery Man, and the Mr. Saturn had already left.
Pikachu got ready to charge a Spark, but hid his Bowser real quick so it wouldn't be damaged.
"PIKA!"
Both of the Krakens were blasted with a blast of electricity which really didn't hurt them as much as he had hoped for.
Then, the Krakens decided to use a Crashing Boom Bang attack. Pikachu was sent flying.

... by an electric attack? Shouldn't that heal you? Or, if we're applying pokemon physics, not be very effective.

Pikachu recovered quickly and went flying at the Krakens with a Thundershock, but it seemed that it didn't work.
Then, Pikachu got an idea. [If I try a Thunder Jolt, it may be enough to defeat them, but there's the chance that I may hurt myself...]
The Krakens were ready for another Crashing Boom Bang, so Pikachu quickly made up his mind that he'd use a Thunder Jolt.

Krakens, at least in Tim's mind, are very similar to pokemon's Gyarados, against whom any electric attack is a W4 of electric death. He should be able to wipe them clean. (Of course, in EarthBound, there's no such thing as a weakness to Thunder.) "

PIKACHU!" Pikachu used the Thunder Jolt, and would have killed the Krakens, but unfortunatly, their Guts kept them alive.

That doesn't happen for enemies. They don't have rolling HP meters.

Then, because of the electricity level, the energy level in Pikachu began soaring. Pikachu had hurt himself!
[Oww...]

So, basically, Krakens are on a rampage and a Pikachu is in the bushes, unconscious.
So... Anyone gonna save him? No? Didn't think so.

God, I hope not.

[This message has been edited by Pikachu3164 (edited 04-17-2000).]

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Post #247, by SirMontyG

*Squirt* *Squirt*

[what the?]

Pikachu felt a soft spray on his forehead,

Um...........

..............

Um.......................

.......let's move on.

looking up he saw Sir showering him with a super potion.
"here ya go chu, I owe'd ya one. Now get back up and take out those krakens!"

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Post #248, by Chris

Just when he thought his idea had collapsed, people started supporting his idea for a play. Thus, when the second meeting began, there were a few more people there than there had been an hour before.

Fewer, actually, but whatever delusion keeps you happy, just run with it, man. That's the real courage.

"Okay, people, here's what's gonna happen.

I can think of no greater bliss
than taking my orders from Chris

Day after tomorrow, we're going to being doing a play. However, this won't be just any play. I take it all of you are familiar with the style of writing know as Interactive Fiction?"

Never heard of it. Explain it to me.

All of the audience nodded.

"Good. Now, this may be difficult, and I'm no drama coordinater,

ROFL

Chris, as we are going to see in astounding fashion, you are an amazing coordinator of drama.

but I might as well give it a try. I'll get up on the stage and start the story, and then each of you will join in. We'll bring a bunch of varying costumes and such, but the plot will be up to the person on the stage. Now, each person will have five minutes to tell a part of the story. Then, another person will come up and continue. We'll keep doing this until we reach a conclusion, or until we're drowning under the mountain of fresh vegetables thrown at us.

I wasn't planning on wasting fresh vegetables on this, actually.

"Now, then, obviously, without a plot, we can't really rehearse this, now can we? Instead, I want everyone to start coming up with ideas about how the basic plot will go. All those that seriously want to participate, meet me on the beach in half an hour. This concludes this meeting."

It's going to be funny when two people show up and Juliana isn't one of them. But then, are they on speaking terms right now?

With that, everyone filed out. Chris left to go to the beach and start planning things, and also to make a formal announcement about the play, two nights away from happening. In the meantime, elsewhere on the island...

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Post #249, by Tengu Man/Makron

(Um, just to note: after you post, please LOOK at your post in the IF to make sure it doesn't possibly conflict with another person's post they may have done while you where posting as well. I posted about 10 mintues before Pika did, and he didn't check my post.)

Tengu liked to play pretend that he was a moderator.

Suddenly a mysterious figure jumped in to the battle.

Mystery Man unsheathes a double-bladed lightsaber and attacks Kraken!
1678 HP of damage to Kraken A. Kraken A was beaten.
Kraken B breathed flames.
12 HP of damage to Mystery Man.
Two more, smaller figures jump in.
Mysterious creature A used PSI BoIng!
1243 HP of damage to Kraken B. Kraken B was beaten.

Yep, that's, uh... that's great, Tengu. Good work. We were really worried for a minute there.

"Hey, thanks." Tim said.

"No prob... can't stay though..."

"Wait... who are you?"

"I can't reveal MYSELF yet, but I will reveal these creatures beside me." the man showed him, and then left.

"It... can't be..." Tim gasped at the creature. It was a Mr. Saturn... a REAL one... somehow, he could tell.

If an individual Mr. Saturn is anywhere near strong enough to one-hit KO a Kraken, they've got some explaining to do over the whole getting enslaved by Master Belch thing.

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Post #250, by Luna

Luna was sitting in the back row, trying desperatly to think up a plot.

I think that's what we're all doing right now. We should actually be thankful Tengu bailed us out.

"augh... I can act and sing, but plots just arn't my thing!...hey! that rhymes!"
"BoInG?"
Luna turned around, alerted by the strange noise, and came face-to-face with a Mr. Saturn.
"GWAAAAH!!!!" Luna screamed
"YIEEEE!!!!" the Mr. Saturn screamed

I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream - by Mr. Saturn.

Everyone in the audotorium turned around and blinked at Luna.
"A Mr. Saturn! A REAL Mr. Saturn!" Luna gaped
"BoInG?? cOuRsE rEaL! wHy NoT?"
"We... just.. don't... see many of your kind... around here..." Luna said, blinking with disbelief.

You know, Tengu's idea might have died on the vine, but Luna running with it affords it instant credibility. Which, despite how it's going to allow Tengu to wrap his tentacles around this thread, is a good thing, the way the last 100 posts have gone.

Posts #241-245: 17 April 2000

Post #241, by waffle

Waffle walked out of the auditorium,where he had been for the meeting. Looking around,he noticed everybody was at the park,on rides,and playing games. He knew there wasn't much time until the talent show,so he didn't get involved in any rides.

I'm afraid you're not keeping up. By popular demand, the talent show has been taken behind the barn and shot.

He just walked over to a game where you need to knock over bottles.

For the record, this annotator is money in this game. A lot of these places now have a rule that you can only win three times or five times and then you're shut off for the day. That's the Baron von Awesome rule. Otherwise I could put these places out of business in one 60-minute blaze of 90 MPH glory.

Hint: The bottles are not precisely where they appear to your poor easily deceived eyes to be.

He picked up a ball and looked at the bottles some feet away. Well,I might as well try,he thought. He then looked over at the prizes....OOooooOo! "I really wanna win now!" He threw the ball and the bottles fell to the ground after being hit. "Hmm... I always used to stink at that game,too..."

"Hi, I'm waffle, and reading Baron von Awesome's annotations changed my life!"

"Yeah! Yeah Pick a prize!" Waffle looked at the prizes and spotted a stuffed cow with little sunglasses on. "Sweet!" He took it and went down to the talent show

I can't help but wonder what made him decide to go with a stuffed cow.

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Post #242, by Mani Mani

Mani headed over to the auditorium after Chris had made the play announcement to speak with him about it.
"Hey, I would've come to the meeting, but I...err...I kinda overslept. Anyway, are you sure you don't just wanna make it a talent show? I can sing pretty well..." But Chris seemed to be sure.

Converting Chris to a Tenguling just is not going to work, brilliant as the idea might be. He knows where PSI322 and Evil Overlord guruzeth stand on Tengu.

"Well, all right. I'd be willing to help with the play! Is that all right?" As she waited for his answer, Mani hoped he'd say yes. After all, she had been one of the lead roles in the school play they'd done in February, a sort of take-off of the Princess and the Pea. She probably couldn't act quite as well as she could sing, but that was okay.

This annotator has played Macbeth, the evil king in Hamlet, and the lead role in a schoolwide musical, but you don't hear him bragging about it.

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Post #243, by SirMontyG

"Chris! Chris!"
A distant call was heard, Chris turning around sees a rushing silouete rise over a near-by hill. "Are you Chris?" The odd looking teen asked.
"Yesss.." He replyed hesantly
"I heard you over the PA, I'd really like to be a part of that improv play idea you've got, sounds cool. Can I get in?"

If you're keeping count (and I know you are), that's five typos/misspellings, and five other grammatical mistakes, in about 35 words.

And with that, Chris responds.. (it's hard not speaking for other people)

Perhaps you should sign up for "Railroading Everyone Else's AC's Without Mercy 101", taught by Tengu Man.

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Post #244, by Luna

After the Carousel ride, Luna headed over to the audotorium. She hoped for some kind of part. After all, she HAD played The 2nd pig in the french version of the 3 little pigs... AND she could sing reletivly well! What more could she ask for?

Spelling. She could ask to not fail quite so hard at spelling.

"A lot." Luna grumbled to herself, and detaching the water snake from where it was biting her leg and throwing it into a little river.
"You'll be happy there. Go play with all your other little water-snakey friends... just stop biting me!" she grumbled at the snake before running off.

The surface of her leg(s) must be mostly bite marks by now.

"I dunno HOW he keeps finding me either... I gotta look that snake up in a book later..."

I'd go with:

1. Kill snake with fire
2. Look snake up in book

But that's just me.

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Post 245, by Little Yoshi

Tim decided to get on the log flume ride. It was great! He decided to ride again, and still loved the drop. He also liked the idea about the cars being Tessies.

That does sound cool.

After that, he decided to see Chris, and suggest that perhaps the play be themed around Earthbound, the War Against Giygas.

I'm sure that had never occurred to him before. At this convention of EarthBound fans from an EarthBound website.

Yes/no/I'll think about it was Chris's reply.(only for Chris to decide).
All of a sudden, two Krakens emerged from the sea near the amusment park. Praying people would help him in this battle, Tim quickly got into his boat and engaged them.

He is not going to let this go until someone finally agrees to keep him company.

Before the battle began though, Tim linked the EB boss battle theme(battle with Carpainter, Mani Mani Statue, etc.) to the main speakers.

That is easily the sweetest battle music in EarthBound. It's used in precisely five boss fights: Starman Junior, Mr. Carpainter, Evil Mani-Mani, Clumsy Robot, and Ness's Nightmare.

Then, the world became a dark swirl.
Tim used PSI Super Shield Omega on the theme park.
"This may not last long, so we need to defeat them quickly!" Tim shouted.
Kraken used a Crashing boom Bang attack!
It didn't hit anyone!
The Super Shield made the Thunder disappear!
Kraken used a Crashing Boom Bang attack!
The Super shield made the Thunder disappear!
The Super Shield made the Thunder disappear!
Tim used Leap Slash!
314 HP of damage to Kraken B!
(join in if you wish...please!)

Why? You and your AC God Mode seem to be handling the Krakens just fine. Plus, you're annoying. Not seeing a positive angle for me in your plan.

Posts #236-240: 17 April 2000

Post #236, by Tengu Man/Makron

(Pika, Mani's a GIRL, not a guy, so please edit that when you get a chance.)

Standard. Tengu ALWAYS did this. It's a perfect sample of his control-freak, obsessive personality.

The referee had found himself in a large valley near a waterfall. The inhabitants where rather interesting,

Were.

frog and crocodiles where all over as he walked northwards. He discovered a cave and went on in...

This might be the shortest post of Tengu's IF career, not counting posts consisting solely of him yelling at somebody OOC. No idea what was up with that...

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Post #237, by Luna

Luna rolled over in her bed. "hrmff... I felt like I've slept half the day awa... AHHHH!!! It's 12 already!!!" She screamed, jumping out of bed and changing into her beach clothes. "I can NOT believe I slept in this late!" she said looking down to see that her friend the water snake had re-attached itself to her leg. "y'know, you're getting really annoying, little buddy..."

If you're not careful around here, that's not the only thing that'll.... you know what? Never mind.

She ran out of her hotel room, and since she'd missed the meeting in the audotorium, so she grabbed a snack from the lobby and ran towards the amusement park. I can explore the island tomorrow, Luna thought to herself as she jumped on the carousel. Ever since she was little, Luna had loved carousels, and that hadn't changed.

I keep telling you, these girls have excellent taste in many things.

"I'm acting like such a little kid..." she mumbled to herself, and then saw Juliana sitting on the horse in front of her.

Luna, you were 12 when you wrote this. You were a little kid.

"Guess I'm not the only one..." she grinned to herself.

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Post #238, by Earth Bound Ranger

As far as Mark could tell, the talent show had gone compleatly insane. No script, form, or structure, and this talent show was almost impossible.

As far as this annotator can tell, it was stupid in the first place, so the AC's sabotaged it.

Then Mark remembered how much he wanted to show everyone his skills and decided to become a member on the talent show commitie.

This is something called 'self-insecurity', and it's most commonly caused by being subconsciously aware that you don't have any skills but desperately wanting people to think you're cool.

But the question still stood, Would the talent show ever run like it was sopposed to, or would it flop like a foppy getting hit with a baseball bat...

Should I slow down? You don't seem to be keeping up with the conversation here.

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Post #239, by Pikachu3164

(Hey, thanks Tengu. I'm so used to writing him and he for everything here, seeing as almost everyone here is a guy...)

Yes, that is wise. PSI322 and Luna are bona fide females; everyone else claiming to be a female (in this case, Mani Mani and Queen Catherine) very likely is not. But god forbid we should incur the wrath of Tengu.

Obviously, 3164 is thrilled that someone talked to him, even if it was to rebuke him. Him and Tengu are going to make great pals.

Pikachu, getting a little bored of waiting to see who would be in the play, ran out and decided to go to the amusement park.

I think pretty much every author has now expressed lack of interest in Chris's talent show, including his brother and hopefully-potential-girlfriend.

[Hey! A merry-go-round! I haven't rode in one of those since I was like, 2! Pikachu jumped on the first horse he saw, seeing as he had nothing better to do with his time.

Q. How long do pikachu live, anyway?
A. On the SM.Net forums, not very long.

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Post #240, by Mog116

Mog walked to the Meeting. Mog pulled a whistle outta' his duffel bag and blew hard. his two clones, one that was looking for people to help with the ships, the other that was pplaying PQ with Drew, came flying back. The Mog that blew the whistle was the one that talked to Jenny last night. "Nice to see ya'" The three mogs became blurry, and in a flash, there was only one Mog. He went inside to help with the play.

Dammit, kid, don't give Tengu any ideas.

Posts #231-235: 17 April 2000

Post #231, by PSI322

Juliana had returned to her room after seeing the display put on by two large crafts in the ocean that appeared to be approaching the island, or something to that effect.

I LOL'd at her droll way of expressing that she really doesn't care.

She listened to Chris's announcement regarding the upcoming talent show and wondered whether or not she should enter it. She glanced down at her watch. She'd have to make her decision now, since it was imperative that all contestants attend the meeting which wasn't too long from now.

Oh, wow! A PSI322 grammatical boo-boo. You see those about as often as you see Halley's Comet.

Juliana pondered this for a few minutes as she sat at the edge of her bed combing her brown hair. Her only real talent was writing, and that wasn't exactly performance material; she knew that.

Compared to this crew, you're William f---ing Shakespeare. On quaaludes.

She'd danced for seven years, but she didn't feel like getting back into ballet at the moment, at least not for a show in front of all her friends. Juliana knew she could sing fairly well, but still, the whole idea of singing in front of everyone made her more than a little nervous.

It shouldn't. She could really sing.

After careful consideration, she decided not to enter the talent show; after all, wouldn't it be more fun to sit in the audience and watch all the acts on the night of the show? Juliana finished combing her hair, looked in the mirror, and smiled to herself. That's exactly what she'd do.

At this rate, PP/QC or NessJeff or somebody's going to end up taking first prize with their amazing display of eating a whole box of ding-dongs, being the only entrant.

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Post #232, by Little Yoshi

Tim finished repairing his boat, he decided not to participate in the talent show.

Another one bites the dust!

What talents did he have? Playing video games?

Man, there is no end to the self-flagellation of young-teenage nerds.

Not something I always see at a talent show.

You'd be surprised how little talent is observable in your average talent show. Mostly because, as the Joker so astutely observed, if you're good at something, never do it for free.

So, he went inside and grabbed some lunch, then decided to ride over to the amusment park to see what had happened there since his accident.

Give Tim credit for getting off his ass and doing something to try and avert this talent show nonsense nobody except Chris has any interest in.

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Post #233, by Chris

Chris glanced at his watch. The meeting was supposed to have started five minutes ago, and their were maybe a dozen people in the auditorium.

That's because there are only about a dozen writers in the story, Chris. And if they were all in the auditorium, that would be damn impressive since not a single goddamned one of them wants anything to do with this stupid-ass talent show.

Preparing to improvise and try to make this a success, he stepped up to the microphone.

NOBODY BUT YOU WANTS THIS TO BE A SUCCESS. IF YOU WANT TO IMPRESS JULIANA WITH WHATEVER TALENTS YOU HAVE, YOU CAN DO THAT WITHOUT DRAGGING EVERYONE ELSE INTO IT.

"Hello again everyone. I hope everyone enjoyed what we did yesterday. Now, regarding the talent show: as you can see from looking around, we don't exactly have a big turnout. Before I go any further, I'm gonna take a quick poll: should we have the talent show, or not?"

Most everyone voted yes.

No. No, I'm almost certain that if you actually took a poll, everyone would vote no. This is why you forced them to vote yes.

"Well, that's settled. We'll hold the talent show. Though, instead of a talent show, it'll be more of something else. A play-sort of thing. In fact, that might draw more people here. Lemme go make an announcement, and we'll return to this meeting in about an hour."

Oh god. That's even stupider than the talent show. Just quit before you embarrass yourself so badly you wind up wearing a paper bag over your head for the rest of your adolescence.

While everyone else left, Chris went over to the P.A. system and made the announcement about the play that he would hold in two days, without a script, without a cast, without even an idea...

I'm going to go way out on a limb and guess that play won't be happening.

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Post #234, by NessJeff

Mog is getting a strong whippin'!

It's his own fault for being stupid enough to take your bait.

"I'm down to just my level 6005 Mog..."
"You're better than I thought. You got me down to just Paula and Sora/Biyomon with level 500 guys."
"Naturally."
"Paula! Slash with that sword that I blatantly stole from WotO!"

I have not a foggy clue what a WotO is.

"Oh, crud..."
Mog down to half HP!
"Dance! Dusk Requiem!"
"Owwwww... Elf Fire's good. My turn. Paula, PSI Digimon summon HerculesKabuterimon ø!"
*(Music in game) Giga Scissor Claw!"

Um... yeah.

"Crud..."
Drew won!
Just then, Drew(character) grew to lv. 78798!
IQ grew to 90000!(This'd work in the game!)

If Mog116 has any intelligence at all, he'll cut his losses and totally ignore this post, and NessJeff in general.

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Post #235, by PSI322

Juliana went downstairs to grab a sandwich and a Diet Coke for lunch in the dining area.

For the record, Diet Coke is pretty much the most toxic substance in existence.

After all, she had missed breakfast, so she was fairly hungry. Everyone seemed to be talking about the controversy surrounding the accident at the new amusement park, so Juliana decided to stroll on over and check it out.

This should kill the talent show business, at least. Juliana doesn't want anything to do with it.

When she arrived at the park, she wasn't surprised to see that the roller coaster was temporarily closed for repairs; that was the ride that the accident had happened on, wasn't it?

Yeah... 'accident'.

*cough*

Juliana walked through the park at a lazy pace, looking at all the rides and all the Starmen.Netters, acting like children as they laughed and shouted from the various amusement park attractions.

Well.... they are children.

Deciding to join in the fun, Juliana went over and stepped up to the carousel. She chose a tall, old-fashioned looking merry-go-round horse that was painted a pale shade of lavender and climbed up into the saddle to wait for the ride to begin...

Good choice. Carousels rule.

This annotator gets horribly motion sick, and therefore is pretty much limited to the carousel, the ferris wheel and the Scrambler at any amusement park. Nevertheless... those are three awesome rides right there, and this annotator can easily spend all day at just them.

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Posts #226-230: 17 April 2000

Post #226, by Queen Catherine

I ran back into my hotel room and changed into my outfit that I wore yesterday (A white t-shirt with a dark green bikini underneath and jean shorts) and left the hotel.

Yes... you have already mentioned a few times what your, um, talent is.

I found Matt and told him about the Talent show.
"I don't know if I should be in." I said. "I really don't have a talent to perform or show other than in writing, running, and fan fics."

If you consider writing your talent, you might want to start scouting overpasses and stake your claim to one that looks nice, before some other hobo beats you to it. Was that too rude?

That's the problem with good advice: no one wants to hear it.

"I could probably do a performance with fire or something." Matt said. "I planned to put on a fireworks show, but it's too early to do it."
Then I discussed about a mysterious ship that I saw earlier this morning.
"Great." Matt said sarcastically. "It sounds like the US navy might assist the FBI after all. We better go into hiding or something. By the way, have you played Paula's Quest?"
"No, not really. I just stay back and watch."
"Not interested in videogames? That's odd hearing that from you. You're the first girl I've met who likes videogames."

Makes sense, since 'she' is a figment of your imagination and all.

Girls that play video games are much, much more common now than they were in 2000, when it was still pretty much unheard of.

"I guess I really am busy with other stuff."
"Oh? Anyway, I'll think about that talent show. I might just put on a comedy or something. I'll catch you later."

I'm sure it'll be a scream.

I said farewell to Matt and headed down the snackbar. I grabbed myself a chocolate Milkshake, and then...

Is 'Milkshake' a brand name now?

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Post #227, by SuperSpeedy/Mankey Boy

Upon hearing of the meeting, Dave hopped on Poryhedron and had him Tackle to the auditorium.
"But, Dave!" said Poryhedron. "I found a TM to teach me Blizzard. Team Rocket had to hack into my internal programming to teach me Bubblebeam. I want to learn something through a TM! Don't you want a snowball fight here?"
"Good point," said Dave, "but make it quick!"

• Poryhedron activivated the TM, and learned Blizzard!
• David hopped on Poryhedron, and crashed through the wall section above the door.

(I'll be on Poryhedron, who'll be floating above the floor, high enough so I'll won't bump my head, but no one will be in the way of my view.)

I'm mildly surprised PSI322 hasn't dropped the One AC Per Thread cane on SS/MB yet, but I'm shocked Tengu hasn't sought to exploit it yet.

[This message has been edited by SuperSpeedy/ Mankey Boy (edited 04-17-2000).]

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Post #228, by Mog116

How do you get so many posts during school time? )

Lots of schools had internet capability, Mog.

Mog was walking around outside. He heard some explosions, so he turned left. An aerial ship and a Naval boat were shooting at each other.

Heh. A 'Naval boat'. Maybe this is the Canadian Navy.

Mog suddenly realized he was bored stiff and there was a perfectly good fight going on.

I think pretty much everyone is realizing that right about now. Have you noticed how many writers have been, in one way or another, complaining about being bored lately?

He reached for his hover board, but was surprised when it wasn't there. Mog suddenly spaced out and remembered the whole "Moogle Magic White incident". He reached back in his duffel bag and pulled out a flame thrower. He strapped it on and made a flying leap off the dock. I mean FLYING. he hovered in the air and suddenly bolted off on the Airship. He ran down to find someone he didn't know. "Do you have a radio?" "Yeah."

As opposed to, "Seize the intruder!" like a sensible airship captain would say.

Chris handed Mog the radio, and Mog pushed several buttons. "Hello, you have reached Zapple's pad, Zapple speaking." "Send Gull Wing to these coirdinates." "Kay-o." Mog ran back up to the deck, waiting for his airship, which looked like a giant Mechanical bird. When He saw it, he jumped for it and just avoided a bomb the navy sent after him.

A... bomb. From below.

Mog flew Gull Wing to the apartments, and hovered on the fourth floor. He tapped a window, wanting someone to answer to help steer his ship.
______ came to the window. (Fill in the blank with your name.

Thanks for the advice. I wasn't sure what to do with that blank.

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Post #229, by Pikachu3164

Pikachu had told Mani last night that he would gladly be her friend, and told Sir that his apology was accepted.
So, now he's looking for other people to be friends with, and stuff like that.

Oh, for f---'s sake. If you don't have anything half meaningful to write, then the door's on your left.

[Should I be in the talent show? I have no real talent.... I'll go to the meeting anyways and watch people. That should be fun.]

That is true. You have no real talent, because instead of developing a skill doing something, you sit around feeling sorry for yourself and trying to play on other people's pity. In about ten years, you will find no one has any pity for you anymore, and you will either kill or heavily medicate yourself to cope.

[This message has been edited by Pikachu3164 (edited 04-17-2000).]

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Post #230, by Little Yoshi

"Sorry if you heard me wrong, I said I'd be a diplomat for Eagleland," Tim said,"No way I'm gonna open fire on the U.S....not yet, anyways, so-"

Your brother probably has that diplomat thing handled. Just a wild guess. It would be better if you blew the s--- out of that ship so we can move on with our lives, though.

Kraken used a Crashing Bomm Bang attack!
Tim took 214 HP of damage!

The Franklin Badge can't block a Crashing Bomm Bang attack. That is one clever Kraken he's dealing with.

It didn't hit anyone!
Tim used Leap Slash!
SMAAAAAAAAASH! 314 HP of mortal damage to Kraken!

Wait... it didn't SMAAAAASH last time, and it did like twice as much damage.

Kraken used Lifeup B!

Beta.

Kraken recovered 314 HP!
Tim used Leap Slash!

How original.

Just missed!
Kraken emmited a pale green light! The efeects of PSI are gone on Kraken!

But the effects of PSI will never be gone on Chris.

Tim used PSI Offense down, Defense up!

Now you're cheating! There is no such spell, and you can't take two turns at once. Cheater.

Kraken's Offense fell!
Tim's Defense rose!
Kraken breathed fire!
Tim's flame shield made the fire disappear!

Um... flame shield. Yeah. I don't even know what game he stole that from. You can tell he's about to hand Kraken his ass now; AC God Mode is now fully engaged.

Tim's shield disappeared!
Tim used Leap Slash!
273 HP of damage to Kraken!
The Kraken was defeated!
"Whew! What a fight!" Tim said

Yes, that was a thrilling fight. I was on the edge of my seat, wondering whether or not an AC would get killed by a random encounter.

Tim returned to the dock to repair his ship.
He also wondered why no one helped him in that fight, but decided that they just didn't have time to save someone else's life.

That's more pleasant than 'they don't give a rat's ass about Tim', however closer to the truth that might be.

Posts #221-225: 17 April 2000

Post #221, by PSI322

Once a repair crew had been sent to work on the elevator, Juliana thanked her kind and brave rescuer and set off on her own again.

That is: Juliana left treadmarks getting the hell away from PP/QC.

As she strolled through the elegant lobby, Juliana wondered what she'd be up to that day. She decided to go outside for a little while to see how the weather was; Juliana hoped that the sun was shining.

As she stepped outside, Juliana noticed all of the sand castles from last night's contest still standing triumphantly on the beach.

Must have had MacGyver go out and fire them until they were pure glass, for them to withstand the tide.

Some of them had been wrecked or swallowed by the sea, but the one that she had built with Chris was still there. A faded blue ribbon hung from one of the castle's six towers; that was the ribbon that signified them as the first place winners in the contest. Juliana walked along the beach casually as if she were walking through the ruins of some royal city, watching the waves lapping at the shore of Eagleland Island.

Just then, she noticed some sort of craft off the shore of the island. It was fairly far away but still clearly visible. Juliana wondered if she was the only one who had seen this ship; of course, she wasn't, but she didn't know that at the time. Juliana backed away from the shoreline and looked around for someone to talk to about this...

Your cue, Chris!

---

Post #222, by Warrior of the Eye

Tenguling alert! Tengu's starting to move in on this story, preparing to pounce. WotE will be around to the end, I think.

It was then that she noticed another craft show up ABOVE the first one. The new craft opened fire on the first one!
*Out in the Pacific*
Chris (better known as Warrior of the Eye) had finally gotten a chance to head for the gathering, when he head that the FBI was about to storm the island. So, he had built a FF4 style airship, and put togther a small army, and opened fire on the American Vessal.

Because everyone wants to join WotE's army. For Paula's glory!

"Sir, when should we begin boarding?" The first mate asked.
"Begin now," Chris cooly replied. "Try not to take too many lives, just disable them."
Chris then went to the radio room and tried to contact any SM.net vessels. He only got one response, for Tim, who agreed to help as much as he could...

On the bright side, this should make a quick end of the FBI crap. As you all know, the FBI is always engaging in amphibious assaults on anyone it deems undesirable, even if they're a bunch of 13 year olds with no military.

---

Post #223, by Dr. Andonuts

(Wow, your comp gets screwed up for 3 days are there are 3 pages worth of additional posts.)

Want to guess what happens when your comp gets screwed up for 3 months?

But then, it's my own damn fault (or more accurately, my poor naive mother's) for buying a Pionex brand PC at Sam's Club.

"Cool, more SSB," said Dr. Andonuts, while setting up his 32-player version. He left it alone for now and went off the EB and PQ tournament. He took cartriges from both games and scanned them with his computer. "Hmm," he muttered to himself, "If i change a couple of things there and a couple of things there, i'll end up with level 99999 characters. But that is a little too unethical. Ahh well, i guess i'll just go play more SSB."

Couldn't have said it better myself. Except by not saying anything myself, because the PQ thing is so stupid.

Dr. Andonuts went back to the SSB game and started playing as Captain Falcon.

---

Post #224, by Chris

Having finished breakfast, Chris left and went to the elevator to get something from his room. After waiting ten minutes for it to appear, he decided to climb the stairs. On the way, he saw Juliana, and she said something about a repair crew on the way. Chris continued on up to his room.

I don't know why the hell he bothered to write this. I guess as a way of saying 'fine, you want to ignore me, I'll ignore you too!'

From the window in his room, Chris saw what looked to be gunfire between an aerial vessel and a naval ship. Curious, but not overly concerned, Chris gathered up the remaning things he'd need for the day and left the room. This time, the elevator was working, and he reached toe lobby without any problems.

... toe lobby?

He's definitely giving a blah/sulking vibe here, isn't he? Or am I reading too much into it?

The first order of business today was to round up all the people who wanted to participate in the talent show and hold a meeting for them in the auditorium. Thus, he set off for the auditorium, walking along the beachfront boardwalk from the hotel to the main auditorium. Along the way, Chris found Jenny, and asked her if she wanted to participate in the talent show. She said she might, and he responded to be in the auditorium in about an hour if she was interested.

No heroic rescues this time, sadly.

When Chris arrived, he began setting up the auditorium, and made an announcement over the P.A. system that covered most of the explored area of the island that there would be a meeting just under an hour from now. He finished setting up and sat in a chair on the elevated speaking platform, waiting for everyone else to arrive.

I love the elevated speaking platform where Chris sits. Just as a reminder that he's better than you.

---

Post #225, by Dr. Andonuts

Dr. Andonuts considered which was more important, his SSB game or the meeting. He finally decided on the meeting and rushed there to get a front-row seat. He sat down and played with his palmtop while waiting for more people to come.

FIRST! FIRST!

Posts #216-220: 17 April 2000

Post #216, by PsycoPyro

I contiued to talked with my gf over the Internet. I wished to use the phone to communicate with her, but where was a phone around?
Then, I heard a bang on my door.
((On AOL IMs))
****: Brb Julie
******: Alright.

I left the laptop and came to the door. It was Jenny and Mog standing at the doorway.
"Matt, we need to talk." Jenny said with deep seriousness in the tone of her voice.
I allowed them to come into my room. My room was trashed up, with clothes that were thrown onto chairs.
"Excuse the mess." I said sheepishly as I sat on the edge of my bed near the laptop. "So what's up?"
"My dad..." she started to say, "he's crazy. He told me that they're going to have the FBI come drag us home."

Other than the continuing FBI absurdity, this is actually not a bad start to a post. I'm sure PP/QC will stop letting us down soon and get back to unintentional comedy.

"But this island doesn't belong to the American Government. They can't drag evryone home. The choice was free will."
"Have you been watching the news lately?" Mog asked me as I picked up a TV remote and turned it on. I watched a news report on our disappearance and how the FBI will track us down like hounds.

Sure they will.

"This is a bunch of Bull." I growled.

Preach it, brother!

"Actually, I don't really care if they do drag me home or not! Besides, I want to see my gf that's back home whose waiting and crying over me."

Don't let the door hit you in the ass on your way out. You need me to buy you a plane ticket?

Jenny and Mog seemed stunned of my opinion.
"So you are going home?" Mog asked.
"Why don't you have your GF over here?"
"She's not a SM.Net member, nor does she even like EB! I doubt that I can drag her over here now since we have a crisis to deal with now! I hate the American Government!"

It hates you too.

"Fine Matt!" Jenny said angrily as she turned away. "You decided if you want to leave or not. I'm staying here."
"And leave all of your friends back home?" I asked her. "Would that be the right thing to do to leave them and never return even if you had a choice to?"

F--- yeah. Why do you think we're writing IF in the first place? To get away from those so-called 'friends'.

"I don't care. They all betrayed me and went on My EX's side. He converted them to their side. Why go back and face the pain again when I have a place when I don't have to feel that pain?"

ROFL@#&%$

I knew PP/QC would deliver the goods. I swear, I didn't even read that before I wrote the annotation immediately above it.

With that, Jenny stormed out of my room, with Mog following her.

---

Post #217, by Gauntlet Wizard

Meanwhile, Siris was waking up late again. It was already 9 AM (that's late for me) when Siris awoke in the hotel bed.

Nobody likes a braggart.

9 AM is late for me, too, in the sense that I usually don't go to bed for another hour or so after that.

Mac had shared a room with him that night and was already gone.

Good god, man. We do not want to hear about that.

Siris dressed in the same clothes he was wearing yesterday, and went into the hall. A man was waiting there.
"I'm here to read you today's headline! SM.net gathering continues today!"

That is a pretty funny EarthBound tradition, someone reading you a newspaper headline whenever you stay in a hotel. Who thought that up, and how? 'I'm not going to give you a newspaper... but I'll read the headline to you. No, you may not look at it!'

"Alright," Siris said. "I knew that."
Just then, Siris remembered something. "Holy smoke! The tide shield...!" Siris rushed to the beach. Fortunately, the tide hadn't come in too far...

Siris was extremely bored and decided to play Super Smash Bros. for a while...

Little bit of a stream of consciousness here.

---

Post #218, by Queen Catherine

After the talk with Matt, I angrily went back to my room and said good-night. I was angry at what Matt had said, but I didn't blame him for wanting to be with his girl. I went to bed and tried to sleep.

Then hours later, I awoke at 9 AM. It was time for my daily exercises and I dragged myself out of bed. I hanged the green Kimono up in the closet, and slipped on my running shoes, light-weight shors and a tanktop. Fpr a few minutes, I did some stretches in my room and left the hotel to run for a mile and a half around the island.

The island is probably more than 1.5 miles in circumference.

As I ran, I stopped and turned to burn some muscles at the beach. I clumsy ran on the sand. People wondered what the heck I was doing. Then at the corner of my eye, I spotted a dark grey speck that was far from Eagleland Island. The seemed to be a heavily-armed vessel of some sort...

PP/QC is beginning to agitate for some violence in every post, even dropping a hint two posts above that he's thinking about leaving the story if something doesn't happen soon.

---

Post #219, by PSI322

It was around this time that Juliana finally emerged from her hotel room. Though she had a habit of rising each morning at about six o'clock,

Braggart! Braggart!

Juliana had been upstairs in her room, awake, for a long time. After all, she was a poet,

Sheesh, it's yet another level in Braggart.*

* She actually was fairly skilled at writing poetry, in her defense.

and it seemed to her that poets always felt inspired to write poetry at the strangest times of day, somehow. She'd sat at the window for a long while with a spiral-bound notebook open in her lap and a pen in her hand, her favorite pen which wrote in periwinkle-colored ink.

Periwinkle... that's some kind of variation on light blue, right?

She watched the sunrise and captured it on the page.

It seemed like hours had passed when Juliana finally left her room and locked the door behind her. She glanced down at her watch. "Darn it, breakfast's over," she murmured, loosening the band on her wrist a little to make it more comfortable. "Oh well, I'll live." With that, she started down the hallway towards the elevator.

There are probably plenty of leftover peanut cheese bars.

Juliana stepped into the elevator a little apprehensively and watched the doors shut tight. She pressed the button labeled 'LOBBY' and felt the elevator start to take her down from the fourth floor, where her room was. She watched the numbers change as the elevator descended...third floor, second floor...one and three quarters, one and a half...one and a half...one and a half...

"Wait a second!" Juliana whispered aloud to herself. "This thing is stopped between the second and first floors...which means I'm trapped in the elevator...help!"

Or maybe it's just that the display gizmo is broken, and you've been standing on the ground floor the whole time. That's what I'd write if I posted after this.

This is a fairly inspired attempt by PSI to introduce some tension without introducing any violence; it was kind of a hobby back then to see how long one could drag out an IF thread before it dissolved into endless anarchy and warfare. Since I think 218 posts was already a record for any thread ever... yeah.

Then again, she could just be trapping herself in an elevator to keep Chris off her back for another ten seconds, hoping someone else jumps to her rescue before he does and pulls her into a different plotline. That would also be a savvy ploy.

---

Post #220, by PsycoPyro

I awoke that morning after I had slept. For the first time in a long time, I was able to sleep peacefully. I put on my Hawaiian shirt, my watch, and some baggy Jean before I left my room.
I went by next door to Jenny's. There was a sign on her door that read, "Off for a morning jog. I'll be back within an hour."
I glanced at my watch and it was 10 AM. I went over to the elevator and pushed the button. No noise was heard of it being operated. However, I heard a faint cry for help (I was on the 7th floor).
The elevator must be not working. I thought to myself. And someone's trapped.
"Who's trapped down there?!" I yelled at the top of my voice.
"I'm Juliana!" Someone shouted. "Known as 'PSI322'. I'm stuck!"

Actually, she's been quite specific, several times, that her AC is known only as 'Juliana'.

"Alright! Just hold on and I'll help get you out!"
I ran back to my room, equipped my dagger and my swiss army knife from my duffle bag and ran back to the elevator.

MacGyver was busy rigging up more generators.

I pryed the elevator door wth my fingers and climbed the ladder down to the elevator shaft. This was just like the terrorists movie I watched and I knew what to do.

Also, he stayed in a Holiday Inn Express the night before last.

Finally, I jumped off and landed on top of the elevator shaft. There was an emergency escape door from the ceiling of the elevator shaft.

Yeah, about those. They're mighty convenient in movies, which is one important reason why they don't exist in most modern real-life elevators.

Juliana seemed glad and I extended an arm to help her up to the top of the shaft.

Insert double-entendre here. Assuming Chris didn't beat you to it.

"Where are you headed?" I asked her.
"To the Lobby." She replied.
I instructed her to follow me and I pryed the elevator doo open that was on the second floor.

For bloody hell's sake, kid, slow down and use your fonix, would you?

"Let's takes the stairway and get a repair crew on the elevator." I said as I and Juliana went down the stairwell and into the lobby.

That was almost certainly not who PSI was hoping would come to her rescue. She'll be pining away for Chris again in no time.

Posts #211-215: 16-17 April 2000

Post #211, by Mog116

"We keep running into each other, know that?" Mog was standing behind Jenny in the apartment hall. Jenny slammed the door shut in surprise. "What're you doing here!?" Jenny asked Mog. "Came to ask you if you called your parents yet." "I did! My dad went Crazy! They're gonna arrest us!" "They can't." "Your righ the can't! If the arrest us..." "If they arrest us they will go to jail themselves. When I called my mom a while back she bought the island. They can still kill us, but then our parents would kill them. My mom owns the Island, so we do to, but there is one way the can arrest us and that's for running away.

What the f---???

Your... mother owns the island.

.... yeah.

But they can't arrest me, because I called my mom 3 days ago. If you get arrested I can bail everyone out." All this didn't assure her, though, mainly because she couldn't understand Mog because he said it very, very fast, as though he had planned that to happen and rehearsed the whole thing.

Watching the posters each try to figure out a way to make themselves important makes me smile.

"Umm... They can still claim the name under America! There's a loophole in that law." Mog stared at the wall a while. "Oh... Oh No! You're right! We have to warn the others." Mog and Jenny headed to the speaker room that controlled every speaker on the Island.

He had to have been high as a kite when he wrote this.

---

Post #212, by Tengu Man/Makron

The mysterious referee had gone his way north a little, having barely any problems except for a few small snakes and some cattle in his way. He found a large desert and went inside.

You know he's a badass because he so easily handled all that cattle.

Also: ...went inside? A desert?

"Whatcha need?"

"To know where I am, really, and directions."

"This is the Dusty Dunes Desert. It's big and not very populated, but a lot of sunbathers like to come here. West of here is the city of Threek, and east of here is the city of Fourside."

Threek, as some of you probably know, is the truer transliteration from the original Japanese of what in EarthBound is called Threed. As his handle suggests, Tengu Man was an early pioneer of wannabe-Japaneseism, which swept the gaming-oriented portions of the internet like a tidal wave around 2004-2005.

The boy pondered this to himself, "I never doubted it could be possible... But maybe I should bring back proof." then he spoke out loud, "Thanks."

GEE, I WONDER WHO HE WILL CHOOSE TO BRING BACK AS PROOF.

(If you don't understand that bit of sarcasm, then you obviously have never read a Tengu Man post, or even heard anyone talk about Tengu Man, in your life, ever.)

He left and went west, towards Threek. When he got there, he looked around, noting the large yellow circus tent in the center of town, and the rather interesting graveyards north of the town. He then came up with an idea.

"I can bring of THEM back to the party..." he rushed northwards, a smile on his face...

Back at the party...

"Has anyone seen that mysterious referee?" Chris asked, "I wanted to thank him about the swim meet."

If you want to put money on that, I'm willing to bet Chris actually could not care less about the referee.

"Not lately, probably in his room." said someone else.

Two punctuation errors from Tengu there. It was his Achilles Heel.

He went up and knocked, but got no answer.

"Peculiar..."

The door then opened. Chris shrugged and went inside, hoping to find the mysterious referee. He didn;t see anything except an answering machine with a note on it.

You know, it's interesting that Chris is Tengu's chosen vessel here; Tengu is conspicuously avoiding even referencing PSI322. Those two had a rocky relationship, to put it kindly. I suppose this was one of those periods where Tengu and PSI got in some IF-related snit or another recently.

"If anyone cares where I am, check in on this answering machine. - The Referee."

"Why not?" Chris turned it on.

Almost all other posters would have ended their post at that point, allowing Chris to decide whether he cared or not, but Tengu would never do such a thing. Tengu foreordains what other AC's are going to do, which is why his posts are so long. And if you tried to do that to his AC, he would flip out.

The referee's voice came in loud and clear:

"Since you do care, I'll explain... If you came to thank me for the swim meet, your welcome, but I've come upon a big discovery.

Hinting at ESP, there. A subtle little 'I'm awesome'. Tengu was pretty good at this IF thing.

As you know, the Syndicate found this island for us, BUT... that doesn't mean this island was empty before that time. I've seen buildings and other structures here, like a ghost town. This has made me to believe that the continent already has some inhabitants, if not a platoon of 'em. Dare I say... we may have come upon THE biggest discovery in the midst of SM.net history, and even EB's history itself... More will come as I find out..."

See how important Tengu has made himself? Mog116 better be taking notes.

If Chris were smart, or if guruzeth were around, there would be a post right after this one saying 'actually, the Syndicate knew that all along.'

Chris began to ponder, but remembered he had other things he had to tend to, and left...

---

Post #213, by Little Yoshi

Tim quickly got the phone in his boat working.

A not-so-subtle way of saying, I don't need your stinkin' cell phone.

By the way, this remarks me of Item #139 That Irks Me in The Dark Knight*: You know the scene with the two ferries, right? Captain A notices that the radio isn't working. Then Captian B notices that his radio isn't working. They both just shrug helplessly and concede that there's simply no way to communicate with the other ship.

Why the hell didn't they use one of the 400 available cell phones?

Possible arguments, shot down:

(a) "There were no cell phones on the prisoners' boat." Bulls---. It would have been mandatory for at least a couple of the cops to carry one.
(b) "There wasn't reception out over the river." Also obviously wrong. You can't go anywhere in New York Gotham and not have crystal-clear cell reception.
(c) "The Joker somehow jammed the cell phone signals." That's basically the only semi-plausible explanation, but come on. The movie loses all kinds of credibility for not at least having a passing reference to someone trying a cell phone and saying 'no good, there's no signal!' Also, this is highly problematic since the Joker was using a cell phone to communicate with the passengers via the ships' intercoms (that's how Batman was able to figure out where he was), which one presumes would be impossible were the signal jammed.

Back to your regularly scheduled Gathering...

* Item #1 is Maggie Gyllenhall, and for good measure, Item #2 is Maggie Gyllenhall. Let's move on.

"Hello?" his mom said.
"Hi Mom, this is Tim!" I said.
"How's Eagland?" She asked.

Not sure if that's Tim's typo, or if he's cutely having good ol' ditzy Mom not knowing what the island's name actually is and misstating it. I'm going with the former, as the latter is semi-clever and therefore probably beyond Tim's grasp.

"It's great, though I've had to battle off monsters for the island," Tim said.

For The Island©!

"Monsters?! They weren't big ones, were they? Are you hurt?!" Mom replied.

Sheesh, Mom, I'm an AC. I have super-lasers.

"Don't worry Mom, I'm just fine...at this minute, but I've overheard something about that the FBI are going to drag us home," Tim said.
"Whew! You're okay! Now, about the FBI, I'll have Dad look over the laws about that."

I can't believe anyone's giving this load of FBI bulls--- the light of day.

"Well, Mom, I love you alot! Bye!"Tim said
"Bye!"Mom said. Tim waited. He never hung up on someone, he always waited for them to hang up first. Beep. Beep.

Haha. That's actually kind of interesting. I like reading about people's weird idiosyncrasies. I refuse to ever eat the last {piece of candy, cookie, potato chip crumbs, whatever}, even if it's something I love so much I considered marrying it, such as Junior Mints, on the theory I might really need it later, or someone else might want one later. Eventually it gets old and has to be discarded, but I've long since bought another package.

Tim hung up the phone, to see a Kraken looming overhead. Suddenly, the world around Tim became black, and he knew what that meant. An even battle!

I'm pretty sure Krakens don't fly. Like, almost positive.

Hey, you guys ready for an EarthBound clinic? I got one coming up right now!

Tim quickly fired defensive lasers.
32 HP of damage to Kraken!

Kraken has around 1000 HP. Tim's just getting warmed up.

Kraken emmited a pale green light!
It had no effect!
Tim fired his offensive laser!
123 HP of damage to Kraken!
Kraken breathed fire at you!

It's just 'Kraken breathed fire!'.

Tim's shield made the fire go away!

Kraken's fire breath has the same effect as PSI Fire Gamma, but is not blockable by any shield.

Tim equpped the Masamune instead, and slashed!
Just missed!
Kraken used a Crahing Boom Bang attack!
Tim's shield made the thunder disappear!

Unlike with PSI Thunder, no kind of shield can block the lightning from a Crashing Boom Bang or electrical shock attack. Tim should have referenced the Franklin Badge instead.

Tim's shield disappeared!
It didn't hit anyone!
Tim used Leap Slash!
352 HP of damage to Kraken!
Kraken breathed fire at you!
793 HP of damage to Tim!
"Thank goodness for my guts rating!" Tim said.
Tim used Lifeup y!

Gamma. It looks sort of like a little y.

Tim recovered 512 HP!

The result of Lifeup Gamma is always '[character]'s HP are maxed out!'

---

Post #214, by NessJeff

"Mog, this is a six on six battle. Select your best, I'll select my best. From my level 76779 or something like that."
"I'm dead, right."
"Not neccesarily. IF you can exploit weaknesses properly, you have a 1 in 647,768,868,567 chance of winning."

So why the hell would I bother playing? Do you think I, and/or all humanity, exist for the purpose of helping you feel like a winner?

"Never tell me the odds."

That quote's already been done. Like eleventy billion times. But most notably by QC/PP on this very thread.

"For my team I select, Paula! Sora/Biyomon(Digimon are considered attacks of the digidestined, by thebattle menu) Izzy/Motimon, CheeseLeoMon(Some are my own creation) Drew(Yes, I programmed me in. I am a weakling compared to Paula.)

ROFL

and Joe/Gomamon."
"Very well, I select..."

---

Post #215, by Superspeedy/Mankey Boy

Meanwhile, at David's and Poryhedron's hotel room:

• David called his dad, whose also named David at work.

"Hello. Cerlione's," said Lou, a worker at dad's store.

Based on that information, I could have tracked down SS/MB's identity, home address, etc. in like 5 minutes.

"Hello," said David.
"Hold on," said Lou.
{two minutes later.}
"Hello?" said Dave's dad.
"Hey, daddy!" said Dave.

In case you were wondering whether SS/MB's age was a two digit number. It was not.

"Monkey Boy!" exclaimed his Dad. (Monkey Boy is one of the many names dad calls me. Sometimes he calls me "Buddy!" or "Dudeio" (pronounced Dude-E-O))

That's heartwarming.

"Did you get home from school early?"
"No, dad!" said Dave. "I'm vacationing at Eagleland island. [whispering:]Keep that a secret."
"Eagleland?" said his Dad. "That sounds like the country from Earthbound."
"It's a secretly discovered country/island discovered by the so-called 'syndicate' of Starmen.net! Waffle, another EB fan from New Jersey, is here, as well as some weird Pikachu and a pokémon author character I made."
"Who? Which AC?"
"Poryhedron!"
"What's he, a Pikachu?"
"No. He's a Porygon: a pokémon made entirly of computer code!"
"Figures!"
"He can talk, too!"
"Do you mean he can say more then his name?"
"Yep!"
"Let me talk to him!"
"OK!" He turned to Poryhedron and said, "He wants to talk to you."
"Hi!" said Poryhedron into the phone. He was holding the phone up to his head using his PSI.
"You better protect my son." said Dave's Dad.
"I will," said Poryhedron.
"How long is this vacation?"
"About 5 days, since the start. And today ain't the first day!"
"Okay. Put my son back on the line."
Poryhedron floated the phone over to Dave, who grabbed it.
"Come home when it's over!" said Dave's dad.
"I will. Bye!" said Dave.
"Bye!" said his dad.

• Dave hung up the phone.

He's using the bullets to mimic EarthBound's text style, by the way.

"Come on, Poryhedron!" said Dave. "Let's find Waffle and Pikachu, and enjoy the sights and festivities."
"Okay!" said Poryhedron.

Sorry for the lack of annotation, but... I just really have no comment on this post. I'm just kind of staring at it with my mouth open.

Posts #206-210: 16 April 2000

Post #206, by Mog116

It was Mog! "Sorry, have you seen the news!?"
"Yeah, I was just watching it." "Wanna call your mom/dad?" "How?" "With this!" Mog gave Queen Catherinea cel-phone. (What is your name! If you talk about yourself in the first person, I can't remember it) "I don't want it back, I'm giving them free to everyone here."

Believe it or not, in 2000 cell phones were far from universal, and still kind of an upper-class luxury. Certainly you didn't see middle school students carrying them around. By about 2003 they had become as universal as automobiles and cable TV.

5 minutes after Mog left, something else came busting through the other wall.

I guess this post was just his way of trying to make a friend, or something.

[This message has been edited by Mog116 (edited 04-16-2000).]

---

Post #207, by SirMontyG

*huff* *puff* "Good morning, Pikachu, Mani!" Sir greeted the two. "Hey, Pika, read this, ok?"

Pikachu: I'm real sorry about that, I'm not a real pokemon basher, and *Shrugh* I have played pokemon blue, snap, stadium, and even have even watched a bit of the series (I'm 15, that's hard to admit..) Your character is much nicer than to shock a girl stuck in a palm tree, so lets just say it was an unfortunate accident caused by a peanut cheese bar binge, alright?

You're supposed to denote OOC comments with brackets or at least parentheses or something.

Don't know why he let 3164 guilt trip him.

And with this, Pikachu replied...

---

Post #208, by Mani Mani

Meanwhile, Mani smiled down at the adorable Pikachu.

'Adorable!' We're definitely getting into 'recruitment of potential new Tenguling' territory here. Having a fake female persona around was mighty handy, indeed.

"Of course I won't tell anyone! I promise to keep it a secret." She reached down to shake his paw, but hesistated. "Umm...you won't shock me will you? I've seen some Pikachu do that..."
[No, I won't.]
"Okay." And they shook hands. "Hey Pikachu...want to be friends? I know my other pals here might not like me hanging around with a Pokemon, but what do you think?"

(Only for Pika to answer! :P)

In classic Tengu fashion. I suppose Tengu wrote his fanfiction on the IF board, rather than just creating a geocities site like everyone else, because it was the most reliable outlet he could find where it was guaranteed to be read by at least a couple dozen eyeballs. But he did not allow anyone to even post in his storylines without express permission, and would frequently get pissed if someone tried to.

---

Post #209, by Mog116

Mog fell out a window of the apartments and landed on his head. "Oww." Mog walked up to Drew. "Hey! Drew! Try someone else's Gameboy game." Mog handed Drew a Game Boy Color with Mooglebound in it to Drew. "Oh, and... call your parents." Mog handed Drew a cell-phone.

After Mog gave a cel-phone to everyone, he sat back on a bench and started playing MoogleBound on his Modified gameboy with a 10 inch screen.

I presume he's taking advantage of quantum-quantum physics to create a Game Boy with a ten inch screen that still fits in his pocket.

---

Post #210, by Queen Catherine

I ((The name's Jenny by the way))

In reference to Mog calling her 'Queen Catherine'.

dialed "it" to phone my parents.

I don't know why he put 'it' in quotation marks. Cell phones were still weird alien technology to 13-year-olds in 2000.

I was growing incredibly weaker every minute.
"Hello?" said a voice.
"Mom, it's me." I said.
"huh? who?"
"Jenny."
"What?! My baby girl's alive?! Where are you-?"
The was an interupption of excitement and then, I heard my dad on the phone. He seemed a heck of a lot angry.
"What did you do with the boat?!" He said to me furiously. "You are in BIG trouble, Young Lady! You're under age of driving yourself, even though you know the rules of the waterway. Are you ok?"
"Yea. It's cool-"
"No, it's not cool! You've been missing for how many days?! I want you home now!"
"That's the problem. I can't go home."
"And why is that?"
"Dad... I'm stuck on an island in the Pacfic Ocean. You're not going to believe this..."
"Very funny! Is Matt with you?"
"He's fine and he's busy and happy right now."
"I want you both home! Right now!"
"But I can't! I'm stuck here and the boat is out of gas. Besides, I don't want to go home! I'm happy living in EagleLand. Feel free to send me beer."
"Aha! So this had something to do with that site you keep yourself occupied with. Those Internet friends of yours are troublesome! The FBI are going to search out SM.Net, find everyone on that island of yours and return you all home! You either return now or be dragged home along with your friends and SM.Net will be convicted. Not to mention that the island will be taken away immediately. I'll talk to you later hopefully."
"But-"

I don't know if this is supposed to be an attempt to set up some kind of serious 'uh-oh, Starmen.Net is in trouble with the feds!' tense storyline, or a setup for some humor, but... seriously, the FBI? The Federal Bureau of Incompetence? Against the Syndicate? Really?

I hung "it" it and I was not only ticked, but worried. My father can be a crazy person, but he went completely psyhcotitc when I called.

Then why did you call? I think you were better off presumed dead.

Eagleland was going to be invaded by the FBI and SM.net would be in serious trouble.

LOL @ 'invaded by the FBI'.

My friends and I had to come up with something fast.

Don't be flabbergasted if the other posters ignore this 'threat'. This is IF, where every character has AC God Mode and FBI agents are so many ants. Old, crippled, blind ants.

The island was ours and we decided to inhabit the area. No one wasn't going to take the Earthbound island away!

GRAMER FAIL

I began to worry and I couldn't sleep. I was no longer weak or tired.
Then, I left my hotel room and went Next door to Matt's (I don't know where your all's hotel rooms are). I banged on the door frantically and the door cracked opened...

Posts #201-205: 16 April 2000

Post #201, by Mog116

"Heheh. I got a Paula's Quest file all the way to Level 136 in one night. I even completed MoogleBound."

Oh god. Please tell me you're not going to challenge him on Paula's friggin' Quest.

Mog was mumbling to himself in the room with Drew, Matt, and everyone else who was forced into the tourney in it. "Is this all the people that signed up?"

Good use of the word 'forced'.

"He made me." Matt said. Mog set on the banch and started playing Moogle bound. "Yes! I'm at level 356! UP YOURS! Yeah! PSI Freeze Orb! PSI Thunder Cloud! HAHAHAHA!"

It might have existed, for all I know. RPG Maker was all the rage in 2000.

Mog laughed insanely as Drew beat Matt in about five seconds. Mog beat several people, and ended up fighting Drew.
(Well? Drew? Who do you think would win. LVL>100 verse LVL>136? I'd say: 100<136)

I'd say we're in for an excrutiating e-penis measuring contest between 10 year olds.

---

Post #202, by NessJeff

"That be nothing. You lamers made me unlock, Level 76779! Yes I improved it. It'll be a cold day in heck before ya beats that!"
"C**p..."
"Mwahaha!" Desparate times call for desparate measures...

Yeah... I act surprised.

---

Post #203, by PsycoPyro

WARNING: Long PP/QC post coming. I don't blame you if you skip it. Hell, I want to skip it.

((Everyone SLOW DOWN!! Grr QC!!))

Yeah... sure. We will all slow down to accommodate your wishes. The internet bends to your will.

I was easily defeated by Drew after playing a game called "Paula's Quest". I sighed as Jenny said nothing. I could sense that she wanted to smile at my pathetic defeat. I shrugged the feeling off, thinking about my victory at the swimming race. I said congrats. to everyone who tried the race and I left for the hotel.

It's your own damn fault for playing the retarded thing.

As I walked back, I turned to find Jenny walking behind me.
"I'm tired," She said, "so I'm going back to my room until morning."
"Isn't Drew gonna walk you back to your room?" I asked her.
"He's busy with his game and I said I'd see him tomorrow somewhere."
"Oh really? Now that's something new."
We walked back to the hotel silently and listened to the insects buzzing. I then stopped and paused. Jenny looks at me with concern.
"What's up?" She asked.
"I need to ask you something." I replied. "Can I borrow your laptop? I really need to talk to Julie! I haven't seen her since we've left for your beach house."
"Uh huh. And then you would pitch it-"
"No, I swear I wouldn't! Just lemme talk to my gf! Please, Jenny!"

Yes, he actually says 'gee-eff'. For reals.

"Oh alright. The boat is at the harbor."
"Thank you so much. By the way before I go, I have something to say..."
Her eyes stared at me intentionally.
"I can sense that Drew guy likes you." I blurted out.
"Yea right!" She laughed, not believeing me.

I have no idea why the hell they're trying to rope NessJeff in. I guess you take your friends/followers where you can find them, especially when CHA is your dump stat, as it is with 90% of IF'ers as with D&D'ers.

"Don't be naive. You saw how he went after me when we were screwing around in the pool

*cough*

and the way he danced with you. Not to mention that he wanted to dance with you longer."

Yes, that definitely means he wants to bang the daylights out of 'her'. How disappointed he will be when he discovers 'she' is actually you, and quite thoroughly male.

Jenny feel silent

I FEEL ASLEEP!

and thought of what I said. We were both silent and I was afriad of what I had said.
"Well um, Good-night Matt." She smiled as she waved farewell and headed back to her room.
I went to the harbor, fetched the laptop from Jen's boat, headed back to my hotel room, and freely chated with my gf off AOL. I never felt so happy in a long time...

[This message has been edited by PsycoPyro (edited 04-16-2000).]

---

Post #204, by Pikachu3164

(Someone here, names SirMontyG, has decided to make me look bad. And that makes me sad. It involves making it seem like Mani got stuck in that tree because I shocked her. I would really appreciate it if people would stop bashing me just because I am a Pokémon.
And I would have saved Mani if I were here when she made the post. But, Sir beat me to it and made me look bad in the process.)

Welcome to the IF board, kiddo. Might want to get used to it. It actually wasn't personal; it's just that making other people look bad while making yourself look like god's gift to the universe is elevated to an art form here.

Anyways, back at the beach...
Pikachu was talking with Mani. He was particualrly disgusted that she had told Sir that he had shocked her when he hadn't.
[Mani! I did not shock you! Why did you say that? I look bad enough here as it is!] asked a very frusterated Pikachu.

KILL HIM WITH FIRE

"I'm not really sure.... But you did run off..." replied Mani.
[What is a Pikachu supposed to do? I'm a foot tall and my arms are an inch long! And I couldn't use my PSI because I didn't want to panic you!]
"Wait... you have PSI?"
[... ... ...]
"Do you?"
[Umm... Yes. I was an expieriment run by Team Rocket before I escaped. They gave me PSI. You have to keep it a secret though, okay?"

I guess this is supposed to be an earthshattering revelation.

[This message has been edited by Pikachu3164 (edited 04-16-2000).]

You'll notice how the posts are starting to generally get longer. That will continue.

---

Post #205, by Queen Catherine

Well, it's been more than 150 posts now since I promised you PP/QC would be going away 'soon'. I was wrong. I apologize. I'm just as frustrated as you are.

I walked back to the hotel and went up in the elevator to the 7th floor. I walked down the narrow hallway, pulled out my keycard, and unlocked my door. Slowly I walked in.

I went into my closet and pulled out a dark gree Kimono. I stripped off my clothes and warpped myself in the robe.

There is no way in hell this poster isn't male. There's fanservice like this in almost every post.

Then, I made myself some caffeen-free tea and settled myself on the edge of my large bed.

Again.

I turned on the tv and watched the news. The topic was on "Children Misteriously Disappeared! SM.Net Might Have a Connection to the Case."

Tomorrow's topic will be 'Channel 6 news team mysteriously disappeared! We have no idea who might have a connection to the case. Seriously. Please don't hurt us, Syndicate.'

I sighed tiredly and wondered if I should notifiy my parents. Besides, Matt and I sneaked out of the house to come here onto this island. I started to worry about Matt and wondered what he would do. He desparately wanted to see his gf once again in person. Indeed was he love sick. Would he try to run away from Eagleland and back to MD or will he find a way to bring her over here too? And what about Drew? Was what Matt said was true? I was

He never finished that sentence. Forever we will be left to wonder. I was.......

As I finished my tea, I began to feel strange. My senses were growing weak and my vision was getting a little dim. What was wrong with me all of a sudden? Tea isn't suppose to do this.
I sniffed the tiny drops of tea that was in my mug. Something in it wasn't right, but I didn't taste anything funny. Just then, I heard a loud knock on the door. Someone or something came breaking into my Hotel room...

QC/PP has grown bored, even with his own meandering nonsense, and is going to again try to kickstart some violence. Really, the violence won't get rolling in full steam until a couple of the alpha dogs in this thread (PSI, Tengu, Chris) get it going.

Posts #196-200: 16 April 2000

Post #196, by waffle

Waffle walked over to the winner and congratulated him. "Man..."waffle said to himself, "Guess I should try more at all those practices..." He stood around at the beach,where the the cool breaze that made him feel so good was blowing. He was pretty tired and decided to relax a bit.

Waffle walked down the path to his room and wished Luna good luck next time.

Making sure to stay in Luna's consciousness. And actually fairly well played.

Then he went in his room and hung out while wondering what awaited him next.

---

Post #197, by Mog116

Mog awoke with a jolt. He hadfallen asleep in the dancing room. He had already slept the three hours he slept every night, so he went outside.

Yeah. I doubt that.

Mog yawned. He was not tired, Just when he woke up, he always yawned. He pulled a floaty-belty-thingy out and put it on.

Haha! Awesome. He's admitting he's around 10 years old and doesn't know how to swim?

He waded out into the ocean. He would try to learn to swim, so in case they had a surfing contest he could try.

Yes. Yes, he is.

(30 minutes later...) Mog pulled a water snake off his leg. He walked into the apartments, saw the PQ and EB tourneys, and decided to sign up.

There are no water snakes in the ocean.

"Well, I have no talents, and missed every other tourney, so..." Mog walked to Drew and got a Paula's Quest game. He went up to his apartment and played it and MoogleBound tell Dawn.

He and 3164 really need to start some kind of support group for attention-starved people who publicly hate themselves hoping someone will pat them on the back.

---

Post #198, by Chris

The next day, Chris was up with the sunlight.

Probably didn't sleep all night for being giddy over hanging out with Juliana all day.

He quickly showered and dressed, and rushed down to the lobby, where he found several people were sitting around, eating breakfast and chatting. Chris wandered over to the breakfast buffet, and began loading up his plate with bacon, grits, eggs, pancakes, most any breakfast food you might imagine (except waffles).

Chris betrays that he's from somewhere south of the Mason-Dixon. The best description of grits came from a guy named Aaron Watt, who when asked about grits described them thusly: "You know on the periodic table, at the bottom, where it says 'Gr'? That's Grits."

He then looked around, and found a nice little table by a window overlooking the ocean.

He ate his breakfast, and wondered if anyone else would show up.

And by 'anyone else' he means... well, you know what he means.

[This message has been edited by Chris (edited 04-17-2000).]

Chris must go back and edit 80% of his posts, often the following day.

---

Post #199, by NessJeff

Drew screams with joy! "Yes! Someone for me to beat! Fwahaha! Wait, I'll use my level 100 file on PQ. Not my 79979 level file. That's too easy, foo!"

Just to recap... he has been incessantly spamming his moronic excuse for a fangame in this thread, not hoping other people will enjoy it, but hoping that someone will somehow get suckered into some sort of competition with him, at his own (excuse for a) game, so he can win at something. It might be a feeling he's legitimately never experienced to this point in his life.

Drew eats cheese. I've hacked all on the island onto my signup! I won't Participate until the end, when I face da champ."
Drew begins singing.
"I'm on the road to Viridian City!
Meet my friends along the way, I'm on the road!
On the road to Viridian City!
I got a badge and the power to play!"
A yell from the admin level. "Shut Up! We can ban ya, ya know."
"Yes admins."

What the bloody hell?

The next day, everyone showed up for the tourneys...

Don't be too disappointed if this turns out to be wrong, pumpkin.

---

Post #200, by Tengu Man/Makron

Tengu Man likely spent a half hour repeatedly refreshing the page so he could record post #200.

The mysterious referee went to his room and got a large bag of cookies to eat. He wondered why he even came to this party. He stunk at sand castles, he also stunk at dancing, so he didn't go to the dance.

Also PSI322 was already spoken for by the time he realized a dance was going on, by an administrator, and Tengu was not confrontational with anyone beyond the level of easily-dominated 12 year olds.

He thought about entering a later event, but then something caught his attention. When he got there, he remembered there were many buildings and a few hotels, like a ghost town of sorts. He then came to a conclusion.

"This place isn't COMPLETELY new. People already live here, but they must have been desolated from us until now.

Isolated.

Maybe I can find some new people to join the party. Beats standing around doing nothing."

Actually, the Syndicate had all the natives whacked when they took over the island.

he got up, and prepared his double-bladed lightsaber, which came with his Darth Maul outfit, and went off north...

(I'm still not ready to be revealed yet, sorry. I'll reveal myself soon, k?)

Take your time. Really.

Posts #191-195: 16 April 2000

Post #191, by Queen Catherine

((I think I've found my brain! ))

Thank god. Does this mean you're going to stop multi-accounting?

"We have a winner!" The announcer shouted with excitement.
I bolted out of my seat and ran to the section where Matt was. He gasped for air and looked so tired as he hung onto the edge of the pool. I extended an arm to help him out of the water until he quickly grabbd it and pulled me into the cold water. I yelped in surprised and surfaced.
"That wasn't FUNNY!" I shrieked as Matt laughed hysterically.
"I gotcha, didn't I?" He laughed as I splashed at him and we wrestled underwater.
People started to gather around us...

Kinky.

---

Post #192, by NessJeff

Drew gets ticked at Matt.
"Matt, it's not nice to pull girls,"Drew said, "Especially Jenny,"He mutters, "into the pool without warning! For that, I force you to enter my EB and Paula's Quest tourneys tomorrow. Anyone can enter. Free Paula's Quest Game Paks For all!"
Everyone gets one.

For f---'s sake, we heard you the first time. No one wants to piss away a solitary second of his/her life playing your retarded fangame.

...was I too ambiguous about that?

Meanwhile...

[This message has been edited by NessJeff (edited 04-16-2000).]

---

Post #193, by Chris

"And our winner is...Matt!"

Congradulations poured in from all around the pool. Matt had managed to pull ahead and win the race. Chris went up and shook his hand, then brought him a towel.

So... you shook his hand... then walked away... then returned with a towel?

"Thanks." Matt said.
"Sure, no problem." Chris replied.

Finally, after a busy night, people started heading to the hotel to go to bed for the night. There would be many festivities tomorrow; plus, the talent show was only two days away. Everyone had to start preparing their acts.

To be honest, I can't remember whether they got around to the talent show before they all got sidetracked by violence and crossover Big Bads from other games trying to destroy the world.

"Hey, Juliana. Mind if I walk you up to your room?" Chris asked, a little nervously.

Just a little. Took him 90 nerve-wracking seconds to bang out this sentence.

A little surprised, she answered, "Um...sure. We've had a good enough night so far."

He keeps using on-the-fence language like 'good enough', 'so far' and etc., presumably because he wants to encourage Juliana (the AC, in theory) to agree that hanging out with him is just awesome, without actually making her say so. He really wants Juliana (again, the AC.... ok... maybe not just the AC) to like him. He's almost pleading.

Take notes, guys: Girls do not like this kind of behavior.

They walked up to the hotel, then entered the lobby. Before going into the elevator, they stopped to grab one last drink at a soda machine. They then took an elevator up to the adminstrator floor.

That's right: Administrators get an entire floor aaaaaaaaaaaall to themselves.

No points for guessing which two people are the only Administrators currently active in the story.

"Well, seems my first date went well. Good night, Juliana."

"Good night, Chris."

And with that, she closed her door, and Chris walked down to his room, the happiest man alive.

He is not kidding. Funny how seriously a person can take an IF.

---

Post #194, by Luna

Luna was talking to herself as she headed up to her room.
"dang, dang, DANG!! I almost had it!" Luna grumbled. "I could have won! How'd he pull ahead?!"

You were too busy bragging about your kiwi birds on IRC and PP/QC managed to post first, is my guess.

"Nice race!" people around Luna were congratulating her as she walked up to her room.
"Oh well... I'll do better next time..."
Just then...

---

Post #195, by SirMontyG

"WOOOOOOHOOOO!!!"

Sir exclames as he rides out the wave he's on, pulling a mute grab off as well. "Surfing's the life, but it's a shame I missed those other contests." While contimplating, Sir forgets about being in the ocean and gets blasted by a wave. Undetered, Sir paddles back out, and looks on the horizon for another 7 footer (common on Eagleland Island, btw), and then looks back to shore. "heellpp.. hellp meeeee.." Were the faint words Sir heard and noticed a girl at the top of a palm tree with no way down. "I guess today is just my day for saving people or something.."

IF is awesome for that. You get to save 4.7 people per day, on the average, and that's on the fairly rare occasions when you're not saving the world/galaxy/universe.

Sir rides the next wave all the way in and rushes to the tree.
"Well how'd ya get up there?" Sir asks.
"Uhh, it's kind of a long story, and it involves a pikachu shocking me and instant teliportation, can you just get me down first?"
"That's Starmen for ya.." And with that, Sir helped Mani Mani down from the tree.

This is neither here nor there, but back when Buzz-Buzz stole the domain name earthbound.net and everyone decided to go with starmen.net instead, I alone opposed 'starmen.net'. My opinion was it sounds like a gay porn site. I still hold that opinion today.