Falcon let out an ear-shattering laugh. "You fool! I'm not using the power of the Sanctuaries! i'm using the power of the Earth!!!" With that, Falcon raised a hand, and a large bolt of lightning came forth, soaring straight toward's Dr. Andonut's Sound Stone.
Okay: Two sentences plus a third for his scornful laughter.
Note how he doesn't go right on ahead and break said Sound Stone, but leaves the door open for Dr. A to handwave his attack away. Note also the brevity of this post, especially by Falcon24's standards; this is not a serious post. It's just an "I don't think so, kiddo."
Post #537, by Foppy King
Suddenly, the Foppy King teleported to Nathan. "Hi!"
"Hello,"
"I have what you need."
"You do?"
"Yes"
"May I have it?"
"On one condition."
"What?"
" PLEEAASSE let me join you!"
"Well..."
(Falcon's lightning flew towards the Sound stone)
"Watch out!" cried the Foppy King. He leaped into the air and took the lightning attack. 500 damage to the Foppy King...
Apparently talking really is a free action. He seems to have stopped time to have this brief conversation with Nathan between the time the lightning left Falcon24's hand and the time it arrived at Nathan's Sound Stone.[This message has been edited by Foppy King (edited 04-23-2000).]
Even though There Are No Girls on the Internet, you could easily have convinced me Foppy King was an emo girl, what with his desperation for attention and attempt to guilt trip Dr. A into showing attention for him. (See, I took a hit for your AC, so are you really so coldhearted as to leave me to die now? Huh?)
Post #538, by EBPoo
After landing the Skyrunner II on the Monotoli Building in Fourside, Poo set off to find Falcon. Now, where would I be if I was him? Poo asked himself. So Poo decided to go to the Magnet Hill Sanctuary location, only to find it in ruins. "My guess is...Falcon's been through here."
EBPoo is ignoring Tengu's edict that the Sanctuaries regenerate more or less instantly. Well, I say ignoring; most likely EBPoo never read Tengu's post in question, or any of Tengu's posts. They're kind of long.Looking to a corner, Poo saw a giant rat. Communicating with it psychically, Poo could understand it. [SQUEAK! That bird-like figure trashed this place with his...what was it called? Oh right, Sound Sapper. He said something about heading off to Dalaam.] "Thanks for your help, rat. Well, looks like I can't do anything here. So off to Dalaam I go." Boarding the Skyrunner II once again, Poo set its navigator to Dalaam, his homeland. "Hopefully Falc hasn't messed it up too much," Poo said to himself in fear.
Now there's a rare thing, a flying unicorn of IF if you will: an AC confronts a random monster--one that was actually a boss in EarthBound at that--and instead of vaporizing it, asks it for help. Which the monster, relieved beyond measure to not be getting launched into the Sun for once, is only too happy to give.
Post #539, by Godeg
Hours later, Mike recovered.
If he were Foppy King, this post would have come only after posting (COME ON! MY AC IS UNCONSCIOUS AND HELPLESS!!!! PLEASE SOMEONE COME AND HELP ME!!! I SWEAR I'LL LEAVE IF YOU DON'T!!11) Well, yeah, with more misspellings. But yeah."Oof... that hurt. I wonder what i should do now..." At that moment, Mike's communicator went off.
"Sir, Sir! Are you alright?!" It was the Denterion.
"Yeah, im fine. My walker is busted up though. That was pretty crazy. Beam me up. I need to get some stuff." Mike replied. Mike expected to be beamed up to the Denterion, but that didn't happen.
"Sir, it appears as if our ship-bound teleporters are not working. We can teleport you to anywhere on the planet though..." Ops blandly replied.
Of course they can. Thus my prophecy of the mech's loss having no real effect on Mike at all comes to pass. Believe in the truth of Baron von Awesome, IF Seer!"Carp!!! What else could go wrong?! Can't you send me down some supplies? Like food or a weapon?" Mike asked. In a flash of light, Mike noticed that a Pulse rifle and a peanut cheese bar were beamed down from the ship. "Sweet. Thanks guys. Now, hook me up with pink cloud again. I'm gonna go try to lay the smack down."
"Very well, sir. As you wish." the Denterion also added: " Remember, we're here for you if you need any support." Mike was teleported back to pink cloud.
Thus the invincible good guy goes off to do battle against the invincible bad guy. It's like playing multiplayer Goldeneye with Invincible turned on for all players. Try it sometime, and notice the total absence of tension. Notice also how quickly you get bored.*
That's really where IF as a concept fails: To make it work, to give the story real tension, you need a good writer to play the Big Bad who is willing, in the end, to lose. And then you also need several good writers to play Good Guys who are willing, long before the story ends, to die. That never happens, and that's why you get no tension.
Don't worry about the Gathering, though; there will be tension galore, soon. No, not in the form of any good-versus-evil fighting, of course. But there will be lots of obvious tension between the various writers. Not their AC's; the writers themselves. It's going to be fun!
* Invincible doesn't actually work in Goldeneye's multiplayer, but theoretically you could Gameshark it. Or just use your damn imagination.
Post #540, by SirMontyG
"A shield killer? Where'd you get that??" Sir questions in the heat of battle
"I had it!" A quite voice said. It was Foppy King.
Aww. It's too Foppy King already jumped in elsewhere. I have a feeling Major Asshole is about to teach him to be careful what he wishes for."There'l be time to tell you how cool you are later: Just use it!" Said Sir (He had locked on to the Starman's weak spot, his control panel on his chest, minutes ago, and was getting ainxious to use it. BTW, the lightweight bazooka dosen't have Site to air missles. That's just nutty.)
Major Asshole ridicules Foppy King for trying to act cool, and then spends the next three sentences trying to act cool. Smooth.Foppy King used the shield killer! The protective orb dissapated the second Sir fired. *WHHAAAMMMM!!* the Starman suffered a direct blow.
Also: It's Surface-to-Air, dumbass.
"A few more of those and this guy's scrap metal!" Sir quicly reloaded and prepared to fire again...
Yeah, I know. These tension-free battle scenes just drag on forever. This is because
(a) Teenage boys like violence, and
(b) They're not so keen on, or good at, advancing a plot in any kind of coherent matter. So this is mostly the stuff they do.
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