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Showing posts with label murkkie. Show all posts
Showing posts with label murkkie. Show all posts

21 May 2012

Posts #1021-1025: 16 May 2000

Post #1021, by t0nberry22

Ton looked back... and saw Dark Ton, standing on top of Lavos, laughing evily. "Bwahahahah! Now I and Lavos shall rule the WORLD!" DT then jumped inside the Lavos Shell. "Oh no! Guys, I completely forgot about Dark Ton! We gotta go after him!" Ton then ran for the Lavos Crater.
(Guys, you can help if you want, but don't finish him off. I want to do that, OK?)
You'd think a sapient being would be bright enough to realize that last line there is a perfect way to make sure nobody wants to join your plotline. So if that was his goal, then well played. People do not like being ordered around when it's not absolutely necessary.
Pretty much the only ways to get people to accept being ordered around by you are (1) if you are paying them, or (2) if their life or livelihood is in jeopardy and you are the most competent person in the room.




Post #1022, by Traceh

At first Tracy was a bit overwhelmed; a little shy and reserved. All the sudden it wasnt just her and guru, but a bunch of new friends as well. She kept her mouth shut for a while, waiting for the right time to speak and make herself known.
I'm probably imagining things when I detect a tiny dash of forlornness in her comment that it's not just her and guru anymore. Actually I read this mostly as 'I want this plotline to continue but *I* don't want to be the one to decide what the hell we're doing.'
The ride in the elevator was somewhat more uplifting.
Ho ho ho. I see what you did there.
She had found that by studying the way people walk, stand, and talk, you can learn much about them.
Indeed you can, Traceh. Indeed you can. Though I don't know why this comment is thrown in at the particular place it is.
She was glad when the elevator finally came to a stop and they could all get some fresh air.

Trying her best to seem friendly (bad first impresions are never fun) she made quiet conversation with them, being her noramly sarcastic yet friendly self. They walked down the hall of the hotel and stopped somewhere in the middle.
It is very, very hard to be both friendly and sarcastic at the same time. It's probably impossible, in fact. Sarcastic is not an endearing personality trait. It's a flaw you get away with if you're witty about it and/or good at life in other ways. It's a flaw you don't get away with otherwise, which is basically the life story of most of 4chan's population.
"Alright," began Juliana, "I'll take Tracy to my room so she can get freshned up, guruzeth can go with you guys and do the same. Letts all meet up back here in about an hour."
I think it's fascinating that Traceh deigns here that PSI322 is the one that bosses everyone around. And also, for that matter, that (in Traceh's mind) Juliana is singling out guruzeth specifically for such instructions. Remember that, AC-wise, Juliana and guruzeth have just met for the first time. It would make more sense if Juliana had said 'Chris can go with you guys and do the same.' It shows that the Juliana-guruzeth connection was already pretty strong in Traceh's mind.
"Right, we can decide what to do next then," said Poo.
Read: someone else please decide what to do next?




Post #1023, by Falcon24
(woo hoo, first AC post in a while :] )
As opposed to OOC posts. Also that was originally a colon-closeHTMLtag sign smiley, but I had to change it because (as you know very well if you've read Pikachu3164 posts) wordpress is retarded and can't render HTML open/close tags.
"Endless night..." Falcon found himself somewhere between Earth and the stars, a place few go. He seemed to be suspended, floating. "Lavos is way too powerful, I underestimated it...and now look at me, dead."
If being dead is the qualification for visiting this place, then Falcon24 is quite wrong; everyone goes there eventually.
He was speaking to himself of course, for he was alone in this dark abyss. He did not have control over his own body, as if he was in a state of suspended animation. It was a lonely place, a place where one could do nothing but reflect. "...how did this all start?"
If that truly is what the afterlife is like, that would really suck. You would go bats--- insane from the loneliness after about two weeks, tops.
He remembered it vividly. The moment he arrived on the island, a ball of fire descending on the tropical thicket below. He had come to party, as anyone would have done...yet when he got there, something had possessed him. It was as if someone knew of his arrival. The instant he set foot on the beach he was enslaved by an incomprehensible power.
Falcon24 is very good at making himself important. It is one of his most characteristic skills, actually, and it's a very useful one to have: one of the most crucial elements to becoming important is carrying yourself as though you already are. Falcon24 was always an expert at this.
He recalled a haunting voice in his head, echoing through his thoughts. "Gather the sanctuary melodies, they will be essential in your future as well as ours..." is what it said. The Sound Sapper was a thing of pure evil, and he should have known that the moment it was delivered to him, it was no mere coincidence. Yet he understood now. The Randites saw him as a perfect avatar to summon their ruler. These same Randites were controlling his thoughts, directing him what to do.
We still do not have a clue what the hell the Randites are or what the hell they really want.
Who, or what, were the Randites? It became clear to Falcon that the Randites did not control Lavos, rather, he controlled them. They acted merely as his emissaries. For millions of years they had lived on the Earth, watching the planet's creatures and technology progress. When the time was right they set their plans into motion. They awaited the arrival of the chosen ones.
You have to remember that the Gathering happened before very many people had played Chrono Cross. Chrono Cross pulled off the amazing achievement of providing an even more stupid explanation for the events of Chrono Trigger than these Gathering writers did.
Yet still, who were they? To be able to live so long, and also be the minions of Lavos. Falcon's brain made the connection. It only made sense that they must be beings of other races enslaved by Lavos. In every time and space there are one or two pure beings who become corrupt by the foul touch of Lavos. Much like Queen Zeal. They live forever as a part of Lavos, his eternal slave, aiding him in his quest to feed on planets.
Well, unless somebody, possibly including their own child, comes along and murders them. That puts a kink in the 'live forever' plan.
If that unknown power hadn't brought him back on the true path, he would have become one of them. He feared that Poo may also have been enslaved by Lavos, yet has not yet awakened .
I wonder whether he threw that in with Poo's permission. Probably.
The Sound Sapper...it affected all it came into contact with. Falcon recalled the incident in Pink Cloud cave when he happened upon pogopunk. pogo had touched the decrepite stone, and afterwards Falcon felt as if he had gained something, yet he knew not what. As Falcon hovered motionless in that Dark Abyss, he pondered what it could be.

Of course! pogo and he were linked in some way. Then he wasn't truly dead! As long as pogo was alive, Falcon only had one foot in the grave. He still could sense things, he could sense where pogo was and what he was thinking. Falcon attempted to reach out to pogo and call him.

"pogo! It's Falcon! Where are you? I need your help!"
I gather this is supposed to be understood as retcon to be chronologically placed before pogopunk's most recent post. It's a long-winded introduction to why Falcon24 is returning from the dead (and possibly as a Good Guy), and yeah, it doesn't advance the plot much. But you have to admit it's extremely well written by our standards.




Post #1024, by murkkie

(so confused)
Long form of the above: I am lazy and I do not want to read the eight jillion words that have been written in the past week. Can someone just reach out and pull me into their plotline and quickly summarize what's going on so I can participate and feel loved?





Post #1025, by PSI322

Juliana led Tracy down the hallway to her hotel room, where she stopped to fumble for her keys in her pocket. After locating them, she unlocked the door and showed Tracy inside.

"Here, why don't you go into the bathroom and get out of those wet clothes while I look for some clean, dry ones for you to put on?" Juliana suggested in a calm voice. Tracy, still feeling the tiniest bit shy, nodded and went inside. "You can leave them in the bathtub for now, I guess, since they're soaked," Juliana called. After sifting through a few drawers, she located a clean pair of shorts and a shirt, fairly similar to the clothes she was wearing, herself, at the moment.
I'm really curious why there are various clothes that fit Traceh sitting around in the hotel room. Actually, you know what? Forget I said that. One of the rules I live by is 'beware asking questions to which you will regret learning the answers'. I do note for the record that PSI322 described neither the shorts nor the shirt as 'cute'.
Opening the bathroom door a crack, Juliana dropped the clothes on the countertop while Tracy was in the shower. "There you go," she said, shutting the door once more.

A short while later, Tracy emerged from the bathroom, freshened up and clothed in something dry for a change. "Thanks, Juliana," she said with a smile.

"No problem, Tracy," Juliana said as she rose from her seat on the bed. "Now, let's go down to the lobby to meet the guys.
You can almost hear the excitement in her voice there, right?
We can get acquainted a little on the way down. The Starmen.Net girls have to stick together, you know?" They both laughed as they exited the room and proceeded towards the elevators...
This post in summary: Friends Being Friends.
PSI322 was very big on the concept of Starmen.Net Girls Sticking Together. Back in 1999 she, Umi and someone named A.L. Holby were pretty much the only three females active on the forums; PSI322 and A.L. Holby (who both were and are made of awesome) were made moderators by guruzeth pretty close to concurrently, and at PSI322's suggestion guruzeth made Umi a moderator (I think when the Beyond EarthBound forum was inaugurated). PSI322 declared the three of them the Mod Squad and made a big deal out of it. Girl Power was very much her thing.

15 May 2012

Posts #1006-1010: 15 May 2012

I think this may be a first: I'm posting Annotated Gathering on an anniversary of the actual posts' origin. Today marks 12 years--12 years!!--since these five posts were originally posted. On the nose, too; it's 18:13 as I write these words, and these five posts span from 14:31 to 18:33. It will probably be right around 18:33 when I put this post up.
Post #1006, by Pikachu3164

And Pikachu responded... [My head hurts.]

"Pikachu! You're okay!"

[My head hurts.]

"Yeah, well, we beat the Plague Rat of Doom. Let's go the melody."

[My head hurts.]

Pikachu, Tim, Nathan, and Shock Bird climbed up the ladder to the Magnet Hill. Pikachu and whoever else in my group that doesn't have the melody used their Sound Stones, and then decided to think of a plan later.
Later is always the best time to think of a plan.
They exited the sewer, and met up with Poryhedron.

"Pikachu! How'd it go?"

[My head hurts.]
Your main takeaway from this part is that the Kiddie Klub has agreed, with or without so many words, not to make any further issue of their multiple ACs. I can't remember if guruzeth/PSI322 pushed the issue or not.




Post #1007, by Chris

After searching for a few minutes, Chris found himself a nice spot to watch the sunrise. A few tourists were on the beach, but other than that, the silence of the ocean only served to accent Chris' thoughtful mood.
It's odd because I don't remember there being any tourists on the beach back when this all got started. Continuity is falling apart! On an IF thread!
He sat on the sand, watching as the darkness turned into the predawn grey, and wondered what he might do today, whether there was anything he could do.
Besides sit around angsting, I presume. Which appears to be the only thing he's good at, or at least comfortable with.
Slowly, the first rays of sunlight crept onto the shore, and then, the sun began to appear on the horizion. At first it was only a tiny sliver, but soon, Chris saw the whole disk rising up into the low sky. The land began to warm up, and more tourists arrived at the beach to enjoy the Summers oceanfront.
I'm not sure if this kind of writing came naturally to him, or if he was consciously working to imitate PSI322's style in his effort to impress her.
After a while, Chris rose from his place, and began brushing the sand off of himself.
Wait, at what point did he end up on the beach? In his last post he was in a hotel room, having distinctly left his designated rock. I'm confused.
He looked around, and walked towards a small dock situated above the water. There, he threw a few handfuls of sand into the water and watched it fade away into the water.
In this sentence you will notice the unnecessarily repeated prepositional phrase in this sentence.
Amusing himself and feeling a bit better, he decided to return to the hotel and find something to do.
It's funny because the way he wrote it is slightly awkward and suggests 'amusing himself' is separate from the sand-throwing. Meaning he did something else after that to, er, amuse himself. ...yeah.
"PSI322 at your service," were the first words he heard as he walked through the doors, and saw Juliana with three other people.
And turned greener than the Incredible Hulk, but without the muscles.
'She looks much better know,' Chris thought to himself as he strolled up to the people he didn't know.
I think he's kind of publicly crying about PSI322's quasi-rejection of him with the 'she looks much better (now that she's in someone else's company)', but it's not helping him at all. Because yeah, that is in fact exactly correct. His highlighting it only highlights his relatively poor position right now.
"Ah, more newcomers. Welcome. I'm sorry there aren't more people here, they're off exploring the inner island, where a battle to save the world is being waged. In the meantime, I'm glad to meet you. I see you've already met PSI322. I'm Chris, the administrator of the boards."
Um. He does realize that he's introducing himself as the administrator (as if he alone was The Man) to freaking guruzeth, right? You know, guruzeth? Supreme Dictator For Life? the guy who, you know, made you an administrator like two months ago?
It's like he aaaaaalmost but not quite grasped what I said a couple Chris posts ago, about direct warfare against guruzeth holding his only sliver of PSI322 hope. He just couldn't quite bring himself to follow it through.
"I'm EBPoo, and this is Traceh." EBPoo said, introducing himself and his companion.
Traceh was guruzeth's companion, actually. Chris switching her to being EBPoo's companion seems to be indicative of Chris having already written off PSI322 and guruzeth as together. That or Chris never read any guruzeth posts, and actually only knows he's there because of PSI322's last post.
"So, you're Chris," the third person said. "Well, here's your chance to meet your boss. I'm guruzeth."
No, Chris! No! Nooooooo! See? He was SO close to getting it right! And then he backs off and acknowledges guruzeth's superiority. I do appreciate, though, that he makes guruzeth come across as a dick. It shows that Chris pretty much thought that's what he was. And he was right, guruzeth truly was a dick.
"Ah. A pleasure, guruzeth, to meet you in person.
This would be a good spot to apologize for pretending to be The Man. You'd think parents would still say sensible things to their kids like "son, if you ever try to pass yourself off to a group of people as The Man, for f---'s sake make sure the actual Man isn't among them first!"
Oh, and good morning, Juliana." Chris decided to say nothing more, lest he offend her by reminding her of last night.

"Well, now that we're all here, what should we do now?" asked Juliana in a friendly tone.
I like how Chris is deciding how Juliana feels for her.
"Well, Traceh and I just finished floating down the Scaraba river and into the ocean, so we could do with some towels and a change of clothes." guruzeth replied.
OK, so he did read guruzeth's posts, and apparently Traceh's to boot. So it was definitely that first thing I said up there.
"I've got something I could get you, guru. Traceh, I'm sure Juliana, I mean, PSI could help you out there." Chris answered, leading the way back to the elevators.
Why did he go out of his way to call her 'PSI' instad of 'Juliana' all of a sudden? Is he being standoffish? I can't really tell.




Post #1008, by Mog116

(Uh... KAY! Im sorry bout how I didn't answer. I was to absorbed in Wild Arms2. Yes, it's out, for any of you that care.)
I don't even remember anything called Wild Arms 2 or what it would even be about. Apparently it was a semi-popular series. Wild Arms 1, 3 and 5 are featured in the Let's Play Archive, but 2 is not.
(Uh.. Wait, where am I? I'm not sre because I was too confused of trying to read that last page, and I kept getting everything confused with My Fangame I'm making.) (So, Where am I? Anyone know?)
His attempts to make himself seem busy and important are rather grimacingly pathetic. Also, read the thread yourself you chucklef---.





Post #1009, by murkkie

(I think we are still in the hole)
I don't know or care what that means. And why is murkkie popping out of nowhere after posting nothing for like a week just to say this to Mog116? Moving right along...




Post #1010, by Mog116

No, where at the hotel. I'm to lazy and confused to post, though.
I am pretty certain they're not at the hotel. It appears Mog116 has decided to follow the action, which appears to be in team guruzeth right now. Which reminds me, where is Tengu Man? We haven't seen him for a while now.

22 November 2011

Posts #946-950: 10 May 2000

Post #946, by Pikachu3164

STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING NOW!
Yikes! OK, OK, I put down my orange cookie. What's on your little mind?
Okay. This isn't part of the story, but I'm confused. I'm seeing some people say Lavos is in Fourside.

I've seen people say he's in Saturn Valley.

WHERE THE HECK IS LAVOS? IF IDON'T FIND OUT SOON, I'M GOING TO GET MAD!
No! PLEASE! ANYTHING but that! Don't get mad please we can't bear it :(
...or something? I guess? I'm not sure exactly what reaction he was hoping to elicit from his readers. Assuming there are any.
If he had obtained enlightenment by now, he'd realize it makes no difference where Lavos is.




Post #947, by Anthadd

After grimacing over the Mammoth Burger he was forced to eat, Anthadd pondered the ways he could escape the Lost Underworld, being trapped, essentially, with no Teleport PSI users at the ready.
Obviously there is only one way to escape the Lost Underworld: You must learn PSI Teleport. We already know, because you tipped us off in the first, or "topic", sentence, that you are going to spend the rest of the post doing exactly that.
While in the Lost Underworld, he thought it quite a brilliant idea to acquire the Fire Springs, should it be rebuilt by now, had it been destroyed.
That's the first reference to Falcon24's silly "Sound Sapper" I've seen in, I don't know, 500 posts?
Anthadd neared the rock that was, essentially, the prophet of the Tendas.
"You wish to escape, do you not?"
"Are you psychic or something? Yes, psychic ability has been neither proven nor disproven, but I have a feeling that it does exist, as I do believe extraterrestrial life and most of the mythical monsters believed to live in the various lakes to exist."
"You're a mouthful, and then some. And as you so indirectly answered me through another question, I will inform you as to the proper method of escape. By now, the Fire Springs has recovered, and you may acquire its power. Then, return here, and I will bestow upon you the power of PSI Teleport Alpha."
Ohhh, a fetch quest! I love those!
Anthadd set off to leave, but the rock spoke once more.
"Wait. I have hidden below me weapons and defensive items. Take them. Your acting alone suggests you require them."
Oh, come on, just buy the damn things from the guy that's standing like ten feet to your right.
"No. There may be someone weaker than I, acting alone as well, who will have greater need of those items."
"Fine, be that way," the rock muttered. And Anthadd walked off in a southwesterly direction.
My first thought was maybe he's inviting someone else to tag along, but if so he just insulted whoever might do so by calling them weaker than himself. Nobody's going for that bait. Now I guess he's just kind of showing how generous he is.




Post #948, by murkkie

"Well, are there any "Your Santuary" locations left?" Andrew asked. [Well, first we have to get out of this pit] Mog replied as he stared up at the opening of the hole seven feet above them.
Mog's in at least two, maybe three places at the same time right now. I don't know that murkkie's going to make it as an IF poster.
[This message has been edited by murkkie (edited 05-10-2000).]





Post #949, by SirMontyG

"Nowhere to go, Scruffy.." Evil Sir told me in almost a singing voice. I was completly terrified at my own death, and at the hands of myself! But then I remembered what he had told me a little while ago: that I was fighting for my confidence! I understood what to do

"Like heck there isn't!!" That's when I pulled a matrix.
I don't have a foggy clue why Major Asshole suddenly switched to the hideously bad first person narration.
I jumped strait up, grabed the stall's divider, and skimmed the tops of the stalls close enough to jump to the door. Evil spewed lead at an incredible rate, and got my tux a few times, but I made it to the door and ran to the wester wing of the facility unscathed.

"Ahhh, this is gonna be good!" Evil laughed and quickly persued.

"Seeing that this is my mind.." While running for my life, I consintrated on a gameshark code giving me a PP7 that could blast open any door, and it worked! The other half of the bulding was now at my disposal.
He's still treating this like a lucid dream. Wait, is this even Magicant anymore?
Evil Sir, realizing the code after seeing the door blown down at the end of the corridor, desided to make a code for himself
"Ha ha, try consintraiting with THIS! SOUND GLITCH!!!"
Desided? Consintraiting? Did he hire loid on as a special guest writer for this post?
The music changed from Take Five to a garbled version of the game music. I remember seeing this code on the net, trying it once, and never trying it again. Unfotunatly, my bad side remembered that to. This wouldn't be a problem, but the noise is so distracting! I couldn't consentrate, and therefore couldn't change wepons or anything. He was now in control.

"Sirrrr...come out come out...c'mon, nobody likes a COWARD!"
True, but then again, nobody really likes a corpse either.
"NNNnnnn...must concentrate...Ah ha!" I said in a low voice

I then thought about all the ACs who had made this island possible. I realized that this would sound corny, but maybe the island was really only created due to the power of all of our thoughts, goals, and dreams put together..But the poit was, I began to think about all the cool AC's that made all this possible, and realized that, on the physical plane, DarkTon and Evil Kyio would not be easy to defeat. I thought about this, harder, harder, over the music, over the noise, over everything! I could consentrate.

The evil entity walked through the door facing the gas tank room.
"Ahh, James, so glad you could make it."

Evil, being a sport, tagged along.
"It was too easy, Alec."

"Well, half of everything is luck, Evil."

"And the other half, Sir?"

"Confusion!" I clicked a button on my watch, and blew up all the gas tanks in the building, causing a green haze to eminate in the room. "Beaten at your own game, buddy!" and I shimmied out the convaor belt route to the outside

"No! Must...Escape...Wait!" Evil stoped for a moment and concentrated..

On the outside, I looked down to see that I was holding a gas mask. He was going to escape.
I don't know. None of this has the slightest relevance to anything and it doesn't really belong in IF, but it's pretty amusing to read anyway. I'd be more minded to give Liyoshi a pass if he wrote something that at least mildly entertained me.
"SIR! WHERE'D YOU RUN TO? QUIT HIDING AND SHOW YOURSELF!!" although alive, Evil desperatly gasped for air. He stood outside the platform on the runway.

"For England, buddy!" I muddered to myself as I launched a round from the tank parked out back.
Well, it's his own fault if he was too stupid to see that coming.
Evil Sir's eyes became huge.
An explosion could be heard for miles.
The static noise stopped.
He was defeated.

And then I woke up. No big power gains, level up, new PSI moves, I just woke up. But I did have one new atribute: understanding. I realized who I was and what I should do. My goals were clear, my mind set, and I was going to accomplish what I set out to do. Defeat DarkTom and Evil Kyio. Of course after that, I hadn't a clue what to do, but I realized that if I understood everything, descovery, and therefore life itself would mean nothing. Heh, I guess I did get a lot out of that..
Wait, what? Dark Tom? Is that a racial slur?





Post #950, by PSIOsman

(Okay, the story at this point is getting a bit stroppy... hehehe, that's Skye's word.
Steve Irwin's, actually. Poor Steve has been dead for going on five years now.
I believe Lavos is in Saturn Valley, and the only ones that can defeat him arethe chosen four, right? So that leaves us (the ACs) fighting the Randite Statues. Correct me if I'm wrong...)
If you say so, I guess. Except we still don't know what the f--- Randite Statues are or why the f--- we should care about them.
Siris studied the area around Lavos for a moment.

"Hmmm... it seems that there is some type of shield around Lavos. It looks to be impenetrable, but... wait! Look" Siris pointed at the wrecked eye of Lavos. The image of Ness appearedin it.
Well, that's definitely a job for Liyoshi, Master of Shields.
"It looks like the only ones who can destroy the thing is Ness, Paula, Jeff and Poo. But what do we do now?" Asked Osman.
He's trying to come up with an in-story justification for going along with Tengu Man's edict, but failing. Why does seeing something that looks vaguely like Ness on Lavos's shield definitely mean no one except Ness and people who personally know him can defeat him? That's stupid.
"Wait. If, like, Falcon summoned Lavos, and like, he's not here, wouldn't Lavos be, like, dead?" Asked Alan.

"You're right... Something else must be controlling him!"
Also stupid and nonsense. No explanation is offered as to why Lavos has to be under anyone's control at all.
On the cliffs surrounding Saturn Valley, a Randite opened its glowing red eyes looked down at the consumer of worlds that him and his brethren had summoned.
Randites have glowing red eyes now?
Between this and how happily he went along with Tengu Man's demands, I have to belatedly conclude PSIOsman must have been a Tenguling.
He saw the beings and read their intentions. The plan could not be disrupted. He would have to eliminate the threat. The statue pulled itself up to its full twelve-foot height. He jumped over the side of the cliffs as if it were a mere stone. The razor sharp claws on the ends of his grey fingers glowed with an unearthly light....
Yeah. Definitely a Tenguling. Tengu Man might have written that paragraph himself.
------------------
You may address me as His Majesty Emperor PSIOsman I.
He left his sig block on.

21 November 2011

Posts #936-940: 9-10 May 2000

Post #936, by t0nberry22

Ton woke up. He was lying next to Fire Springs. At the same time, Dark Ton woke up. Ton and Dark Ton looked at each other.
...
...
"Nooo! You escaped!"
"Yes! Now I'm free to wreck havoc!"
"No! You can't!"
"Yes I can! I'm a different person now! Smell ya later, Ton!"
t0nberry22 has now officially joined the growing ranks of posters in open violation of the one AC rule. Some flexibility was allowed with the defeating-evil-side-in-Magicant plot, but t0nberry is now outside of that.
DT suddenly created a dark portal and jumped in. "Nooo!" said Ton. "He got away! Hmmm... but I seem to have gotten some PSI since I entered Magicant." Ton started sending a Telepathic message. [Everyone! Be on the lookout for a Tonberry with a dark lantern! He's my evil side, and may try to get power from Lavos!]
Poor fool. Queen Zeal learned long ago that Lavos does not share power.




Post #937, by SirMontyG

~Meanwhile, back in Sir's Mind~

"Hey, I wonder if I can change the music in here.." Sir consintrated and the music in magicant changed back to an uptempo version of Take 5 "Great, I can really think when that song's going..okay, gonna need some armorment, what to use...a gundam? sayjin suit? Lazy shell? naw..let's just go with..this! Sir then was in a James Bondlike Tux, equiped with the watch, explosives, radar, and something rather un-bondish: a double barrled shotgun. "Wow, I've gotta go into my subconcious more often, this is grea.."
Contrary to what Major Asshole is happily indulging in, I don't think Magicant is in any way like a lucid dream. You don't get to control the world around you like you were The One.
*POW!!* *Chinkchi*

"Hey, Sir! remember Dark Link? Well, I go one better and get whatever you equip! Nya!" The tuxed madman ducked behind a corner.

Sir then realized where he was: The facility of Goldeneye.
License/Pistols in either the Facility or the Basement is the pinnacle of multiplayer gameplay. It has never been topped, and it will never be topped. Major Asshole has good taste.
"Heh, I'm such a geek. I could pick anywhere I could think of to battle and I pick a level of a video game, but only with real smooth texturing, stunning 3 dimensional realisum, so real.."*drooool*

*KaPOW*

"Oh, right, the evil.." Sir hid out in the upstairs bathroom, stocking up on ammo and prepairing an assult.

"Hmm, I could really use an RCP-90, but as soon as I'd get it, so would the evil guy, so I think I'd better stick with the shotgun...wait, what's that..oh NO!!"

Sir recognized the encantment, but seeming a little darker than normal. The encantment was heard coming from the ventilation shaft and Sir knew in an instant it was directed towards him. But the odd thing was, it wasn't his own voice saying it, but one that struck fear into the core of Sir's soul.

"Everyone's Grudge"
I know it's not really here or there, but "Everyone's Grudge" is the stupidest name for what's supposed to be a powerful attack I have ever heard. (The best, also seen in Final Fantasy VII, is "Doom of the Living".)
It was Dark Ton.

"WHAT THE.." *SMASH* the dark lantern threw Sir into the adjecent stall, knocking him down with major damage. With one more hit, Sir would never return to the spa.
Well, he should have saved.
"Bite lead!" Sir fired round after round at the odd creature, but showed no pain from the shots. "So it was you who I heard on the island! I knew there was a Tonberry here!!"

"Not quite, Sir. I'm Dark Ton, Tonberry's evil counterpart who escaped Ton's magicant."
I'm hoping to soon find a reason why Dark Ton explaining who he is to a guy who is, at that precise moment, trying to pump Dark Ton's guts full of lead.
"But what do you want with me?"

"Hey, I'm on an evil rampage. You were the first person I saw."
Excellent answer.
"But I'm in my mind!!"

"I'm an evil entity, I'm not bound to the physical plain like you.
What about physical hills, or physical tundra?
Well, there's plenty more destruction to do, so shall we?"

"KNIF.." *Klakakakakacat!* "Ouch, what the?" Dark Ton turned to see Evil Sir, equiped with a RCP-90, no less. Sir looked down, he held one too. Aperantly he could control wepons as well.
The problem with totally sweet weapons like the RCP-90 is that, the more effective a weapon gets, the less significant the distinction in skill level wielding it becomes. Hand-to-hand, an untrained person has no prayer against a blackbelt. But any random schmuck that happens to get his hands on a nuclear bomb can carry it into Central Park and vaporize five or six million people.
This is why License/Pistols is the purest form of Goldeneye.
"This is my fight, star-spinning-berry-thingy. So get out of here!" "KLAKAKAKAKAKAKAKA!!" Dark Ton took major damage! "Alright, I've had enough. There are easier targets on the horizon with bigger rewards.." And Dark Ton sprung out of the facility.

"But, why?" Sir stared in amazement

"Hey, I'm the evil part of YOU. Your evil side would rather do it himself." *Chichink* Evil Sir aimed his 90 at sir's forehead
Yet again, Dark Major Asshole makes a good point.
(tOnberry, if you don't want Dark Ton here, just give the word and I'll edit this message)
The message was never edited, so we must conclude t0nberry never objected.




Post #938, by Anthadd

Avoiding breathing nasally, Anthadd made his way towards the second Tenda Village, the horrible scent of Tendakraut essentially expelling any and all enemies from a five-foot radius.
Tendakraut didn't do that for Team Ness. Are you sure it's the Tendakraut producing an odor so bad dinosaurs won't approach?
Also, a five-foot radius would not prevent a Chomposaur from deep frying your ass with PSI Fire. Just saying.
Walking up to the cage, he discovered it open, and tossed the Tendakraut away.
A Tenda jumped out, grabbed it, got back in and closed the cage just before Anthadd got in.
"Joy. More unluck. As if I needed more."
"Sorry, you need Tendakraut to get in."
"But that was MY Tendakraut!"
"No, it's ours."
Anthadd, seeing the stubbornness, decided to sing a song -- horribly.
The Tendas let him in just to shut him up.
I think he wants us to interpret that to mean he's capable of singing well, but sang horribly on purpose to damage their ears. But a moderately talented singer trying to sing badly can never sing anywhere near as painfully badly as a bad singer. To wit:
[SLing] being banned by guru is like hearing one of my early songs
[Skulryk] it's painful, and it just never seems to end




Post #939, by t0nberry22

(Sir, that was good, even though Dark Ton is on the physical plane, I suppose he could do that. Nice one.)
Presumably he's happy someone noticed his post. Also he's now dancing on the gray area of the one AC rule. It's not an AC if everyone can control it (as long as, like any other NPC, any poster that wants to can change its alignment, kill it, etc.) But it IS an AC if people have to ask, as Major Asshole did, for permission to do such things.

In the end it is likely the Dark Ton gimmick won't last and no one will really care.




Post #940, by murkkie

(what town are we heading for?).
This is the third time, in five total posts, murkkie has asked other posters to tell him what's going on, to avoid doing the work of reading the thread himself. He absolutely should have been banned from the thread at this point. Especially since this does NOT predate private messaging.

18 November 2011

Posts #921-925: 8-9 May 2000

Post #921, by loid

(first things first, I was only joking, I wouldnt care if sir duct taped me to a refigrator)
I have no idea why he felt it necessary to mention this, seeing that no one called his last post into question. Maybe there was an argument in #earthbound or something.
meahnwhile the randite was eating away at kiyo's mind.
"Yes. Let the evil guide you."
I did it all for the evulz.
Kiyo, slowly becoming evil, started towards the hotel with an unkown purpose.

"*slurrrrrp* ah. Need more daquris, oh waiter! hey your not the waiter."
"yOu lEfT mE tO dIe..."
"Kiyo? Is that you? you look, diffe-AHHHHH!"
"no I cant do it. hes my frie-KiLl hIm-but he doesn-kIlL hIm-AHHHH! MY HEAD! becoming... more... more... eViL!"
"AHHHH! take this you manic!" sir threw a stone which hit kiyo on the head knocking him out cold, knocking him into magicant.
I'm not sure why loid is determined to follow Major Asshole around, other than it shows excellent taste in choosing teammates.




Post #922, by SirMontyG

"Hey, hotel security! This guy almost killed me! Where were you?" Sir questioned the athorities at hand
When someone does what in real life would seem like common sense in an IF, it's jarring. We would much more expect him to poke loid's corpse with a stick, clean out his pockets, then jump into his Magicant or something.
"Well we were on break.."

"ya, ya, but he almost made me spill my daquri, too.. Hey, wait..that really IS Kiyo! And he was mumbling something about me turning him evil, too! Hmm.." Sir wrapped a towel around his waist and walked over to the lobby and snagged a free newspaper showing the events already occured on the island.

"Ohh, crud. I kinda ignored his desperate cry and now he's gone evil on me. At least I didn't duck tape him to a refrigerator..
Amazingly, loid got 'duct tape' right and then Major Asshole, in direct reference to loid's above post, got it wrong.
Well, only one way to fix this." Sir walked back to the spa, downed the rest of his daquri, and hit himself over the head with the same rock he did for Kiyo, causing him to enter Kiyo's Magicant. (of course that makes sence, what are you talkin' bout?)
LOL, okay, THAT'S more like what you expect in an IF. I swear I didn't read the rest of the post before I wrote that first annotation.





Post #923, by Dr. Andonuts

(For those of you who don't visit #earthbound, you should know that Antadd is the Prime Minister of Retieration(you should also know that i can't spell retieration))
(Wow! Someone remembered me.)
I'm guessing he was trying for "reiteration". I honestly don't remember any of that clearly, though. It must have been something that happened during the four months I wasn't really in #earthbound due to a crappy computer that couldn't access the internet. And I have no foggy clue why Dr. Andonuts felt it necessary to mention that here.
Nathan decided to go find out what everybody was doing. He decided to go find Tim, figuring that he would know.
Well, it is a notch above the old standby "He suddenly had a feeling in his heart Tim was looking for him" on the OOC-knowledge-used-IC scale, at least.
He took out his computer, used it to locate Tim, and teleported to his location.
You think I'm going to bitch about this handwave, but I'm not. We'd have gotten four paragraphs if Liyoshi had been writing this.
Nathan appeared in mid-air, right above Tim's boat. WHAM! "I've got to fix that," Nathan mumbled to himself. "Hi, Tim, how are you doing?"
"Fine."
"So, whats been going on?"
"Well, there have been several attacks on Lavos, all failing, and lot of people have visited Magicant."

This is a disturbingly accurate Cliff's Notes on the entire last 500 posts.
"What do you want to do now?" Nathan asked Tim.





Post #924, by murkkie

(Mog said I could join him so well, I don't know were he is but he could help me)
One of the various things I do for food is work with students who want to improve their writings. One of the concepts I have found surprisingly challenging to get them to understand is, before you write anything (including individual sentences or paragraphs) you should ask yourself: will anyone reading this care about this?
So murkkie is just the latest in a long string of posters not asking themselves that question. Call it the Liyoshi Test.
Andrew (that would be my real name) walked into the auditorium. Seeing that no one was there he sat down to try to find out what happened. Aha! he finally figured it out. He ran over to were Mog was. Hey! Andrew said. Great said Mog, But how did you find me. Well it is very simple said Andrew, I just looked were no one would ever even think of looking.
This kid must have had the mother of all bongs in his room.




Post #925, by Traceh

It echoed again, the shuffeling then a *scratch....creeeeeek*. Tracy came to her senses and steadied herself against the coffin and stumbled to her feet. There she swayed, still listening for the noises which seemed to be comming from the room next door.

"guru....what the munky is that...", she nealt down and wispered so as not to be heard by the unknown presence. "Look at you, we need to get you out of here, you're in pain! Here you drink this water and it might help."
I continue to ignore Traceh's loidian count of spelling errors because if you look past them, her writing is quite good. But good golly are there a lot of spelling errors. 
On topic: Drinking water is always helpful to everything, but what about this water does she expect will cause super healing?
Tracy tried to adjust her eyes to see correctlty. "Ugh...this better not be a concusion.."
Bad news, Tracy. It's a concussion. Good rule of thumb: if you have to wonder whether you're concussed, you are. 
She reached into her bag and rummaged around for the bottle of water she had grabbed on her way out of the hotel, found what she thought to be it, and yanked it out.
"What she thought to be it"? That doesn't sound good for guruzeth's immediate prospects. 
How awesome would it be if she killed him by "accidentally" having him drink fingernail polish remover or something?
"Alright well this...this...we just need to get through here!" guruzeth took the bottle in one hand and swigged it back, immidiatly coughing and hacking at the contents.

"What did you give me? What IS this in here!?" he asked, peering first at Tracy and then at the bottle. "Oh no...tell me I didnt just swallow what I think I did..."
Nail polish remover! I totally called it. Don't worry pal, once you see the pink polka-dots the end of your suffering is very near. Say your goodbyes in the next ten seconds, before you lose control of your tongue. And most of your other muscles.
"Hmmmm?" mumbled Tracy, still a bit out of sorts. She tuned her head and a wave of disbelife came over her.
Well, since waves are involved I for one think it's entirely sensical that she would tune her head.
"guruzeth, you just ate my bug......that cant be good."
Aww, damn. Eating a bug isn't going to hurt anybody. It's just a protein source. But this being IF, of course, we expect this bug is going to grant guruzeth some kind of superpower. Apparently Tracy still likes him despite his being a whiny bitch.
She shook her head. "Hopefully it wont hurt you or anything. I dont know though, Ive never eaten a bug before so I couldnt sa-"

Tracy was cut short, her eyes widened to huge almonds and she started babbeling and stuttering, trying to force out words. guru tried to steady her with his free arm and thats when he noticed he was glowing a strange tint of blue....
I know, I know, I totally called it and you're totally impressed. Becoming a member of the Blue Men Group is only the beginning of guruzeth's new superpowers. Which now I'm actually hoping they include invincibility, so he'll quit detailing his injuries like this is some kind of damn NFL injury report.
[This message has been edited by pink goat named Sarah (edited 05-09-2000).]
This, once again, is Traceh's indication that she has gone back and fixed some typos.
[This message has been edited by Traceh (edited 05-09-2000).]

31 October 2011

Posts #826-830: 5 May 2000

Post #826, by guruzeth

- Part 2 grew to the point where it, like part 1, mysteriously vanished. Hopefully we can recover and archive it. Continue the story here, for now.
guruzeth was in the strange habit of leading every post he wrote (on the forums or the site's main page) with a hyphen. It made sense to him at the time, I guess.




Post #827, by  waffle

(Hmm, okay.)
I don't know what he's responding to. I've checked back through the last 20 posts or so and I can't figure it out.
Waffle and Luna walked into the Fire Spring sanctuary.
"Ok, you have your pieces of the sound stone, right?" waffle asked reaching into his pocket.
"reaching into his pocket" is a curiously long name. And curiously devoid of the capitalization we've come to expect from names.
Luna stuck her hand out where her shiny, glittering piece was sitting. "Right here."
"Ok then, I guess we should attach them together," Waffy said as he pulled out his piece.
They both put their pieces together and they somehow connected, forming one stone.
"Somehow" is a great word to use when what you mean is "I don't know how it works either, and anyway it's boring, so let's move on."
"Hmm..." waffle said looking at it, "Sure is interesting."
By which he means uninteresting.
"Yeah, lets get the melody now."

Luna took the stone and walked up to the largest area of lava there. They both heard the short song and the sound stone starting glowing once again. Not just glowing this time, but also starting to shake.
"Woah! Whats going on!?" Luna yelled staring at the stone.
Waffle stepped over and the sound stone dissapeared in Luna's hand. "Thats odd..." "Yeah, we didn't even get all the melodies..."

Just then, a portal seemed to appear in front of them.
"Whats this?"
Waffle stared at the portal. "Magicant?"
I'm scratching my head because I really can't understand why waffle wants to do what eight writers have already done. I get how everyone's afraid of being uncool and all, but at some point doesn't the shtick have to get tired?

Eh. Magicant is just too fun a concept for anyone to pass up. Traveling through my own mind, man! Usually you need some damn powerful hallucinogens to accomplish such a thing. And those aren't so easy to get when you're 14.




Post #828, by Gauntlet Wizard

(Oh no! Part 2 disappeared too?!
It got better.
I don't remember where I was... well, maybe... I remember were my group was, I suppose, unless PSIOsman or SaturnAl added something before I got to see it...)
[Recap for my group: Siris, Osman, and Alan had just received the melody for Magnet Hill after Osman defeated a big monstery thingy. We were deciding where to go next...]
"A big monstery thingy" is a fair description for what Osman defeated, I think.
"Where do we go next, Osman?" Siris asked. "You're the one with the Sound Stone thingy..."
Wow, Osman is actually being acknowledged by someone as the group leader. I think that may be the first example of yielding group leadership to someone else in the entire 828 posts. It doesn't happen often.





Post #829, by PSIOsman

(Right before part 1 got deleted, We got into the lost underworld and had gotten the Fire Springs melody. Now we go fight Lavos.)
I think he meant Part 2. Was he even around for Part 1? I think he was.




Post #830, by murkkie

(part 1 did not dissapear it is on page 2 of the forum.)
Glad the guy who's posted like twice is staying on top of what happened to Part 1. But maybe I shouldn't be so hard on him; it's possible he's actually reading Part 1, so as to know what's going on when he gets to posting on Part 3.

...you're right, that sounds pretty ridiculous now that I read it.

18 June 2011

Posts #786-790: 3 May 2000

Post #786, by Little Yoshi

Mani Mani used Magnet Beta!
Mani Mani used Magnet Beta!
Mani Mani used Magnet Beta!
Drained 38PP from Tim

Tim kept praying, and still couldn't think of what he was desperatley trying to remember
At least this one is short, thank the gods.




Post #787, by murkkie

(Okay. Ya see When this topic first started I didn't read it. I Notice that it is THE most succesful topic I've ever seen. I want to make a post but it will take me hours to read it. So, can some one sum it up for me?)
No. Now piss off.
Not that you asked, but my best estimate is that I've now put somewhere around 200 hours into reading and annotating this thing.





Post #788, by Tengu Maul

(PSI, I really hate to interupt the flow of the story, but I just wondered if you lifted the 1 AC only rule, since a lot of people are thinking of a second AC[not that I'm any better]. Please confirm the facts of the this rule when you can. Thanks)
Now that Mog116 is forging ahead with his second AC, Tengu is going to push the issue. Tengu knows full well PSI322 is going to say no. He's not about to let some pissant use multiple ACs if he can't.
This also seems like a fine place to note that PSI322 was very specific in Post #1 that only one AC per writer is permitted. It's likely SS/MB and Mog116 never read Post #1, but Tengu sure as hell did. He's just hoping PSI322 forgot about it.




Post #789, by Mog116

Summin' up: This was a vacation, until I/Darth found out about it being really the Eagleland.
You found out nothing. That was 100% Tengu's doing. Why the hell are you trying to claim credit for it?
Then We had a race to find the melodies. Lavos came and we need the melodies to defeat Lavos. That's about it. You can join my group, if you want.
No summary of the Gathering is anywhere near complete without an extensive discussion of Chris, Luna, and Major Asshole. And you probably need some PP/QC in there, too, and some 3164 and Falcon24.
Mog and Pika Reached Lilliput Steps. They had a very uneventful walk through the cave, then they reached the Mole. (I can't remember it's name)
(Because I never actually played EarthBound)
-Mog used PSI flame-
-231 damage to Mole-
-Mole used dig-
-Mole dug a hole-
-Pika is waiting-
-Mole used Dig-
-1432 damage to Pika-
-Mog used PSI Lifeup-
-Pika is restored-
-Pika used Blazing tackle-
-1753 damage to Mole-
-Mole called for help-
-Mole A Became Tame- (rolling HP)
-Mole B used PSI Magnet Alpha-
-Pika loses MP-
-Mog attacks-
-435 damage to MoleB-
-Pika used Blazing Tackle-
(Pika can use Special "PokeAttacks". They cost no Mp, and do high damage)
No EarthBound attack costs any MP either, since there is no such thing as MP in EarthBound, which Mog116 never played. Well, OK, he probably played it, but not more than once.
-1862 mortal damage to MoleB-
-MoleB fainted-

[That was kewl, too.] Mog's sound stone absorbed the power of Lilliput steps. Mog is four melodies away from ???
LOL, now that sentence is actually a pretty good summary of the Gathering since the party ended. Four melodies away from ???. Damn if I know why in the hell we're collecting melodies.
[Do you think you can teleport yet?] Pika asked. [No, but I think we will meet someone on the way]

(murkkie, you don't HAVE to come, but you can.)
Let's toss that one into the Double-Entendre File and speak no further of it.




Post #790, by PSI322

(Once again, I'm going to apologize for not moderating this as well as I should. This is the most difficult topic a moderator could ask for, and it's tough to read everything really closely, especially with limited time on your hands.)
You didn't think she was going to be rude about it, did you?
(The rule allowing only ONE AC per person still stands. Anyone with more than one AC best get rid of a character, somehow. Again, I know I should have caught this on my own, but this topic, in particular, is very tough to deal with.)
It's all my fault you're a bunch of flaming idiots who try to push the envelope!
She was good at getting things done by making people feel bad, though.
~PSI322, Moderator of Interactive Fiction
I have to say, though, she was very proud to be a moderator of the IF board. She loved that forum more than was probably healthy.

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