Posts #1131-1135: 23 May 2000

Post #1131, by SuperSpeedy/Mankey Boy

    quote:Originally posted by PSI322:
    (Did I just hear someone say "new AC"? I hope, then, that this is your ONLY AC, seeing as the rules allow for only ONE. If this IS, indeed, your only AC, then ignore this and don't be mad at me. Thanks.)

    ~PSI322, Moderator of Interactive Fiction

(Didn't you see "…raming Poryhedron next to Magnet Hill(We know what happens from that.)." Poryhedron is made of computer code, and gets deleted, or killed, when near magnets.)

SuperSpeedy retconning his last post into killing Poryhedron off when he introduced... whatever his newest AC was. Shock Bird? Yeah, I think it was Shock Bird. Poor kid. The Man (well, The Woman) is cramping his style.

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Post #1132, by guruzeth

After a few minutes, they finally arrived, as Chris had predicted, in a small town.

Isn't it sweet of guruzeth to let Chris be right once in a while?

"I don't see the park anywhere around here..." said Tracy.

"Neither do I, but at least we're somewhere," said guru as dios parked his car and the group hopped out.

"Should we warn the townspeople about those Lavos spawns?" said Juliana.

"You crazy?" said Falcon. "If we wander around warning everyone that they're gonna get attacked by giant porcupines they'll lock us in the loony bin."

Well, they probably would, come to that. Probably the wisest play is to go through town warning everyone a tornado or something is headed their way. At least then some people might get in their basements and avoid the wrath of the Stupid Crossover Villains.

"Besides, who cares?" said dios. "I need to find somewhere to get my wheels fixed... and the next time my car gets hurt, I SWEAR I'm gonna kill someone." He glared at guru, Falc and Tracy. They chuckled.

diospadre's love affair with his Ford Explorer was something of a running joke at the time, and there was no one quite like guruzeth for overplaying running jokes after they've already played themselves out. More on this soon.

"Well," said Poo, "we could at least ask someone for directions here... I'm hungry, let's get something to eat before those things show up and we have to leave. I hope someone takes care of them..."

So this is--stop me if you've heard this before--yet another "I don't give a damn what happens here but I am not getting involved in Saving the World, do you hear me!?" post from guruzeth.

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Post #1133, by Anthadd

Anthadd and Sir were sloshing through Deep Darkness, and Anthadd was freaking out like there was no tomorrow.
"If only I hadn't come to this stupid gathering," he muttered, "this wouldn't be happeing." Anthadd continued to ramble on about hydrophobia.

Anthadd must REALLY be freaking out, like legitimately going crazy behind his keyboard, to have misspelled "happening" and failed to notice. Treasure this moment, Gathering fanatics: An Anthadd typo preserved for posterity is a rare sight to behold.

"Hydrophobia?"
"Hydro: water. Phobia: Fear. Figure it out from there."
A zapping sound alerted the two to outside influences. "A Zap Eel?" Sir offered.
"Most likely," Anthadd replied.

Zap Eels are actually one of the very few enemies in EarthBound you have to pay special attention to, for if you don't they can and will f*** you up. Of course if such a thing existed it should be able to fry a person without getting within 20 feet of them. Have you ever pondered the absurdity of kids with bats, frying pans and guns trying to kill an eel slithering around them in a swamp? Do you know how fast eels are in water?

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Post #1134, by Gauntlet Wizard

"Ah!" Siris gasped. "Can't... move..."
Siris's body had been slowed, and the Lavos Spawns were still slowly approaching the city. Siris focused his mind and concentrated on a high powered healing spell. After a few seconds, the groups' ailments were mostly healed. "We need to stop those Spawns!" Siris yelled...

(I don't have time to finsih, carry on Osman or someone)

 I have to at least give Gauntlet a little credit here; his character actually at least did something in this post, however minor and inconsequential. Of course, being Gauntlet, he ends the post with another cry for attention. It's been fifteen years and it hasn't been answered yet.

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Post #1135, by Pikachu3164

[PIKA!] Electricity formed, and Pikachu released a gigantic Thunder attack. It destroyed two of the Lavos Spawns and severely damaged the remaining. [Nathan!]

"Yeah?"

[You finish the him off! I need to go do something!]

"Okay!"

I checked, and there is a gap of about 45 minutes before this post and it's predecessor. So yes, there's a pretty good chance 3164 is mocking Gauntlet here. The kid has a smidgen of cleverness about him.

Pikachu used PSI to grab one of the dead bodies and Teleported to Andonuts Labs.

"Hey! It's a Pikachu! And he's carrying one of those things that had attacked the lab earlier! Want a donut!?"

[Nope. Let's make this simple. I want you to make a repellant designed to repel one of these Lavos Spawn.]

"A Lavos Spawn? Jeff told me about those earlier...."

Well, Pikachu went on to tell Dr. Andonuts the story of how Lavos had fell on someone's head earlier, and everyone went on a quest to gain melodies to destroy him. Lavos was on the edge of life at this point, but the Lavos Spawn were still on a rampage, destroying Eagleland. They were as serious as Lavos himself, and he needed a way to stop him.

"Well, I suppose we could use the basic cells remaining in it's body, extract the...."

[Whatever. Just make the repellant, and a vaccine for me. I have a friend who happens to be one of these.]

"Okay. As soon as I have a donut."

I did chuckle at the "as soon as I have a donut" line (presumably he has donuts now; he didn't when Jeff showed up at his lab in-game.) 

So 3164's idea is apparently to use Lavos Spawn Repellant to make the moronic things go away so they can go back to having fun. A noble cause, my young friend, but you'll as soon sell sand to an Arab as sell your compatriots on that idea.