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17 November 2009

Posts #66-70: 13 April 2000

Post #66, by Little Yoshi

(Whoa! you leave for 48 hours and what happens? 35 more posts come poring in!)
That was probably a starmen.net record. Non-IFer staffers like icEFusioN and spaanoft were already popping in to cameo--that's how amazing this was to everyone.

Also, pouring, Tim. Pouring.
Suddenly, Tim had a somewhat awkward idea.
"Hey,"He wandered aloud,"
Wondered.
I wonder if it would be possible to play a four-player EB game? We could pass the controler
Controller. And actually, if you have a multitap (you know, the thing that came with Super Bomberman that allows four controllers) any of them works on EarthBound, so passing around controllers would be unnecessary. Also, you're hanging out with super-geniuses who have modified SSB carts and N64's to allow for 16 players simultaneously. Your idea of four alternating players on a game that already allows four alternating players is quaint.
around during battle, and take turns letting people walk around..." He said.
"Well, no one probably wants to play anyways, so I'll just reload the snacks table," Tim said,
Yeah. Who the hell wants to play EarthBound at an EarthBound community gathering? Hey, who's got the Game Boys? We need more pokemon action here!
as he got out the food, wandering
Wondering.
if anyone had heard him about his 4-player EB idea.
They probably heard you, Tim, but that's not the same thing as giving a damn. Also, a lot of people tend to steer clear of people who go around mumbling to themselves. It's probably a survival instinct of some kind.



Post #67, by Queen Catherine

"SO MUCH FOR THE RESCUE, GUYS!" I shouted with anger as I watch everyone evactuate to a hotel.
So take him out yourself. What's the big deal? You're an AC. You're invincible and godlike. I'm kinda with everyone else that headed inside here. We'll see you there.
Kralen lungeds at me and I was pushed underwater. I desparetly tried to swim away, but it was no use since I was not a fast swimmer. Then, my vision from the salt water grew dim
Salt water does not impede your vision. Do you know what your eyeballs are floating in right now? Salt water.
and I soon realized I was losing oxygen. I was drowning and I suddenly felt a sharp pain.
Kralen produces an electric bolt and had hurled it in my direction.
TENSE FAIL
While being electrocuted, I was paralyzed, but I was lucky enough to surface for air before. Then, I watched in horror as Kralen open its jaws and nearing towards me. I wished that I had PSI powers or something, but I realized that this maybe the end...

((alright, someone at LEAST help out))
She had to include that comment because otherwise, it would be unclear from the fact she's drowning to death and conspicuously not engaging AC God Mode whether or not she wants someone to help her. Which accomplishes two things: She gets attention, and we get away from hanging out and more into the real point of any IF: Violence.



Post #68, by Chris

One quick slice with his sword, and Kralen was now in two pieces.
You taking notes, QC? That is how you engage AC God Mode.
Chris pulled Jen to the shore, and helped Matt bring the boat in.
Chris, the gallant knight of Starmen.Net. He'd have been there sooner, but he couldn't make up his mind whether to leave Juliana alone for 30 seconds.

(By the way, yes, I am really piling on Chris (and others). If you think that's bad, wait'll you see the way I treat myself when I show up in this story. Trust me, I harbor no ill will for anyone. It's just so easy to make fun of all our 15 year old selves.)
"Sorry I couldn't get out here quicker, but the breakfast bar in the lobby was huge!
And Juliana was there.
You wanna come eat? Oh, I guess you'd rather get to a hospital. Don't worry, there's one around back."
The Syndicate doctors there just got a new jigsaw and have been dying for a chance to try it out.
Chris and Matt began to carry Jen's body to the Eagleland Hospital, fashioned after the hospital found in Fourside...
I don't think she ever actually lost consciousness, and either you don't think so either, or you're talking to a corpse. She might be able to walk, now that's she's gotten the recommended daily allowance of attention.



Post #69, by Little Yoshi

Tim had scrambled to his laser equipped boat after hearing the call for help, and got to the scene right after the beast was defeated.
That's why you carry a sword, doofus.
"Doh! Sorry I was late, guess you guys already handled him." Tim called. He then decided to try to build a small harborish thing for boats to park.
An AC can build a complete marina (or, in Tim's vernacular, "small harborish thing"; whichever way you want to pronounce it is cool with me) in about 15 minutes. Lefthanded. And blindfolded.
He also stayed on patrol for monsters, in case any popped up.
Goddammit, am I ever going to get a chance to use this boat-mounted laser!? Heeeere, monster, monster, monster...
After some construction, Tim decided to take a break. He wondered what he could do, and decided he would attempt to bring peace to the isle.
When you're done, could you stop off in Israel? Thanks.
"I have something to say, this'll only take a moment!"Tim said. A few games paused to listen."Anyone who starts attacking anyone else is going to have to deal with my laser equipped boat, which can snipe through windows with stun lasers.And don't try stealing it, you will never break into it.That's all I have to say." The games were promptly un-paused.
Did you just attempt to bring peace to the isle by...... threatening AC's? Yeah, that'll work like a charm. A giant f---ing charm. (For the record, that doesn't work very well in Israel, either.)



Post #70, by ToadRules

Suddenly A Replica of the Sky Runner crashes in the back ground.
That's Aerial Vehicle Crash #7.
ToadRules, a little crispy from the explosion, steps out of the wreck. ToadRules is wearing his favorite Shirt (Ok it doesn't really exist) that has a picture of Ness on the front that says "Earthbound Rules!" On the back it has a picture of Toad that says "So does Toad!" .
Seriously. What kind of f---ed up in the head do you have to be for f---ing Toad to be your hero?
ToadRules: Hey guys. Did I miss anything?
No. No, not really.

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