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Showing posts with label pogopunk. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pogopunk. Show all posts

20 May 2012

Posts #1016-1020: 15 May 2000

Post #1016, by loid

Randite tries to surpress the laughter, then pulls out the Dual Neutron Oscilating Laser and blasts several holes in his captors before fleeing to saturn valley.

(In other words, the answer is NO)
I really don't want to be a loid fanboy, but damn it, he's making it harder and harder for me to resist. I must confess I can't think of a much better way to handle Mog116's last couple posts than how loid just did. And notice how he continues to keep it brief. No effort wasted on expressing his disgust there.
Although... I cringe to do it, but I have to confess that this is pretty much the low-grammar edition of exactly how Tengu Man would have handled this situation. Stop forcing me to confront my prejudice!
Also, the 'Dual Neutron Oscillating Laser' sounds exactly like something Liyoshi would make up. Liyoshi posted the very next post, but not for 45 minutes after this one went up. I like to think he had a post ready, then read this one and exclaimed 'curse you for your brilliance, loid!' and hastily scrapped together something else.




Post #1017, by Little Yoshi

(Yay! someone remembered something as simple as the name of my boat!)
I also have to acknowledge that's impressive, as it means one would have had to have read a Liyoshi post. Actually it's even more than that; I have (grudgingly) read every word Liyoshi has written so far, and I didn't remember the name of his thrice-damned boat.
"WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED?!" Tim said, overly-concerned about the racket he heard in the middle of the night.
[Kiyo just*snicker*got away with*laugh* Pikachu's*snicker* sound stone.]
"What's so funny, where's Pikachu?" Tim demanded. He didn't mean to be rude to his friend, but he found this as no laughing matter.
[Sorry, I cast*snicker* PSI lol] mog explained.
I think Mog116 was quite clear about the (stupid) capitalization. PSI Lol.
"And Pikachu...?" Tim asked impatiently. Tim never was very patient, as Chris would tell you.
I don't know, you easily wore out all of our patience twice over with that hundreds-of-posts-long Randite/Mani-Mani/whatever-the-hell Battle of Endless Boredom.
[I'm...down...*gasp*]
Tim leapt into the water. Although not a very good swimmer, and he was very sesptical(sp?) to swimmer's ear, Tim looked for his friend.
I think the word he was looking for was 'susceptible'.
It didn't take long to find a yellow body in the water, since there weren't many other bright-colored things. He retrived it, and shot his heal beam at Pikachu several times, reviving him.
[Thanks] Pikachu said, once he was consious.
"Umm, guys, one problem. I only have lodging for 4, sooo, everyone can't spend the night here. Sorry." Tim said.
I remain curious as to how one dives into a body of water and manually pulls out a rat made of electricity without instantly, spectacularly and above all fatally electrocuting himself. But moving right along...
I can't quite tease all the way out why he invoked a Rule of Four here. If he wants to get rid of someone specific (Mog116, most likely) he would have to come up with a much better plan than that, and anyway this is IF and, as PSI322 has demonstrated numerous times, you can't get away from someone who is determined to follow you around. You'd think he'd welcome the popularity. So that explanation doesn't make any sense I can see.
Maybe he's trying to fend off Dark Ton­­® joining the party, but (a) loid already did that, and (b) again, even Liyoshi has to know that ploy isn't going to have a chance of working.
So I don't know. I'd be curious to know if there are any explanations besides 'Liyoshi is being a dick because he is a dick' that make sense.
[This message has been edited by Little Yoshi (edited 05-15-2000).]






Post #1018, by Anthadd

"I've got PSI, it's just assist, though."
"Wonderful..."
Carbon Dog woke up, and leapt.
"Aaaa!" Anthadd cried, flying down and out of the Fire Springs.
AAAAA AAA AAA-AAAAAA AAAA AAAAA!
(Translation: 'Using his top-secret code again.')
"Anthadd!" Sir jumped down and ran after him.
Carbon Dog returned to his Shining Spot.

(Tengu: Since this is MY group, you will NOT be telling ME that I can't say THIS group was defeated, since I have a say in what happens to THIS group.)
I grant you that Anthadd is 100% correct, and I also grant you that it's so obvious what Anthadd must be responding to that you could pretty much write it out yourself; in short, Tengu must have recently written a post saying essentially, 'Um, Anthadd? We already defeated Carbon Dog, and Diamond Dog is my AC now so you can't do that.' I'm about 85% sure guruzeth deleted the Tengu Man post Anthadd is violently responding to here.
So you actually can mark this down as where the team guruzeth vs. Tengu Man Gathering War officially began.




Post #1019, by pogopunk

[yay, i have a way to enter the if again. whoopee, now back off, i'm reviving falcon 24. *snarl*]
Already been done, kiddo. Between this and some of his previous posts, it seems pogopunk was trying hard to endear himself to somebody semi-important.
after much dawdling, pogopunk finally satisfied his hunger and made his way to lumine hall, where he felt that everything would come back to him after his horrific battle with his self.
I honestly don't even remember what happened with his 'horrific' battle with himself, and I am honestly not interested enough to go refresh my memory. Let's move on.
grabbing a few (with few being a lot to others) royal iced teas and some bread rolls and croissants, he made his way back into the heart of eagleland to meet his fate.

after walking for about ten minutes, he became utterly tired and started pouting. "man, who knew walking could be sooo hard..bwarghh" he set out a towel and sipped some iced tea while resting up.
A bad mistake, really. Getting back up and resuming walking after that is going to be torture.
"hmm, any easier ways to get there.." "ah hah! i think i'll just uh, hmm, walk some more?" baffling himself, pogo got up and tiredly began walking again. admiring the wildlife he saw a monkey teleport away. "YESSSSSSSSSSS! i know how to teleport! whoo hoo! why working yourself when you got psychic powers?" chuckling, he revved up, gained up speed, and arrived near the hole to lumine hall.
I'm just as conflicted as I've been throughout these annotations about this. What's better, just to have godly AC superpowers and use them liberally with no explanation (which means no wasting of our time and precious internet bits)? Or to expend said time and precious internet bits to provide some background on why you have godly AC superpowers (and adding some flavor)? I don't know. I can find things to seriously dislike about both strategies. Basically it boils down to whether it entertains me or not. loid's stuff does. pogopunk's stuff doesn't. It just isn't interesting.
"gnarly!" he exclaimed, but he began to blush when a few tendas stared at him and his archaic language.
'Gnarly' is hardly an archaic word. 'Spoony', now that was an archaic word before Final Fantasy IV made it legendary.
"er, i mean, splendid.." dodging their glares, he jumped into the hole.
I can't help but wonder if he thesaurused 'gnarly' to come up with 'splendid'. His writing isn't bad in general, so it's possible he knew 'splendid' all on his own.
gaping, he stared at the magnificent glowing wall. it appeared to sparkle with a certain something, and slowly his thougths appeared on the wall. he let go of himself and let them unfold in front of him.

transfixed for a few hours, pogopunk finally got up, kicking a few fobbies away. "grr, get off of me!" he yelled, slamming one into the wall.
Aw, come on, man. We're supposed to be able to see your thoughts! That's the whole point!
a whole gang suddenly approached him, and pogo panicked. their eyes began to glow, and he felt nervous. quickly teleporting to outside tenda village, he gathered his thoughts. "when i teamed up with falcon..his sound sapper controlled a part of me, and i established a link with him. now i feel a bond with him, and i need to bring him back, although i dont know why" he began, recalling his thoughts. "must find way to revive him, and go from there..." uneasily pogopunk teleported to the site of falcon's demise, near lavos.

[falcon, hope i didnt mess things up for you, your turn to write..haha, try writing after mine and fail horribly!]

[This message has been edited by pogopunk (edited 05-15-2000).]
That reminds me, just how long has it been since pogopunk last posted any substance? Hold on, I'll go check...
OK, got it. His last post was #844, where he actually was in Summers and just about to set up for Lumine Hall. So score a point for continuity there. It seems to have pretty much been his intention to continue trying to ingratiate himself to Falcon24, and he's ignoring loid's insta-revival to follow through with it.




Post #1020, by loid

Meahnwhile, inside Lavos

"Well um, master Lavos" said Randite "Everythings fine, just fine. I have the rodents sound stone. There's no problems."
Good to see the grammar-free loid is back to stay. I seriously suspect a different person was writing loid's posts during that spell when he suddenly became (and remained) a suspiciously competent writer.
"YOU LIE....I CAN SEE YOUR THOUGHTS"
"Well uh, there is this one thing, you see I controll this body only at night and I-"
"WHAT! Wait, this could be of use. Listen Randite, I want you to...."
Yeah, but if Lavos can see his underling's thoughts, what's the point in even talking to him? And since when does Lavos speak English at all, anyway?
[We have to get the sound stone back, Randite coul- RANDITE! YOU SCRAWNY LITTLE-]
"Pikachu! Cool it! AHH! Those thunderbolts hurt! I faught Randite in Magicant and I'm myself agian"
[And the sound stone?]
"Lavos got it."
[Oh well, Ton you break your sound stone in half.]
Wait, what? Why?
They all went to their rooms on the Yoshi except for Ra- I mean Kiyo (whoops) who had to camp outside with Pikachu due to lack of rooms.
"Heh, gulible little rodent."
[Did you say something Kiyo?]
"No, just thinking outloud."
loid appears to be taking the opportunity to express that he's not a big Pikachu3164 fan. At least that's my takeaway from this post.
And that concludes yet another page of the Gathering. Next time we'll get started on our next chunk of 40 posts, wherein Falcon24 officially makes his, er, glorious return, and some girls do some girl things. Page 6 is going to be a treat, as the guruzeth-Tengu Man bickering is going to really pick up steam.

12 November 2011

Posts #841-845: 5 May 2000

Post #841, by Gauntlet Wizard

Siris, Alan, and Osman were sitting on a bench in Fourside, pondering their next move. All of a sudden a figure fell from the sky. It was Mog! He landed next to the bench and was pretty bruised up.
I don't know, I guess the insecure needy kids have to take care of each other.
Siris immediately dropped to the ground over Mog and uttered an incantation of healing. Immediately, white swirls of energy were emitted from Siris's hands and into Mog's body, healing him. Mog rose to his feet.
You know, just once I want to see someone take a shot at creating an RPG-type video game that doesn't include supernatural healing. I don't even know how conceptually you can pull that off, but I am disappointed no one better at game design than myself has ever given it a try.
"What are you doing here?" Osman asked.
"Lavos... and... uh..." Mog tried to reply, but was still pretty weak.
"Oh well," Siris said. "You can come with us if you want, I guess."
(You don't mind, do you, Osman or Alan?)
As usual, I don't expect SaturnAl will reappear until the rest of his team gives up and forgets about him.




Post #842, by Pikachu3164
Oh $DEITY, it's the Emo Kid Bat Signal. Dammit, Mog.
Pikachu all of a sudden had a grave feeling. Even though he was in a forest in Magicant, he knew someone was in grave danger... Mog!
If only we'd thought to shove somebody's neck under a guillotine so that person would have been in even greater danger than Mog and therefore 3164 would have noticed him instead, we could have averted this.
Even though he was saved by Siris, he didn't know if people really cared for him. So, he decided to let Mog know that people did care.
Pikachu prayed with all his heart!
The Gathering is turning into a Lifetime Special now.
All of a sudden, Mog got the feeling that people cared about him.

And Mog was happy.
This would be a brilliantly hilarious post if you forgot 3164 was writing it and pretended it was all sarcasm.
[This message has been edited by Pikachu3164 (edited 05-09-2000).]





Post #843, by Mog116

(Yeah thanks. Oh. My head is killing me. I just fell down some stairs. Pikachu,Siris healed me. Even though, I'm pulling Mog outta this for a while.)
Is this where I say thanks, or is it more polite to send a card?
Mog got up. (I'm am so sick of saying Mog all the time.)
This is apparently an effort at transferring his AC making friends, however tenuously, in the Gathering to actually making real life (if only internet) friends. It kind of hurts to read. This kid was lonely. 
He looked at Siris, Osman, and Alan. Then he almost fainted. Even though Siris healed him, he could barely hear out of his left ear, couldn't think straight, and had big bruises all over. About 12 of his teeth were missing, and his tongue was bleeding. [oof. Where's the hopsalit?]
If you ever wondered just what the hell goes on inside the head of a kid that cuts himself for attention... now you know. 
"What's a 'hopsalit'" [A hopsalit. I's where eople go to et eeled] "Dude! I think he means Like, hospital."
It's loid's best effort at spelling 'hospital', I'm pretty sure.
After They got Mog to the hospital, Mog fell unconcious.

[[Mog's Dream]]

[What?] [Where amI] ]You are in Magicant[ [I thought I couldn't go there again.] ]It's Not yours. It is...]

(Noone fill in the blank. I need to know if I can switch ACs. Y'know, pull out Mog, and put in Someone else. I might not want to though)
I think he's just bitter at Tengu Man and lashing out at Tengu Man's AC-controlling tendencies.




Post #844, by pogopunk

[my ac is basically my real life me, i have no idea what has been going on and i'm lost in the if..oi!]
That's an adequate description of everyone in this story. Well, except Tengu Man, whose AC is a dream-projection device and who knows exactly what's going on in the IF. At least the part of it he cares about.
dazed, and horribly baffled, pogopunk awoke to the sound of the crashing waves, the surf tickling his feet. he sat up, feeling disoriented, and having no recollection of anything that happened before.
Well, this is a first: Someone trying to provide an in-character justification for not reading any of the last two hundred posts. It appears pogopunk made a conscious "f*** it" decision and is now going to reboot the whole thing.

By the way, after a brief lull where it got down to 20 posts a day or so, the Gathering is back to roaring along at a post every 10-15 minutes for hours on end. As you've surely noticed if you've been paying attention to the datestamps I put in the post titles.
the one thing he did know, was that he was hungry, and he lumbered over to get some food. snacking on some braised boa over minced baby leeks, he gazed out at the beach front, staring at the horizon.
That was a tremendous EarthBound reference. He even got the phrase exactly right, straight down to the spelling.
he suddenly had the sudden need to visit a place called "lumine hall" where he somehow knew that everything would come together there.
And he got Lumine Hall right too! Give that man a cigar!




Post #850, by Traceh

Tracy looked up from the mezmorizing sand. "Hey! Boats!" she exclaimed as she sprinted towards the docks.

"Wait! Hold on just one second there. How do you expect to pay?" guru asked with a look of doubt.
Pay? Why in the world would an AC pay for anything? Infinite money--talk about a boring way to manifest AC God Mode. But brief and to the point. You have to give it that.
She dug into her backback searching for the answer to the situation at hand. "No problemo, I got it covered...I think." Tracy fond it and her eyes lit up. She yanked it out. "THIS, that I have here in my hand, is a spork. Not just any spork, but a monument to inefficiency! The prongs are too long to be a good spoon, yet too short to be a good fork!(heheh)Im sure we can trade this puppy for a boat trip."
Sporks were an inside joke between Traceh and guruzeth. She wrote that knowing no one but guruzeth would get it. Of course I know that because I was there and I remember it.
Makes me wonder how many of the bizarre things I make fun of now were actually inside jokes that I was never in on.
"Wow," guru shrugged,"that really is a wonder. Letts try it out."
I feel like if they don't figure out a way to make Traceh's spork the Artifact of Doom around which the whole story ends up revolving, they have failed.
Sandles scuffing on the wood of the dock, they made their way towards the short, bearded man overseeing the boats who proceded to ramble on about his wife.
Traceh's sandles. I wouldn't be caught dead wearing the things. 
After a bit of sweet-talking by guruzeth (needed after a fatal attempt at 'brute force' on the old man) they were able to get a spot on a small rickity ship.
This sentence is hilarious on so many levels. Here, I have a few minutes so I'll list a few of them. See how many more you can spot!
1. guruzeth was always very fond of brute force as the solution to all problems. ("If brute force doesn't solve your problem," he said often, "you're not using enough." And as you know if you were ever around the forums or #earthbound back then, he meant it. But the notion he would fail at brute force and then succeed at sweet talking is pretty LOL.
2. If guruzeth's attempt at brute force was fatal, as Traceh asserts, that means either guruzeth or the old man in question is dead. And guruzeth is an AC; Q.E.D., the old man guruzeth is sweet-talking is now a corpse. Which leaves them free to help themselves to the boat, so brute force wins again! Of course they know how to sail a boat that usually requires a crew of eight with just the two of them. They're ACs.
3. Traceh is the first writer to go out of her way to put her AC on a "small rickety ship", rather than a battleship or luxury cruise liner, when given a chance.
They climbed aboard. Tracy noticed the bearded man had a strange look in his eye but thought nothing of it. "This isnt a flippin` horror movie so calm down!" she thought to herself.
Yeah, that's never going to come up again. 
"I really hope this little boat is stable enough to get us there," said guru.
Which naturally means it is not. Shipwreck in 3..2..1...
Tracy pulled out a small bottle of purified water and gulped it down without hesitation. "Excuse me, where can we find a map, sir?" she asked the captain.

18 June 2011

Posts #796-800: 3-4 May 2000

Post #796, by Mog116

Pikupo blowed straight past The huge Electro Spector. He was in no mood to fight. He held up his sound stone.
The endless game of Follow The Leader that is the IF forum continues. You wonder why they even bother acknowledging Electro Specter's alleged existence anymore.
Pikupo's Stone Absorbed the power of Lumine hall. Pikupo ran down the hole and past all the Tenda villages. He ran into the wall by Hotdog. (Like diamond dog)
Um... do you mean Carbon Dog? Or...?
-Pikupo used Blazing Kupo Tackle-
-9999 damage to Hotdog-
-Hotdog used PSI Sparkly-
-Pikpo took 9999 damag-
-Pikupo used Blazing Kupo Punch-
-9999 damage to Hotdog-
Pikupo's sound stone absorbed the power of Fire Springs. Pikupo blacked out. Mog awoke to find himself in
Well, hopefully the gods will smile upon us and that will be the end of the Pikupo silliness for a while.
And that's not an editing error; he didn't finish the sentence. Typically you'd want to put an ellipsis in there, but it's not like it's any great mystery where he's going. That's right: exactly where six other ACs have already been!
[This message has been edited by Mog116 (edited 05-04-2000).]




Post #797, by guruzeth
The most exciting development in 500 posts--the evil supreme-dictator-for-life of the starmen.net forums has returned to the forums, and to the Gathering, after an extended absence. And he's here to stay.
I guess we need a brief introduction to guruzeth. He first turned up at earthbound.net in late summer 1999, and within a week or two was running the EarthBound Trivia/Contests section of the site, which makes sense since he was, far and away, the premier EarthBound expert in the world. No one else was close.
That's all well and good, right? I mean, the premier EarthBound expert should run the trivia contest for the premier EarthBound site. Makes sense. Except that within a couple of weeks he was a moderator on the forums and an op in #earthbound. We're talking just a few weeks from total unknown to member of the inner circle power base. And just a couple weeks more and he was the administrator of the forums and the owner of #earthbound. Which is to say, he was Supreme-Dictator-For-Life of the EarthBound community.

This was, and here I am using dramatic understatement, a Bad Idea. Because guruzeth, while shrewd and smart, yes, was a relentlessly arrogant prick. He was the friend of most of the staffers, moderators and ops, and the mortal-enemy-for-life of everyone else. His presence instantly fractured everything he was around into pro-guruzeth and anti-guruzeth groups. And yes, that will happen to the Gathering in short order, too. That's good news for us, because the comedy is going to be awesome.

The story has a semi-happy ending: after a few years he left starmen.net and never really returned, and the site was much better off for it. And after a few more years, he finally grew up and chilled out. And now he is annotating the Gathering and may or may not finish before his wife divorces him.
And the most tragically comical part of all this? Well... you know PSI322, right? Probably the nicest person that ever logged onto the internet? She was fiercely loyal to guruzeth. It didn't become common knowledge until around the time the Gathering ended, but the nicest person in starmen.net history and the rudest person in starmen.net history were in an e-lationship going back to late 1999. Now brace yourselves for a shock, kids: it didn't work out. Brace yourselves for an even bigger shock: it didn't work out because guruzeth, in the end, was an unspeakable jackass to her.
Anyway, bear in mind as you read the Gathering that it's not just your mind playing tricks on you; there was something going on between those two.
And while I'm here, since I'm sure PSI322 will read this sometime before Al Gore takes down the internet, I will leave a personal note: I'm sorry.
OK, back to viciously making fun of 12-year-olds that didn't know any better. And Chris.
guruzeth wandered into the ruins of a building where he thought the SM.Net Gathering, for which he was a month late, was being held.
Not quite a month, actually. Just short of four weeks.
"Hello? Where is everyone?" He heard only the echo of his own voice.

"Hmm, this is weird..." He began to look around, wandering outdoors towards the beach in Fiveville, since he was slightly off-track as to where he thought he was going.

Suddenly, something caught his eye. Did something move..?
Yeah, not much of a post, but you have to start somewhere. Also note that guruzeth is doing the same thing a lot of people did when they first showed up: immediately toss in a line to see who might be interested in accompanying him. He did it a lot more skillfully than most of the others, granted--note the rarely seen correct way to leave a post open-ended for someone else to easily follow up on--but still, I declare he sucks at life if his next post isn't (a) within a day and (b) doing something, if no one joins him. Which is unlikely because, asshole though guruzeth may be, he is the power at starmen.net, and everyone likes power.




Post #798, by SirMontyG

Smoke slowly lifts over the scene, as we see Sir run from the remains of a tatered BMW Z8. "Sonofa...!!" Sir leaps into the air just in front of the impending explosion. "never press the red button...never press the red button..." Sir layed on the sand, muttering some sound advice for himself, useful only 5 minutes in the past, of course.
Men In Black reference, presumably.
"Man, driving a cool car isn't worth it when the guy tailing you leaves the picture. Where'd you run to, Skittleboy? Ahh, anyways, I've run myself into a desert and I've gotta get out. Heh, way to blow up your only transportation, Scruffy." (as you can tell, Sir talks to himself if no one else is around)
(that's cool with us, it's better than what Liyoshi does when no one else is around)
"Well, civilization or burst.." Sir got up, slung his backpack over his sholder, walked to the side of the road and promptly stuck out his thumb. "hope someone comes my way. For an island, this looks like a pretty long walk..."
Also a pretty good way to leave a post open-ended and see who turns up. I have little doubt that Major Asshole will have no problem forging on alone if no one joins him shortly.




Post #799, by pogopunk

[ok, i havent exactly been paying too much attention to whats been happening, so forgive me. gah, i think i have to go catch up with somoeone i can understand the storyline too. and ihope i dont ruin it either..also, love that twist dhsu, although i cant imagine how that will work itself in.]
Hey, baby-eater boy is back! But he hasn't read enough to realize dhsu's idiotic "twist" got shot down like a Mexican drug plane in Chinese airspace.
praying for tim's safety had reawakened the sane part of pogopunk, and a battle erupted inside his brain. the insane and sane had begun a raging battle inside his head, and it wasnt pretty.
Aww. Here I was thinking his prayer consisted solely of "Baby-eater baby-eater baby-eater baby-eater..."
"come on pogo, we have to go help our friends," said tsuramisea, urging him to go on.

"grr, baby-EAtEr, no, not, eater..out, please" pogopunk struggled to regain control.

"pogopunk!" tsuramisea said, becoming more concerned. "we need to get going! will you be okay?"
Remember, this is the dude who ditched Luna. Now look where he is.
the normal part of pogopunk awakened, and it managed to get out a single phrase before the struggle began again, "please, tsurami, you..must..agh, go on, help...fr..i..e.nds..dont worry about me..do it!"
Maybe he's having second thoughts and thinking about going back Luna's way?
bewildered, tsuramisea stared at pogopunk, before regretfully turning around, heading off, "well, ok, take care of yourself..i'll come check on you later," he said, tossing a bottle of water to pogo's crumpled figure.

after tsuramisea had left, pogopunk stood on the beach, looking tranfixed. inside his dual personalities faced off in a horrific clash. you will not win. madness shall rule all. it is decreed already. give up now, or suffer said the insane. never! i will not let chaos rule the world, or myself.
There really needs to be a "BABY-EATER!" or two thrown in here somewhere. C'mon, pogo, where's your funny genes?
go away now, or be severly punished said the normal section. the two went back and forth on this, and they began to fight. no one appeared to gain the upper hand, and pogo's physical body became weak and defeated. finally, with its last ounce of strength, the saneness sent out a final blow that destroyed the insane, but also destroyed itself almost. this final attack caused pogopunk to collapse, on the beach front, the snowy tv screen eerily crackling. his mind lay dormant, yet it wasnt, and he lay there, zombified, his eyes glazed over staring into the calm clouds.
It's going to be awesome if guruzeth stumbles over him there.  
...And then screams "BABY-EATER!" at him and walks on.
[This message has been edited by pogopunk (edited 05-04-2000).]

Post #800, by Little Yoshi

It clicked.
"Of course!" Tim said out loud.
"Fool-!"
"Is that your favorite phrase, or something?"
"FOOL!" Mani mani said, catching Tim off guard and delivering a mortal blow to the face.
"This battle is over!" Mani Mani bellowed
"I declare the winner is..."The Apple of Enlightment started.
Tim drank some more water, while his HP fell below 200.
Tim recovered 41 PP!
"..."
The words fell out of his mouth just before death.
"...Life...Up..Gam...ma..."Tim uttered his seemingly final sentence. Tim then collapsed.

"All too*wheeze* easy!" Mani Mani sneered.

Suddenly, LifeUp Gamma kicked in. Tim leapt to his feet, and prepared to attack.

"Remember? You cannot hurt me! All sanctuary attacks are nulified, and I have a Power Shield! Mwa ha ha!

Tim had completley remembered. Tim rose into the air.

"PSI Yoshi Alpha!!" Tim shouted. (his special)

"OWWWW!" Mani Mani screamed in pain.

"Alright. Before thine time shalt cometh, I shalt reveal mine true self to you." Mani Mani said, darkly.
Well, he's at least sticking in flavor to Chrono Trigger, in which Frog butchers King James English. If he wants to go King James, that should read "Before thy time cometh, I shall reveal my true self to thee." "Mine" in the place of "my" (or "thine"/"thy") only happens when the next word leads with a vowel.
Back at the Lavos sene, Lavos suddenly disappeared, and the Mani Mani Statue appeared there.

In the Cafe Basement, Lavos appaered. They returned to their original positions, and The Apple of Enlightment changed to Magus's Theme music.
Pissing people off is always an easy way to get attention.
"I have the power of millions of worlds, and expierence of thousands of beings. Take this basement from me, if you dare,"
A black swirl enveloped the area.
With only one attack, and fighting a being that was somehow connected to Lavos, this didn't look good for Tim.
The Randite Statue attacked!
Randites are something Tengu Man was always going on and on about. I'm sure we'll hear a lot more about them soon.

23 May 2011

Posts #635-642: 25 April 2000

Post #635, by Anthadd

Anthadd emerged from the forest, battered and bruised, but nonetheless overjoyed to have escaped from the torture of the inner sanctum of Eagleland Island.
"Make note: In future, refrain from descending into the bowels of large, tropical islands."
Well, he cooled off and realized stomping his feet and leaving was kind of childish, but he's making no bones about how stupid he thinks the violence is.


Post #636, by SirMontyG

(Hey, I was remembered in a flashback! Coool...)

Sir looked at his fellow knights and said "Hey, EBGuy, Svb, it's fun making sensless posts and quipping Python for no apperent reason, but I think this adventure don't call for it. Sorry about that, but post a new IF about something completly diffrent (get it?) and I'm there. Later!" And Sir left and went back to talk to Chris. "Hey, gonna do that improv thing soon?" Sir pulled up a rock
Apparently Major Asshole concurs with Anthadd. I wasn't expecting that.


Post #637, by EBPoo

After FINALLY landing in his homeland of Dalaam, Poo got out of the Skyrunner II as a crowd of girls gathered around him. "Ooo...Poo, you are such a hunk!" said one girl.
Hahaha. After all, there's no point in playing Poo if you don't bask in the worship of all the exotic Dalaamese girls.
"Sorry girls, but I have to check on something quite important," Poo said as he headed for Pink Cloud. The first thing Poo noticed was fallen bunny statues. That was not a good sign. Entering the cave, Poo found a large mass of cave where Pink Cloud used to be. "Falc--Fa--Falc...WHAT DID HE DO???" screamed Poo.
I'm scratching my head because, didn't we already do all of this like 150 posts ago? Seems like Poo's out of ideas.


Post #638, by Luna

Luna rolled ove n her towel on the sunny beach of the island eagleland, just outside the sm.net hotel. Beside her was her back pack containing all her stuff, including the sound stone with one melody. Suddenly, it hit her. The only melody that hadn't been collected... was the milky well melody!
"I gotta go get it!" She said to herself, and jumped up, and looked over at pogopunk, playing in the sand.
"You wanna come?" Luna asked
"Never! Ya baby eater!" Pogo yelled back in a fit of insanity.
Then I might suggest poor pogo suffers from a lot of fits of insanity.
"...I'll take that as a no..." Luna mumbled to herself and grabbed her backpack. Soon she had teleported to the Mr. Saturn vally, and was staring at a coffee-drinking Mr. Saturn.
So, yeah. After pogo made himself unpleasant several times over, Luna finally gave up and ditched him. Well played, pogo.
"AiEeEeEe! YoU sCaRe Mr. SaTuRn, BoInG!" It screamed at her.
"Uh... sorry!"
"PrObLeM, nO! bEaT bIg SpRoUt YoU wIlL?"
This is a very poor effort at Saturnspeak.
"Right.. yeah... Well, I gotta get going! I have a huge plant to burn to tiny crispies!" Luna grinned at the Mr. Saturn, and ran off into the cave.
I have a feeling she won't be alone by the time she gets there.
"HmMmMmMmMm... StRoNg OnE, sHe!" the Mr. Saturn whispered to itself before going back to the coffee it was drinking.
By the way, you might not get the joke if I don't explain it to you: the "coffee" in Saturn Valley is laced with powerful hallucinogenic drugs.


Post #639, by Mog116

"Wait for me!" Mog was right behind Luna, who was about ready to go get the melody.
"Can I come?"

(Luna can answer only.)
Yeah... that didn't last long at all. Mog likely as not won't be the only one to tag along here. I wouldn't even rule out pogopunk scampering back.


Post #640, by pogopunk

pogopunk sat there on the beach, just randomly calling people baby-eaters. he was enjoying himself quite well, and gleefully laughed at other's reaction.
If he actually tried this, he would get his ass kicked inside 15 minutes.
However, one person (anonymous..likes to go up to houses and feed other people's babies, maybe to fatten them up) got angry at him and beat pogopunk up.
Haha! That was awesome. 
unconcious, pogopunk mumbled pants and baby-eater while he was in a coma. when he came to, he had turned maniacal, screaming out baby-eater often, and willing to do anyone's bidding.
Turned?
the real him sat in a secluded corner of his mind, hoping for goodness to set him free...

[note: since i'm not posting, i just hope this will add a twist. anyone can do anything with me, i dont care. eventually i'll be back to normal..after i get a couple laughs outta this ]
I would love to know what the hell he was smoking when he wrote this. I think pogopunk's my new favorite poster, at least in Chris's absence.
[This message has been edited by pogopunk (edited 04-25-2000).]


Post #641, by Falcon24

Falcon, still in disguise, stomped around the island in a rage. "Unbelievable! There HAS to be a way up there...wherever it is...if only I could find someone to show me where it is!" Suddenly, an unseen force enveloped him. An unfathomable power penetrated his very being.
Amazing how fast an AC gets exactly what he wants, isn't it? 
His mind began to surge, scenes from past, present, and future raced across it. "What..what's this? I can see everything." Falcon saw Darth's group teleporting to Fire Springs. He followed the group, riding the backlash of the teleport to their original destination.
He pulled this trick 200 posts ago to use out of character knowledge in character, and it was just as lame then as it is now.
"The...Giygan Spaceship? Amazing....thank you, Master Lavos. Now lets see, it seems to be...there." Falcon turned and dashed through the underbrush, heading for the Giygan Spaceship. However, he was unaware that it was not Lavos who showed him the location of the Spaceship...
Well, I have to give him credit there: that was a nice end-of-post hook. Though it belongs at the end of a fanfic chapter, not an IF post, seeing as how no other poster can do anything with it.


Post #642, by Mani Mani

Back in Twoson...

The group had decided to rest for a while, before they went to try and confront Lavos.
Hey, no rush, he's only eating the planet and getting stronger. Take a vacation! He'll still be there when you're ready. 
Ness and Paula went off on their own somewhere (much to the annoyance of Matt), and Mani decided to visit Burglin Park. She didn't know what the others decided to do.
Nice middle finger to PP/QC there. Maybe Mani Mani was a different person from Tengu Man, but you will never convince me Tengu wasn't behind that.
When she got to the park, the first thing she did was go to the Fresh Egg stand and buy an egg (she'd gotten a share of the money from the fighting they'd done).
To be honest, most IF posters grasp that no one really cares where you got your money. You're an AC, that you have infinite money is assumed, or if you don't, that you'll happily commit theft and/or armed robbery is assumed. 
While waiting for it to hatch into a cute lil' chick, she wandered around, gazing at the various stands that had before only been fantasy to her. She saw a Runaway Dog, but she didn't know it was an enemy.
One of the funniest things in EarthBound is what happens if you use a Chick: You get the message, "Seeing chicks makes you happy."
"Ohh, it's a doggie with glasses! How cute!...wait a minute--OW! He bit me!" She thwacked it with her staff and it ran off whimpering. She felt more experienced.
If you don't believe her, grab the nearest staff, head out into the neighborhood and try it for yourself. Trust me, when you beat a dog over the head with a staff, you will feel distinctly more experienced. 
"Cool! I won a battle all by myself! Okay, okay, so maybe that wasn't the toughest bad guy..." She went into Everdred's house to see if he was there, but he wasn't. She wasn't sure she wanted to meet him anyway.
Fun fact: Everdred is the only human enemy in EarthBound that tries to bite you. So yeah. Probably for the best she didn't encounter him.
As she came out of the house, she spotted Jeff over by one of the stands, looking at some broken items. Trying to act cool and casual, she walked around behind him to his other side before approaching.
"Hey, Jeff." He looked up.
"Oh, hi Mani."
"Buying anything?" He shrugged.
"Most of the items here are pretty weak." He ignored the "Hey!" from the stand owner.
"Oh. I bought a Fresh Egg - I want to hatch a chick."
"Oh, really? Can I see?"
I have my doubts Jeff would be the slightest bit interested in an egg, or a chick. (And I mean that last word in both conceivable ways. Things were different in 1995, but EarthBound was, for the time, fairly unambiguous about the fact Jeff was gay.)
"Sure." She held it out to him and he took it. After inspecting it for a moment, he nodded.
"It looks good. Here you go." As he handed it back to her, her hand (slightly sweaty from nervousness ) slipped and she started to drop it. Jeff caught it.
In point of fact, this annotator has personally proven that an egg can be thrown across a room and successfully caught without breaking it. 
"Careful!" She tried hard to keep from blushing. As he was gently tipping it into her hand from his, he stopped suddenly, looking at it.
"Hey...it's hatching!" Mani exclaimed. Sure enough, the shell cracked open and out popped an adorable yellow chick - in Jeff and Mani's hands. "Aww...it's so cute." Mani looked at Jeff's hand and giggled a little, since it was still touching hers at a tilt.
"Oh." He picked up the chick with his other hand, withdrawing the first one, and put it in Mani's. "I believe this is yours?" They looked at each other for a moment - and then laughed.

(Yes, I know this is a long post, and yes, I know it's probably totally pointless. But I'm just having a little fun, so nya. :P)
Don't worry, Mani. It fits right in, here in the Gathering! And who knows, maybe Chris will give it a read or two and get to thinking.

21 May 2011

Posts #628-632: 25 April 2000

Post #628, by SaturnAl

After an hour of surfing, Alan thought he should catch up with Osman. All of a sudden, Alan saw a gold statue-Alan's nightmare!
"Dude! What a tubular statue!"
Tubular (adj) Of or pertaining to a tube. (Seriously.) 
"Like, I am not a statue, man. I'm your dark side. I'm that tsunami that'll take you sometime."
"No way! I can surf any wave!"
I am genuinely curious about how SaturnAl became this obsessed with surfing. I would also be curious as to whether he had, at this point, ever actually surfed in his brief life. I'd give odds of 4-to-3 against.
With all that anger, Alan became conscious of a new PSI--Tsunami
Alan used PSI Tsunami! 1300 HP of damage to Alan's nightmare!
Alan's Nightmare used PSI shield Beta! He was protected by the psychic power shield!
With all his might, Alan took his surf board, and whacked the nightmare with the fin. SMAAAAAASH! 978 HP of damage to Alan's Nightmare! You Win!

After the battle, Alan saw Osman and his Nightmare.
"PSI TSUNAMI!"
If I were PSIOsman, in my next post I would get killed by the PSI Tsunami. You've got to take these guys away from what they expect. Make them think.
...to be continued





Post #629, by PajamaManV4M

(well, my plot is starting to get smelly, so I want to join another part.)
By "smelly" he presumably means "dead" or "ignored". The parenthetical comment is unnecessary, as reading the post would make obvious that he is abandoning his attempt at starting a plotline and tagging along elsewhere.
Zakk, PajamaMan, and Moo-Heimer continued through the Lumine Hall. It was completely empty. Zakk seemed to become the all-powerful leader, and PajamaMan and Moo-Heimer were just little sidekicks. As they took another turn, Zakk made more weird expressions on his face as if he was sensing something. All of a sudden, he turned around.
I still have no clue who Zakk is.
"I sense evil. Very large evil power."
With that, Zakk busted through the roof of Lumine Hall, and headed towards Lavos.

(is this OK?)
Noooo! Don't show weakness. Now they'll pounce and tear you to shreds. 



Post #630, by pogopunk

satisfied that F4lx0r had departed, pogopunk settled down in his recliner and went back to sleep. he had just about dozed off when an oozy, slimy, plate of jell-o landed on his face. "ooooooh.." he moaned.

"heheehehehe" luna snickered, and she ran off. turning over, he started sleeping, unfazed by the jell-o. it started spreading around him, and by the time he woke up, it had covered him completely. groaning, he went upstairs and took a shower. he thought he could hear luna chortling nearby.
Add that to the "I can't believe he got that past PSI322" file. 
after he got back out, he went to the beach, and listlessly played with the sand, bored. his only joy was screaming "baby eater!" to the various passerbys. "hee, hee, hee" he giggled, laughing at their misery.
I do not think anyone's reaction to a 12-year-old screaming "baby eater!" at them would be misery. It would range from "scurry away and possibly notify the police" to "grab him by the ear, toss him around a bit and look for his parents". 
[this marks the going-away of me for awhile. i just dont find this fun anymore. maybe if something interesting happens, i'll post again. bet you wont miss me! ]
That's the third poster to proclaim he's leaving forever and don't try to change my mind I'm dead set on it I'm leaving now bye. Like the other two, he'll stay away for no more than 20 or 30 posts. If that.



Post #631, by Anyone

AnyoneEB appeared near the rock where Chis and co. were 'resting' and asked where's the action? He found that he sould join Pajama Man in Lumine Hall and teleported immeditialy. He asked if he could join their group and help get the Lumine Hall medialy.

(Wait a minute, someone already got it!)
The odd thing is that this post was not edited after being posted, meaning he knew Team PajamaMan was already to Lumine Hall and gone, but posted this anyway. Bizarre.

Also bizarre: I don't know why AnyoneEB dropped the EB from his user name when he registered on the new Starmen.Net forums.



Post #632, by TsuramiSea
Oh god. Get ready for it. TsuramiSea was possibly the most prominent of the Tengulings, and he resembled Tengu Man more than any other poster that wasn't actually Tengu Man multi-accounting. He didn't have Tengu Man's controlling personality, but he could nearly match his writing skills, and he usually wrote very... very... long... posts. And generally he aligned with Tengu Man in every thread, and was the designated guy that talked to guruzeth and tried to convince him Tengu wasn't a bad guy. Didn't work. Eventually that got Tsurami shunned and then banned; actually, if I recall correctly, it will be later in the Gathering that he and guruzeth flip out and get in a piss-fight. Good times coming!

I won't be annotating this very long post very much. Just thought I should give you an introduction to a guy that will be one of the major players in this thing from here forward.
(Back on the shore of Eagleland Island....)

A boat pulled up to the side of Eagleland Island. A single figure stepped off, and the boat pulled away. It was a boy dressed in long clothes (not very befitting of the heat there) and sneakers. He glanced around. He was finally on "Eagleland Island". He had found out about this place on SM.Net. A big fan gathering was to be held here. However, he was days late, and it was almost over. Before he got ready to go, he had to beg and plead his parents to let him go, promising he'd be okay and that he'd come home safely. Then, using a weird teleport device he got from UPS, he transported himself to the official "Eagleland Island ferry" that the SM.Net staff had set up. He was glad to have such an easy way to get to the island. He wasn't sure whether or not he would be given a ride home or not after it was all over, but he didn't worry about that at the moment. He walked along the shore of the beach with a suitcase and a backpack on his back. "Hello?" he called out. "Where the heck is the big party? HELLO?" Nobody answered. "Pfffft, I guess I have to find it myself...." The boy walked along the beach until he came to a solitary figure sitting upon a rock.
Not very exciting, but you see that the above is actually a structured, on-point paragraph, which marks it as about the fourth such paragraph in the Gathering so far. I also notice--I don't remember noticing this at the time--Tsurami seems to write in long strings of short sentences. I think there are more periods in the above post than in every loid post combined.
"Hello there," said the figure, another boy, with a smile. "Who are you?"
"Hi," said the first boy nervously. "I'm wondering if you know about the SM.Net gathering on this island?"
"Sure! I was one of the people in charge. You might know me as Chris, moderator on the SM.Net forums." He extended his hand.
You'll also note that Tsurami, unlike almost everyone else, is willing to wade right in and write dialogue for an AC that his AC had not spoken with before. Most people avoided that for a good reason: it carried a high risk of pissing off the other poster.
The first boy shook Chris's hand. "Hello."
"Who are you?" asked Chris.
The boy looked at the ground and said, "I'm TsuramiSea." He said it in a very plain way.
Well, it does make sense, since Tsurami's writing style, while refreshingly coherent, is also very plain.
Chris looked him over. "So, you're TsuramiSea, huh?" He laughed. "You're not as hyper as you act online."
Oh god yes. Actually, Tsurami on the IF board was usually almost Anthaddian in his seriousness and attentiveness. This marked him as very, very different from Tsurami on the other forums and in #earthbound, where he was a typical hyperactive 12-year-old with a twist of Tengu for seasoning. I think this dichotomy developed mostly because when he wrote on IF he was emulating Tengu Man, who he kind of idolized.
"No, that's for sure," remarked TsuramiSea. "So, where is the big party?"
"Disbanded," explained Chris in one word.
"WHAT?!" shouted TsuramiSea, startling Chris with the sudden loudness. "I came all the way here and missed it?! I guess I should've known it was a waste of my time!"
"Wait a minute, it's not over," interrupted Chris. "Actually, it's supposed to be still going on. It's just that everyone else left. They forgot about the party and went to explore the island."
"Explore the island? Some party activity," mumbled TsuramiSea.
Chris smirked. "It's because Eagleland Island contains the REAL Eagleland on it inland, as well as Foggyland and Chommo."
I have no foggy idea what Foggyland and Chommo are. But he forgot to mention the Chrono Trigger crossover everyone else is bananas about right now.
TsuramiSea blinked. After some moments, he remarked, "Wow, a video game I like turns out to exist on our world. Pretty weird. So, what time frame is Eagleland in right now?"
Chris sighed. "Well, Ness and the others weren't up and saving the world, but another evil was attacking. So we had to go collect the Melodies. Then Falcon24 showed up, but he's evil for some reason, so he wants to destroy the world. And now Lavos came down when Falcon24 summoned him."
TsuramiSea frowned. "Falcon24 always did seem a little volatile. Oh well.
Hahahaha! You noticed, huh? Can't slip anything past ol' Tsurami.
If everyone's trying to save the world, why are you here all alone?""I got tired of adventuring," shrugged Chris, "so I just came back here to think about what's happened. I suppose you'll want to explore Eagleland too?"
TsuramiSea thought for a moment, and looked at his backpack. Then he answered, "Nah.... I brought along my mallet for fun, but I'm not a real hero. I'd probably be a coward in a real dangerous situation like this. I'll just stay here."
Chris seemed pleased. "Great. Maybe you'll join me, and we can talk?"
TsuramiSea smiled a little. "Well, that sounds all right... but first I want to see what the party was like. Where are the main area and the buildings? I'm assuming we weren't staying outside the whole time."
Let's think about why Tsurami seems so intent on befriending Chris (with or without Chris's approval for the moment.) Is it...
a. Because he, like, Chris, finds the violence detestable?
b. Because he wants to ingratiate himself to an administrator and guruzeth is AWOL (and scary anyway) and PSI322 is too lofty for mere mortals?
c. Because Tengu's trying to extend a tentacle in Chris's direction?
d. Because it seems like the safest thing to do, since Chris always seems to welcome companionship, whereas jumping into someone else's violence may have unpredictable results?

You decide! The only guidance I'll offer is that, based on Tsurami's writings elsewhere, (a) is unlikely.
Chris pointed inland. "The main SM.Net area is around the coast and slightly off of it. You can explore it, but no one's there. Hope you'll join me later, I wouldn't mind the company." He paused. "By the way, TsuramiSea's not your real name, is it? Or do your parents have strange tastes?"
TsuramiSea looked at the ground again. "Sorry, too paranoid to say."
Chris gave Tsurami a mock-scolding look. "Do I act like a stalker?"
ROFL. That is the single funniest line in the Gathering so far. Give that kid an Awesome Point!
(In case you haven't read much Gathering before reading this, the Gathering could feasibly be subtitled: meticulous documentation of Chris being a stalker. And said documentation isn't even close to complete yet. 
Tsurami laughed. "Well... okay, but for now, don't tell anyone else...." He whispered his name in Chris's ear.
This is getting a tad uncomfortable. Can't wait to see how Chris responds to this.
Tsurami is not doing this on purpose; he's 11 or 12 years old and may not even have hit puberty yet. He's just trying to communicate Chris that I trust you, you can trust me!
Chris nodded. "Okay. Well, see you later, I hope!"
"Sure thing, Chris!" called TsuramiSea, headed toward the SM.Net special buildings....

(Yes, this is really me, not the magic-using adventurer. Don't pull me into the Lavos plotline. If I want to enter it, I will. I just want to see the party for now.)
Now that is right out of the Tengu playbook.

16 May 2011

Posts #617-625: 25 April 2000

Post #617, by pogopunk

[ahem, i've noticed that we've stopped reading each other's posts. lets try and follow what other people have already decreed now. poo, i'm looking at you..plus, i'm far away from pink cloud now, oy, come on, dont ruin this if with silly, inane, nonsensical posts!]
The Gathering has gained so much speed that it's become difficult to keep up with what's going on in your own plotline. Keeping up with the various other plotlines is out of the question at this point, unless someone had superhuman reading skills and endless patience.

Case in point: pogopunk hasn't read Major Asshole's post immediately preceding. Not that it would likely change his point of view if he had.
back at the hotel, pogopunk relaxed on a recliner eating a gelato de resort. luna walked in and started tittering at him. "hee hee, you know only women like those..*giggle*"

"grrumph! i've had a hard day, and these taste good!" he said irritably. "bah, get out!" and with that he through his gelato at luna, although she had already left and hit his door room.
He meant room door. Perhaps he's a little lysdexic. Also, if you're enjoying the gelato so much, why the hell would you throw it at someone?
sighing, pogopunk sat around, not knowing what was next. he was tired of battling, and wished f4xl24911 or whatever and lavos would disappear.
Obviously his AC is just a mechanism for him to complain about the Gathering's devolving into Every Other IF Thread, But More So. I have my doubts this will change Falcon24's mind.

But this is an important thing to understand if you're going to post in IF: you can get away with a lot of griping and complaining if you pretend it's in character.
after all, this was supposed to be relaxing, but he hadnt done any relaxing the entire time. he started to pray for the safety of his battle-weary allies, and hoped they would bring back peace. forgetting all about the current eagleland woes, pogo got up and went to chris' room to discuss a fun new sm.net event.
Chris is starting to get staked out, with Major Asshole going to his rock and pogopunk going to his room. And is pogopunk really leaving Luna behind here? What is wrong with this kid?


Post #618, by Chris

(People, it almost seems that the original IF ended about the time everyone went into the inner island, way back in the first topic.
Thanks, Chris! We're glad you posted for the first time in like 150 posts to point out something we all already know.

Also, Chris is obviously responding to pogopunk's complaints here, but Chris is doing it wrong; to wit, he's doing it out of character, in parentheses. Perhaps he thought as an Administrator he was empowered to do that, but it's still bad IF form.
Now, I don't mind having some adventure, but we're in a new story now. Now, we're off to save the world against Lavos and whatever Sanctuary Guardians may remain, not to mention Falcon. When I get around to writing about this, I'll probably write a totally different fanfic based on the first part of the story.
I'm not even sure what that last sentence means. Does he mean he intends to try to compile the party/dance section of the thread (which ended nearly 400 posts ago) into a fanfic? If so, he never pulled that off.
That said and done, let's continue, it's still a really good story...)
No... it really isn't. I'm not sure how you, the reader, are feeling at this point, but this story has been quite dull the last 100 posts.
(Oh, and, if anyone goes looking for my character, Chris is still sitting on his rock on the beach. He probably won't leave until many people return or a truly desperate situation appears.
Major Asshole is already there. You're a tad on the predictable side. I would assume by "anyone" Chris has Juliana in mind, at least much more so than Major Asshole.
I'll continue reading the IF, but until above conditions are met, I probably won't be posting in it for a while. Anyone who wants to join me on my rock, we'll find something to do there, I'm sure.)
Did you catch his conditions somewhere in the above post? I can't find them. Now I'm thinking maybe that confusing comment above meant he isn't interested in saving the world and may jump back in later to try to organize another party. But I think it seeps through in his writing here that he knows no one is going to even look in his direction, much less follow his lead.


Post #619, by Luna

Luna relaxed on a sun chair out on the beach. Nothing bad, nothing good was happening.
Didn't take her long to get over pogopunk.
"Ahhh... Relaxation... just the way to have a good vacation..." Luna smiled to herself. "Hey! That rhymes, AGAIN! I'm good at rhyming things..."
Anybody want a peanut?
and with that, Luna flipped over and fell asleep.
"Moles, bad.... Zzzzzzz..."
Haha. Luna left little ambiguity in her theme in this post: I am bored as hell.

I fear that the Gathering as we've known it is, at this point, pretty much over. There are another 1,100 posts or so left, but the Gathering is in the process now of reorganizing into a save-the-world epic with Falcon and Tengu driving the car.


Post #620, by Falcon24

(wheeee...it's fun to be the bad guy. Ok, where was I? Oh yeah.)
Yes it is, yes it is. It's fun because it brings you a lot of attention; you tend to appear in a lot of other people's posts. guruzeth was the first to figure this out in a thread called Yet Another Interactive Story that predated the Gathering by eight months or so. And as I mentioned once before, Falcon24 bore/bears many similarities to guruzeth.
Falcon walked through the halls of the deserted hotel. "Awww dang! Where are they? There has to be SOMEONE here..." Suddenly Falcon spotted pogopunk and Luna. "Excellent...they won't knoe it's me because of my disguise...and since Lavos has weakened the Earth, if I destroyed the Sanctuaries NOW, there won't be any hope of those do-gooders gaining all the melodies and defeating Lavos. Now, if only there was a way to collect that 9th melody...."
I would think Falcon24 knows full well that Tengu is going to tell him, in so many words, to go f--- himself, and then the kiddies will follow suit. I think he's just doing his evil villain thing.
Falcon approached Luna and pogopunk, disguised by the power of Lavos. "Hi! My name is F4xl0r. I just arrived here and I heard some things about melodies. Maybe you guys know something?" Meanwhile, Falcon thought to himself. ~These fools will be perfect. Only the pure of heart can touch the 9th melody, and if they capture it for me I can destroy it!"
Again, obviously he is divulging his supposed plan knowing it will, sooner or later, be dashed. Obviously this is not the real plan, assuming (this is not a safe assumption) there is one.
Elsewhere, Lavos continued to feed off the Earth. =+"It had been long since I fed off a planet, and fortunately my servant Falcon has supplied me with enough energy to utilize new techniques..."+= Lavos mused. The consumer of worlds focused its energy, and began to regenerate its outer shell.


Post #621, by Gauntlet Wizard

Siris was hopelessly lost. He just decided to teleport back to Eagleland Island. As he arrived on the beach, he promptly saw one single person sitting on a rock. It was Chris.
"Hi there," Siris said. "Are you as confused as I am?"
Chris looked up and answered...
(I don't really feel comfortable filling in other character's words, so...)
Haha. I don't know if Gauntlet knew what he was doing there, but I love the chances of asking Chris if he's confused resulting in high comedy.


Post #622, by PSIOsman

In front of Alan were two portals. One had an image of a warm, sunny beach being slammed by monstrous waves. The other showed stars, stars never before seen by any human.

"Hmm. I think that one with the killer waves is mine and that other one is yours." Said Alan.

"Quite. It seems that the Magicant you enter is decided by your own mind... Alan, you go through yours. We will meet at the Sea of Eden," replied Osman.
PSIOsman's last post was the previous night. Likely he has tired of waiting for SaturnAl to post, and is now forging ahead without him. This is actually a pretty skillful play, putting SaturnAl's AC in a spot where, if SaturnAl never posts again, the AC can safely be forgotten forever, but if SaturnAl does show up, he can effortlessly get his AC caught back up.
"Are you sure? I don't think I want to continue..." (SaturnAl, this is your chance to leave the IF temporarily, if you want. Or, you can stay in it!)
Yeah. So there's little doubt as to what PSIOsman's up to.

There's a 98.63 percent chance the remainder of this post may be safely ignored for the rest of your life.
"If you enter into your Magicant, I'm sure you can find a way to leave. If you leave, wait for us by the rock at the hotel.

With that, Osman and Alan jumped into their separate portals.
None of that is really how Magicant works, but I guess it IS Osman's Magicant.
Osman felt that the forces of good were weakening.

He journeyed across the face of the strange planet, meeting creatures of his imagination and people of his past. He managed to reach the white tentacle and transported himself to the Sea of Eden. He encountered a horribly mutated Kraken, that spewed acid and toxic breath. However, it was quite easy to defeat.
Once again, that is exactly how you handle random battles: skip right past them. Everyone knows you are invincible, which automatically renders all battles boring.
Something in the Sea of Eden was augmenting his Scimitar's power. When he reached the pedestal in the center of the Sea, a familiar person stood there...

"Hi, Osman!"
PSIOsman gasped!
The person said: "You will not stop Falcon. I must destroy you now."
The person drew a Diamond Scimitar...

PSIOsman entered a battle with Osman's Nightmare!

[This message has been edited by PSIOsman (edited 04-25-2000).]



Post #623, by Carbon Dog

NO! not falcon? , i mean NOOOOOOOOOOOOO
This guy has never posted in the Gathering before, and I haven't the slightest idea what in the hell that was about.


Post #624, by SuperSpeedy/Mankey Boy

~~back with Dave's & Pikachu's group~~
"We've gotta stop Lavos!" said Dave. "But I'm just a boy with no powers! How can I stop an evil entity?"
Just then, Poryhedron fused into David! Once fused, Poryhedron uploaded powers that his AC, OmegaSpeedy, had!
  • Dave became OmegaSpeedy!
  • Poryhedron left OS's body!
"Let's go, Poryhedron!" said OS.
Poryhedron lifted Pikachu on his(Poryhedron's) back, and both OS and Poryhedron flew out after Lavos.
Um, yeah... I guess. Whatever gets you excited, kiddo.


Post #625, by Pikachu3164

All of a sudden, Wierd Being from Space appeared!
It used PSI Cryogenically Freeze on Pikachu!
Pikachu was cryogenically frozen!
Wierd Being from Space retreated1

Yep, this is my way of saying I'm out of this IF until this becomes a normal vacation story again. It's just gotten to wierd again. SuperSpeedy, if you still want my Sound Stone, you can have it.
If things become like they did when the story started again, I'll come back.
It loses all its effect if you have to explain it, 3164.

So this is the second official announcement (I'm not counting Chris's as official) that I'm leaving this stupid thread forever. Like Anthadd, 3164 will stay away for all of about ten posts. All he really needs is for one of the other kiddies (likely SuperSpeedy or Mog116) to give him a pat on the back and say "aw, I care about you!"

14 May 2011

Posts #601-602: 24 April 2000

Post #601, by Falcon24

(augh, ok...have a mentioned that no one but Falc can touch the sound sapper or else they'll be fried?

You didn’t, but that’s for the best because you’re not allowed to do that.

A lot of people just weren’t really very into the Interactive part of Interactive Fiction. I have some extended thoughts on that subject, but I’ll leave them for another blog post sometime.

Anyways, it's job is done. It was only needed to awaken Lavos, so now it's just a useless black rock. Sorry to burst your bubble. )

This is extremely bad form; the entire post is OOC and serves only to bitch that people are messing up his railroad tracks. Instead of, I don’t know, running with the new twist and at least trying to make something interesting of it. But Falcon, like Tengu and guruzeth, refuses to do so because he feels interacting with the kiddies to be beneath him.


Post #602, by pogopunk

[yeah, only falc can touch it. something about it being made by oompah-loompahs or something. we was talking bout it yesterdays. that falcon, so dunt bother his sound sapper, or else he'll hurt ya!]

I guess he’s trying to endear himself to Falcon24. It’s funny how a person can just act like an asshole and others will assume he’s important.

I don’t believe there’s any reason contained in the Gathering so far to think pogopunk should know or care anything about what happens to the Sound Sapper.

the pair walked off through happy-happy village, and noticed that everything was painted normal. a blue cow came up to them and blocked their path. [moo, the town's back to normal, than-]

it was interrupted because luna had summoned a cold blast of psi freeze to slam the cow into the wall. it mooed faintly and walked away. "geez luna, you're awfully cold today..get it, cold? hahahaha!" he said, laughing gleefully at his own joke.

Wow, that’s lame. Also, he doesn’t know it yet but he’s only going to piss Luna off with all the violence against animals.

"yeah yeah, whatever, today's my birthday and i wanna get back to the hotel. lets hurry it up ok?" she said impatiently, kicking the runaway dogs coming up to them.

I’m not sure, but I think 24 April actually is Luna’s birthday. She would have turned 13 on 24 April 2000, I believe.

"ok, ok, i'll psi teleport us whenever we get back to an open spot." and with that, he and luna hurriedly trekked through peaceful rest valley. when they came to the repaired bridge, they met poo. "ugh, not him again," groaned poo.

I think he meant groaned pogopunk.
smiling insincerely, poo turned around and looked at the duo. "why hello, and how are things going today?" he sneered.

looking at the unconcious camera man, luna's voice quickened and she snarled "poo, ya better get outta our way!" she said, summoning psi fire. blasting it at poo, the searing heat waves melted the nearby shrooms. laughing through the flames, he walked through themm, and again repeated his question.

speaking to luna, pogo whispered "quick, get ready to teleport!" to poo, he said "aiee! look over there! its a baby eater!" he screamed.

poo turned around in fear and seemed paralyzed. luna and pogopunk took this opportunity to teleport outta there and back to the hotel, where they once again were able to relax.

That was an in-joke, but unfortunately I've long forgotten the nature of it, and I don't remember whether pogopunk was actually in on the joke or was pretending to be in the hopes it would make him look cool to the Falcon/Poo club.

10 May 2011

Posts #576-578: 24 April 2000

Post #576, by Fritz42

`Frieza after finding out how big a jerk Falcon is "what with the distruction of earth and all" decided to go out on his own.
I was not under the impression `Frieza was anywhere near Falcon24. That's how much of a jerk he is: `Frieza found it out without ever having even met him!
*Sniff i smell something burning?

`Frieza walks along the rim of a large crater, looking down he noticed a large object in the middle he steped down to have a closer look. Then suddenly it turned and Looked at him with its one large horrible eye. `Frieza knew that if he did not jump time he would be as done as his corndog!!.. But did he have enough time. Ah Ha he though i'll throw my corndog at its evey and Blind it ::the old corndog in the eye trik::
Believe it or not, `Frieza was one of the oldest people in the community, right up there with Tomato. He was about 19 or 20 at the time he wrote this, which needless to say is ancient. PSI322, at 17, was old by starmen.net standards; most of the users, you've surely noticed by now, are more in the 12-14 bracket.
`Frieza tosses his dog and Jumps out of the way of a large blast. What was that `Frieza thought as he doged a piece of rock. `Frieza looked up and saw a shadowy figure at the top of the crater...
The fact he threw a goddamn corn dog at Lavos should clue you in that `Frieza knows better than to think his AC can accomplish anything. He's just having fun.
[This message has been edited by Fritz42 (edited 04-24-2000).]




Post #577, by Mog116

(Well, since Loid brought me back to life, I guess I'll stay.)
It's funny how honest he's being about the fact he just wants attention.
"Let's go over there." Loid, Mog and Anthadd walked over to the crater.
Once again, I'm not sure how Anthadd got here. He's just silently been following loid around for a while now (on account of Anthadd hasn't posted for a while).
"Look. It's Lavos." Mog said absentmindedly. "LAVOS!?" Anthadd almost fell in the crater, Loid was ready to faint, and Mog, Well... He did both. Fainted, and then fell off the cliff.
Mog really has taken up the Pikachu3164 mantle. Every post now is ending with a cry for attention.



Post #578, by pogopunk

[i'm really confused about what this greater evil is (darn you falcon! ) but i guess we can still continue on. i'll let some other chump deal with it..hehe]
Translation: I've never played Chrono Trigger. That means I am a loser.

Tengu said straight out the "greater evil" is Lavos, but since pogopunk is entirely unfamiliar with Chrono Trigger and it's entirely standard for Tengu to make up words and villain characters and throw them into IF threads like so many salt particles... yeah.
heading side by side into the cave of lilliput steps, pogopunk and luna were on the look out for enemies. giving his bat a few test tries, pogo accidentally slammed it into the wall. "oops, i'm not really used to bats..."

"sigh, well, you better hope we dont find anything, ya reject..."
Here's this guy that's currently soloing with one of the most sought-after girls on the internet, and he's still moping about being an outcast. And these guys sincerely wonder why girls don't notice them unless it's to ridicule them.
trekking through the dark cave, the two could hear drips of water echoing through the cave, and it made them nervous.

"aaaah! whats this on me?!" luna screamed, talking about the mole playing rough running up to them. "take THIS!" she screamed, kicking the mole away. "stupid rodent, urghh"
Pretty in character for Luna, assuming she doesn't like moles.
"haha, thats taking care of...the..moles" he started, but slowed down when a whole hoard of them ran up to them. "man! you made them angry! um..i think we'll have to run now.." pogo suggested.
He means 'horde'. But even then it's not really the right word.
"ok, count of three, we run and scream. agreed? 1...3!!!!"
Running and screaming seems to be their number one strategy. It's flexible!
she yelled, and pogopunk and luna ran through the cave, hysterical. pogopunk was especially wild, running with his bat smashing anything in his way. they continued this way until luna ran into something large and furry.

"pogo, what is this big, ugly, and hairy thing i'm touching?"
I'm pretty sure he only slipped that one past PSI322 because either she never read it, or she read it but was mortified of calling him out on the innuendo. After all, pogopunk might say to PSI, I was just talking about a bear--what were you thinking about?
"its a mighty bear! aghh! kill it!" getting more hysterical, he jumped high on his pogostick and came down with his bat swingin, repeatedly bashing the bear. defeated, it fell over, and it let out a death gurgle.
Her hero? I guess?

I'm not sure Luna's really going to be fond of all this wanton slaughter of animals.
"gee, i guess that was taking care of it," luna said, poking the bear. "hehe, well anyway, lets continue on." slowing their pace, they walked through the cave until they reached a shining spot. a deep rumbling shook the cave, and the shape of mondo mole came out of the shadows.

"this is my sanctuary, go away or i'll eat you both.." the rabid mole moved in, sharpening its long claws, and its drool glistening.
That's remarkably charitable of Mondo Mole. If he assumes killing and eating Luna and pogopunk to be nothing more than routine, and if he assumes they make for a desirable meal, why wouldn't he go ahead and kill and eat them? But instead, showing how sporting he is, he offers his potential meal a chance to scamper off.

And if he's bluffing because he knows they're about to hand him his ass, it would make more sense for him to turn tail and run like hell, wouldn't it?
"i hope you know paralysis luna, 'cuz i think we're gonna need it..." he said, turning to luna.
Now that is distinctly not charitable, paralyzing the poor mole and then beating him to death while he's helpless to do anything. It never pays to be a gentleman when you're dealing with ACs.

28 July 2010

Posts #531-535: 23 April 2000

Post #531, by pogopunk

screaming, pogopunk ran from the evil shape coming from the ceiling. "aieeeeeeee!"

"stop screaming you ninny," it said, "anyway, falcon's destroyed this sanctuary, so my work here is done..now on to another sanctuary..mwehehe" snickering to itself, the figure melted away, off to wreak more havoc.
No, I don't recall ever hearing about any evil entities from the ceiling, either.
"oh craps! this place is falling apart!" pogopunk said, to no one in particular, since ice had vanished.
That's refreshing honesty, isn't it? He's acknowledging no one is listening to him.
"ugh, i'm getting outta here!" teleporting out of the cave of pink cloud, he appeared near a dalaamese shop. after munching on a bowl of rice gruel, he debated what to do next. he could try and stop falcon24, but he knew some other group would take him.
Translation: Oh wow, I just realized how boring this whole trying to oppose Falcon24 thing is.
[stinks, i'm stuck in a cell, those spoony happy-happyists] luna sent out. [anyway, someone help me, i hate it here]
I know I said this already, but it's funny the way teenagers were dreaming of cell phones before the technology to make it happen finally got there. Good thing the technology took its time; I don't think I could have tolerated a Gathering where everyone is txtn each other.
perking up his ears (even though that doesnt really help receive psychic calls) pogopunk sent out a message of his own.

[ok luna, i'm gonna come and help you bust outta there. it wont be pretty, so sit tight]

[yeah yeah, just hurry up. i'm feeling claustrophobic, plus it smells in here!] she said.

and so paying for his meal, pogopunk teleported off to the mountain cabin to free luna. arriving there, and batting a couple of spiteful crows out of his face, he entered the cabin. "phew! it does smell in here! geez, those happy-happyists are reallly in need of a shower or something," he said, covering his nose up. "ok, lemme try and bash it down with my pogostick." rearing back his stick, he took a deep breath and smaaaashed the bars. a loud metallic ring reverberated through the mountains, and pogopunk found his shiny new stick with a dent in it.

"silly pogo, you didnt do anything. sigh, do i have to do everything myself?" taking a hair clip, she bent over and picked the lock. "there, all better."
The bending over was the important part.
dumbstruck, pogopunk mumbled, "umm, well, er, good job, lets get going!"

luna and pogopunk made their way out, but were stopped by a small group of happy-happyists. "blue blue, loud ring you made, blue blue, not nice, blue blue, suffer!"

"so, what do you suppose we do know, luna?"
Talk about IF-as-fantasy-fulfillment. For the not EarthBound initiated among you, pogopunk just re-enacted every teenage boy's very favorite scene from EarthBound, the one where you rescue the pretty girl who's being held captive in a jail cell. (Yeah, deep down, it was mine, too. Teenage boys are predictable that way.) Except, of course, he put Luna in there instead of Paula. You might wonder what the hell that was all about seeing as how Luna effortlessly let herself out of the cell. It's because she was waiting for someone as dreamy as pogopunk to come and rescue her. Duh.



Post #532, by Godeg
Give Godeg credit. He's already hung around longer than I expected he would.
Mike arrives at pink cloud just in time to see Falcon24 hurl a large chunk of rock. Without hesitating, Mike powered up his weapon systems and fired upon the rock, saving the group that the rock was originally intended for.
How exactly does Mike know that Falcon24 isn't the hero, just about to save the world from certain doom by crushing the group of nefarious villains beneath said rock?

Well, yeah, I know he's Falcon24. But 'Mike' doesn't know that, cool mech thing be damned.
"Hrm... this looks bad. Maybe i should have just turned around when i had the chance" Mike thought. Mike sees Falcon24 turn around, directing has hand toward Mike's battle walker. "Oh carp. I'm screwed." Mike realized that he was in trouble.
The Department of Redundancy Department approves of those last two sentences.
Chunks of rocks started flying at Mike's walker from all directions, and the walker was destroyed. The resulting explosion launched Mike from pink cloud out into the Peaceful Rest Valley area, leaving him unconscious.
Though the mech was cool, you'll see (assuming Godeg continues posting) that it made no effective difference whatsoever on his AC, who will continue teleporting around and generally being invincible as normal.



Post #533, by Foppy King

(Ok please respond to me. Anybody. Do you now how boring it is to be ignored. PLEASE? I will join anyone. ANYONE.)
There's something almost charming about his raw pleas for attention. You're thinking, 'yeah, no doubt this kid killed himself eight or nine years ago,' but you'd be wrong. He's still around SM.Net now and again.

The cry for attention thing on its own isn't that big a deal. What's annoying is how damn lazy this kid is. This is four or five times now he's posted nothing except 'PLZ TO PAY ATTENSHUN TO ME?'. Zero content. It's not like it takes much effort to just write yourself into somebody's group, and they won't pay any active attention to you, sure, but they'll probably attach your name somewhere in their next post. But that's too much work for our friend Foppy King.



Post #534, by PajamaManV4M

Well.. I have about ten minutes. So I'll make this one quick.
Thank God.
PajamaMan was in trouble.
Any way we can skip past the 'trouble' part and move straight to the funeral? Or burial, even better.
No one had responded to his call for help.
Well, color me shocked. Shocked!
How would he be able to get through Deep Darkness with a bunch of mean baddies hiding in the swamp? He was scared of the swamp. He didn't know what enemies lurked below, and he felt like a huge serpant would arise and swallow him whole. And what worried him the most was that he kept getting a vision of a large, pink cloud getting the energy sucked out of it. All seemed grimy.
Where the hell did 'grimy' come from? SimCity 2000's random adjective generator?
Then, from the sky, he could see a small thing headed this way.
"Great! More trouble!"

It came down faster than he thought, and soon landed it's feet on the ground. It looked like a Flying Man, only the fact that his head was bright green and the rest of his body was dark green.

"Hi. I'm Zakk. You can call me Flying Man 6."
"Wh-who are you?"
"Zakk. I'm going to join your party."
Like hell you are. You're only allowed one AC in this story, son.

No, really, as with SuperSpeedy and whoever else, I presume he'll get away with working an AC, since PSI322 isn't reading his posts, and neither is anyone else. As long as he steers clear of Tengu Man no one will ever notice.



Post #535, by Dr. Andonuts

Nathan decided to teleport back to Pink Cloud and see what was happening. He hit a button on his laptop and appeared just in time to see Mike get hit. "Thats got to hurt," he thought.
That was quite unnecessary. "That was a totally irrelevant and redundant piece of dialogue," thought the reader.
Seeing that Falcon was using the energies of the Sanuary locations he took out his Sound Stone and used it counter Falcon's earth energies. Nathan then sent out a quick psyic call. [Anyone with a sanuary melody send half of their sound stone to Pink Cloud, quickly. We need the melodies to netualize Falcon's use of them.]
Oh, come on. Even ignoring the ridiculous number of spelling errors, this reads like an experiment to find the most weak-ass effort at opposing Falcon24 theoretically possible. I'll be shocked if Falcon24 uses more than two sentences on disregarding it, and doubly shocked if anyone besides Dr. A ever mentions it again.

04 February 2010

Posts #510-515: 23 April 2000

Post #510, by icEFusioN

The other thread got messed up cause of so many posts. Continue on in here.
Yes, that's right, welcome to the very first second thread of a forum topic in starmen.net history. The first one got so long it broke the s--- out of the forum.



Post #511, by Little Yoshi

Tim(or at least, I think I'm still at Stonehenge, I haven't been mentioned here in a while)
Boo hoo. Cry us a river.

You've surely noticed the frequency with which people toss into their posts little comments whose purpose is to complain about not getting enough attention, no?
ran down the dark corridor, Masamune in hand, trying to dodge the Superb Starman's devasting lasers. Once in range, he gace it an Aqua Slash, a move he invented by using Rainy Circle's power, and Leap Slash together. It wasn't easily defeated however. This gave Tim's friends(I'm not sure exactly who all is here) time to catch up.
Not so fast, partner. What's this business about you having friends?
Juliana bashed it with a SMAAAAAAASHing hit, and defeated it. They moved on, only to be greeted by a pair of Superb Starmen. They started firing long range weapons at Tim, Juliana, and Sir, who had caught up. Tim had a good defense, and great armor. He tried to protect Sir and Juliana by getting the blows.
I think 'absorbing' or 'deflecting' was the word he was searching for her to describe his amazingly manly activities. When in doubt, toss in a form of 'to get' and move on with your life.
They reached the duet, and attacked, full force, defeating them quickly.
LOL @ 'duet'. The Superb Starmen were singing while firing frickin' laser beams! ('Duo' is the word he wanted, and either couldn't quite grasp it or tried to be fancy.)
They rounded the bend, and saw a Supreme Starman! This guy looked very similar to Final Starman, but bigger, and with a jetpack.They knew this battle would not go quickly(and please people, don't make it short!)
The world wants to know: If you're so concerned about someone else simply writing 'so Sir whacked the Supreme Starman and we all moved on' (a legitimate concern, because nobody except Timmy wants to read a long battle sequence, much less write one), why don't you write it out yourself right now? Right: Because it's boring.

Here Liyoshi is trying to clamp down limitations on what other people are allowed to write, which is a monstrous IF no-no. Made worse by the fact that one of those people is the Supreme-Dictator-For-Life of the forums.



Post #512, by pogopunk

still frozen in place, pogopunk noted that falcon had defeated the guardian. he saw falcon bring out his sound sapper, and at that moment everything clicked. "OHMIGOSH, HE'S GONNA DESTROY PINK CLOUD!" pogo exclaimed. "gwaaa! you cannot have it!" lunging himself at the bewildered falcon, they wrestled on the floor, falcon trying to get into the sanctuary, pogopunk trying to knock away the sound sapper. ice just sorta stood there, with his mouth open, halfway drooling. he stared dumbly at the two, when suddenly he threw himself into the two. biting and snarling took place, when suddenly a loud rumbling shook the floor.

"grrrr! pogopunk, ice! get outta the way and let falcon destroy this place. he must continue to rid eagleland of the sanctuaries, so i may take over! nyahaha!" boomed a mysterious voice. the group stopped wrestling and stood in fear, wondering who the evil shape coming through the ceiling was...

[note: lets not have it be pokey or giygas. be creative!]
Once again... well, just see the annotations to the above Liyoshi post. IF is a constant struggle for control, which is why it's called 'Interactive' rather than 'Cooperative'. Big difference between those two concepts. Cooperative fiction is never done on a private forum; it's done between a small, select group of writers who are usually friends or at least friendly acquaintances, one or two of which everyone knows to be the alpha dogs with final decision making authority; it used to be done via email, but now is typically done via a private forum; and the plot is typically planned out ahead of time.

Waaaay back in the day, I was part of a group of five writers... I think it was myself, PSI322, Anthadd, TsuramiSea and Falcon24, but don't hold me to that. We all agreed IF had gotten to be more of a bother than it was worth, and we should write our own cooperative fic, which we called 'Project: Spectrum'. It petered out after a little while. Sometime later, just PSI, Falcon and myself did one (on a private forum) called 'The Nightmare Rock' which was actually quite good, but once again, it just kind of died on the vine eventually.

Sometime after that, after I had vanished from the scene, Falcon joined with PSI, SimonBob and various other luminaries to produce the humbly titled 'Greatest IF Ever', which really was excellent and I think is still in the starmen.net fanfics section, along with various other successful collaborative fics. If you tire of the unintentional comedy of the Gathering and want to see cooperative fiction that works, go look those up.

As usual, it turned out I was the problem.



Post #513, by Godeg

[Onett, near giant step]
Mike was sleeping, when all of a sudden alarms started going off.

"What the freak? What's goin on?!" Mike exclaimed, as he was confused from being jerked out of sleep so suddenly.

The battlewalker's radio came to life, and started throwing out a series of messages. "Sir, it appears as if a massive energy signature has appeared on the island that you are on. It seems to be in the vicinity of pink cloud. It is advised that you stay away from there."
No points for guessing what happens next.

Nitpick: If the guy's using the intentionally vague phrase 'in the vicinity', he should probably be saying 'of Dalaam', not the very specific 'of Pink Cloud'.
"Shuh, yeah right. I'm goin over there. Gimme the location." Mike ordered, and the location was downloaded to his walker's nav computer. "Alright, im gonna go there... just as soon as i go check out the sanctuary."
If you find your mech hacking through underbrush, you know you're on the right track.
Mike sets off to Giant Step, and just as he was about to arrive there, he was confronted by a humungous ant. "Holy cow! What the freak is that?" Mike wondered, bewildered by the insect that was as tall as his walker.

"I am Titanicystein Mk. II. I am the guardian of this sanctuary... take it from me, if you dare." the gigantic ant stated, and a battle started.
Wasn't that guy already whacked? Maybe he's actually Titanicystein Mk. IV, but they have a Guardian Digger-like complex where they all think they're II.
The ant started to attack Mike, and Mike started freaking out. Alarms were going off everywhere, and the situation wasn't looking good. "Cycle shield harmonics! Target lasers to strike between the carapace!" Mike exclaimed, and the walker's computers executed the orders. Lasers of many colors were fired, and all scored a hit between the head and thorax of the ant. The ant exploded, and Mike was free to go on to investigate the sanctuary.
The Enraged PETA Activist and his cohorts came after you!
[Giant Step]
In the sanctuary, Mike could just barely hear a melody being played. Mike wondered where it could be coming from, and decided to dismiss the thought. The left display in Mike's walker started to glow, and the computer said that a melody was recorded and saved. "Hrm... thats kinda cool... kinda. I'm off to pink cloud now to investigate this energy fluctuation." Mike said to nobody in particular. Mike activated the autopilot, and the walker was headed in the direction of pink cloud, just as he was falling asleep.
You have to admit that long-distance transportation that operates itself while you sleep or do whatever else you'd like, currently available only to those wealthy enough to own private jets, is an awfully nice concept. You think the world's a small place now because of the intarwebs, you ain't seen nothing yet, son.



Post #514, by Foppy King

At Stonehenge Base...
Tim had been fighting off Starmen and Octobots, and was growing tired. Then, a Starman fired a Multi Bottle Rocket. "AAAAAHHHH!" he yelled. Suddenly, the Foppy King rushed into the area and casted Shield Omega.
Which, if you had the HP of an EarthBound character, would not prevent you from getting killed by the Multi bottle rocket. Even at half damage you're still talking around 800-1000 HP there. But these are AC's, of course.
The Multi Bottle Rocket was deflected. The Starman was defeated. "It's you again." said Tim. "I would like to asist you." said the Foppy King. Tim replied...
>Yes >No
(For Tim to decide)
'Good. You just did. Bye!'



Post #515, by PajamaManV4M

PajamaMan traveled through the murky swamps of Deep Darkness, getting such-n-stuff on his pajamas.
What makes Deep Darkness such a desirable spot for people to wander around in, anyway? Was it just the PSI322 Effect, or is it that people for some reason are actually attracted to the notion of slagging through an endless, thick, filthy, poisonous swamp full of critters that want to kill you? It's not as exotic as it sounds.
He was glad that it washed the mud off, though. To keep his head up above the swamp, he kicked his legs up hard when his head started sinking.
Not gonna work, Junior. You can't tread pudding.
He started to get used to the murky depths of Deep Darkness. No problem. he thought. It was perfectly silent, and it seemed nothing could stop or threaten him at all. He took a right turn and found a nice amount of land, just enough to crash for a little. There was a broken helicopter which seized to work on the land(you can guess where he is now),
What the hell does any of that sentence mean?
but he didn't pay much attention to it. Everything was A-OK.
..
..
..
"WHARGH!!!"
PajamaMan barely avoided a huge pile of barf aimed at his head. From the water arose the biggest pile of puke he had ever seen.
The Big Pile of Puke.
"DROWN IN PUKE, SPANKY!" the Big Pile of Puke hollered, throwing up at PajamaMan.
You have to admit, that is a very masculine taunt.
He jumped behind the helicopter, and almost threw up himself when he saw the vomit comit splatter on the windows. The Big Pile of Puke was going insane, barf flying on the trees. Soon, he stopped.
PajamaMan slowly sidestepped to the right, thinking that he went away.
"HAHAHA! ATTACK!"
An Even Slimier Little Pile flew out at PajamaMan, screaming at the top of it's tiny lungs. He had almost no time to react.
PSI Nachos Alpha!
"Huh?" the Even Slimier Little Pile gasped as psychic cheese and nachos flew at him.
I would think a smily little pile and/or big pile of puke would love to be smothered in nacho cheese.
The mexican beam worked it's way quickly toward The Big Pile of Puke, sending them both against a really big tree. They were both KO'ed.
"Niftyness!"

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