After PSIOsman, Chris, Juliana, the Foppy King, Tim, Ness the Skittleboy, and Sir recovered from their stay inside the green tubes, they began to discuss what happened.
It's proper form to list yourself last in a group when narrating in first person. But screw that. It's time the world knew just how important PSIOsman is."Thanks," said Tim to the young surfer known as Alan. "You rescued us just in time. I was about to expire in there. But how did you know where to find us?"
"I don't know. I just had this feeling... that someone was calling me, someone named PSIOsman."
"That would be me," said Osman, stepping forward.
"YOU have PSI?" Asked Juliana, incredulously.
Everyone in the Gathering has telepathy, because, as we've discussed, teenagers were dreaming of cell phones long before they were invented and popularized. I don't think anyone has stated that telepathy = PSI, but let's face it, PSI is cool, so of course everyone has it."Well, only a little. I can do a bit of telepathy and some slight telekinesis, but that's it," he responded.
"Wow!" exclaimed Alan. "Can you teach me?"
"Sure. It's quite easy."
Not sure how well ol' Alan is going to take to playing the buffoon so PSIOsman can demonstrate to the audience how totally awesome he is.Foppy King turned to Sir and the others and said "But what happened? How did we get inside those tubes? I thought we had beat the Supreme Starman!"
Ness the Skittleboy furrowed his brow. I don't know. All I remember is the wall buckling inward, and then we were here...
(Uh oh, we need someone to get us back on track. Who's with us and who's not?
Totally unnecessary parenthetical comment. How about you let the other authors decide that without holding their hands?[This message has been edited by PSIOsman (edited 04-23-2000).]
Oh, and don't get your hopes up on Alan deciding to continue hanging out with you.
Post #551, by SaturnAl
"I will help you defeat this stardude guy, or like, join you guys if you want." (Answer yes/no)
Apparently he's ruling out the option of answering "maybe," or asking further questions for clarification, or ignoring him and moving on. CHECK YES OR NO RIGHT NOW!"I know this awesome PSI move, dude, called Surf. And, like, my surfboard can dish out major damage, dude."
Well, I laughed at the gratuitous 'dude's all over the place. Sure he sounds stupid, but at least he sounds different."Let's go said Osman...
Obviously you knew he was going to brag right back in Osman's face that he already knows kickass PSI moves. Duh.
Post #552, by SirMontyG
Ok, you guys need to tell me this things, ok? I need to know the info. Come on people, throw me a freakin bone here!
(Bad Dr. Evil Impression, but I'm just that stupid, arn't I )
Yes. Yes, you are.
Post #553, by PSIOsman
Come to think of it, all I really remember about PSIOsman was how he would always mistakenly think people were talking to or about him when they'd say "(something) PSI" in #earthbound. They were invariably referring to PSI322, of course.PSIOsman was unsure of how he became the leader of the group, but he said:
You didn't. What happened was you tried to appoint yourself leader of the group, and now we get to watch your effort go down in flames as everyone ridicules and then ignores you."Sure you can join us. But I still don't know what happened! I thought we beat that Starman!"
Protip for all the kiddies out there: you don't get to be a leader in an internet forum community just by pronouncing yourself one. This was 2000 and PSI322 was running the show, so PSIOsman's gaffe didn't hurt anything. Try that now at any other forum and then laugh at how quickly you get banned.
It's been a couple posts now, and he's still bitching about Anthadd railroading them into getting defeated. Which of course PSIOsman can't be defeated. He's too cool for that."Well," said Sir. "I think we can be off now. I think we should go back to where that Supreme Starman was. We can't retreat, can we?"
"OOOH! Wait! I remembered what I was supposed to tell you! POO GOT INTO MAGICANT!!!"
The whole group turned and said, "WHAT?"
Don't worry about it. It would be pretty stupid to imagine Poo got into Magicant, seeing as how it doesn't exist and even if it did, it's in Ness's brain. Also, you don't get there without the eight melodies, which... oh, hell, forget it.Osman told them the entire story, about how he found out from Andonuts how Poo went to Fire Spring.
"This is indeed dire," said Tim. "We must go find Magicant before Poo gains its power!"
Apparently all you have to do is go to Fire Spring and you'll be magically whisked there. Since you all can teleport anywhere in the world at will, you should make Magicant in approximately 3.5 seconds.Sir led the group into the room where the Supreme Starman was...
"Had been," really.
Post #554, by Mog116
You won't see it because I'll be breaking it up with my annotations, but this post is one of the things in IF I hate the very most: A large block of un-paragraphed text.There was a loud alarm, and millions of more Starmen came through the door.
What the f---? Millions? Into that smallish room? What are these, three-inch Starman action figures?"Oh. Crud. Mog flung his spear and it hit a starman on the head. He jumped past the Starman, and ripped his spear out of the Starman's head. He skidded around and landed by a pit. "Crud." "PSI Float Omega!" Mog began floating, then dashed at a starman at blinding speed.
Mog116 never fails to deliver the absurdity, that's for damn sure.
Sorry, I can't annotated the recst of this post, on account that I'm blind. :(In a flash, Mog landed behind about fifty starmen, who then fell dead.
Great! Only 999,950 to go. Also, Starmen don't really "die" so much as they "are defeated."He dashed through the door with the Starmen rushing after him.
Question from the Annoying Question Guy: Where exactly the hell is the rest of the gang here?He drove his spear through the door close button, and the door closed just in time to have hundreds of starmen hit the wall.
OK, I just went back and checked. Apparently he hasn't caught up to the rest of the gang yet, and was engaged in a rescue attempt when NessTSB and SaturnAl jumped in ahead of him. So now he's just literarily masturbating for a while.
I'd criticize him for pretending that traps the Starmen for more than five seconds, but... at least he realized this was getting boring and ended it.Mog ran through the corridors, not watching where he was going. It was good he was floating, because the whole ship kept tilting.
Doesn't that mean he really more like floated through the corridors, as opposed to running? Or should I be imagining Wile E. Coyote running through the open air before he looks down and realizes he ran off the edge of the cliff?He ran into a room marked: CLOSE RANGE WEAPONRY. Screech!!! There was a huge monster standing in front of him. It had a head that looked like a comet. It was tall. It had two necks that helped it balance its head. It had four legs, which were twisting around each other to form two legs, although, it looked like it had two legs. It was almost transparent. Mog could see something shining behind it. "Do you want to fight me, the dark shadow, The mysterious copycat?" "Can I get some help?" [Someone... Help.... I'm in a cave in the lost underworld. HELP!]
Apparently ol' Mog ingested some pretty awesome hallucinogens mid-post and is now working on some kind of sci-fi fic.
I suggest you let him be.
Post #555, by SaturnAl
"HEY!!!" Alan said. "If this stardude guy is metal, like, my surf move is water-based. I know water does something to metal, but i don't know what...."
"Guess my 1.3 GPA is showing up here," Alan said.
Yes, Alan, yes it is. But shouldn't that be, "Dude, I guess my 1.3 GPA is showing up here, dude?"The whole group was glad to hear that about Alan's PSI.
You gotta say this for Alan: he doesn't get discouraged and start threatening to cut himself when everyone ignores him, the way Mog or Foppy King does. He just tells you that you think he is the s---.
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