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31 May 2018

Posts #1151-1155: 25 May 2000

Post #1151, by guruzeth

"Forget it guys!" guruzeth said. "You can think about EarthBound all you like, but this isn't a bloody video game, and cracking someone's head isn't gonna get you anywhere except in a nize cozy jail cell of your own!"

"There's no other way to get him out!" cried Falcon. "We gotta do it!"

"Just wanna pick a fight..." guruzeth said lowly. "Forget it guys. Do what you like, but I'm not posting your bail after you get tossed in the slammer. I'll be down at the picnic table where we ate lunch, or else in a hotel somewhere if you need me. Don't waste your one phone call on me." He turned and walked out of the station.
Can you imagine being a Six Friends member (other than PSI322, who as we will see was fully on board with this, if vastly less aggressive about it) and reading this post, blinking a few times, and thinking, "what the f--- was that all about?" Especially since, you will recall, it was guruzeth who put diospadre in jail for assault in the first place. Like, what in the hell did he think the rest of the team was going to do? Hold a bake sale to raise money for bail and a lawyer? 
This is actually a pivotal post in the Gathering, because "guruzeth throws a temper tantrum and storms off every time anyone suggests anything resembling violence" is going to be a Theme for the rest of the thread (and--spoilers--he's not nearly done injuring his AC yet, either) and watching the rest of his team react to his antics is going to be delightful. If he were anyone but guruzeth they would have ignored him the same way, and for essentially the same reasons, everyone ignored Liyoshi. But since he's the Supreme Ruler of the forums, and since the other Supreme Ruler of the forums who is also the single most popular person at starmen.net at this time (PSI322) follows him around, so does everyone else.
I know what you're thinking: How in the world did such a pissy, foot-stomping child of a poster become so prominent? And the answer is: I have absolutely no idea.



Post #1152, by Dr. Andonuts

Nathan thought, "i wonder what Tim is doing? Oh yeah, i can contact him telepathicly." [Tim, are you there?] Nathan waited, and did not hear anything back from Tim. "Or maybe I can't contact him telepathicly."
I really have no idea what this is about. Liyoshi posted himself getting captured two posts ago, eight hours before this one (the school day intervened, during which only guruzeth, who was a week from graduation* and no longer doing anything at school, posted.) Why Dr. Andonuts is just poking Liyoshi here, I can't fathom.
* Feel free to re-read the above post #1151 and marvel at the fact that--you think I'm yanking your chain, but I am not--guruzeth was the oldest poster in the Gathering. He was 18, PSI322 was 17, most everyone else was 15 and down.



Post #1153, by PSI322

Juliana's gaze followed guruzeth as he stormed out of the police station. His words echoed in her mind, and in her heart, she knew that he was right, one hundred percent.
Being right isn't much help if you're so over-the-top, assholishly sanctimonious about it that most people would rather be wrong just to avoid being on the same side as you. 
Juliana looked timidly at her other friends and the police officers who were standing not too far away. She felt the sweat beginning to form on her palms and rubbed her hands together anxiously. Deep inside of her, she knew that this was not the real Juliana. The real Juliana, the shy, peaceful Juliana, would never even think of pulling a stunt like this. She could never bring herself to hurt someone, unless they had attacked her first, and even then, it was difficult for her; that was just her nature. She knew that there was no way she could engage in combat with the cops here.
Post 1151 demonstrated guruzeth's way of expressing disapproval of the behavior of his nominal allies. This is PSI322's way of doing the same. Though they are of one mind on the principle in question--namely, that AC violence in IF is dreadfully boring and they want nothing to do with it--it tells you everything you need to know about their respective personalities. 
I am pretty disappointed PSI322 didn't call guruzeth out at all for actually being the one to instigate this whole stupid police station plot, though.
Quietly, Juliana tiptoed towards the entrance, making sure that the others' backs were turned as she moved across the floor stealthily. Silent as anything, she opened the door and slipped out, completely unnoticed. She didn't care at the time that they would all wonder where she had gone; all Juliana knew was that she had to get away from there. She couldn't fight; she wouldn't fight for anything.
I wonder whether or not she was still thinking of the whole Stonehenge Base thing where other posters had her AC going all Conan the Barbarian on the sorry asses of several dozen Starmen.
Feeling relieved that she had made what she believed to be the right decision, Juliana walked away from the police station, wondering if she ought to try to find guruzeth or continue wandering on her own.
So this is PSI322 Gambit #7 on this thread, although this one has a new twist: it's not about escaping Chris this time, it's about following guruzeth. Why, in $DEITY's name why is the alpha female going so far out of his way to follow a guy who threw a public hissy fit over some insignificant thing that he himself instigated, you ask? 
Well, cut her some slack; teenagers make suboptimal decisions all the time. But it does cut somewhat back to some of the stuff I noted on Chris posts: that at least guruzeth isn't afraid to tell you exactly what he thinks and go off and do what he pleases, as opposed to Chris's maddening passivity and approval seeking.



Post #1154, by Chris
Speak of the devil! I can't wait to see how he reacts to PSI322's post. Will he follow her as he's done six times before? Or will he write her off for now because she has made clear that from here out she is going to follow guruzeth wherever he goes, and Chris must know how that will turn out for him?
Chris was continuing to mull over how to rescue dios. Falcon had spoken of fighting, but Chris wasn't sure if it would work here the same way it had worked in Earthbound.
This is pretty funny if you remember the combat Chris had previously engaged in back when he was dragging PSI322's AC all over the world while she remained silent for several hundred posts. To wit: it worked exactly the same way it worked in EarthBound, only much easier because he was an AC. But yeah, some random NPC cops are totally a major problem. 
I have a feeling Falcon24 isn't going to see this from quite the same angle.
Plus, none of them were in any condition to tackle a dozen unarmed police officers, much less if they were to use their weapons. On the other hand, the team didn't have any money, and they certaintly couldn't leave dios in the hands of the Eagleand justice system.
I actually think it would be pretty funny, and a subtly clever nose-thumbing at guruzeth to boot, if they did exactly that. Then diospadre could show up a few posts later with no explanation at all for how he got loose.
"Guys, we can't fight. We can't hope to win. We've gotta find a way to get some money. Any ideas?"

"We could sell lemondade." Falcon suggested.

"Right. 'Lemonade for sale to post bail on our friend.' Oooh, that rhymes!" Poo replied.
LOL. I swear I didn't read this before I cracked the bake sale joke up above. Maybe I subconsciously remembered this post from when I first read it, 18 years ago, but I doubt it. 
"Wait a second. Chris, don't you still have that bat you bought in Tenda Village a while back?" Tracy asked.

"Yeah." Chris said, starting to see where Tracy was going with this.

"So, we sell that, and Juliana's Frying Pan, and that oughta get us enough money to bail out dios!" Tracy finished.
Ohhhh, now that's clever.  
For maybe the first time in the Gathering, I am genuinely impressed with something Chris came up with. Selling all the weapons and gear to bail dios out is exactly what guruzeth could and should have come up with, if he didn't want to crack skulls. It would have annoyed the Violence Faction, pleased the Pacifist Faction, and it wouldn't have required him to behave like a five year old. 
Ascribing this stroke of genius to Traceh rather than himself is pretty generous, too.
"Good idea. Hey, Juli--" Chris broke off in midsentence when he didn't see Juliana in the waiting room. "Hey, where'd she go?"
The idea that Chris would fail to notice Juliana leaving the room shattered my suspension of disbelief into a million pieces.
"I didn't see her. She must have gone outside for some fresh air." Falcon said.

"I'll go check." said Poo. A moment later, he returned. "She's not outside."

"Well, I'm sure she'll show up soon. Probably went to town to get something to eat. Let's go see how much a merchant will pay for this bat." Chris said.

They told dios that they'd be back soon, and left to find a drugstore that might buy the bat.
And so Chris opts to stick with the rest of the SixFour Friends and, for the very first time in the Gathering's eleven hundred posts, not to follow PSI322 or even to angst out about her departure. A landmark! 
(As noted previously, Chris knows very well that his pursuit of PSI322 is now over and has failed. She's with guruzeth, both IC and OOC. He bungled it completely in numerous ways I have chronicled in probably excessive detail, but I admire him for trying. He gave it his best shot, and he's gracious in defeat.) 



Post #1155, by SuperSpeedy/Mankey Boy

[I understand, Pikachu,] said Mew. [My warp hole opens in random spots! And have you forgotten that my species can learn how to Transform?!]
[I know that!] shouted Pikachu.
Mew shook his head, and started changing. After less then a minute, he changed into Poryhedron.
"I can do whatever the original was programmed to do," said Mew, as Poryhedron.
Pikachu appauded. Then he went back to eating.
Mew transformed back, and said, [Hey! Don't hog the cheesy Saturn bar-shaped Delacacies!]
Pikachu looked confused.
[The Peanut Cheese Bars,] said Mew.
[Bone appiteit, or whatever,] said Pikachu.
After Mew ate one, he washed it down with a bottle of lemonade that he stole from Celedon Dept. Store's vending machine when he escaped from Team Rocket.
[Where'd you get that?] asked Pikachu.
[I stole it from one of Celedon Dept. Store's vending machine when I escaped from Team Rocket,] said Mew.
The Department of Redundancy Department approves of these last three lines.
[I store them in Pokéballs I stole from Team Rocket. I knew I'd need some food or drink, and storage for the food and drink, but I'm broke!]
Pikachu looked around like this: ; and asked, [Can I have some?]
[Sure!] said Mew. [Or you could have some Soda Pop, or some Fresh Water!]
[Just the Lemonade!] said Pikachu.
Mew took one bottle out and gave it to Pikachu, who chugged it down.
[Thanks!] said Pikachu.
[You're welcome!] said Mew.
Just then, a Tomato with eyes, which looked like this: ; hopped out. Suddenly, he turned into a cardboard cutout which looked like this: .

[This message has been edited by SuperSpeedy/ Mankey Boy (edited 05-26-2000).]
[This message has been edited by SuperSpeedy/ Mankey Boy (edited 05-26-2000).]
If you're just skipping the text and reading the annotations, you should cut that out and read the text. It's funnier than the annotations. But not this post. This time, you made the right decision. This is without question the most pointless post in the entire Gathering (thus far) that exceeded five lines. 
SS/MB edited this post at least twice a day after it was posted. God alone knows why.

19 May 2018

Posts #1146-1150: 24-25 May 2000

Post #1146, by SirMontyG

...Deep darkness monkey!
See, I like Major Asshole because he'll always go with the funny option when you give him a chance.
"KIIIKIKIIIKIKIKI!!" (why are you guys trying to hit me!)

"Oh, sorry about that, little dude." appologized Sir "We thought you were an enemy.."

"Ki.KI?"(Oh, it must be because of that Sun Dome I had cast on myself. It's a spell that grants the user great speed, hightened reflexes, and a kickin tan. See?)

"Quite a phenominal power. How did you come across this encantment?" inquired Anthadd

"Kikkkiiikiki" (you would be suprised on the kinds of people that wind up here. I even heard that one monkey learned to teleport!)

"Cool..so any chance we could get a hold of this power?"

"Kikikikikikikikikikiiiiiiiiikikikikikkkkikikikikki" (Sure. Just page me.) and the monkey gave the two his pager number, for just such an emergency...
I love pretty much everything in this post. A Make Yourself Cooler spell, known by a monkey who carries a pager. And there are even hints that Major Asshole played EarthBound, as previously discussed. That's why I like this guy. I hope he keeps providing comedic relief as the Gathering goes further and further into Serious Business.



Post #1147, by Anthadd

"Sir, why would a monkey carry a pager around with him?"
"I have no idea."
waterproof pager, at that. And probably also shock proof, with the Zap Eels around. These are some space age monkeys we're talking about here.
Anthadd pocketed the number, thinking it would be smart to save for future usage, yet flabbergasted as to a monkey being in possession of a pager.
"Let's just hope we can reach the settlement soon, Sir." They continued on their way.
You can tell Anthadd doesn't quite know what to make of Major Asshole, but any company is preferable to no company so he's trying to hang in there.  
The last three posts (Anthadd-Major Asshole-Anthadd) took place over the course of about 40 minutes.



Post #1148, by Chris

After a few moments of stunned silence as dios was led away by the police, Chris spoke up.

"Come on, everyone, we've got go see what we can do to help."

"But what can we do? We don't have any money." guruzeth replied.
You're a bunch of ACs--the ACs who sit atop the Syndicate, no less--and we're really supposed to believe your hands are tied because you don't have money? Yeah, sure, pal. We just believe the hell out of that.
The group was then puzzled again, trying to decide what they could do for their friend. Then, Falcon spoke up.

"Wait a sec. Everyone remembers the first part of Earthbound, right? After Giant Step, Ness gets in trouble and goes to the police station, but gets out because he beats the officers in a fight. What if we do the same thing?"
Points to Chris for identifying Falcon24 as the most appropriate person to raise the option of solving the problem with brute force and violence. IRL guruzeth would do the same, but in-story he's a fanatical pacifist, so even Chris could tell that wasn't an option.
"One problem. We can't fight. We don't have the strength or experience." Tracy replied.

"Well, I've got my PSI, but it didn't work last time." Juliana added.
The periods at the end of quotations that should be commas are really tilting me here.
"Look, let's go down to the police station and see what we'll do from there." EBPoo said, and started for the door. The rest of the group followed, and they soon found themselves outside the police station.
You'll notice how Chris made space in this post for exactly one spoken line by each of the SixFive Friends. This is a pretty reasonable post. Not much happens, but it does move the plot forward ever so much, and he worked everyone in his unusually large group into it.


Post #1149, by diospadre

dios was led through the small Onett police station. As he passed one of the cells he heard somebody say someting about a phish, to which he responded with a scowl. The offending inmate quickly retreated beneath his bed. The officer tossed dios into the cell.
I have no idea what the phish thing is about. Presumably a long lost in-joke.
"man, I've gotta calm down. I can get the car fixed, and its not the attendant's fault he's a crazy nut. I think from now on I'll be a bit more easygoing." Just then, dios heard the voice of an officer.
This is diospadre's way of raising a middle finger to guruzeth. It's very, very mild compared to the way most of the IF veterans would respond to far less meddling with their AC than guruzeth perpetrated. But bear in mind diospadre had never posted on the IF forum before the Gathering, and never would again after it.
"Hey padre! You've got visitors." dios was led to the visiting room. He saw Falcon on the other side of the glass. "Hey dios, how are ya doing?"
A random cop wouldn't know better, but no one who knew diospadre would ever call him 'padre'. It was always 'dios'. Nice flavor there.
"Not bad, I guess. I've only been in there for 19 seconds and I'm already bored out of your mind. Are you guys gonna get me out of here?" dios queried.

"Why don't you just post bail?"

"Well, I can't and I'd tell you why but I'm too lazy to make up a reason." he replied.
I love diospadre's blase and genuinely funny way of expressing how stupid he thinks this whole thing is. He really knew how to work the passive aggression.
"Ok thats cool. Anyway, we're all gonna fight the police officers or something like that to get you out, like in EarthBound. Kinda strange though, seeing as our group is pro-pacifism." Falcon explained.
LOL, he just keeps it coming. What I really like here is diospadre has actually taken the trouble to read the posts of everyone in his group, and is gleefully pointing out the things that make no sense (such as Chris's last post and the fact, which diospadre instantly realizes, that guruzeth is not going to like it).
"Yeah, everybody except you, Mr. 'I just came back to life'," dios joked.

"Heh, yes I do like to fight a bit. Well anyway i gotta go to prepare," Falcon put his fist up to the glass.

"Theres no time for window love!" dios chuckled. "I've almost done half a minute in here! I don't know how much longer I can hold out!"

"Haha, ok. Good luck in there. and don't have an 'accident'." Falcon said with a smirk as he left.

The guard led dios back to his cell, where he was left to his thoughts. "Well, I hope they can help me. I don't really know their abilities, though. Better prepare just in case. I haven't used this since I lost my memory, I hope it still works." dios concentrated, and slowly a wavering blue beam of light extended from his forearm. He grinned as he retracted it once again.
It never hurts to remind everyone "hey, I'm an AC you know, so get this ship moving or I'm going to do my AC thing on my own." Which highlights what's so very wrong and assholish with what guruzeth did: it's not cool to sequester someone else's AC away from the action. diospadre is being very, very patient and good humored about it, by IF standards. 
Plus: what the hell, guruzeth? Of all the writers you could have stuck in a cell where they can't do anything interesting, you chose diospadre? Really? 


Post #1150, by Little Yoshi
I speculated at the end of Liyoshi's unusually brief last post that Chris may have kicked him off the computer. That post went up at 5:17 PM, then Chris posted at 7:33. So most likely they were interrupted by the call to dinner. This post went up the morning of 25 May, at 6:43 AM. It's short by his standards too, presumably because he had to go to school.
Evil Mani Mani was doing better then Tim this time. "Why?" Tim thought to himself, but decided it was because there were no rules here..."wait, no rules?! That means others can hlep us too? But I can't call others...but HE CAN!"

Tim hadn't realized what was happening, and looked around himself. 6 Randites had gotten him into a pincer battle. Tim, not knowing these thing's power, kept his attention on Evil Mani Mani.

Finally, after taking dozens of heavt blows from behind, Tim lept to his left, and had them all facing his face, or so he thought. 3 more Randites had appeared behind Tim. They attacked, knocking Tim over. 2 more Randites apeared. 11 Randites and 1 Evil Mani Mani vs. 1 Tim was not the fairest match you can imagine. Tim leapt to his feet, and Cycloned all of them. Each one of them asorbed the energy and shot it back at Tim for double.Tim used Lifeup Gamma, and 4 more Randites joined the battle.

Finally, Evil Mani Mani struck the deciding blow, diamondizing Tim. Three Randites picked up Tim's unconsious body, and took it to a Ranidte prison, located Northeast of Toto.
Holy s---, something actually happened in a Liyoshi post!  
By now, no one who's been in the Gathering for any length of time is going to attempt to rescue Tim, because they know exactly what's coming if they make the mistake of going anywhere near a Liyoshi plotline. Unless someone new and naive jumps in, I give Liyoshi about a day's worth of waiting before he gives up and returns to his usual self-pleasuring.

18 May 2018

Posts #1141-1145: 24 May 2000

Just when you were sure the Annotated Gathering was dead, the Annotated Gathering is back!
It's been three years since the last update, and six years since the last time I regularly updated the Annotated Gathering. So based on that, I can make no promises as to how long I'm going to last this time. But I swore many years back that I would finish this thing if it kills me, and I'm back at it. I wouldn't feel right leaving you hanging now, because--I swear--the absolute most screaming hilarious material in the Gathering is still ahead of us. So I invite you to take a few minutes, as I have, and go back over the last hundred posts or so, to refresh your memory as to where we're picking up.  

Done? Great. Let's get back to work.

Post #1141, by Dr. Andonuts

"Huh? What? Kill lavos spwan? ok." said Nathan after Pikachu disappeared. Nathan reached into his pockets for another Gaia Beam (he left his w/ Jeff) but instead of that, his hand pulled out a small, barrel-shapped object. "Whats this?" he wondered aloud. "And why does it have all over it?"
Who to the what now? 

I wonder if this kid was on some kind of powerful drugs when he wrote this stuff, or if he was just so excited he couldn't rightly control his fingers.
Suddenly it hit him. It was a nuclear hand genade. "I think i had better leave this for another IF," he thought. He put it back in his pocket.
OK, dude. I have no idea what that was about. Probably something going on in another thread at the time, which has long since been buried in the dust of history.
Then he reached into his pocket and this time he pulled out his Gaia Beam. He shoot the lavos sprawn with it and let its counter-attack hit his shield. He hit it again and managed to kill it with a SMASHHHHHH! attack. "Whew! Hope I don't have to fight any more of those."
So, what, he decided to just pistol-whip the Lavos Spawn with his gun instead of shooting it again?
(In case you are wondering, a Nuclear Hand Genade is an item in one of the RPG-like games I play. Its describtion is "Kills the enemy. Period. Usually.")
OK, you got me there: I admit I was wondering. A quick google search turns up nothing relevant, so if in fact he got that from some "RPG-like game," it was nothing even slightly important or memorable. 

[This message has been edited by Dr. Andonuts (edited 05-24-2000).]




Post #1142, by Little Yoshi

"I recall you sending your anti-diamondize pendant back to Mog, and in that case..." Evil Mani Mani said.
A look of horror came over Tim's face as Evil Mani Mani put Diamondize on his sword.
"Uh-er-um," Tim stuttered. The Dark Saber struck the Masamune. Tim leapt backwards and cast Freeze Omicrone, Special Yoshi Level. The Psychic super shield multiplied the damage by 2, and sent it back at Tim! Tim recovered 1257 HP!

The Dark Sabre was swung at Tim again, but Tim missed the block. Tim was somehow not diamondized, but this was because of extreme luck. Missing the block left Tim wide open for an attack, which he did.It did minor damage.
Mercifully, that's the entire post this time. For some reason--Chris kicking him off the computer, perhaps--he must have been cut short mid-post and decided to go ahead and toss up what he'd written so far. 
I know it's been years now since I last regularly annotated, but I did just re-read the whole Gathering and so I remain just as pissed off at Liyoshi as I was back when I was in my twenties, and will generally not be bothering to annotate his masturbation sessions going forward. If any of you out there in readerland are disappointed by this, let me know. I'm not holding my breath.




Post #1143, by SirMontyG

Sir pulled out a hall of fame bat he picked up from Tenda Village. "Let's finish this thing off and see if we can't meet up with Chris and the gang." Sir ran and swung, but wiffed. "Gua! Where'd it go?"
I have to give Major Asshole credit for knowing that the Hall of Fame bat is obtained in Tenda Village. It's easily missed and requires actually playing EarthBound all the way through and paying attention, which is a tall ask for this crowd.
"Ah, there it is." Andthadd pointed to a corner of the shrubs, where the same electric glow was eminating. "I've got it!" Anthadd pulled out his golf club and charged the glowing mass. Unfoutunatly, the results were the same, Anthadd also missed.

"Hmm, I wonder what this thing is?" As Sir saw the glowing orb spin off into another corner..
I'm really confused. What are they fighting? 
...oh, right. I double checked: they're in Deep Darkness now and fighting a Zap Eel. And Major Asshole is actually lampshading something I pointed out in the annotation I wrote on that post, which was only hours before this one in real time but was annotated five years ago: it's really silly imagining anyone can hit an eel that's swimming underwater with a baseball bat. So even more points to him, even if I'm sorely disappointed he's wasting his formidable talents on doing what everyone else in this thread except team guruzeth has already been doing for 800 damn posts now: pointless battling.



Post #1144, by Pikachu3164
I had been hoping that, three years of technological process later, there would now be an easy way to tell Wordpress to stop automatically interpreting anything within less-than-greater-than symbols as HTML. But my hopes came to naught but ash.
Pikachu decided to go upstairs while Dr. Andonuts worked on the Lavos Spawn repellant.

There, he saw something that surprised him. "BOiNG. iT SMaLL RaT. HeLLo."

[Whoa! It's a Mr. Saturn! The entire Mr. Saturn tribe, as a matter of a fact! Ooh! Peanut Cheese Bars!]
I find it interesting that he had the Mr. Saturn refer to him as "rat" instead of "mouse." "Rat" is a pejorative pokemon haters such as myself direct at all things Pikachu, who as per game lore is technically a mouse. Not that long ago, 3164 had Plague Rat of Doom refer to him as "mouse," which I noted at the time made sense because a rat wouldn't use "rat" as a pejorative. But the Mr. Saturn, who are super intelligent and presumably have no reason to hate pokemon, use "rat." I dunno, man.
"WHeN BiG SPiKy THiNGy FaLL FRoM SKy, aLL MR. SaTuRN CoMe To DoCToR aT WiNTERS. WaNT PeaNuT CHeeSe BaRS?"

[YES!!!]

Pikachu started to devour the homemade Peanut Cheese Bars, when Mew came in. Then, it occured to him that it was Mew's fault that Poryhedron was basically dead.

Pikachu started screaming at Mew. [YOU! IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT THAT ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS IS DEAD!]

Mew was shocked at this sudden outburst of anger. [Whoa! Calm down! Why would it be my fault?]

[YOU PUSHED HIM RIGHT INTO MAGNET HILL! Now excuse me while I try and revive him!]

Pikachu ran up to the computer Mew had thrown Poryhedron in and tried to de-magnitize him.
I dunno, I guess the pokemon kiddies are just amusing themselves doing pokemon stuff. At the time I'm sure I was annoyed about that, but looking back, I say good for them for doing something more interesting (to them, anyway) than the Great Lavos Stupidity.
A few minutes later, Pikachu stopped and walked back up to Mew. [Sorry. I'm just under so much stress I feel like I'm going to explode. I came for a vacation, and now I'm fighting a bunch of porcupines. It's just too much for me.]
Right! That's what I just said! 
Now it makes slightly more sense: he's using the Mew thing as a vehicle to bitch to the world in general that he's tired of the Great Lavos Stupidity. Hopefully young SS/MB picks up on this also and doesn't think 3164 is mad at him.



Post #1145, by Anthadd

"Which EarthBound enemies are ball-shaped, and electrically-tuned? All I can think of is the Thunder Mite, but that's Pink Cloud."
"Trying to identify the enemy? Not sure it's the Zap Eel?" Sir asked.
Anthadd is taking the opportunity to point out that Major Asshole's description of the enemy--which Anthadd specified to be a Zap Eel--as a "glowing orb" doesn't make sense. He's doing it in a more engaging way than usual, though.
"Yes, but I now think it could be some kind of optical illusion."
"Why?"
"I say this in that possibly the sun is, somehow, extending light to create the illusionary suggestion of electricity."
"In English, please."
"The sun may be shining on that enemy such that it only resembles an electrically-tuned creature."
I know that, 18 years later, Anthadd comes off as an insufferable show-off with his gratuitously stuffy writing. But at the time we all found it endearing, somehow.
"Oh."
Anthadd took out another golf club, and using the clubs like chopsticks, lifted the enemy out. It was a...
LOL, using golf clubs like chopsticks? I mean, even aside from the inherent silliness of that image, if your enemy is kind enough to sit still enough that you can manipulate it so, perhaps you should just use the one golf club to, y'know, kill it? 
I like how Anthadd leaves it up to Major Asshole to decide what it is. (The risk is that some rando will jump in and say 'It's a Lavos Spawn!!!' but most likely nobody besides Major Asshole is reading this, so it's probably not a problem.)

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