Just when you were sure the Annotated Gathering was dead, the Annotated Gathering is back!
It's been three years since the last update, and six years since the last time I regularly updated the Annotated Gathering. So based on that, I can make no promises as to how long I'm going to last this time. But I swore many years back that I would finish this thing if it kills me, and I'm back at it. I wouldn't feel right leaving you hanging now, because--I swear--the absolute most screaming hilarious material in the Gathering is still ahead of us. So I invite you to take a few minutes, as I have, and go back over the last hundred posts or so, to refresh your memory as to where we're picking up.
Done? Great. Let's get back to work.
Post #1141, by Dr. Andonuts
"Huh? What? Kill lavos spwan? ok." said Nathan after Pikachu disappeared. Nathan reached into his pockets for another Gaia Beam (he left his w/ Jeff) but instead of that, his hand pulled out a small, barrel-shapped object. "Whats this?" he wondered aloud. "And why does it have all over it?"
Who to the what now?
Suddenly it hit him. It was a nuclear hand genade. "I think i had better leave this for another IF," he thought. He put it back in his pocket.
I wonder if this kid was on some kind of powerful drugs when he wrote this stuff, or if he was just so excited he couldn't rightly control his fingers.
OK, dude. I have no idea what that was about. Probably something going on in another thread at the time, which has long since been buried in the dust of history.Then he reached into his pocket and this time he pulled out his Gaia Beam. He shoot the lavos sprawn with it and let its counter-attack hit his shield. He hit it again and managed to kill it with a SMASHHHHHH! attack. "Whew! Hope I don't have to fight any more of those."
So, what, he decided to just pistol-whip the Lavos Spawn with his gun instead of shooting it again?(In case you are wondering, a Nuclear Hand Genade is an item in one of the RPG-like games I play. Its describtion is "Kills the enemy. Period. Usually.")
OK, you got me there: I admit I was wondering. A quick google search turns up nothing relevant, so if in fact he got that from some "RPG-like game," it was nothing even slightly important or memorable.
[This message has been edited by Dr. Andonuts (edited 05-24-2000).]
Post #1142, by Little Yoshi
"I recall you sending your anti-diamondize pendant back to Mog, and in that case..." Evil Mani Mani said.
A look of horror came over Tim's face as Evil Mani Mani put Diamondize on his sword.
"Uh-er-um," Tim stuttered. The Dark Saber struck the Masamune. Tim leapt backwards and cast Freeze Omicrone, Special Yoshi Level. The Psychic super shield multiplied the damage by 2, and sent it back at Tim! Tim recovered 1257 HP!
The Dark Sabre was swung at Tim again, but Tim missed the block. Tim was somehow not diamondized, but this was because of extreme luck. Missing the block left Tim wide open for an attack, which he did.It did minor damage.
Mercifully, that's the entire post this time. For some reason--Chris kicking him off the computer, perhaps--he must have been cut short mid-post and decided to go ahead and toss up what he'd written so far.
I know it's been years now since I last regularly annotated, but I did just re-read the whole Gathering and so I remain just as pissed off at Liyoshi as I was back when I was in my twenties, and will generally not be bothering to annotate his masturbation sessions going forward. If any of you out there in readerland are disappointed by this, let me know. I'm not holding my breath.
Post #1143, by SirMontyG
Sir pulled out a hall of fame bat he picked up from Tenda Village. "Let's finish this thing off and see if we can't meet up with Chris and the gang." Sir ran and swung, but wiffed. "Gua! Where'd it go?"
I have to give Major Asshole credit for knowing that the Hall of Fame bat is obtained in Tenda Village. It's easily missed and requires actually playing EarthBound all the way through and paying attention, which is a tall ask for this crowd."Ah, there it is." Andthadd pointed to a corner of the shrubs, where the same electric glow was eminating. "I've got it!" Anthadd pulled out his golf club and charged the glowing mass. Unfoutunatly, the results were the same, Anthadd also missed.
"Hmm, I wonder what this thing is?" As Sir saw the glowing orb spin off into another corner..
I'm really confused. What are they fighting?
...oh, right. I double checked: they're in Deep Darkness now and fighting a Zap Eel. And Major Asshole is actually lampshading something I pointed out in the annotation I wrote on that post, which was only hours before this one in real time but was annotated five years ago: it's really silly imagining anyone can hit an eel that's swimming underwater with a baseball bat. So even more points to him, even if I'm sorely disappointed he's wasting his formidable talents on doing what everyone else in this thread except team guruzeth has already been doing for 800 damn posts now: pointless battling.
Post #1144, by Pikachu3164
I had been hoping that, three years of technological process later, there would now be an easy way to tell Wordpress to stop automatically interpreting anything within less-than-greater-than symbols as HTML. But my hopes came to naught but ash.Pikachu decided to go upstairs while Dr. Andonuts worked on the Lavos Spawn repellant.
There, he saw something that surprised him. "BOiNG. iT SMaLL RaT. HeLLo."
[Whoa! It's a Mr. Saturn! The entire Mr. Saturn tribe, as a matter of a fact! Ooh! Peanut Cheese Bars!]
I find it interesting that he had the Mr. Saturn refer to him as "rat" instead of "mouse." "Rat" is a pejorative pokemon haters such as myself direct at all things Pikachu, who as per game lore is technically a mouse. Not that long ago, 3164 had Plague Rat of Doom refer to him as "mouse," which I noted at the time made sense because a rat wouldn't use "rat" as a pejorative. But the Mr. Saturn, who are super intelligent and presumably have no reason to hate pokemon, use "rat." I dunno, man."WHeN BiG SPiKy THiNGy FaLL FRoM SKy, aLL MR. SaTuRN CoMe To DoCToR aT WiNTERS. WaNT PeaNuT CHeeSe BaRS?"
[YES!!!]
Pikachu started to devour the homemade Peanut Cheese Bars, when Mew came in. Then, it occured to him that it was Mew's fault that Poryhedron was basically dead.
Pikachu started screaming at Mew. [YOU! IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT THAT ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS IS DEAD!]
Mew was shocked at this sudden outburst of anger. [Whoa! Calm down! Why would it be my fault?]
[YOU PUSHED HIM RIGHT INTO MAGNET HILL! Now excuse me while I try and revive him!]
Pikachu ran up to the computer Mew had thrown Poryhedron in and tried to de-magnitize him.
I dunno, I guess the pokemon kiddies are just amusing themselves doing pokemon stuff. At the time I'm sure I was annoyed about that, but looking back, I say good for them for doing something more interesting (to them, anyway) than the Great Lavos Stupidity.A few minutes later, Pikachu stopped and walked back up to Mew. [Sorry. I'm just under so much stress I feel like I'm going to explode. I came for a vacation, and now I'm fighting a bunch of porcupines. It's just too much for me.]
Right! That's what I just said!
Now it makes slightly more sense: he's using the Mew thing as a vehicle to bitch to the world in general that he's tired of the Great Lavos Stupidity. Hopefully young SS/MB picks up on this also and doesn't think 3164 is mad at him.
Post #1145, by Anthadd
"Which EarthBound enemies are ball-shaped, and electrically-tuned? All I can think of is the Thunder Mite, but that's Pink Cloud."
"Trying to identify the enemy? Not sure it's the Zap Eel?" Sir asked.
Anthadd is taking the opportunity to point out that Major Asshole's description of the enemy--which Anthadd specified to be a Zap Eel--as a "glowing orb" doesn't make sense. He's doing it in a more engaging way than usual, though."Yes, but I now think it could be some kind of optical illusion."
"Why?"
"I say this in that possibly the sun is, somehow, extending light to create the illusionary suggestion of electricity."
"In English, please."
"The sun may be shining on that enemy such that it only resembles an electrically-tuned creature."
I know that, 18 years later, Anthadd comes off as an insufferable show-off with his gratuitously stuffy writing. But at the time we all found it endearing, somehow."Oh."
Anthadd took out another golf club, and using the clubs like chopsticks, lifted the enemy out. It was a...
LOL, using golf clubs like chopsticks? I mean, even aside from the inherent silliness of that image, if your enemy is kind enough to sit still enough that you can manipulate it so, perhaps you should just use the one golf club to, y'know, kill it?
I like how Anthadd leaves it up to Major Asshole to decide what it is. (The risk is that some rando will jump in and say 'It's a Lavos Spawn!!!' but most likely nobody besides Major Asshole is reading this, so it's probably not a problem.)
No comments:
Post a Comment