Posts #916-920: 8 May 2000

Post #916, by Pikachu3164

((Okay, seeing as loid just said that the Mr. Saturns were squished by Lavos, I'm assuming that Lavos fell right on Saturn Valley, kay?))

That conflict sure was resolved fast. I guess 3164 decided this idea was cool and he could run with it.

**********

[Okay. We may as well get going there's nothing to do now that we have the 10th melody and we know we can't get into waffle and Luna's Magicant.]

Convoluted way of pointing out waffle's post is more than slightly late.

"So what will we do?" Poryhedron didn't know what Pikachu was suggesting.

Neither does anyone else, Poryhedron. We never have.

[Let's go to Magicant Village!]

"Huh?"

A valid and sanguine question to ask, Poryhedron, seeing that there is no such place.

[You know how the Sea of Eden is connected to everyone's Magicant? Well, when I zoomed here at the speed of Light, I noticed that the village from Mother 1 is also connected to everyone's Magicant!!]

Oh. Well. When you put it THAT way.

"Hey... If everyone's Magicant links to the same Sea of Eden, why couldn't we go with Luna and waffle?"

[Some problem with warping odd shaped thingies, I guess. Let's go!]

It would have been a lot better if he had simply put in, [Because Luna's a bitch and she wants waffle to herself], which you know is what he was thinking.

I wonder just how high on the list of Google results for "Luna's a bitch" this post will climb.

**********

Pikachu and Poryhedron looked around Magicant Village (Does it have a name? The Magicant in EB0?), visited Queen Mary, ruler of Magicant, looked at the cool stuff in the Well Dungeon, and finally left Magicant.

"Well, that was cool!"

[Yea! Let's go to Milky Well now. Teleport Omega!]

*********

[Ohh!!! Need Peanut Cheese... oh my God!]

Yes?

"It's Lavos!"

By God, sir, so it is!

---

Post #917, by SirMontyG

"Little dune buggy..in the sand, little blue dune buggy..in my hand! Dikawa bum! bada bum ba bum, buda ba da bum ba bum, buda ba da bu baaaa.."

A travel weary Sir walked the endless plain that was Eagleland Island. Thumb still out, he wondered if he would ever get picked up.

"Heh, I remember when the island was just supposed to be one big party, then we go and find all out wildest dreams in the middle of this place! Earthbound, Lavos, the Melodies, everything..it all seems like a dream, or the matrix, or something..just not really...

...real"

Didn't dhsu or somebody with a random name like that already try the "check it out guys, this is actually the Matrix!" thing and get shot full of holes, never to be heard from again?

Sir then went into an inteletctual tangent with himself on the existance of the island, the existance of everything on the inner part of the island, and existance on a whole. Not coming to any real conclusion, a disgrunteled Sir sat down on a rock.

"Hey, wait a minute..this is Chris's Rock! I just walked all the way back to the hotel!! Yippie!!! room service!" Cried Sir as he ran towards the building.

I am praying to $DEITY that this leads to Major Asshole tracking Chris down yet again. It's hilarious because there's nothing Chris can do about it.

~30 minutes later~

"ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh......." Sir raised his strawberry daquri to no one in particular. Sir was in the Hotel's Spa, reaping the rewards of the weary traveler taking a rest. "Soooo relaxing...soo nice...it kinda makes me forget all about school and my job and my family...uhh oh." Sir frantacly rushed to his room on the 7th floor, and quickly made 3 calls at once

*Beebeebeebeebeebeebeebeebeebee*
"Heydad!problywonderinwhereI'vebeenforthepastmonth, right?well,I'mfinebutIcan'treallytalkrightnowgottago, bye!"

*SLAM* *beebeebeebeebeebeebeebeebeebee*
"Hey,Brianna!Sorryihaven'tbeeninformypast14shifts,butI'vebeen REALLY sick,butI'llshowuponeofthesedays, thanksforunderstandingbye!"

If he had a supervisor named Brianna, then this Brianna would have been at least 20 years old or so, meaning she'd be a bit over 30 today. I'm pretty sure 1980-ish is the far limit of how far back the name 'Brianna' goes.

*SLAM* *beebeebeebeebeebeebeebeebeebee*
"Mr.Hodge!gladIgotaholdofyou, youdidn'tmindacceptingthecollectcallrightgreat. soanywaysI'msorryImissedthepastfewconcerts, butI'llmakethemupwhenIgetback,don'tworryaboutme! thanksbye!"

*SLAM*

This is such a sensible, efficient way to handle phone calls. I think I'm going to handle all my phone calls the same way from now on.

*Beebeebeebeebee*Hello911operatorsomelunaticjustbustedinmyhouseandslaughteredmyroommate, andthere'sbloodeverywhereandanaxislodgedinmyskullcanyoupleasesendsomeone? Outtatimegottagobye!*SLAM*

Sir franticaly ran back down to the spa, reclaiming his Daquri at the same time.

"Now that I've taken care of the outside world, where was I? Oh ya: ahhhhhhh....."

Sir slid a little further into the hot tub while overlooking the ocean sunset.

"Now, if only i could find someone who wondered about the island as much as I do..I've heard that conversations go much better with 2 people..."

So go out and find somebody, nitwit. What is it with usually reasonable people like Anthadd and Major Asshole suddenly crying for attention?

---

Post #918, by StarmanDx

Chris emerged at Twoson, called Growlithe back to its Poké Ball, and immediately went to the Bike Shop. "Welcome to the bike shop, 'Punk Sure'!" the clerk said.

"Nevermind that," Chris responded, putting $500,000 on the table. "Get me a bike."

Maybe guruzeth should backtrack from Scaraba (limping, of course) and whack this Chris character. He could use the cash.

The man glared at the cash with wide eyes. "SURE THING!" he shouted excitedly. Chris then left the shop and rode the bike toward Apple Kid's house. I know I'm gonna need a Pencil Eraser to get to Happy Happy Village he told himself.

Why? That pencil statue's been gone for ages. Ever since Ness erased it. They don't regenerate.

[This message has been edited by StarmanDx (edited 05-08-2000).]

---

Post #919, by loid

kiyo was out stranded in the middle of nowhere, sir didnt seem to care about him so he lay there in the wagon with his dog dragging him.

Heh. I forgot that Major Asshole disregarded loid in the same post he complained about no one tagging along with him. loid must have missed the memo that Major Asshole... is an asshole.

Meahnwhile inside Lavos....
"Master Lavos, several of the smnetters have gotten the tenth sanctary, we have to do something"
" Randite... stop the one they call kiyo"
"what? that fool? he tried to attack you and you blasted him into next week!"
"He is weak... but if he ever reilizes the secret of the sound stone, he will be no match even for me"

It's loid doing his Tengu Man impersonation... and I like it. Even though loid is unfamiliar with the "no match for" construct and got it backwards.

"so what do I do? Kill him?"
"no.... I have something even better..."


Kiyo and his dog set up camp and he tried to sleep. Just then a shadowy figure snuck up on him and grabed him.
"AHHHHH! LET GO! I HAVE A GUN!"
"No you dont mortal. I can see your thoughts."
with that the shadowy figure was asorbed into kiyo's mind.

"what did he do t... sErVe LaVoS...o me? whats hapen... ObEy LaVoS... why am i ... fIgHt fOr lAvOs... help me......"
and with that, Kiyo willed himeself to go to saturn valley, or whats left of it that is.

(sir didnt care so now Im becoming... EVIL! and it feels so good)

Well, yeah, but if no one acknowledges your existence... then you don't exist. But as long as it feels good, you keep doing your thang!

[This message has been edited by loid (edited 05-08-2000).]

---

Post #920, by Anthadd

Anthadd, golf clubs, hat, jacket, etc., emerged again from the Lumine Hall. This time, it was the Lost Underworld.
Dodging from rock to rock, he finally ended up in one of the refuges sprinkled across the Underworld.
"Do you have any Tendakraut so I can get into the village?" he asked.
"Not necessarily."
"Let's...reiterate. I said, 'Do you have any Tendakraut.' Give me a yes or no answer."
"Yes or now answer."
"DO YOU HAVE ANY TENDAKRAUT?!?!"
The Tenda quivered, and, in fear, said, "Yes.." and handed it over.

This reminds me of that totally awesome Head & Shoulders commercial with Troy Polamalu. Look it up, you lazy asshole.

"Thank you."
Anthadd rested for a few hours and journeyed to the village, assuming it was north of where he was.

It raises the question of how you can be sure which way is north, when you're in the Lost Underworld.

Posts #901-905: 8 May 2000

Post #901, by TsuramiSea

After he reached Twoson, Tsurami went to Burglin Park and bought some bananas and rolls. Then he had a look around the department store. TsuramiSea managed to get money by battling Cranky Ladies, who apologized after they became normal and gave him some money. TsuramiSea bought a bracelet and rested at the hotel. When he woke up the next day, he wondered what to do next.

"I know! I'll go see Orange Kid!" TsuramiSea ran to the Orange Kid's house. On the way, he ran into a couple of girls.

"Are you going to see the Orange Kid?!" one of them asked.

"Yes..." mumbled Tsurami.

"Well, remember to be polite to him! Because he's so smart," replied the other girl. "He's the coolest person in this town, isn't he?" she gushed to her friend.

"Yeah, I can't wait to see his next invention!"

Tsurami walked away, heading again towards the house. He knocked, and a rather stuffy voice said, "Enter." He did so.

Inside was a kid with glasses, orange hair, and a strange stem-like object sticking up from the middle of the hair. He just observed Tsurami for a moment. "I don't believe I've had the pleasure of making your acquaintance. Who might you be?" he said, with a charming smile.

"My name is TsuramiSea," said that person, "and I thought that while I was in Twoson, I might visit the renowned Orange Kid."

"Ah, many thanks for doing so," said Orange Kid. "I bet you want to see one of my GREAT inventions, don't you?!"

"I suppose so."

"All right! So you shall." Orange Kid dug around in a box, and pulled out a strange looking machine. "This is my.... SUPER ORANGE MACHINE! Suporma for short! Take it willya."

TsuramiSea took the Suporma, looked at it for a minute, and burst out laughing, knowing what a stupid machine it was.

"What's so funny?" remarked Orange Kid. "It doesn't look like much, but it took a while to build."

It did? thought TsuramiSea. Then why does it break so easily in the game? Tsurami decided to employ a little more tact, and stopped laughing. "Er, I'm sorry. I just thought you were going to bring out something bigger than this...."

"Well, all my other inventions are currently elsewhere." Tsurami took this to mean that he didn't have any other inventions. "That Suporma plays a delightful song, try it!"

Tsurami almost burst into laughter again at hearing "Ode to Orange Kid" being called a delightful song. But he held himself in check and said, "I'll play it sometime when I'm feeling depressed, it should cheer me up." It sure will, he thought to himself, perhaps that's ALL it will be good for.

"I know you will positively dance to the sweet melody!" said Orange Kid excitedly. "That's all for now. It was wonderful to meet you."

"Same here," said Tsurami. "Goodbye, Orange Kid."

TsuramiSea left the Orange Kid's house, and wondered where to go next. He didn't want to fight too much because he was so weak. (How about that, a weakling, just like Loid! Only he doesn't have huge weapons to back him up, which makes him truly pathetic. Guuuu) "Well, maybe I'll just go to Threed and see what I can do there.... can't think of much else. Maybe I'll meet another SM.Netter! There have to be more of them around here SOMEHWERE....."

TsuramiSea walked off towards the Two-Three tunnel.

You know, I like this post. Tsurami's doing what I've been wishing people would do throughout these annotations: he's humming along and doing whatever seems interesting to him. Playing the "this is so cool, who should I meet next?!" angle of the inserted-into-EarthBound concept. The other posters will regard him as behind the times since they blew through that in about 20 (total) posts. But you tell me: what have they been doing the last 600 posts that's remotely interesting?

---

Post #902, by Gauntlet Wizard

Thank you very much, Tengu, for that completely unexpected plot twist. I'm too confused. So what are we suppopsed to fight instead of Lavos? What was it? Randite Statue or something? I'm not gonna post right yet; I'm too confused.)

He wants to tell Tengu to f--- off, but is too timid to. So instead, we get these vague claims about being confused; Gauntlet is hoping someone more important than himself will back him up.

---

Post #903, by t0nberry22

Ton and Dark Ton arravid in the center of the Sea of Eden. There, a strange statue of Ton was standing. The statue spoke.

In case you forgot, Ton and Dark Ton were hiking together to the Sea like old buddies.

"Welcome to Eden. You have come to the center and will duel, correct?"
"Um, yes." said Ton.
"Good. I don't like tourists hanging around. Now, choose your weapons." Some weapons appeared.
"Why can't we just use our knives?" said Dark Ton.
"Hmmm. I din't think of that. Alright, ready to start?"
"Sure!"
"Let's go."
"Alright, when I count to three, start fighting.1... 2... 3!!!!"
Ton jumped at DT and slashed. DT rolled out of the way. DT swung his lantern. It connected! Ton gets knocked back.

In the very unlikely event you don't know what the knives and lanterns are about, they're supposed to be Tonberries, the iconic weirdo monster from the Final Fantasy series. Look it up yourself, you lazy asshole.

"Giving up already, Ton?"
"I'm just getting started!"
DT tries to stab Ton. Ton dodges and kicks DT in the tail. DT spins around and slashes. Ton is hit! Ton falls back, then charges forward at DT. DT gets the wind knocked out of him.
"Why... you... little..."
DT catches his breath and lunged forward.

It's really not that easy to "catch your breath" when you get the wind knocked out of you. It leaves you unable to breathe for a good 30 to 60 seconds, and takes a while to fully recover from. If it happens to you in the middle of mortal combat, you are dead.

Ton dodges and kicks DT in the tail again. DT spins around and conks Ton badly with the lantern. Ton drops his lantern and falls down. DT walks up to Ton. Ton suddenly kicks DT in the stomach. He drops his lantern.
"Well... this... is pretty even." gasps Ton.
"Yeah... it... is." wheezes DT.
"Guys, I hate to interrupt you, but your lanterns are about to fall into the sea! Get them before they fall in!"
Ton and DT are too late. The lanterns fall into the Sea of Eden. Suddenly a huge rumbling starts.
"W-what's going on?!"
"The Sea of Eden is cracking in two. One half will become part of Light Magicant, and the other will become part of Dark Magicant."
"But that means..."
"Yes. Ton's Dark Side and Ton's Light Side will become separate beings."
"Yes!" cried DT. "Finally, I will be able to wreck havoc on the world!"
"NOOOOOOOO!" Suddenly, there was one last crack, and Ton lost contact with the outside world.

This would seem like actually an interesting and dire plot twist if I had the faintest clue what the hell was really going on here, and if there was any connection between it and anyone besides a lone insignificant poster. As is, it will be ignored by everyone else.

---

Post #904, by Chris

"It's simple, really," the tenda chief explained. "Just start running in a straight line, and thinking about where you want to go, and you'll be there. You've already realized some psychic powers, so it will be possible for the two of you to teleport."

Well, the monkey in EarthBound didn't really make the explanation any more complicated than that. Though for full effect I guess one of the Tenda should have demonstrated for them.

"Thanks, chief. See you later!" Juliana replied.

Chris and Juliana had arrived a few hours after setting off for Tenda Village. They asked the chief how they might leave the Lost Underworld, and he suggested that they teleport. He had just finished explaining it, and now, Chris and Juliana were ready to try.

The two of them stood side by side, looking at a clearing of land in front of them. Chris counted to three, and they started running as fast as they could, constantly thinking about Summers.

Having (a) been one of the faster runners in my high school and (b) lost a footrace to PSI322, I can attest: she is fast. I doubt Chris would have been able to keep up, either. Which is good, since, y'know, at some point she may actually have to sprint away from him to the nearest police station.

After a few hundred feet, Chris saw the world was starting to blur around him. Suddenly, a white flash appeared, and he found himself running down the main oceanfront street in Summers. He looked to his left, and saw Juliana standing there, looking around in amazement.

"Well, we made it. What should we do now that we're here?" Chris asked, after catching his breath from the run.

"I say we go swimming!" Juliana replied. Chris nodded his head, and the two of them went up to the hotel to book two rooms for the night, and to change into bathing suits.

Once again, please don't be too impressed. Predicting bathing suits would instantly come into play was no more difficult than predicting Tengu Man would try to hijack the Big Bad.

After a few minutes, they met together and walked down to the beach, ready to enjoy their vacation.

Chris's favorite word is entirely out of place in that sentence. Pretty obvious he just tossed it in there because he likes it.

---

Post #905, by StarmanDx

The rope ladder leading to Titanic Ant's usual position was now covered in goo. "Eww.. looks like a giant booger climbed this... uh-oh..." Chris suddenly remembered something about a giant booger in a game he once played. Climbing up, despite the ooze, he found, sure enough, the Saline Slimer from Lunar.

I don't think PSI322 instituted any rules about pointless crossovers back at the beginning, so it's her fault this is happening, really.

"Blaarg! This is the first 'Your Sanctuary' location. But it's Titanic Ant's now. GWARG! I got the line wrong. Anyway, I'm Titanic Ant's substitute. I'm new at this, let me try again. *ahem* 'This is the first 'Your Sanctuary' location. But it's mine now. Take it from me, if you dare...' Hey! I got it right! Now let's fight!"

"Okay. PSI Moogle Gamma!" The following psychic blast was enough to destroy the Saline Slimer, despite it having around 7980 HP from Chris's current level. Chris went forth and collected the Giant Step melody on his Sound Stone replica. But after getting the melody, he heard a voice which said, "So you're the one with the white dragon. You'll never be able to defeat me, even with the Sanctuary locations on your side."

Chris immediately recognized the voice. "GHALEON! What do you want?!"

The voice, which obviously belonged to Ghaleon, chuckled. "Why, simply to rule this place with Althena, which I should be doing on the world of LUNAR right now, if it weren't for that... boy... from Burg."

I have not the faintest idea what any of this is about. And being certain no one else will ever pay attention to it, I'm going to skip the rest of this post. Bye!

"I'll beat you," Chris said. "Just like Dragonmaster Alex did. You'll never take this place!"

"That's what you think!"

"Ghaleon! GHALEON!" He got no response... "So Ghaleon's trying to take this place over. I've got to stop him. With or without my equipment! Go, Growlithe!" The fire pokémon appeared from its Poké Ball. "I know you don't have Dig yet, but Dig a path to Twoson for us!"

"Growwwlithe!" it responded, and dug a tunnel leading directly to Twoson, despite not having the Dig ability. Chris then followed Growlithe to Twoson...

Posts #861-865: 6 May 2000

Post #861, by StarmanDx

Chris finally woke up after a peaceful, undisturbed sleep. "I must've slept for about three days..." He told no one in particular.

In case you forgot, this is the other Chris. The one that likes hamburgers, not the one that likes PSI322.

He reached in his backpack for a Hamburger, but couldn't find one. He then remembered, Poo stole half his stuff. Grumbling to himself, he left the inside of Dungeon Man and teleported back to where he started, Onett.

********

"I've got to get this melody," Chris told himself as he ran to Giant Step, to claim the melody he missed.

I was really kind of expecting his first stop would be the Burger Shop.

Running past everything that had already been cleared away, he reached the Magic Butterfly spot. He didn't bother healing himself, figuring Titanic Ant wasn't there. However, something Chris didn't know about WAS there...

I'm impressed StarmanDx knows enough EarthBound to know there is a Magic Butterfly Spot near Giant Step.

---

Post #862, by PSIOsman

(Mog left now, right? I'm a bit confused.)

He's in an existential crisis. He doesn't exist as long as you for $DEITY's sake don't think about him.

"Now, the final hour is at hand we must go and defeat Lavos. With the power of the melodies... the melodies..."

"Dude, what's wron--"

Both Alan and Osman heard it at the same time. Due to their adventures in Magicant, they had somehow acquired the tenth melody without even noticing it. The melody played inside their heads.

Again, I approve of any and all skipping ahead of Magicant crap. It honestly wasn't so bad the first 150 posts or so of it, but it's gotten just a tad stale now.

"What's wrong?" Asked Siris, concernedly.

It's bad enough to tack adverbs onto every "said". You don't need to exacerbate the problem by making up new adverbs. "Concerned" will do if you absolutely insist that the reader is too stupid to figure out Siris is concerned based on he just said "What's wrong".

"Nothing... The tenth melody..." mumbled Osman. Suddenly, the Scimitar flared up yet again. The completed song emitted from it. The three friends were stunned by its beauty.

It sounds just like "Magic Carpet Ride".

As soon as the melody stopped, reality around them shifted. The world became a blur, changing and shifting. When everything became normal, they looked up. The sky was blood-red and the scorched earth led up to something huge and foreboding... it was Lavos.

Don't forget that he doesn't have an eye anymore. He's probably somewhat agitated by this, too.

(I don't know what state Lavos is in. Is he damaged? Healthy? What?)

...damn it, kid.

I tell you, these kids are all lazy assholes.

---

Post #863, by Pikachu3164

Pikachu eventually defeated Dark Pikachu using prayer power, combined with the power of Starstorm and other PSI abilities.

Pikachu gave a pose of triumph. [Okay. Now lead me to the Sanctuary.]

I know I'm on thin ice complaining about someone skipping over the details of Yet Another AC Smackdown, but: what the hell was the point to his last couple posts?

Dark Pikachu gave a pose of defeat. [Fine. Follow me.]

I bet it looked just like Robert E. Lee a few moments after he realized the catastrophe he'd caused at Gettysburg.

Pikachu followed Dark Pikachu to the island where Ness's Nigtmare had stood. [This is the 10th Sanctuary location. Ness never acquired it because he didn't know of it.]

Also because he didn't need or want the stupid goddammned thing.

Pikachu became aware of the familiar Sound Stone melody... He had acquired the power of Sea of Eden!

It's the Cold War all over again. It's not so much that the Power of the Sea of Eden is useful in any way. It's just you don't want to be without it when everyone else has it.

[I may be evil, but I accept defeat. Whenever you want to leave Magicant, come back here.] Dark Pikachu stated.

If he's evil, why doesn't 3164, y'know, kill him?

[Hmm... All Magicant's are linked at the Sea of Eden, right?]

[Yes....]

[Cool! I'm gonna find Poryhedron!]

Take your time. Really.

[This message has been edited by Pikachu3164 (edited 05-09-2000).]

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Post #864, by Traceh

The wind whiped at the sails, and Tracy turned to guruzeth.

"Where is the captain!? she yelled against the wind. "I dont see him out there!" The boat swayed as if it were to crumble at every wave.

Who cares? Free boat! 

And now PSI322 can't even give us a scolding, because with no witnesses she can't prove we stole it.

"Look! There he is!" guru shouted, pointing towards the left side of the small ship.

They ran to the post and looked over the edge of the boat, only to see the bearded man drift beyond the lenght of rope they had.

WIIIILLLLSOOOOOOOOOONNNNNN! I'm sorry, Wilson!

...dang, that movie wasn't even out when this was written. I'm old.

 Tracy's jaw dropped as she saw him swept out to sea, waving and fighting to get back. guruzeth turned away from the water and took out the now soaked map.

Very guruzeth-like. Who gives a damn about some schmuck NPC drowning to death in pure terror?

Out of the corner of her eye, she glanced at him, still in shock. "Well, now that we are captainless, do YOU know how to navigate and 'sail the seas'? Cause I sure dont," she said, irritation and loss coloring her voice.

Captainless? How can you be captainless with guruzeth around?

guruzeth smiled slyly. "Stand back, and be amazed!" he retorted. "There is no problem I cant find an answer to. Dont worry." Tracy let out a breath of irritaton/ammusment and sat down on the wet deck of the boat, finding a tarp to sheild from the storm.

I can't decide if Traceh's expressing admiration for guruzeth or making fun of him. It's one or the other. Let's hope it's the latter.

The next thing she remembered was guruzeth's bellow from the front of the boat. "Laaaand hoooo!" he shouted with his best pirate accent. Tracy stood and walked to the front of the boat, just in time to sight the strip of green on the horizon, closing in on them.

I hope he's got a cunning plan for stopping the boat, which typically requires the concerted efforts of a half-dozen people or more.

---

Post #865, by Anthadd

"PSI Life-up Gamma!" Anthadd's HP were maxed out.
Anthadd woke up, not knowing how, and rolled behind the CFB, just as the Bomb exploded. The CFB took the full force of the blow, and exploded.

Apparently this particular Care Free Bomb throws Boomerang Bombs? Or something?

He continued along. When he reached the twisting horn, something put its hand on his shoulder. He whirled around, ready for battle.
A few Mr. Molecules had clustered up to try and frighten him, but a few simple whacks from the golf club he'd bought recently at the Magicant shop atomised them.

Anthadd is smart.

Pressing his hands on the horn, he was teleported to the Shore of Eden (can't swim).

OK, maybe not that smart. This annotator himself didn't finally learn to swim until he was 12, and still can't swim well enough to stay alive for five minutes if his boat capsized ten minutes' swim from shore, but you won't see me admitting it.

Posts #816-820: 4-5 May 2000

Post #816, by Mog116

Mog jumped up and hit Dark-Mog. Dark-Mog jumped straight at him. Mog was hit by Dark-Mog's Spear. Mog did a quick counter-slash, but missed. Mog's spear drove into the wall. Mog jumped at Dark-Mog and pinned him to the ground. Dark-Mog jumped up, flinging Mog to the ground. Mog quickly got up and punched Dark-Mog in the face, knocking him down. Dark-Mog flew back up. Mog and Dark-Mog threw a punch at each other, and hit each other in the fist. Mog flew forward again, and headbutted Dark-Mog. Dark-Mog flew back, but Mog dashed after him. Mog punched Dark-Mog in the gut, and Dark-Mog hit the ground hard. [Fool... You shall not win!!] Dark-Mog started to laugh, and Mog was blown backwards by some unknown force. [PSI SHEILD]

I think this is the most boring fight sequence I have ever read. Liyoshi's stuff is more annoying, but less boring.

Mog put up a sheild. Dark-Mog flew forward and hit mog, but was blown back by the sheild. Mog jumped at him, and started to pummel him. Dark-Mog jumped out of the punches, and shot an orb of energy at Mog. Mog's sheild reflected the attack. The orb bounced of and blew Mog's spear of the wall. Dark-Mog started to collect energy. Mog tried to use Mimic, but he couldn't. [PSI ULTIMA!!] A blue orb of anergy shot at Mog. Mog dodged, but the orb turned around and chased after him. Mog curved around, then ran straight at the Orb. Before he hit it, he slid under. The Orb paused a moment, then chased after Mog. Mog suddenly had an Idea! He ran after Dark-Mog, who was laughing with his eyes closed. Mog plowed through Dark-Mog, and knocked Dark-Mog over. The Ultima Orb hit Dark-Mog, who suddenly blew up. Dark-Mog disappeared.

No, none of the above was any less boring. You made the right decision to skip it.

There was a flash of light, and all that was left in the room was Mog, his spear, and a glowing rock. [Mog! The Sound Stone has Ten Melodies! The power of Ultima can be unleashed!] Mog's own mind told him. Mog walked at the rock. ZAP! the power of Ultima reached Mog! Mog got the Ultima Spear! Mog's Hp is increased by 123! Mog's Mp increased by 53! Mog's other stats raised by 33! Mog's dream ended!


Mog wa in the Fire Springs. Mog remembered Tim, and started to Pray. Mog began to pray! The sound stone that was charged with all ten melodies was sent to Tim.

(Tim-you can use Ultima, which deals about 8000 damage to all enemies and is unblocksble)

I have a feeling Liyoshi is going to be irritated about this and will quickly pretend it never happened.

---

Post #817, by PSIOsman

(What the... TEN Melodies? I'm only collecting nine! These extra melodies are becoming stupid.)

I hear you, brother. Collecting melodies in the first place was stupid; collecting a ninth was asinine; collecting a tenth is a new depth of idiocy.

Osman, Alan, and Siris needed a way to get to Fire Springs. Siris sensed that there was very little time left. Suddenly, Siris had an idea. He started chanting again, but at the end of the spell he yelled:

"QUAKE!"

A huge rift opened beneath them, and they fell. They landed on the top of a massive, beautiful tree.

Ouch. That tree would be driven through their assholes and right out their mouths.

All around them were peaceful dinosaur heads, munching on leaves in unison. In the distance, the group could see little Tenda evacuation areas. They were in Lost Underworld.

The hell of it is, I can't decide whether they're following Juliana around, or Chris.

[This message has been edited by PSIOsman (edited 05-05-2000).]

---

Post #818, by StarmanDx

(AAH! I forgot about the 1 AC rule! I didn't even know you had one. Oh well. I can fix this...)

Would you mind? Thanks. See, this is how you're supposed to react when a moderator says no.

"Nall... you should go back," Chris said, s they wondered around.

"But.. why?" Nall asked, confused.

"Because things will get a bit dangerous from now on. And you may not get lucky like you did against those Guardian Diggers..."

"I see. Bye, Chris!" And with that, Nall flew back to Chris' home.

Well, I'm glad he was such a good sport about it. Killing him off would be more fun, though.

(Well, that fixes that. Sorry, PSI. Back to the story)

********

As he wandered around, Chris began to recognise the place he was in as Scaraba. Besides the obvious fact that there was sand all around him, he could see a spinx in the distance, and around 30 yards northeast was Dungeon Man, formerly known as Brickroad.

Spinx was the guy that got knocked out in like 15 seconds by Mike Tyson, right?

"If I stay out here any longer, I might dehydrate.

Actually, if you stay anywhere and are not drinking water, you will dehydrate. It's just a question of how fast.

I'll go inside Dungeon Man," Chris told himself. "Getting the melodies, and getting my stuff back from Poo will have to wait for a tiny bit."

Wait, didn't Chris already do this? I seem to recall him needing weapons, yet somehow being able to cut down the palm trees.

Oh. Right. I keep forgetting.

As he went in, he immediately encountered a Mystical Record, Scalding Cup of Coffee, and Worthless Protoplasm.
He jumped back to avoid getting splashed by the coffee, and swung the Sword of Kings in a wide arc, defeating all of them in one blow.

Actually, the scalding espresso attack is just PSI Fire alpha in disguise, and is unavoidable. You know, for non-ACs.

He then walked to the Good-night Bench, and took a nap.

Good call. It sucks to die tired.

---

Post #819, by Little Yoshi

"Wow, Mog gave me alot!" Tim exclaimed.

To whom, exactly?

Evil Mani Mani sent out dark waves of energy!
Tim was stunned!
Tim was able to move!

What did Evil Mani-Mani do during the interim? Stand in front of a mirror and work on his evil speeches?

Evil Mani Mani emmited a golden light!
Tim started crying!

You'll also notice how Liyoshi is acquiescing to Tengu Man's demand about what to call Evil Mani-Mani without a peep in protest. (If you've been paying attention, you know that I was calling the statue "Evil Mani-Mani" long before Tengu brought it up, because that is in fact its proper name. Although oddly, outside of battle it is usually called Mani Mani, no hyphen, but in battle its name is Evil Mani-Mani, with the hyphen.)

"PSI Yoshi Alpha!" Tim shouted.
"OWW!" Evil Mani Mani replied to the attack.
"Gheesh, if Alpha does that much, I wonder what Omega will do-hey, what's this?" Tim said, picking up Mog's Sound Stone. "COOL! Ultima!" Tim exclaimed, seeing his new present.

OK, lip service, but let's see if he actually does anything notable with it.

---

Post #820, by Traceh

Hey, a Traceh sighting! And you thought she was gone forever. Her last post was #406, more than 400 posts ago, and she was climbing into the Talah Rama Monkey Cave in the desert. You'll notice that was boring, so she changed her mind in the interim.

Tracy glanced out the window, looking down on the beach from the 3rd story of the hotel.

I think that also makes her the first person in about 500 posts to stay at the hotel for longer than five minutes. Remember the hotel? Barely? Yeah, I know. Weren't those the days.

Bonus points if you've been paying attention to recent posts and can already guess why Tracy has suddenly appeared at the hotel.

She had come back after a few hours of exploring, being more of an indoor person. Hardly anyone had come back from their adventures so she just hung there, kickin it at the hotel and eating once a day at that stelar buffet.

She means "stellar," which is one of her favorite adjectives even if she can't spell it. And while we're here: there really is nothing quite like a really good buffet.

Still looking out the window, Tracy spotted someone walking from the entrance of the hotel, threw on a pair of jeans and a cute old navy shirt and was out the door.

Running out the main entrance Tracy jogged down the sandy hill towards the figure (who looked like he wasnt sure where he was going). At the last second she recognized him.

"Guru! Hey, Guruzeth!

Funny story... or at least it's funny now. PSI322 was annoyed that Traceh went out of her way to describe Tracy's Old Navy shirt as "cute"; that, said PSI322, definitely was meant to be flirtatious. My perspective was: wait, what? She's a girl, girls are always calling their clothing cute, you're overreacting. We kind of agreed not to talk about it after a couple minutes. Looking back... well, I still think she was overreacting. But maybe she had a very slight point, I don't know. At that early stage in history PSI322 and guruzeth were still kind of unofficial, and against all logic guruzeth was semi-popular with the ladies. Nowhere near to the extent PSI322 was popular with the boys, but you know.

On the other hand, I was never, not for a second, the slightest bit jealous of Chris. I mean, he was Chris. He was the least threatening thing imaginable.

Where are you going? I have been waiting for days for someone to come back to the hotel. Do you mind if I tag along for a bit?"

Panting and out of breath Tracy waited to see if Guru heard her or even noticed.

So guruzeth's play for companionship worked out beautifully; he got a good poster to join him in plotline hijinks. And a female one at that, making guruzeth the second person (after waffle; remember Luna and waffle?) to actually get a certified girl to follow him around. Hopefully he plays it better than waffle has. And you'll notice guruzeth accomplished that the same way waffle did: by going out and writing his own stuff without begging for attention. You want noticed, don't be seen crying. Be seen doing stuff.

[This message has been edited by Traceh (edited 05-05-2000).]

Nearly all of Traceh's posts are edited, because she was self-conscious about her spelling and would go back and fix whatever errors she could find. She was poor at spelling, but despite that she was one of the best writers in the Gathering, as we will see.

Posts #776-780: 3 May 2000

Post #776, by StarmanDx

Chris was more furious than ever.

About dhsu showing up and screwing up his plans with Juliana?

Betrayed by Poo, and with half their equipment gone, they now had to face five Guardian Diggers. "Chris! What are we gonna do!!" Nall whined, flying behind him. "He even took my slingshot! I can't fight!!"

Oh, right. This is the other Chris. The boring one.

"No time for that NOW, Nall," Chris replied, preparing to attack with what he had left. "We've got to take these Guardian Diggers out!"

Why don't you just run like hell? That's what I'd do.

He still had his home-made Sword of Kings on him, because he never keeps it away from him.

Um... I guess that's sensical. Sure, you have it on you because you never don't have it on you. Cool.

He faked a slash, and used PSI Moogle Gamma. The psychic blast knocked them back, but not much. They suddenly came back with five swipes, knocking Chris down.

Good lord, an AC that didn't fly through the air upon being hit! It's a first.

Nall was furious with rage.

Rejected sentences before he settled on the above:
"Nall was furious with love."
"Nall was furious with joy."
"Nall was furious with boredom."
"Nall was furious with horniness."

"THAT'S IT!!!" He rushed forward and tackled them, knocking them all down!

I, Nall, WILL KNOCK YOU ALL DOWN!!!

Chris woke up and looked around astonished. Nall was, too. "I... beat them?"

• Nall gained 5068 exp.
• Nall's level is now 16!
• Yeah baby!
• Nall's offense went up by 33!
• Nall's defense went up by 24!
• Nall's vitality went up by 14!
• Nall's guts went up by 13!
• Nall's IQ went up by 14!
• Nall's speed went up by 14!
• Nall's luck went up by 15!
• Sweet!
• Nall's maximum HP went up by 106!
• Nall's maximum PP went up by 51!
• Nall realized the powers of:
• Hypnosis Alpha
• Paralysis Alpha
• PSI Rockin Alpha
• Lifeup Beta
• and Healing Alpha!

"WOAH!" Chris shouted in disbelief. "You beat them!"

Nall was getting rather confident. "I can't wait to run into Poo again! I'll get back our stolen equipment."

Guardian Diggers aren't ACs, you do realize.

"But for now," Chris said, "we should figure out where are we, and what to do next."

That is usually a solid part of any plan. You're going to end up in bad shape if you don't pause a moment to figure out where you are, and what to do next.

---

Post #777, by Mani Mani

Back in Twoson, Mani suddenly felt a little weird.

That's not normal for you?

"Uh oh..." she thought. "Maybe I shouldn't have eaten those three hamburgers..."

Hey, I tried to warn you about eating hamburgers you dug out of trash cans.

But it wasn't her stomach. With a flash, she had a vision of Lavos fighting someone - someone male, but of an unknown age. The person was trying to damage Lavos with little success.

You knew it was going to end up being her using out of character knowledge in character, right? If you didn't know that: Welcome to the Annotated Gathering!

"Guys...I think someone needs our help..."
"Why's that?" asked Diamond Dog.
"This is gonna sound really weird, but I just saw someone fighting him, and he didn't look like he was doing too well..." Paula stared at her.
"You too? I just had a vision of that also." Mani blinked.

Yeah... I act surprised.

"You mean...I'm psychic...not just able to use regular PSI...?"
"There's no time for that now," said Ness anxiously. "We've got to help that person."

Why? Ness seems like a sharp kid; you'd think he'd have sense enough to ponder who this person is, where he falls on the Good-Evil spectrum, and why it would be worth Ness's time and effort to help him. This is a good spot for that "figure out where you are and what to do next" strategy.

"But where is he?" asked Darth.
"It looked like...a large clearing...a strange one..." muttered Paula.
"The center of the island, maybe?" wondered Mani.
"I...think I know where that is!" exclaimed Ness. "I'll teleport us there right away."

They arrived on the scene just in time to see Falcon slammed against a tree.

Guys guys guys! It's happening! Falcon24 and Tengu Man are about to team up! Give me a "hell yeah"!

"Ouch...that HAD to hurt," said Jeff. The group made a small gasp as they watched more of the devastating needles shooting towards Falcon.
"PSI Ice Rain Alpha!" Mani shouted, surprising everyone, including herself.

That's a mouthful. The poor guy might get killed before you can pronounce it all.

This was the new PSI she'd learned way back when (in one of Tengu's posts and I'd failed to acknowledge it :P). Instantly water shot out from nowhere at the needle attack, pelting it with freezing rain and ice. It wasn't enough to completely neutralize the attack, but just enough that Falcon was able to avoid it. Lavos turned his attention to the new arrivals.

If Lavos knew what was good for it, it would get the f--- out of Dodge right now.

"Get ready, everyone..." said Ness. Mani bit her lip and took a step back. She was suddenly very frightened.
"Guys...I-I'm not sure I'm ready for this..." She felt a friendly hand on her shoulder - Jeff.

Facepalm. It's times like this I really have trouble believing Mani Mani wasn't somebody else multi-accounting. But I don't know, guys do that kind of stuff with Paula, I guess.

"We've all been through this kind of thing before," he told her. "It happens with your first really big battle, not just one like with Carbon Dog." Mani felt a little reassured, but still quite nervous...

(Dum de dum, if this post needs changing in any way, just say the word. It's hard to get back into the groove of things...)

Ten bucks says she now disappears for at least a hundred more posts.

---

Post #778, by Little Yoshi

All at once, Mani Mani had become more powerful than ever. Tim wondred why.(Tim doesn't know, but it's because the saftey protocals went off).

Mani Mani's sanctuary shield protected Mani mani from Magnet Hill!
Mani Mani used Special Beta!
Mani Mani used Special Omega!
Tim used Psychic Shield Beta!

Tim tried to remember that something that Pikachu's prayer prompted him to remember, but couldn't!

Tim used Starstorm Omega!
"I'll drain your PSI energy in no time, fool!"Mani Mani said.
Mani Mani used Magnet Alpha!
Drained 6PP from Tim.
Mani Mani used Magnet Beta!
"What the heck?! There's no such thing!"
Drained 13PP from Tim!
Tim used Diamond Blast!
Mani Mani's sanctuary shield protected him from Pink Cloud attacks!
Tim used Hydro Slash!
"Owww!" Mani Mani yelped.
Mani Mani used Special Omega!
Tim ate the brain food lunch!
Tim's HP are maxed out!
Tim's PP are maxed out!
Mani Mani's Sanctuary shield was fully regenerated.
"NO!"
Mani Mani used Power Shield Beta!
"Noo!"
Mani Mani used Special Beta!
"If this keeps up, I'm fin- wait!"
Tim threw the Sound Stone at Mani Mani!
"This time, it won't work!" Mani Mani said.
"Noo, this can't be!"
But it was.

Sorry. I'm done annotating Liyoshi posts until something happens.

---

Post #779, by Anthadd

"Finally!" Anthadd cried. "I found my hat."

LOL. Anthadd is awesome. All of the nonsense we've been reading these past 50 posts, and then that steaming pile of Liyoshi crap, and then... "I found my hat!" It makes me miss Flammie. I hope she never got around to killing herself. She was cool.

When he bent down to pick it up, an earthquake shook the caverns, trapping him in an underground cavern. The crackling of electricity returned, as it did earlier.
"You've got to be kidding me..." he groaned. "Another Electro Specter?"

No, no, no, see, this is Electrospecter, which is totally different. Also, Anthadd and Poo are about to join up? This thread just became totally awesome.

[This message has been edited by Anthadd (edited 05-03-2000).]

Post #780, by Mog116

(You're right, it was interesting. but you forgot one thing. We all left the room, so, if we're not their, then where ARE we? Think about it. If we're not in the room, then we must be in the REAL Eagleland. So, by my thoughts, it was a pretty stupid plot twist. Also, Who's watching the play? That Plot twist made me  )

Mog116 has apparently taken a level in Awesome recently, besides finally pointing out SS/MB's dual ACs and correctly identifying dhsu's "plot twist" as stupid.

Mog was tired of waiting, so he walked away.

I think he's referring to his request to add a second AC.

[MEANWHILE]

A wind blew through the Island. It was a cold wind. Then a small shadow appeared. What was it? It depends if I can Bring in two ACs. If I can, it's another AC (By me only). If I can't It's Death, trying to kill me. And He WILL succeed if I can't bring in two. (Actually, I'll come back when this is a NORMAL vacation IF)

C'mon PSI322, step in and rule one AC only! Just one time!

His threat to kill off his AC is pretty funny inasmuch as it's been almost 800 posts and nobody has paid more than the most passing attention to his AC. Not much of a threat when you're threatening to kill off someone who will not be missed.

Posts #756-760: 1-2 May 2000

Post #756, by EBPoo

"Hmmm..." Poo pondered. "I guess I'll join you two, but I'm not letting you ANYWHERE near my Sound Stone replica. I don't trust you.

Well played. 

Oh, and you can't ride in the Skyrunner II either. You'll have to walk." Chris and Nall began to walk away. "Hey! I was kidding about that last remark. You can ride!" Poo yelled after them. And so their journey together began. "We're heading for Lumine Hole," said Poo.

Hall.

---

Post #757, by Little Yoshi

"Y-you'll n-nev- *gasp*never b-beat *wheeze* me w-with *pant* s-stupid ol' p-prayer!"Mani Mani said.
Tim took the tinyest sip of water, he wanted to conserve it, but one day had already past(since I've got me some H2O here, I'll last longer than I said earlier)

And yet it feels so much longer than that. Please don't make me read much more of this. Please.

[Thank you, Nathan and Chris]

---

Post #758, by t0nberry22

Ton suddenly saw a sound stone appear in front of him. He grabbed it. "Wow... a sound stone with 6 of the 9 melodies!"
"Well, which ones are missing?" said Kiyo.
"Magnet Hill, Fire Springs, and that other one..."

Yet another content-free post. t0nberry is not endearing himself to this annotator.

---

Post #759, by dhsu

Click here for music!

Incredibly, that link to dhsu's ancient angelfire site still works 11 years later. It's the music that plays in Final Fantasy VI when something wacky is going on. It's a pretty good theme song for the Kiddie Klub.

Dhsu was hugging his pillow, sucking his left thumb, and surfing on the Internet with his right hand when he stumbled on a post entitled "The First Annual SM.net Gathering!" Interested, he clicked on the 20-page long post and was instantly sucked in!

A little confused and disoriented, he looked around a saw familiar EarthBound scenery, and a huge glass window to his right. A monstrous head was looking at him.

"What in the world are you doing in my computer?!?" it cried.

"Computer?" Dhsu questioned. "You don't play EarthBound on your computer."

"Try me, freak. Get out of my game!"

"What?! YOU'RE the freak, you lamer! Why, I would bash your face in if you weren't hiding behind that glass wall and if I weren't a week late for the SM.net Gathering! Good BYE! Oh yeah, and say 'fuzzy pickles'!"

And with a puff of flash powder smoke, Dhsu was gone, and so was the kid's game.

Um... right, then.

Milliseconds later, Dhsu fell out of the sky and landed with a painful thump on grassy ground.

There was a guy from the Elder Days... I can't quite recollect his name... but every time he entered #earthbound his first line would be, "[name] falls from sky!" Those were the days. Somebody help me out if you were there and remember who he was.

"Ah, here we are. Should be on the REAL Eagleland Island now."

He glanced down and saw that he was sitting on the imprint of a giant foot.

"Man, I've gotta lay off on those Peanut Cheese Bars..." Dhsu said to himself.

As he dusted himself off, he looked around and saw an unconscious Titanic Ant and the metal remains of its replica.

Wow, he's actually referencing the Titanicystein thing from like 500 posts ago. He must be friends with whoever wrote that; no, I won't go back and check. Leave me alone.

"Hmmm...looks like all the work's already been done for me. Where is everybody now?"

As he thought, he heard soft, beautiful music flowing from the place he was standing on.

"Wow, this is Giant Step, this is really Giant Step!" he exclaimed. "Oh man, I wish I had a Sound Stone with me..."

Then he remembered something. After much digging around in his infinitely deep pockets, he produced a slightly beat up, but perfectly working MP3 recorder. A click and five seconds later, he had recorded the melody of Giant Step.

Hahahahahaha! that was awesome. In your face, pretty much everyone else. Stupid regenerating Sound Stones.

Suddenly, the world turned white, and Dhsu had a black-and-white vision of his fluffy pillow at home. As the vision faded, Dhsu savored the warm and fuzzy feeling as long as he could.

"Wow, this is great!" he said. "I've got to find the other Sanctuaries and hear the whole song! I've always wanted that. But I've got a feeling some people out there need my help. Oh yeah...that's 'cause I was reading about them just now. Alright, ready or not SM.Netters, here I come!"

(By the way, how do you indent the paragraphs?)

You don't. This is an internet forum. You double-enter. You're already doing it right.

[This message has been edited by Dhsu (edited 05-02-2000).]

dhsu actually saved us from having easily the shortest five-post run in the Gathering.

---

Post #760, by StarmanDx

•hr•s kept praying.

• 10,784 HP of damage to Mani Mani!
• Tim's HP were maxed out!
• The Bottle of Water was sent to Tim via telepathy!

********

Chris could'nt focus at all while riding in the Sky Runner II to the Tenda Village in the Deep Darkness. First, he was out of Bottles of Water to send to Tim, second, he still had to get some melodies for his Sound Stone replica. While Nall rested beside him, Chris kept Checking his equipment and items. He made sure Nall had some strong armor, considering he was still at level two with hardly any skills at all. He sighed. Chris looked out the window, ondering if there was anything else he could do to make sure he and his friends would be safe.

Writing some content sometime would help keep you safe from this annotator's righteous wrath.

I'm totally out of ideas, he thought to himself. I can still pray, and help Tim, but I don't know how long he can last, or if Nall will last in Lumine Hole.

Dammit, people! H-A-L-L!

*sigh* I just wish I knew what to do... He sighed again. The only thing he could do now, is wait.

Would you mind not writing if you're just going to wait and not advance the plot? Thanks.

Posts #751-755: 1 May 2000

Post #751, by TsuramiSea

By the way, the rate of posting has once again exploded--after a couple days of ten or fewer posts a day, suddenly we're getting 4-5 posts an hour. I haven't checked, but I would guess 1 May was a Friday or Saturday.

TsuramiSea walked around the coast, wanting to see the perimeter before going to the outside party area. He noticed another figure squatting on the beach, but it wasn't Chris. He went up to the person.

The person grinned widely at seeing TsuramiSea. "BABY-EATER!" he screamed.

TsuramiSea looked surprised for the third or so time that day. "Um, hello..." he said. The other person just stared into his face with his silly grin. "Who are you?" asked TsuramiSea.

"pogopunkBABY-EATER!" shouted the person. TsuramiSea, deciding that this person just like to say baby-eater a lot, detached it, and arrived at "pogopunk". TsuramiSea knew pogopunk from #earthbound.

"Ah, hello. I'm TsuramiSea. What are you doing out here?"

"BABY-EATER!"

TsuramiSea decided that this conversation wouldn't get far. "Ummmm..... I'm exploring the party area. Maybe you could come with me and tell me about it?"

Then why are you continuing this conversation?

pogopunk nodded excitedly and jumped behind Tsurami. Of course Tsurami didn't know that pogopunk would do anything anyone asked him. The two walked to the party area, and they looked around, pogopunk shouting "baby-eater" the whole time. TsuramiSea found this a little disturbing, but although an odd one, he was glad to have a companion.
Man, you must be really desperate for companionship.
TsuramiSea came upon the 16-player N64.

My God! He read the early posts! There's no way he read the middle posts though, the last 300 of them or so. 

"OH MY GOSH!" he shouted. "This freakish N64 has 16 controller ports!!! I wonder what games are around?!" He checked the table. "Super Smash Brothers? I'll play that." He popped it in, and connected all 16 controllers, just in case. It was pretty, for there was a controller of every color - grey, blue, red, black, yellow, green, clear purple, clear ice blue, clear jungle green, clear orange, clear watermelon, and gold, plus extras of four of them.

Black is the only winning option, in case you were curious.

The game started up, and Tsurami went to multiplayer mode. Everything was unlocked. After setting the items to very high and the stock lives to 99, Tsurami went to the character select screen.

"16 PLAYER MULTIPLAYER?!" TsuramiSea went insane, selecting 15 computer players. But then he had an idea. "pogopunk! How about a Smash Brothers match?"

"BABY-EATER!" pogopunk claimed the second controller. TsuramiSea picked Kirby.

Picking Kirby is a sure sign of someone who takes winning a little too seriously.

"Do you have a favorite character?" he asked his friend.

"BABY-EATER!" was the reply.

I guess that would also be Kirby, right? Kirby eats everything.

Tsurami sighed. It was no use continuing that conversation. "All right, then, you just be Fox - he's cool."

pogopunk selected Fox. TsuramiSea decided to play Team Battle. Then, he noticed the other special multiplayer feature. "Whoa! Besides 16 player capability, in Team Battle there's not just Red, Blue, and Green teams, but also Yellow, Purple, and Orange! Cool!" TsuramiSea put himself and pogopunk on Orange team, and dividing the 14 other players as evenly as possible into the five other teams, got two players on the Yellow team, and three players on all the other teams. He set all the computer intelligence to 5.

That's pretty pathetic. Computer players on level 9 are still disappointingly easy to roast. 

Then, he selected the random course. "Awww, Zebes again? The computer always selects Zebes."

Man, that is the gospel truth right there.

The match began, and there was much smashing and exploding bombs. "Good thing level five computer is too stupid to dodge or stay away from bombs and mines," remarked Tsurami to pogopunk.

So is the level 9 computer, for that matter.

"BABY-EATER!" cried pogopunk. The two played the 16 player, 6 team, 99 stock live battle into the hour.....

As opposed to the 16 player, 6 team, 99 stock tape-delayed battle?

---

Post #752, by EBPoo

After landing in Onett and making his way through the Giant Step caves, Poo came face-to-face with Titanic Ant himself. "So, mortal, you wish to challenge me?"

"Sure, let's go, Insecto," replies Poo casually like he goes up against giant ants all the time. "Black Antoids, go!" Titanic Ant commanded. Two Black Antoids ran over and began attacking Poo.

In point of fact the Black Antoids that guard Titanic Ant in EarthBound are special Black Antoids that never attack you. The only thing they know how to do is cast Lifeup, and when they run out of PP they continue feebly trying to cast Lifeup until they die.

Poo sprayed a cloud of Insecticide Spray on them and they both fell over, dead. "All right, Red Antoids, go!" Titanic Ant ordered. Two Red Antoids rushed out and began casting PSI Fire spells against Poo.

Which Red Antoids don't do. They do have a very nasty biting attack, though.

"PK Freeze!" Poo shouted as Freeze crystals blasted out and froze the two helpless creatures. "GRRR...Gigantic Ants, go!" Titanic Ant yelled. Two Gigantic Ants jumped out. One of them knocked Poo into a wall and the other stung him with its stinger.

"PSI Starstorm!" Poo yelled as a shower of stars bombarded the two Ants and knocked them off into the chasm below.

This is getting to be too much like a Liyoshi post for comfort. C'mon, Poo, don't let me down!

"Well, well, well, well, well...looks like I'll have to take you on myself, Poo," Titanic Ant said. Poo drew his sword as Titanic Ant drew his Light saber.

I love the randomness of Titanic Ant wielding a lightsaber.

With one quick slice, Titanic Ant cut Poo's sword in half. "M--my--my sword! Noooooooooo! My...master...gave me...that sword for my excellent training in the art of Mu. He...he had to defeat 128 Starmen before he got it...and you...you just sliced it in half," Poo said with rage in his eyes. "Uh...uh...maybe I could glue it back together with Super Glue," Titanic Ant tried to compromise.

Wait, wasn't Titanic Ant already trying to kill Poo? Why doesn't he just cut his head off?

"Glue? GLUE???" Poo yelled before releasing a shower of giant stars on the Ant. Titanic Ant collapsed, but was not defeated yet. Poo quickly grabbed the Light saber, sliced Titanic Ant in half, and threw the saber down the chasm.

I'd think he'd want to keep it, since he lost his sword in all. Also: what chasm?

He used his PSI powers to bond the sword back together and then Poo claimed the power of Giant Step. "Only a few more to go," Poo said to no one but himself.

He's basically doing the same thing Liyoshi's doing, only he's a lot better at it.

---

Post #753, by StarmanDx

Chris woke up when he heard a noise in the cave. "What was that?!?!" He quickly woke up a now-annoyed Nall and quickly rushed in the cave, when he heard something up ahead...

This next part is indented because that's how it was in the original post; StarmanDx, showing spectacularly bad IF form, quoted EBPoo's entire post.

Originally posted by EBPoo:
After landing in Onett and making his way through the Giant Step caves, Poo came face-to-face with Titanic Ant himself. "So, mortal, you wish to challenge me?"

"Sure, let's go, Insecto," replies Poo casually like he goes up against giant ants all the time. "Black Antoids, go!" Titanic Ant commanded. Two Black Antoids ran over and began attacking Poo. Poo sprayed a cloud of Insecticide Spray on them and they both fell over, dead. "All right, Red Antoids, go!" Titanic Ant ordered. Two Red Antoids rushed out and began casting PSI Fire spells against Poo. "PK Freeze!" Poo shouted as Freeze crystals blasted out and froze the two helpless creatures. "GRRR...Gigantic Ants, go!" Titanic Ant yelled. Two Gigantic Ants jumped out. One of them knocked Poo into a wall and the other stung him with its stinger.

"PSI Starstorm!" Poo yelled as a shower of stars bombarded the two Ants and knocked them off into the chasm below. "Well, well, well, well, well...looks like I'll have to take you on myself, Poo," Titanic Ant said. Poo drew his sword as Titanic Ant drew his Light saber. With one quick slice, Titanic Ant cut Poo's sword in half. "M--my--my sword! Noooooooooo! My...master...gave me...that sword for my excellent training in the art of Mu. He...he had to defeat 128 Starmen before he got it...and you...you just sliced it in half," Poo said with rage in his eyes. "Uh...uh...maybe I could glue it back together with Super Glue," Titanic Ant tried to compromise.

"Glue? GLUE???" Poo yelled before releasing a shower of giant stars on the Ant. Titanic Ant collapsed, but was not defeated yet. Poo quickly grabbed the Light saber, sliced Titanic Ant in half, and threw the saber down the chasm. He used his PSI powers to bond the sword back together and then Poo claimed the power of Giant Step. "Only a few more to go," Poo said to no one but himself.

Chris ran forward, with Nall hanging on tight to his shoulder. They then ran into Poo where they should've seen Titanic Ant. "Poo? What's going on?! I was heading here to collect the Giant Step melody, when a noise woke me up. What happened?"

It would be awesome if now Poo was the Sanctuary guardian. You want a melody? Come get it!

"Simple," Poo responded. "I encountered, fought, and beat Titanic Ant. Then collected the Giant Step melody."

"Chris... you still don't have ANY melodies!" Nall griped.

"I know... I KNOW!!" Chris complained. "I was asleep and didn't notice what was going on. Say... want to join up, Poo?"

He might let him follow him around, but join up? I doubt it.

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Post #754, by Dr. Andonuts

(wow! i didn't know i put all that stuff on 16-player SSB)
(how do you do those dot things?)

He means bulleted lists. I hope to God he never figures out how to do them.

Nathan kneeled down in a prayer position.
Tim's prayer was answered by N-TH--.
-A-HA- felt Tim's danger and prayed for his safety.

My God, why are they doing this? Why??

Finished with that, Nathan continued on his quest for the piece of the sound stone that was lost in teleportation to Tim, knowing that if he did not find this piece, they would never defeat Lavos.

You're probably never going to defeat Lavos anyway. It amazes me that people didn't just find something better to do, rather than submit their plotlines to Falcon24's whims.

He had one clue, the time-space cords of where the piece was teleported to.

'Cords' is not, far as I'm aware, shorthand for 'coordinates'.

He thought, "Uh-oh, this piece went into the past. I wonder where I will end up." He put the cords into his teleportation program and pressed enter. He appeared in 199X, 100 feet above Threed on Eagleland Island. He quickly ran a program to temoraly make the air solid beneath him.

Sigh. No wonder him and Liyoshi are buddies.

To his surprise, the entire island was dark. There were no lights anywhere. He wondered what had happened. "Maybe the time line of Earthbound got changed because a piece of sound stone fell to Eagleland?" he wondered. He knew that if this had happened, it was up to him to put the timeline back on track.

I have no clue what any of that means. It probably means Dr. Andonuts is about to embark on a bizarre new plotline.

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Post #755, by Luna

After talking for a while, it was agreed that Luna, Waffle, and Mog would go to the Firesprings.
"Actually, if you guys don't mind, I'll stay here." Mog said.
"You wanna stay here? Why?" Waffle asked
"To get some rest, then continue on. Maybe we'll meet up again!"
"That's cool. We'll seeya later!" Luna yelled at Mog as she and Waffle teleported off towards te firesprings.

Wow. She ditched the s--- out of Mog the first instant she could. Again, that's really awful IF form; you don't just write somebody's AC out of your plotline because you don't like them. You ignore them until they take a hint.

This should be a big ego boost for waffy, though: Luna just ditched Mog so she could run around alone with him! That is legitimately exciting.

They landed with a huge bump, and started looking around.
"This place is MONDO huge." Luna gasped, very shocked. She was expecting it not to be half this big... Earthbound the game made it look so... so... SMALL.

That would be the point of giving your characters super-small sprites. It was to convey the notion that the Lost Underworld is huge while conserving resources.

"It's huge!" Waffle mumbled, looking at the place "Yet I still feel like I'm trapped in a box."
"Oh let's just go."
Suddenly, Luna tripped over somthing, and fell flat on her face.
"Oh the paaaaain... what did I trip over!?" Luna whined
"This!" Waffle answered, holding up a beautiful sparkling pendant.
"It's a sea pendant! Awsome! But you can have it. I still have this star pendant I grabbed from those crazy blue guys."

Luna also liked to conserve E's by taking them out of 'awesome'. Why that Sea Pendant makes any difference, I don't know.

"Okay... Now can we go?"
"I hope so."
So Waffle and Luna continued towards the firesprings, hoping that they wouldn't encounter anything overly dangerous.

Like another AC.

Posts #746-750: 1 May 2000

Post #746, by Little Yoshi

"Tim, there is no way you can defeat me!" Mani Mani said.

$25 says he's wrong.

Mani Mani used Special Omega!
"Wait, I think I'll just let you starve!"
"I'm not as stupid as that idiot Pokey, who turned off this device, which did however, allow me to save it. Mwa ha ha!"
"Are you sad, Tim?"
"Tim Tim Tim Tim Tim Tim Tim Tim Tim Tim Tim Tim Tim Tim Tim Tim Tim Tim Tim Tim Tim Tim!"
"I'm h-a-p-p-y"
"Here, a treat for your wait!" Mani Mani said, using Flash Omega. Tim fell to his knees, unharmed, but stunned. He had actually meant to go to this position, as he closed his eyes, put his hands together, and prayed from the bottom of his heart.
"Th...that can't beat m- me!" Mani Mani said.

I knew it! I knew he always wanted to be a girl. Also: in before he cries for attention again.

"It's n-no use, Tim!"
"You m-might as w-well save your breath!"
"Your loss!"
"You look way too pitiful, Tim! I tell you what. I have some kindness in my heart, Tim, so I'll say this duel was a draw, and let you go! How about it?"Tim simply shook his head and continued.

Well, I really don't see the downside to just walking away.

"You must be an insane fool! Anyone, and I mean ANYONE would let this duel be a draw instead of dehydrating! Perhaps I hit you too hard, so I'll make the decision for you!"
"Tim may make any decidion he wishes, but only he can end this duel, whether it is by killing you, killing himself, or excepting your offer ON HIS OWN FREE WILL!" The Apple of Enlightment said.

SHUT THE F--- UP FAT MAN, THIS AIN'T NONE OF YOUR GODDAMN BUSINESS.

Tim continued praying.
Mani Mani took 5046 HP of damage!
"WHAT!!!???!?!!?!?!?!!?" Mani Mani boomed.
"I now must try in this battle," It said.
Tim's prayer was absorbed by the darkness!
Tim's prayer was absorbed by the darkness!
Tim's prayer was still absorbed by the darkness!
(I'll say that in a page, Tim has dehydrated, unless you guys post way too fast)

As predicted. This is like his sixth post that connects to the rest of the thread in not the slightest way and involves no one else, and he can't figure out why everyone is ignoring him.

[This message has been edited by Little Yoshi (edited 05-01-2000).]

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Post #747, by Gauntlet Wizard

"Aaaaah!" Siris yelled. "What the freak is that thing?!" He instinctively fired off a magic lance from his staff, which hit the beast in face, stunning it. He, Osman, and Alan shifted into battle positions and began to exchange blows with the beast, Siris whacking the mysterious creature with his magically imbued staff, Alan hitting it with his surfboard (you do use a surfboard, right?) and Osman using his superior swordfighting skills with his PSI Scimitar. The beast attacked continuously with its claws and teeth. Ocassionally, Siris cast a Blaze, Freeze or Bolt spell, and Alan tried his PSI Tsunami. But the beast kept on going, showing no signs of weakening.
"It's too strong!" Siris exclaimed. "We need to change our attack plans!"

If you had some better way of fighting, why are you not using it already? Just giving it a chance to kill you for sportsmanship's sake?

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Post #748, by loid

Kiyo had woken up from camping in the forest, it was still night. If he wanted to go back he had to go through Lavos and to do that he needed allies, and he needed sancutary power. He woke up beacuse of shouting coming from a tree, It was Ton, he was stuck.

I smile every time this happens. Two lonely boys alone in the world find one another. Hilarity ensues.

"Oh man, do you need help?"
"Yes! Get me out of here!"
Kiyo got Ton out of the tree and explained everything about Lavos and the Sanctuaries.
"Woah! We need sanctuary power if we want to survive! But from where?....."

It's been like 400 posts now and there's still no clear explanation for why people need Sanctuary power. I'm being a real stickler about this.

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Post #749, by StarmanDx

Chris and Nall had barely travelled in the cave leading to Giant Step when Chris felt something and kneeled down.

"Something wrong, Chris?" Nall asked, worried.

"No," Chris replied. "Just something I need to do..."

Awww! I smiled again. Two straight posts where lonely boys found each other!

• Tim's prayer was answered by C••i•.
• •h••• felt Tim's danger, and prayed for his safety.

• 6798 HP of damage to Mani Mani!
• Tim's HP were maxed out!
• The Bottle of DX Water was sent to Tim via Telepathy!

That is not how telepathy works. I do not think 'telepathy' means what you think it means.

Chris got up. "You sure you're okay?" Nall inquired. "You look like you were fighting something extremely strong."

"Trust me, Nall. I'm fine," was all Nall could get out of Chris, and they continued. While they worked there way up to the Shining Spot, Chris still prayed for Tim's safety, hoping he wouldn't dehydrate. He didn't know what was going on, or why Tim was in such danger, but he kept on praying.

Or, you know, who the hell Tim is and why I would care, and if I care, why I would attempt praying for him instead of checking my medication dosage.

********

"Something's not right here," Chris muttered to Nall as they reached the famous Magic Butterfly place. "Most of the enemies we faced were either from Chrono Trigger, or were Lavos spawn..."

I've been saying that for a couple hundred posts now!

"This doesn't feel right..." Nall responded. That was the last they talked for a while, as they rested and licked their wounds. Though Nall hadn't been doing much frontline fighting, he had been injured quite badly.

And since you never bothered to tell us who Nall is or why he's here, we don't care.

Slowly, night began to set in. "We should camp for the night," Chris said. Nall nodded, and they set up their tent.

Usually it's a better idea to set up camp before you commence resting.

[This message has been edited by StarmanDx (edited 05-01-2000).]

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Post #750, by Little Yoshi

Tim had nothing better to do. He sent Tonberry his melodies(all but Fire Springs and Magnet Hill, and #9)

No, I have no foggy idea what the hell that was all about, either.

Posts #736-740: 30 April, 1 May 2000

Post #736, by EBPoo

"Er...leave, tonberry. This is MY Sanctuary now," Poo said before slicing Shrooom into two symmetrical parts. Off Poo went to the Rainy Circle Sanctuary.

Poo is even awesome at slapping away annoying kiddies. He provides only middling comedy value, but he's been the best poster of the last while, or at least the most readable.

After absorbing the power with his Sound Stone replica, Poo went into Stonehenge. "It's so peaceful in here," Poo said to no one but himself. "I think I'll give Luna a PSI call. No charge at all." Poo focused his PSI powers into his head and began talking to Luna via telepathy. "Hi Luna, this is Poo."

He's not really holding back with his Luna admiration. Chris should be taking notes.

"Hi Poo, uh...this is Luna." All of a sudden, Stonehenge shook as hundreds of Starmen beamed down into Stonehenge. "BEEP Human...WHIRR," said one Starman. Poo quickly ran out of Stonehenge just as a Starman blasted a beam at him. I'm outta here, thought Poo. Poo hopped back into the Skyrunner II and headed for Onett. "Titanic Ant, here I come!"

I don't know what the hell Stonehenge had to do with anything there.

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Post #737, by StarmanDx

I have no memory of this guy at all.

(Footnote: The Chris being added by me is a new AC and has nothing to do with the one already involved)

Then you should call yourself Chris S. or whatever, like Warrior of the Eye (remember him? of course not) did.

Chris and Nall teleported rather quickly to Eagleland island. "I hope we're not too late..." he muttered to his white dragon.

Nall was only extremely perky. "Relax. This actually feels COMFORTABLE to me. It's just like when I travelled with Alex!" Chris sighed as he endured one of Nall's long stories of how Alex was always late when he went to practice singing with Luna.

I don't know who the hell Nall is, I don't know who the hell Alex is (other than Alex is Luna's actual first name, of which StarmanDx is unaware) and I don't know what the hell Luna has to do with any of this. Just another fanboy, I guess.

********

Chris finally arrived at Onett. His first thought was, "Where is everyone?" He was just outside of Ness's House, near the meteor landing site.

Suddenly, Nall bursted forward. "What the heck are you DOING?!?!" Chris shouted.

Nall chimed in, "I want to fight this Runaway Dog!" Chris merely sighed.

• You encounter the Runaway Dog.
• Nall attacks! 1 HP of damage to the Runaway Dog!
• The Runaway Dog is making a loud, piercing howl!
• Chris whispered something to Nall.

"WHAT?! 21 HP?!?! I'm only dealing 1 HP per blow!" Nall whined.

"Tsk, tsk," Chris told him. "You should've equipped a weapon."

"But I can only equip Yo-yos and slingshots!!"

"Hang on, I'll get you some."

• Chris left the battle.
• Nall attacks! 1 HP of damage to the Runaway Dog!
• The Runaway Dog used a biting attack! 2 HP of damage to Nall!
• Chris ran back!

It's still better than the stuff Liyoshi does.

"Here, I got it," Chris said as he handed Nall a weapon.

• Nall used the Slingshot instead. 10 HP of damage to the Runaway Dog!
• The Runaway Dog is making a loud, piercing howl!
• Nall attacks! 13 HP of damage to the Runaway Dog! The Runaway Dog became tame!
YOU WON!

• Nall gained 4 exp.
• Nall's level is now 2!
• Nall's offense went up by 4!
• Nall's defense went up by 3!
• Nall's speed went up by 2!
• Nall's guts went up by 3!
• Nall's vitality went up by 1!
• Nall's maximum HP went up by 15!
• Nall's maximum PP went up by 5!
• Nall realized the power of Lifeup Alpha!

He forgot to make his IQ go up. Or maybe he wants us to believe his IQ is already the maximum possible for humans?

"It's about time," Chris sighed. "That was the longest Runaway Dog fight I've ever seen!"

Thank God the rest of us can just skip it. Which we did.

Nall got irritated. "What'd you EXPECT?! I was only at level ONE!!!"

"Whatever," Chris griped. (Whatever, (c) 1999, 2000 Squall Leonhart)

See? "Whatever" is something jackasses say. 

"All that matters now is finding everyone else and getting informed on what's going on."

That means go back and read the rest of the thread before you post any more nonsense to waste my time with.

[This message has been edited by StarmanDx (edited 04-30-2000).]

[This message has been edited by StarmanDx (edited 04-30-2000).]

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Post #738, by SuperSpeedy/Mankey Boy

(Lavos isn't dead, to note you.)

I guess StarmanDx tried to make himself the sixth person or so to instakill Lavos, then went back and edited it after he got bitched out for it.

Dave kept falling. He landed in a tree, safe from death.
Dave sighed.

Yeah. Wow. We're all shocked he didn't die. (Note: Don't try this at home. Falling from a great height onto a tree, rather than the ground, will only make the job of cleaning up your remains even more difficult and disgusting for the fire crew.)

"Now to find Poryhedron!" said Dave. "I must deliver the antidote to him. Where's the Giygan Spaceship?"

I am giving a medal to whoever first points out that SS/MB has been operating two ACs since the first time he posted here. I really think no one--not a single person--has yet read any of his posts.

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Post #739, by loid

Meahnwhile Loid was back in.... wherever The Lavos nest was and it didnt look good...
"GUYS? Lavos laid eggs! And I think it's still alive an..."

Yeah. He's acting surprised not one living soul read more than three words of his last post. I'm pretty sure no one is reading any posts outside their own plotlines right now.

sudenly Lavos turned his attention towars him.
"(dont just stand there. Run!"
Kiyo ran as fast as he could, eventually geting stranded in a deep forest, he was forced to camp when it was to dark to see the trail.
"Ah man I might die out here..."

Would you mind? We would appreciate that.

You know, I'm hard on loid, but I should at least give him credit for keeping on going out there and doing stuff, even though no one is paying any attention to him. That rates him a cut above the rest of the kiddy klub.

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Post #740, by StarmanDx

Yeah. So he did not in fact make any effort to read anything else going on the thread. Prepare for yet another pointless solo post; those seem to be the rage right now.

After roaming around town with Chris knocking the enemies away with the Legendary Bat (as it seemed easier), Chris and Nall went to the Travelling Entertainer's Shack. "Are you sure about this?" Nall asked. "We haven't even visited the meteor site!"

"Well, let's see. The main town wasn't blocked off," Chris started. "The Sharks are singing Christmas Carols out of season instead of fighting. Want 100 other reasons this isn't like EarthBound for the SNES?!"

Hahaha! I laughed. That was good.

"Okay, okay!" Nall shouted, giving in. "But we still don't have the key!"

"We don't need it," Chris said, winking in a way similar to Nash (from Lunar).

ACs, needing keys! Rich indeed, rich indeed.

He pulled out a paperclip and began on the lock. "I learned this when I was training how to transform. Specifically, into Setzer Gabbiani. But most of the others, including Setzer himself, would complain if they saw me perform one of these, 'theif acts'. Except Locke, who called it, 'the Treasure Hunter's way of opening the door if you lose the key'.

Again, pretty funny, even if he doesn't know how to spell 'thief'.

But I know he's a theif." As Chris finished his story, he had finished picking the lock, and the two went through the shack, and on their way to Giant Step, the first "Your Sanctuary" location.

"But why Giant Step?" Nall asked, confused.

"Simple. It's the first place Ness visits in order to gain the strength to beat Giygas. Second, I somehow feel it's gonna be useful... And, the last reason is that it should work with this look-alike of the Sound Stone that came with our invitation."

Nobody else got Sound Stones with their invitations. That makes ChrisDx special. The only way we know this isn't Chris is... well, I don't have to to say it. You know.