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22 June 2018

Posts #1161-1165: 25 May 2000

Post #1161, by loid

"Well I think your the one who has another thing coming." said evil manimani evily
"Yeah, sure."
"I'd like you to meet my new assistant, ArcRandite, come on down!"
Kiyo floated through the air, but he wasn't kiyo anymore, he was Randite.
"Hello Tim, in this land of eternal darkness, night never stops! I'm going to enjoy watching you suffer Tim"
Think what you want, but I think this is hilarious, and it's going to be super ultra double hilarious when we get to watch Liyoshi get huffy about it.



Post #1162, by Traceh

Tracy stood there for a moment after thinking for a while. Then she turned to Poo and Chris with a strange look on her face.
Yes, that is probably the correct response to guruzeth's antics and Falcon24 and PSI322's responses to them.
"Well Im really glad we arent fighting, I was never going to in the first place if it means anything, I just wanted to not get separated from any of you," Tracy said, glancing out the window of the station. She saw Falcon push the door open and stride in. "Where have our other friends gone?" she asked him.
Poor Traceh's like "wtf are we arguing about? Can't we just chill out and get along? In an IF?"
"Well...." he hesitated, "I saw guruzeth sitting at a table across the street."

"Okay then guys," said Tracy. "Will you try to work on selling that bat? Ill be back as soon as I can, hopefully not too long."

Tracy picked up her bag and slung it across her shoulder, walking hastily out the front door and breathed a sigh of releif, none too sad about leaving the police station. She looked around, first left, the across the street only to find nothing. She was wondering where Juliana had went to when she caught a flash out of the corner of her eye, a figure dissapearing into the woods.

"guru!" she called. "guruzeth, where are you going to?" He didnt seem to hear her, he looked as if he held pent up anger or worry, so she decided to follow at a safe distance and wait for the right time to aproach him.
I don't know if it was on purpose, but this is actually a nice callback to Traceh and guruzeth's first meeting, back at the Hotel Where It All Began.
After walking a distance much longer then she originally expected, she noticed him up ahead. He had stopped and was staring off in to the distance as if he saw something but wasnt ready to explore. She took her chance and called to him and he turned around slowly to face her.

"What are you doing here?" he asked in disbelief. He gave her a blank look that she couldnt read, so she didnt jump to any conclusions.
That is to say, Traceh saying to guruzeth OOC through the vehicle of IC writing: I still have no idea what the hell you've been flipping out about, dude. Are you okay? What's wrong with you?
"I was about to ask the same thing to you, guru. Where are you going? I mean...well....are you just going to leave? After all that we have been through on this island, to leave it all behind... Well, I guess I understand. If you want to be on your own, let me know now so I can go back to tell the others and stay with them, I guess." Tracy looked up and saw the clearing up ahead, but turned away and waited. It was starting to get late.
Again, in other words, Traceh's like, dude, I invested a lot of time into writing a plotline with you, and now we've been joined by a bunch of other people, and now you're going to throw a hissy fit and stomp out just like that? Really? 
She was kind of fond of the guy, for some reason, but she would have been so much better off just letting him go off to pout in the corner by himself and move along with Poo and Falcon24 and diospadre. 
[This message has been edited by Traceh (edited 05-25-2000).]




Post #1163, by guruzeth

guruzeth stood straight, gazing sharply into the distance. He turned briefly toward Tracy, who was looking in another direction, then back toward the clearing, and then finally he turned his body around. "I'm sorry," he said after a slight hesitation. "I left without much explanation. My past extends far beyond the point at which you found me... I used to be a fighter. I fought against just about every villain you can imagine... but it wore me out. You'd be surprised how disheartening a life fighting enemies that can never really be defeated is."
LOL. You probably don't know why I'm laughing, but it's because I oh so distinctly remember guruzeth's endless IF Wars against Tengu Man. That is what he's referring to. What he's saying, quite clearly and directly to his mind, is "f--- all this saving the world violence bulls---, there are 14 other IF threads to do that in, I'm out."  
The thing is, Traceh is an IF newbie and therefore doesn't know any of that--ditto for Falcon24 and diospadre. Those three are really dumbfounded; from their perspective guruzeth completely out of nowhere started throwing a temper tantrum, and they're like 'WTF?'
"I never knew that..." said Tracy.

"I vowed some time ago to never fight again unless it was necessary to protect my life," guru continued. "Besides, it's just stupid what they're doing! They're not gonna get dios out of jail by beating up the cops!"
Putting dios in jail was your idea, genius!
"Yeah, I know," said Tracy. "Hey, have you seen Juliana? I can't find her anywhere..."

guruzeth raised an eyebrow. "She was at the station..."

"She disappeared," said Tracy. "I didn't see her leave, it was sometime after you did. It's getting late..."

"She must be in the town somewhere, probably the hotel," said guru. "But I'd feel a lot better if I knew for sure. Let's go find her, and see if the others are in the slammer yet."
guruzeth is of course following along behind PSI322, who left him with basically no other option. He's also, kind of cleverly, offering Falcon24 one last chance to write a nonviolent conclusion to the whole jail thing, which of course Falcon24 will never accept, but at least guruzeth can say he offered.
Tracy laughed a little at that. "Yeah, let's get outa here before it gets dark." They hurried back out of the jungle and made for the hotel, where they hoped they would find Juliana at this late hour. What happened to the others?
Repeating the invitation for Falcon24 and/or diospadre to yield the point.



Post #1164, by Falcon24

Falcon strode down the hall of the station, heading for the Police Chief's office. He was about to barge in when he stopped in his tracks. "What am I doing!? This is SO stupid...I guess I'll just try to reason with the Chief." He walked politely into Chief Strong's office. "Hello, I am Falcon..I was wondering what the posted bail on diospadre is?"
Falcon24... backing down?
Chief Strong scratched his chin. "Well, the bail is set around $240,000, I'm afraid."

Falcon's eyes bugged out. "What!? That's crazy!"

Chief Strong laughed. "Look where you are, boy! EVERYTHING is overpriced in Eagleland!" He began to laugh insanely.

"Wait, can't I bargain with you? I mean, it's only an assault charge, nothing THAT serious..."

Strong's eyes turned cold. "I'm afraid that's not possible. Unless...you're willing to speak with a few of Onett's finest." At these words two officers stepped forward, seemingly out of nowhere. They grabbed Falcon by the arms.

"Hey!" Falcon shouted. "What the heck do you think you're doing!? I didn't do anything wrong!"

Strong simply stroked his mustache. "We'll be holding you on counts of disturbing the peace...you interrupted me while I was playing EarthBound, and I almost beat it!" Falcon attempted to pull away from the officers. He didn't want to hurt them, but he felt he had no choice. He thrust his foot backwards into one of the officer's kneecaps, and attempted to pull away from the other.
Ha ha ha. That's so delightfully fiendish a way of showing guruzeth the finger. "I TRIED to solve this without violence, but they jumped me! I couldn't!"
The first officer grabbed his knee in pain, and as Falcon struggled to get free of the second, the first pulled Falcon's bat from its holster and bashed him over the head with it. He fell to the ground, out cold.

"Uhhh...where am I?" Falcon, at last regaining his senses, found himself on the cold concrete floor of a prison cell. He looked up to see dios sitting on a bunk near him.

"Hey Falcon. What happened?" dios inquired.

Falcon coughed. "Crooked Cops.." He muttered.
Ohhhh, this is wonderful. Falcon24 was a very sharp lad--did you see how he threaded that needle? He managed to yield the point to guruzeth AND stick his tongue out at him while he was doing it, and via a tactic so unheard-of in IF that it's diabolically clever to employ it here: an AC losing a fight! (Actually, this is the third time Falcon24 has lost a fight in the Gathering, which I believe is three more than everyone else combined.) Now guruzeth more or less has to accept a negotiated truce rather than claiming victory. I declare Falcon24 the winner of this little spat, for what little it matters. 
Of course, on the only scoreboard that matters guruzeth is the victor: the girls, you have noticed, are following him. I think they'd have been better off following Falcon24, though.



Post #1165, by diospadre

Well, I guess we're stuck here for a while" diospadre mumbled. "What time is it anyway?"

"It's 6:30. You've been in here for about nine minutes. Still holding out alright?" Falcon asked.
LOL. Oh, diospadre, I wish you'd posted a lot more in the Gathering than you did.
"I don't know, I think I'm beginning to become claustrophobic." diospadre replied, just as an officer brought over a phone. "You two got a call," he said.

"Hey guys, It's me, Chris. Guess what!" Chris exclaimed. "Poo and I sold the bat! We got two hundred bucks!"

"Well, youre only about 498 thousand dollars short," Fsalcon replied dejectedly. The bail is way to high for us. Why don't you two try to buy back the bat. We'll get out on our own. See you on the outside."
It's doubling me over with laughter how excited diospadre is making Chris sound about the two hundred bucks. I wonder if anyone involved remembers that, thanks to Chris's great fantasy date excursion, he and Juliana are carrying a pile of high end equipment, not just a single bat. Then again, Juliana is currently AWOL.
"okay, dios, see you then." *Click!*

"Well what's your plan?" Falcon asked.

"Well it all depends on wheteher my suspicions are correct. But I'll be able to get out of the cell pretty easily." dios concentrated, and the wavering beam of light extended from his arm again.

"Petty impressive," Falcon said. "That look familiar, did you pick it up from somewhere?"

"Yeah, it's basically a copy of the Soul Reaver from that Legacy of Kain game for the PSX and DreamCast. I'm not really sure where how I got it, though, It just kind of appeared on my arm a few years ago." With that, dios took two swipes at the bars, which easily gave way. dios and Falcon ran out of the cell and towards the exit of the station.
I'm sorely disappointed diospadre has resorted to giving himself crossover superpowers just like everyone else. But I can at least respect that he thumbs his nose at the practice while he's doing it. Like I said once before, diospadre is basically Major Asshole, only better.
"Wait, dios, there's something we gotta do first."

********************************************

"Lieutenant, go check on those inmates. I'm going to take a little break." Captain Strong sat down on his chair to play a little EarthBound. He reached down to the system, only to realize the copy of the game was missing. He saw a shadow move past his window. He ran over to it, and saw dios and Falcon running from the station, tossing the game back and forth between them and giggling like schoolgirls. He leaned out and shouted "HEY YOU GUYS!!!" After realizing he had done everything in his power, he sat down and went to sleep.
And thus diospadre and Falcon24 have concluded the jail bit mostly violence-free, as a comedic interlude, exactly the way they would have had guruzeth just kept his mouth shut and said nothing. He did not give diospadre nearly enough credit for his capacity to reliably bring the funny. 

13 June 2018

Posts #1156-1160: 25 May 2000

Post #1156, by Jonathan

Jonathan soon heard about the gathering and joined it. "Maybe I can find a way to get Nintendo here so I can get a copy of Mother 3 for us to play.
Ahh, it's been quite a while since any randoms that I have no recollection of whatsoever have popped in with a two line post just so they could one day tell their grandchildren they posted in the Gathering.



Post #1157, by Falcon24

Falcon strolled out to the front entrance of the Police Station and sat down on a bench. He watched as a shady looking young kid(possibly a member of the Sharks) casually walked up to an old lady and 'relieved' her of her purse. He shook his head, but he vowed not to get involved. Besides, local law enforcement would handle the situation, he thought as he saw an Officer chase the punk down the street.
This is a delightfully passive-aggressive way of loudly rolling his eyes at guruzeth's fanatical pacifism.
Falcon sighed. Fighting was apparently in his blood, yet he didn't have the will to do it anymore. He was grateful for his new friends, but he could not think of any alternative other than combat. It was his state of mind, it was imbued in his very soul. He could not ignore it, and it would not go away.

He looked up to see guruzeth sitting at a table outside the bakery nextdoor to the station. guruzeth looked up from his lunch and stared at him. Falcon shook his head. "I can't just sit here. I'm sorry." He got up, pulled a baseball bat from the holster on his back, and walked back into the station.
To no one's surprise (and this annotator's pleasure,) Falcon24 is telling guruzeth to go f--- himself. The Six Friends have officially fractured and Falcon24 has announced he's starting his own group. Probably (I'm not reading ahead here, and you may be surprised to learn that I don't remember clearly what happens next) diospadre will go with him, the girls will go with guruzeth, and Chris will go off to sulk on his own. 
Falcon24 never saw the IF forum before the Gathering and doesn't understand the context of guruzeth's long feud with Tengu Man and disgust with this thread having basically become yet another Tengu Man and Company Kill Bad Guys and Save the World thread. He just sees guruzeth behaving like a complete douchebag and is responding accordingly. I think I speak for all of us when I say I can't blame him.



Post #1158, by guruzeth

After watching Falcon go back inside the station, guru decided there was no use in hanging around any longer. He rose from the table he was at and began what he knew figured to be a very long walk, about a half mile down the paved road and then turning into the thick jungle.
You'd think guruzeth of all people would know that Onett is situated nowhere within a thousand miles of a jungle. You know he's pretty worked up if he's throwing his prodigious EarthBound knowledge to the wind.
It had been a long journey, and for the most part an enjoyable one. He thought about how he first arrived, confused and disoriented, and then about the journey to and through Scaraba with Tracy, and how they were almost killed on various occasions; he thought about the group they had met up with that were now all inside a police station trying to beat up cops.
I feel the need to interject here and say: to the extent guruzeth was "almost killed" during his too touchy travels with Traceh, it was only by way of circumstances contrived by guruzeth to repeatedly injure himself. At no point was he ever placed in any danger by anything resembling combat, or by any other writer. What in the world is he bitching about? 
He must have read them wrong; he didn't see them to be the violent type. He followed a narrow path through the jungle; as he walked on and on, the forest began to grow thinner. Was he nearing another town..?
guruzeth is actually ditching his group and advertising his willingness to be picked up by another group, which he must know is likely going to include the kiddies. He of course is going to rendezvous with PSI322 almost immediately, but it appears he has no qualms about leaving poor Traceh in the dust.



Post #1159, by Little Yoshi

When Tim came to, he was in a cell. This wasn't much to his suprise, for he expected something like this. He saw Evil Mani Mani just outside the energy bars.
"So, you have awakened?" Evil Mani Mani asked.
"I haveth," Tim replied.
He's aping Frog's botched Shakespearean English from Chrono Trigger, in case you forgot.
"Would you like to know your termination date?"
"Ah, what the heck, sure," Tim said.
"...Well, you won't be terminated. But how would you like to live forever in that cell?" Evil Mani Mani asked, laughing.
"You think my friends won't break me outta here?"
"Well, considering the fact that they probably have no clue of the location of this base, and they are mere weaklings, no,"
The sad thing is that if anyone does attempt to come to his rescue, he will in fact make a point of forcibly demonstrating them to be both stupid and weak, so Liyoshi can look cunning and awesome by comparison. And people keep falling for it! I think the sheer volume of his posts is maintaining the kiddies' attention. It sure as hell lost mine a long time ago.
"Well, you've got another thing coming!"
"Oh I do, do I?" Evil Mani Mani inquired.(I'd continue this if there weren't a thunderstorm right now)
Carolina thunderstorms are nothing to be trifled with, so on this point, at least, I believe him. It goes without saying that he wouldn't dream of just leaving this post in Notepad and coming back to it in an hour. Who knows what new posts might have been made by then that would change everything! If you overlook the fact no one is paying any attention to Liyoshi at all. Liyoshi certainly is not overlooking that fact.



Post #1160, by Pikachu3164

((SuperSpeedy, Pikachu isn't a stupid head. He knows that Mew can learn Transform, along with every TM in the book.))
So there, asshole.
[Bored, bored, bored. Dr. Andonuts, when will the repellant be finished.]

"Cell Extraction/Dissection takes a while. My guess is a few days."

[But I don't have that long! Grr...]

Pikachu, bored, went upstairs. He decided the Mr. Saturn might be able to entertain him.

"BoiNG! eViL STaTue TaKe FRieND oF SMaLL YeLLoW RaT!"

[What?]

"STuPID Rat. You No uNDeRSTaND. eViL MaNi MaNi TaKe FRieND, TiM!"
I'm just shaking my head over here. Why? Why do people want to be friends with Liyoshi? Well, I mean, yeah, a lonely kid is going to be friends with anyone who speaks to them. Even if it's just to say, over and over, "I'm cooler than you. You know I'm cooler than you, right?"
[Great. When does the vacation actually start?]

"NoW! you HaVe No PP! No CaN HeLP FRieND, As HeaLiNG MaCHiNe BRoKeN!"

[Dang. Guess I have to sit here, bored stiff.]
3164's like, "I'm not going to pay attention to you until you pay attention to me!" Or something?

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