Posts #696-700: 28 April 2000

Post #696, by SuperSpeedy/Mankey Boy
 
(Sorry, I didn't understand the part when you became good.)

I have no earthly idea what this refers to. I can only assume...

Luckily, after reilizing Falcon was good, Poryhedron took out OS's Lazer Saber, set it to "Hot Lazer Torch", and slashed the iceblock that contain Falcon.

Yes indeed! It means there's an upcoming Pissed Off Falcon24 Rant in reference to SS/MB's last post, which frightened the poor boy into adding this stuff in an edit. Sadly, Falcon24 probably subsequently took down the Pissed Off Rant, so we'll never get to see it.

1 hp damage to Falcon!
Falcon was no longer Frozen Solid!
Falcon slapped Poryhedron for freezing him, which caused Poryhedron's head to spin.
"Don't you dare do that while I'm helping the good guys, foo!" said Falcon, imitating Mr. T. "They could've died!"
"Sorry," said Poryhedron.

Man, apparently Falcon24 made this kid piss his pants. You'd think after a couple of these incidents the rest of the kids would take a hint and leave him the hell alone.

[This message has been edited by SuperSpeedy/ Mankey Boy (edited 04-28-2000).]

Post #697, by Gauntlet Wizard

(Remember, Al and Osman, I was in Falcon's mind with you.)

Ah. Now I get it. PSIOsman edited his post after Gauntlet Wizard posted this one, and tossed Siris in there with an offhand comment. 

(Also, I'm a bit confused after reading SuperSpeedy's posts just now.)

Well, you're not supposed to take SS/MB's posts seriously.

Siris was hunched over Osman, using his magic to speed-heal his broken leg.

Boooooo-ring.

"Sorry I wasn't much help in battle," Siris said. "For some reason I was frozen with fear. It won't happen next time (will it?)."

I feel like those last two words are kind of a "don't you dare ignore me next time, you assholes" to PSIOsman and company.

A puddle of black liquid boiled near them, the remains of the hard-fought battle. It evaporated quickly, and in a matter of seconds it disappeared into a black cloud, which rose to reveal a shining light in the distace.

Sure, I guess. We can work with a shining light in the distance. This would actually be an example of the right way to end an IF post.

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Post #698, by PSIOsman

(ummm... SuperSpeedy? Alan and Osman are in Falcon's mind along with himself and Siris...)

Obviously SS/MB had not troubled himself to read anything at all before jumping in there, which predictably left everyone in the plotline he jumped into irritated.

[This message has been edited by PSIOsman (edited 04-28-2000).]

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Post #699, by Falcon24

"It's dead...?" Falcon suddenly came to a realization.

Yep. Damn. He took down the Pissed Off Rant. 

"It's gone!! I'm free! But...I'm--we're still stuck in my mind..." It was then that he noticed a glimmer of light in the distance. "Come on, this is the way out. I have a feeling." Falcon ran towards the light.

Let's hope something more interesting than "and then we all woke up" happens next. I'm thinking this is a perfect time for more aliens. Or NessJeff showing up.

After what seemed like a length of many miles, he was there. He stood before the glowing shaft of light. "Dare I enter it...? Ehh...why not?" He stepped into the light. He felt an incredible power surge through him, and then everything was engulfed by a bright shockwave.

If you pay close attention you'll notice how often Falcon24 refers to incredible power surging through him. No one is exempt from IF as wish fulfillment. 

When he came to, he found himself lying on the floor of the Giygan spaceship. Everyone had been transferred from his mind back to their original bodies.

"I'm free..."

Damn again. It was exactly the predictable thing. I feel so empty inside; that was the most boring Falcon24 post ever.

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Post #700, by PSI322

Holy crap guys, a PSI322 post! She lives!

PSI322 has made--wait for it--one post in the last 200-plus. It would seem she grew distressed and/or bored with the Gathering and went away from it for a while, but it keeps steaming forward and like everyone else, she's been drawn back in.

Juliana had decided against a trek through the Pond Cave. It had never seemed very exciting to her, although, admittedly, she did love Rainy Circle dearly.

One would think that, presented with a chance to visit in reality one's favorite Sanctuary from one's favorite video game, one would instantly jump at such an opportunity. But one would be wrong. 

No, instead, the adventurous girl scaled the cliff above the Pond Cave and began to walk into the unexplored territory in the depths of the southern continent of Winters.

Without supplies? Without a map? In uncharted territory of unknown size where the ambient temperature is about -10? It's like, disappointed the swamp didn't kill her, Juliana raised the ante.

Feeling a little thirsty not long into the hike, Juliana reached back into her knapsack and pulled out a bottle of water.

You're surrounded by snow; water isn't that much of a problem. Food, on the other hand, is. Not to mention, you know, not freezing to death.

She took a few steps and returned it to the knapsack before venturing on, wondering what she would encounter in the days to come... 

Hahaha. I'll give you three guesses what you'll encounter within the next 20 posts, PSI, and the first two don't count.

Posts #691-695: 27-28 April 2000

Post #691, by waffle

"Okaaaay..." waffle said backing away from Trillionage Sprout, "We're gonna have to each fight one. Equip yourself with anything you've got and be careful!"

Well played in the Be A Manly Man department. waffle is appointing himself field general and taking the Boss Baddie for himself, protecting Luna.

Waffle tossed a Peanut Cheese Bar to Luna. "You're gonna need to heal before you do anything."

That will actually heal less than half of her missing HP. But it's a good call, using a snack Luna has referenced several times in the Gathering instead of just casting Lifeup Super-Gamma-Omega. It shows he's been paying attention.

"Thanks!" said Luna barely catching it from Billionage Sprout's reach.
"Mog, you okay?"
"Yepperoo." he replied getting in a fighting position in front of Millionage Sprout.

Note how he's also correctly assigning Mog116 to the wimpiest of the baddies, implying Mog116 is a girly man and also implying he (waffle) understands Luna is plenty cool and badass, so she can handle the medium threat. waffle is keeping to the Impressing Girls book. It's so old because it works!

Trillionage Sprout charged toward waffle, but he flipped away and quickly searched around in his pocket.
"Now what do I have here..." He grabbed the first thing he felt, which happened to be a cotton swab and pulled it out. "Ohh..How convienant!" Waffle dashed around Trillionage Sprout a few times until it got dizzy.

A... Q-Tip. I don't even know what inside joke he's referencing. I wasn't in on it, whatever it was. But at least it's offbeat and semi-interesting! It's everything a Liyoshi battle is not. For that, I commend you, waffle.

"Haha..Fool!" Waffle shouted while gashing it with the swab, and making a burst of flames. It let out a load roar that echoed across the area and started scattering spores. "Uh oh..Not good..." waffle said while the ground below him semed to be shaking. Just then, a few little sprout popped up and crept over to waffle, just barely hitting him with futile attacks. Waffle jumped away and pelted the swab down towards the ground, engulfing the little annoyances in flames.
"Thats it..." He pulled out his lazer gun, which he had been saving for an important moment, and aimed at the sprout."You're going back to the earth!"

Really, a better plan if you have a specific number one weapon is to use it right off the bat. You know, because if you miscalculate by starting with the milder stuff, you won't be able to bring out the real weaponry after you're, you know, dead.

He started shooting rapidly at Trillionage Sprout and it seemed to be withering. He kept shooting and with a big burst of flames, it sunk into the ground.

"Pheeeew," waffle shouted looking around him. "One down...2 more to go..." He ran over to see how Luna and Mog were doing.

Wonder how long he'll give Luna and Mog to follow up before he just mops up the other Sproutlings himself? 

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Post #692, by PSIOsman

When Osman saw the wall of water and the flash of light, he knew that Alan had found a way to use PSI to enter the mind of Falcon.

In the real world, Siris stared at the bodies of Alan, Osman, and Falcon.
"Ummm..."

I presume that will be the end of Siris's contributions to this post. PSIOsman is hoping mentioning him will provide the requisite attention and make him stay away.

In Falcon's mind, the creature roared in pain from this attack from a new direction. The monster turned on Alan, who had just recovered from his landing. Falcon staggerd to his feet. He lurched towards the monster, and fell to the ground. He said "No... its taking my mind..."

Osman was the only one unoccupied at the moment. He tried to step forward, then bit his lip as pain shot through his broken leg.

Can't walk on a broken leg, at least not without doing something to stabilize it first. Your bones are there for important structural reasons. 

He stepped forward, then almost fell down...

Alan was battling the Monster viciously. He maneuvered quickly with his board and managed to get several good slashes. However, the beast got lucky, and rammed Alan with its horns. He flew several feet back.

I should have kept a running tally of how often people flew through the air when attacked in this thread. My best estimate is: a lot.

The monster turned and once again charged directly at Osman. since it was heavily wounded already by Alan, Osman was able to dogde just barely, even with his broken leg. However, this dodge left him in severe pain. Just as the creature was about to finish him off, he froze. Falcon had used the little control he had over his mind to temporarily stop the creature. PSIOsman charged his Scimitar with the energy of his PSI, like he did before, and drove it through the midsection of the beast. It roared in pain, and staggered forward. Alan, who had recovered enough, whacked the monster in the head, knocking it to the ground. As soon as it hit the ground, it turned into some type of vile black liquid, which seemed to evaporate very quickly. The black cloud that reached the ground some distance away started to lift, revealing something shining with the brilliance of the Sun. Falcon got up, apparently regaining his strength slowly...

I presume he means Lavos is now vanquished and Falcon24 is awakening in real life. I also presume Falcon24 will have other ideas.

[This message has been edited by PSIOsman (edited 04-27-2000).]

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Post #693, by SirMontyG

As we move more and more toward Serious Business, the average post length is rapidly rising.

"Hey, Skittleboy! Good to see ya. By the way, great sleepover a few weeks back, that was...wa..WAIT!!!!" Sir screamed out loud, piercing the silence of the bluff

"Sir, what's wrong?" asked Chris

"I just heard, or felt something. something that brings back some real bad memories.."

"Like what?" asked TSB

"Everyone's Grudge...that was the spell..ugh, that was the command of that..thing..." Sir became a little lightheaded and leaned back on his rock. "I was playing FF7, and it was 3 hours since I had been able to use a save. And then I ran into this enemy..didn't look like much, just a little guy with a star spinning above his head. Then he started casting spells...oh, the horror!! The slow and painful killing of my characters!! Knife, Everyone's Grudge, Everyone's Grudge, Knife, Knife...the shear agony! I beat the first few, but then my phoenix downs ran out, and Cid went down! from then he took out Cloud! And then..oh..then he slowly walked back and forth...I was giving him DeathBlow after DeathBlow from Barret (Which I nicknamed "Scruff") but he wouldn't go down! Then, after minutes of walking around, he knifed me. Urrrrghhh!! my entire day off runied by some little spellcaster. And, just now, I felt those words being said again...but this time in real life."

Honestly, I'm shocked it's taken this long for someone to attempt a Final Fantasy VII crossover. I mean, there was that thing with Barret showing up and giving somebody a Phoenix Down or something, but that doesn't count.

"Wow, what's it's name?"

"Never could find out. I couldn't sense the thing if my life depended on it, which it did."

"Do you really think that could be cast in real life?"

"Well, I don't know. Remember, I only heard the words, not the spell. Ungh..Now I can't decide weather I want to go and find whoever this guy is or not.."

Okay, then. Take however long you need, Major Asshole. It's important to get yourself sorted out before you make any major commitments. Ann Landers said so!

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Post #694, by Luna

Well, Luna easily made it in time.

Luna charged at the Billionage sprout, and blasted it with PSI fire beta. This continued until the sprout gurgled slightly and burst into flames, knocking Luna back. As with the trillionage sprout, little walking sprouts popped out of the ground and headed for her.
"Hah, like those things could ever do anything..." Luna smirked, but there seemed to be no end to the small sprorts. Soon there was around 100 of them, crowded around Luna, pinning her down and punching her in some perverse way.

Um..... yeah. 

One of Luna's favorite pastimes was saying things that were on their surface pretty obviously perverted, but framing them just so, so that others would tilt their heads and say "weeeell, maaaaybe she just doesn't know what she's saying" and let it slide. She was very good at this. "tentacle monster I hope you are male", "PORN SITE YAY", and many more.

"Augh! Sprouts, all over me! PSI FIRE BETA!" Luna yelled, destroying the sprouts in waves of flames.
"That's my sprout and its little buddys!" Luna grinned, and ran over to see how Mog and Waffy were doing.

waffle and Luna are trying their damnedest to entertain us, but to put it mildly these are still anticlimactic battles. Luna's just whistling happily while she toasts whatever the other ACs put in front of her and moving on. (Which is the Right Thing in IF.)

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Post #695, by SuperSpeedy/Mankey Boy

(Pikachu, sometimes Poryhedron does a high-speed Tackle. Sometimes, he does a compu-teleport, where he disappears in a bunch of 0'sand 1's. He does Compu-teleport for short distances, like a one yard radius. He also knows PSI Teleport, but that's for long distances.)

In short, he does everything and kicks ass and I win.

Poryhedron desided to help Alan fight, but saw Falcon get up.
# Poryhedron used Blizzard on Falcon.
# 50 hp damage to Falcon!
# Falcon was frozen solid!
(In Pokémon, when someone's frozen, they can'tmove or attack. They're unfrozen when hit by a Firey attack, which Poryhedron knows none of!)
# Poryhedron uses Hyper Beam on the Guardian Monster!
# 300 hp damage to Guardian Monster!
# Poryhedron needs to recharge!

I can't think of anything that would annoy Falcon24 (or myself) worse than some hyperactive little kid going around with his stupid porygon-thing--which still nobody has called him out for using two ACs--casually trashing his plot rails.

Also, I'm trying out the hashes to replace SS/MB's incessant bullet points, which are very aggravating to reproduce here.

Posts #686-690: 27 April 2000

Post #686, by Little Yoshi

Well, luck was with them, and Nathan had sent the right portion of the sound stone to Tim. He got the melody, and started learning new (magic or PSI, which would be more appropriate? I'm gonna go with magic for now).

He's asking which, in a story based on EarthBound, which uses PSI but never magic, he should use, PSI or magic? I doubt the sincerity behind the question. But then, based on that I can't figure out why he asked the question. Liyoshi posts are an endless stream of "Chrono Trigger is so cool!"

Tim used Fast Feet, a magic that teleported you somewhere else in the room. RIght behind Mani Mani, Tim struck with Hydro Slash.
Then, all of a sudden, the Apple of Enlightment threw Tim some coffe. tim drank it, and started to faint, but only for a second, or at least, in Mani Mani's time. Tim had actually heard some strange messages, and this lasted for many minuted in Tim's time. (I'll show these later, when I have more melodies)

I really doubt that.

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Post #687, by PSIOsman

In the real world, Alan and Siris saw Osman's leg bend outward at an extreme angle.

That has interesting implications. Shouldn't they then see energy blades magically appear in Falcon24's hands? Or OK, I'll concede that only changes to your body itself manifest; shouldn't that mean that if... you know what? No. I don't even want to finish this sentence.

"That can't be good..." remarked Siris.

PSIOsman, laying on the ground like pile of rags, saw the monster attacking Falcon.

Lying on the ground like a pile of rags.

Osman gritted his teeth, and forced himself to his feet. Even though Falcon had been against him and the others every step of the way, he was determined not to let Falcon fall to Lavos.

But why, Osman? This seems on its face irrational, which means that as long as you're letting us inside your thoughts, you should explain why you suddenly want to defend Falcon. My normal policy when two guys that are both trying to kill me suddenly leave that off and try to kill each other instead is to let them.

The pain from his broken leg was intense as he tried to walk towards them. He closed his eyes and started gathering his PSI energy. He was trying to focus himself, but something unexpected happened. The Scimitar gathered the energy like a battery, glowing brighter. PSIOsman hobbled forward and swung feebly at the beast that had Falcon in its grasp. The slash fell trmendouly short, but all the PSI energy concentrated in the blade flew toward the monster in a blast of shimmering blue energy. The tremendous force of this impact caused the monster to release its grip on Falcon. Falcon dropped to the ground, trying to catch his breath. The beast turned its attention once again to the crippled PSIOsman...

Well, that wasn't awful. Fill in a few blanks and you have a reasonable post there.

[This message has been edited by PSIOsman (edited 04-27-2000).]

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Post #688, by Ness The Skittleboy

After NessTSB's encounter with the ninja,he went to pond cave and searched,in which he couldnt find Tim or Juliana.

Well, at least you're searching. You're not going to find Juliana by sitting around on a goddamn rock.

He spent the night there and then teleported to the beach.There,he found Sir and Chris..on a rock.

Oh dear god.

Undetected by them,he crept up and found his own place on a similar rock.

Oh dear god.

Sir and Chris look at him funny as Skittleboy began to meditate and restore his sprit."Who are you?" said Sir.Chris replied "Some ninja from Shinjiku or something.." NessTSB came out of his meditating state and said "Whats up guys?"

It is truly an awesome monk that can go straight from meditation to "whats up guys?"

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Post #689, by Luna

On the floor of the cave, Luna was in intense pain. from her 300 hp, she had about 20 left, or so the health meter in her backpack said.

If you're in that poor health, I might suggest checking the health meter in your backpack is not an efficient use of your dwindling time.

"Luna? How many fingers am I holding up?" Waffle asked, standing over her.
"4." Luna answered.
"Wrong-o. 2."
"Wait, now there's 6! Stand still Waffle! Your fingers are multiplying!"
"It wouldn't seem like it..." Waffle mumbled to himself, holding his hand in front of his face and blinking at it.
Deep in the cave, a rumble came... and with the rumble, came 3 huge sprouts. They formed a tight circle around Luna, Mog, and Waffle, making it obvious they ment business.
"I am Millionage Sprout!" The first one roared.
"I am Billionage Sprout!" The second one roared, equally loud.
"And I... am Trillionage Sprout!" The last one yelled, making the cave echo.
"Not good..." Mog mumbled "Not good at all..."

Just wait until you see Octillionage Sprout. Then s--- will get real.

---

Post #690, by SaturnAl

There was no hope for Osman.

I bet you're wrong.

The huge monster was heading straight for him. Alan suddenly realized how good Osman was to him, and...

"PSI TSUNAMI!" Alan screamed

A huge wave came behind him. He grabbed his board and rode the wave that was heading straight for the creature. The wave hit him with tremendous force, and knocked the creature over. With the blades of his surfboard, Alan made an awesome turn and slashed the neck of the creature...

(I suck at conclusions. Osman, finish this.)

You're in for a surprise if you think you're anywhere near a conclusion to this Lavos matter, Junior.

Posts #681-685: 27 April 2000

Post #681, by Little Yoshi

By the way, I forgot to mention this last time: the pace of posting has dramatically slowed the last two calendar days. Now we're only getting ten posts a day or so; for a while back at and immediately after party time, we were getting ten posts in two or three hours. I think this accurately reflects the fact that the thread has mostly gotten boring and tired, the novelty has worn off, and so people are devoting less time to keeping up with it.

The time of 40 posts a day is over, but in a bit things will pick back up a little. We still have 1,000 posts to go and about six calendar weeks to get through them, which works out to roughly 20 posts a day.

Tim had lost 2/5 of his Max HP by now, and was getting worn out.

Liyoshi, the rest of us are also getting worn out. Want to guess why?

[Luna, Pogopunk, I need Lilliput Steps!]

God, now he's talking in 3164speak.

[Nathan, Luna gave you part of her Sound Stone, right? If you have Lilliput Steps, I need it-argghhhhhh!]

Mani Mani got bored of this suffering for Tim, and decided to bonk him on the head with the flat of his sword.

That's the same thing the monks that carried out the Inquisitions would do when they got tired of their victims' suffering. Just bonk 'em on the head with the flat of your sword. If that doesn't get 'em to recant their heretical beliefs, nothing will!

He was attempting to stop Tim from sending psychic calls as well.

Why? No one's listening to them anyway.

---

Post #682, by Dr. Andonuts

Nathan finds a small piece of rock on the ground. It appears to be part of Luna's sound stone. He thinks, "I'd better send this to Tim, too." He presses a button and it diappears.

Yeah. S--- like this is why people aren't posting on the Gathering that much anymore. I'll be interested to see what event actually rekindles interest in this just-about-dead thread. 

His computer then begins to beep. He looks at the screen and sees, "Transfer distrupted." He thinks, "Oh uh, I didn't know this transfer could be distrupted. It would be easier to rewrite the laws of gravity than to change the laws of hypersting funtion this thing uses to transport. I wonder where it ended up?"

Hypersting function is something killer bees do when they get really pissed off. I think. 

After pressing a couple keys, Nathan determines that at least part of the sound stone got through to Tim. But was it the right part, and what happened to the rest? Nathan decides to set out tracking down that peice of the sound stone.

(BTW, thats not just technoblable. You could transport using hyperstrings.)

In point of actual fact, you are talking out of your ass and betting your fellow 13 year olds won't challenge you on it.

[This message has been edited by Dr. Andonuts (edited 04-27-2000).]

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Post #683, by Falcon24

Charging towards the demon with amazing speed, all Falcon could think about was reclaiming his mind.

First we had PSI322's incredible strength. Now Falcon24's amazing speed. We can only assume Tengu Man's unbelievable intelligence is next.

He lunged at the creature with incredible ferocity, the battle blades digging deep into its side.

But wait until you see guruzeth's amazing arrogance.

Also, I didn't realize these were digging battle blades. Must be annoying as hell trying to pull them out while they're digging.

He began to furiously hack at the beast. "Get out of my head!!!" Suddenly, he noticed a large claw coming his way, and with a *SMACK* he went sailing backwards.

ACs fly through the air a lot when they get hit by bad guys. It's the Rule of Cool. 

The Lavos creature began to advance on him, waving its claws this way and that. "This...is MY mind! You can't have it!"

I can't fathom why this alien creature would want it. Clearly it is insane.

Falcon raised his hands and a barrage of energy rained down from the ethereal sky, battering the evil apparition.

I was about to make fun of Falcon24 for calling the sky "ethereal", but then I remembered this is all inside Falcon24's brain, so he's allowed to describe the sky however he wants.

However, it wasn't enough. Although the creature was wounded, it still had control of a large portion of Falcon's brain. A searing pain went through Falcon's mind.

I'm going to need to do some reading before I get proficient at grasping the difference between one's brain and one's mind. To my untrained senses, it seems like we're flipping between those words at random. 

In the real world, his body could be seen to jerk spasmodically. Within the realm of his mind, however, Falcon attempted again to thrash the demon. This time, the creature was ready. Just as Falcon prepared to gut it with the battle blades, a claw lunged forth and grabbed Falcon by the throat. The battle blades dropped from Falcon's hands, clattering on the ground.

Since they're made of energy or whatever, can't he just generate a couple more?

Lavos raised him high into the air, the eerie silence of the landscape was shattered by a malevolent laugh.

We keep going back and forth on whether this is a Lavos-thing or Lavos-creature or actually Lavos we're fighting. I'm so confused.

[This message has been edited by Falcon24 (edited 04-27-2000).]

Lately we've been having a lot of posts edited after the fact. Hopefully we'll soon find out why, and hopefully it will be entertaining.

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Post #684, by Queen Catherine

"Ohhh!" I said. "I'm going to go into Magnificant or whatever it's called..."

Said it a few times already, but: never played EarthBound.

I took a mysterious Pill and fell to the ground Limp. Matt tried to grab me and shook me awake. However, I was far away...

I'm pretty sure drug use in IF threads is prohibited. But it's OK since none of the moderators are reading any of this.

The sad thing is I don't even mind that PP/QC has returned. I'll take pretty much any break from the boring Lavos crap right now.

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Post #685, by EBPoo

Mog and waffy came running up as Poo had Luna down on her knees.

Hahaha. Speaking of things that are prohibited on the IF board. Wow. 

"Ugh, I don't have to deal with you two too," muttered Poo.
True words. I tried to warn them. 'Course, they don't have to deal with you either, as we just recently established. 

"Ah ha! I have a better idea." Poo reached into his pocket and pulled out two gallons of Miracle Gro. Poo ran up towards Trillionage Sprout and poured the two gallons on him. This not only caused Trillionage to grow gigantic, but made him split into three as well. Now there was Trillionage Sprout, Billionage Sprout, and Millionage Sprout. "Have fun!" Poo yelled as he ran to the Milky Well Sanctuary and claimed it with his Sound Stone replica. Then, as quick as lightning, and even quicker, Poo dashed out of the cave with waffy, Luna, and Mog left to deal with the three new Sprouts. After exiting the Milky Well caves, Poo hopped into the Skyrunner II and headed for Fourside once again. He had an idea.

You know, I like EBPoo's style. He easily wins the Creativity Award and no one else is even in second place. This thread would be fun if everyone wrote off-the-wall (but story-relevant) stuff like this.

Posts #676-680: 27 April 2000

Post #676, by Luna

Luna, waffle, and Mog stopped on a small hill right before the shining spot.
"Look," Luna started "It's obvious Poo's gaurding the shining spot and we need to lure him away. So I will do that."
"WHAT!?" Both Waffle and Mog shouted at her.
"His PSI is double yours!" Waffle said.
"He has healing PSI! He won't lose any time soon!" Mog said.
"I'm only a diversion!" Luna said angrily. "While I'm battling, you guys can go in and get the melody!" With that, she cracked the sound stone in two and gave part to waffle.

That sounds like a reasonable plan to me. If you're going to throw a diversion on pretty much anyone, Luna is the optimal person to do it. It would be hard for Poo to ignore her and attack the other ACs, because (a) he can't meaningfully inhibit their progress anyway if they don't want it inhibited, and (b) Luna is paying attention to him! This is his chance!

"Look, I'f we don't get this melody, evil is sure to win, which we don't want, RIGHT? Right. So let's go!"
As Waffle and Mog crept off to get the melody, Luna ran up to Poo.
"POO! I challange you to a duel!" Luna yelled at him.
"You actually think you can beat me? Ha! This should be good!" Poo smirked.
And so it began...

[This message has been edited by Luna (edited 04-27-2000).]

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Post #677, by waffle

Luna and Poo started battling while Waffle and Mog stepped in the sanctuary. Waffle walked over to the Milky Well and pulled out the sound stone from his pocket. He held it up and was full of a strange feeling. An unusual feeling, but still good.
"The melody! I think we got it!" Mog cheered.

As fortune would have it, waffle was able to jump in and snatch the melody before Poo could post and do anything. Although I don't think Poo really cares about the melody; it looks like everyone's getting what they want out of this little exchange.

A small, quite tune played and the Sound Stone started glowing.

Quiet.

"We did it." Waffle said smiling.

Or: "Smiling," waffle said. Also, this is the first I realized waffle has been capitalizing his AC's name.

Mog ran back to the entrance of the sanctuary. "Okay! We got it! Now we need to help Luna out!"
"Good idea," waffle replied, slipping the Sound Stone into his pocket.

Heh. So the "diversion" actually was no diversion at all, but rather just Team Waffle doing what they want and not allowing Poo to interfere. I don't imagine that was their plan, but rather they're trying to be Luna's hero. It's too bad, because the story would be better served letting Poo post first. At least there's a chance of some tension if we allow that. Instead what we get is yet another AC God Mode Pissing Match that, let's hope, Poo will make a face and ignore.

Both of them left the sanctuary and went to help Luna in the fight against Poo.

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Post #678, by Gauntlet Wizard

"We need to focus on Falcon's mind," Siris siad to Alan. "Maybe then we help Osman get out of there..."
"It's, like, worth a try."
"Okay. Concentrate..."
The two closed their eyes, and when they opened them again, the were in a totally different world...
PSIOsman was standing aboout 20 yards away, battling a huge creature. Falcon could be seen rushing toward the creature with two battle blades. "Let's go help..." Siris said...

I missed the part where Osman had engaged the Lavos-thing before Falcon got to attacking it, but sure, we can work with that.

---

Post #679, by Pikachu3164

[Hello? Poryhedron! Don't just stand there! Get us somewhere! Like Sanctuary 9!]
"Oh, right. I heard it was the Giygan spaceship."

In IF, like everywhere else in life, there are leaders and there are (many more) followers. There are still more than 1,000 posts left in the Gathering, and they will retell again and again the story of a few leaders and many people following them from place to place.

With that, Poryhedron did whatever he does to get places. I think he does a really big Tackle. So he did that.

ROFL. 3164 with a humor home run! That was awesome. I love bad IF writers. They are genuinely a lot more entertaining than the kinda-good ones. (And the really good ones tend not to write a lot of IF, because they're capable of writing stories on their own and end up spending their writing time doing that.)

Upon reaching the destination, they looked around and saw Sirus and Alan getting ready to help Osman and Falcon out.
"Did I miss something?"

Obviously you didn't miss the recent plot developments, since for no explicable in-story reason you have strongarmed your way here. 

---

Post #680, by PSIOsman

The horrible monstrosity showed no sign of weakening, and the wounds inflicted on it by Osman were like mosquito bites on the behind of a rhinoceros.

Nice imagery. And even more impressive is that every word in the above (correctly structured) sentence is correctly spelled. In fact, every word in this post is correctly spelled. Osman, it turns out, is one of the best technical writers in the Gathering crew, right up near the PSI322/guruzeth/Anthadd class. (And PSI322 and guruzeth have the major advantage of being five years or so older than Osman.)

Even in Falcon's mind, Osman's power had its limits.

You lie. You're an AC! The only limits are those imposed by PSI322.

His mental energy was slowly weakening, and the beast itself was creating a void of mental energy that sapped him continuously.

That's actually a neat concept, even if most if it is left to our imagination. 

The Scimitar felt heavy as lead as he dodged multiple strikes of that deadly tail.

On a square-inch-by-square-inch basis, actually, diamond is heavier than lead. So he's saying his Scimitar (note that this is a special Scimitar, hence the capitalization) got lighter.

Also, this is the first mention I can remember of a tail, but he calls it "that deadly tail" like everyone knows it's there. I guess I'm uninformed.

Suddenly, Osman misjudged a jump, and got swatted toward the ground. He heard a *crack*... and realized that his leg had broken.

That's what Lifeup and Healing are for!

The monster raised its tail for a final cut, when it stopped, apparently distracted. Both it and Osman turned to see a figure moving towards them, holding two massive battle blades...

It makes no sense, given the apparent lag time before the figure's (Falcon24's) arrival, that the creature wouldn't kill Osman and then turn to fight Falcon24. But hey, even such a contrivance beats the usual AC God Mode. This whole post is a breath of fresh air, honestly.

Posts #671-675: 26 April 2000

Post #671, by SaturnAl

(I'm still in this IF!!!)

But you're not really in Osman's plotline anymore. He went out of his way to leave you behind. You were keeping the man down, man.

______________________________________________
Alan didn't know what to do. He thought Falcon was acting like Osman. So he said, "Osman, what's my best PSI move?"
"Tsunami, duh."
"Whooooah! dOOd! You really are Osman! If you can like, totally concentrate, you'll be able to get your old body back."

Well, that's assuming he wants his old body back. There's a fair chance Falcon24 is hotter than PSIOsman, in which case Falcon's body would be just fine. But you'll notice how nowhere was it ever implied that PSIOsman was in control of Falcon24's mind or body; I'm almost certain Falcon24 would not be amused by that. He's just kind of there.

---

Post #672, by Little Yoshi

[Thank you very much, for those melodies, Nathan!]

And also, for this neat, sack full of commas, so I can, sprinkle them, at random through, my sentences!

Unforunatley, Tim was still unable to move, and he had lost about 1/5 of his Max HP by now.
(Didn't Chris and Juliana already get Milky Well?)

I vaguely remember that happening, only because Chris insisted on spelling it "Trilliongage Sprout" over and over. But why's that matter?

---

Post #673, by PSIOsman

When Osman head Alan's voice, he tried to control Falcon's mind. He managed to do so only long enough to reply to Alan's query. The evil power inside Falcon's mind was blocking everything getting out.

Very smartly played. Probably saved SaturnAl's bacon there.

PSIOsman tried to concentrae on teleporting out, but he was blocked in that endeavor too.

He looked around. He saw a tortured landscape, and a huge dark cloud spreading over it. The cloud was far away, but Osman was being drawn toward it. He started walking... A strange nightmare creature materialized! It had a huge yellow body, and a massive spiked tail. The horns on its head glowed with energy. Osman suddenly realized that he couldn't do this alone. He drew his Scimitar and hoped that Alan could get help
and find his way in here...

So basically this post represents the second time Osman has ditched SaturnAl, then SaturnAl immediately turned up, then Osman wrote his way back into allowing SaturnAl along. It seems like SaturnAl doesn't really post except when he's about to be forgotten.

(By the way, only a few seconds have passed in the real world. Time in Falcon's mind, which is being controlled by some Evil power, is sped up )

It's very poor form to include such a thing in an OOC comment. You're supposed to think up a way to write it into the story.

---

Post #674, by Ness The Skittleboy

After Chris bailed off the bus,leaving his hamburgers,Ness The Skittleboy tried to contact other people off in eagleland,but failed.

LOL @ "leaving the hamburgers." Well played. 

It was a long trip to Winters,and when he arrived,he was exhausted.He treaded through the snow,wondering why he hadn't just teleported after Chris left.

The rest of us are wondering why you didn't just teleport in the first place, like everyone else does. Or at any rate why you didn't get to where you were going in half of one post. 

He sat down on a ledge,watching the gruff goats feed on a bush below,and began walking towards milky well,but as he was walking,there occured such a shaking that it threw NessTSB off his feet.

NessTSB never played EarthBound more than maybe once. Milky Well is in Saturn Valley. Rainy Circle is in Winters, where pretty much everyone else has already been. 

A few hundred yards away,a black portal opened up and out emerged a figure.The figure was hidden because of the night and rushed off into the bushes.

I wonder where the mysterious black figure was off to in such a hurry?

The portal sealed up and NessTSB sprang to his feet. He crawled towards the edge, hidden in shadows and waited.Suddenly his ki went crazy and a dark figure leapt from the ledge above. NessTSB withdrew his katana and slashed at the figure.A metallic clink sounded out sparks flew as the figure's identical katana met Ness's.The figure was dressed in ninja attire,except it was all black.You couldn't see his eyes,and he swung his blade in a diagonal,in which NessTSB guarded.NessTSB spun around a slashed down and the figure guarded and strafed right.He met Ness's attack with three slashes,horizontal,vertical,and diagonal.Each were met by his katana in great resistance.NessTSB dodged right,and the figure's blade hit ground.He arched it towards skittleboy and jumped into the air.With this Ness swung his sword and it connected with the figure's frame.The black ninja hit the ground with a gasp of breath and flung his blade across the ledge."Who are you?" skittleboy demanded.The ninja gasped for air,saying its final words "I..die..in honor..and not..treason." And he sighed back and layed there.

I have to admit, if you can overlook the various spacing and grammatical problems, that's probably the best-written fight sequence in the Gathering so far.

Skittleboy looked into the snowy night and realized that something was going on,and his Ki felt like that everybody on the island would be in danger.And so he started out into the night,to look for Juliana and Tim.A ninja,only with light,void of darkness.

Is Juliana even in Winters anymore? It's been so long since the last PSI322 post I can't remember.

(Sorry Chris for the bad mistake I made,It wont happen again)

This probably means he's learned his lesson and will steer clear of Chris for a while, at least.

---

Post #675, by Falcon24

Falcon mumbled, falling deeper into his coma. "It was a trap...the 9th sanctuary was a trap and I fell for it!!" As if by magic he suddenly saw Osman, battling some strange creature. At once he recognized it. "It's on of Lavos' forms...he's in my mind!!" It was at this moment that Falcon understood everything. He had been tricked, duped, made out as a pawn all this time. Lavos had been controlling him from the very beginning, and with the consuming of the sanctuaries his black soul only got darker. This 9th sanctuary was embued with a heavenly energy, a place where Lavos' presence could not penetrate. That is why Lavos' powers had weakened when he entered.

Is this some kind of attempt to transfer Falcon's AC authority to Lavos while ostensibly still keeping his own AC in his back pocket? Pretty smart, if so.

It became clear to him that an unseen force, a force that had been watching over him the whole time had shown him the way to the sanctuary. Could it have been...the Earth itself? Was Mother Earth truly alive, and was watching one of it's children go astray? Or was it truly a greater power that had led him to his destiny?

Nah, it was probably Lavos duping the living hell out of you. 

All Falcon knew at the moment was that Lavos still had his twisted claws on a considerable portion of his mind, and he needed to force it out. He slowly brought up his courage, using his mind to aid him in his goal, he formed two psychic battle blades. He rushed off towards the Lavoian apparition, ready to reclaim his soul.

I guess that's kind of a pretty good post, if a little overdone. It would take some creativity for Osman or anyone else to find his way in through all of that.

Posts #666-670: 26 April 2000

Post #666, by Gauntlet Wizard

Siris met Alan and PSIOsman near Falcon's body.

I'm pretty sure Falcon isn't dead. 

"Can I do anything to help?" Siris asked.

Now that you mention it, going away comes to mind. 

Before either could reply, Osman's body suddenly went limp.
"Whoa!" Siris exclaimed. "What happened..?"
Upon further examination by Alan and Siris, it was apparent that PSIOsman had been drawn into Falcon's mind.

How exactly in the Five Hells did you determine through examination that that is what happened? You used the Sucked Into Nearby Mind Detector? Or maybe they cracked Falcon24's skull open and lo and behold, what did they see but a tiny PSIOsman in there.

"What should we do?" Siris asked Alan. "Wait for them to wake up, try to heal them, or try to go in after Osman?"
(Please, stay with me. If I don't post in a while it's because I'm AT SCHOOL!)

Man. You should transfer to a non-loser school where you get access to a computer and an internet connection at least once a day. But then, that would require not being a loser. 

---

Post #667, by Little Yoshi

"Well, if there's one good thing about this fight, it's that the Apple can sure put on some good background music," Tim said as the Apple of Enlightment started mysticaly playing the second battle with Lavos music.

Rule of Cool.

Then, the duel began. Tim quickly slashed at the Mani Mani Statue, and it shattered, but the pieces didn't fall to the ground. Puzzled at this quick of a victory, and that the pieces of the statue hadn't fallen, Tim didn't let his guard down. However, Mani Mani attacked from behind, and that was when it hit Tim that the Mani Mani Statue could create illusions. This certainly would be a tougher fight than any Tim had faced before.

Yeah, we're sooooooo titillated.

What's annoying isn't so much that Liyoshi is fascinated with these endless masturbatory battle sequences, but that he gets pissy at the suggestion that no one else is interested in them.

Tim turned and attacked with one of his most powerful moves, Hydro Slash. It did (a mere) 2034HP of damage to Mani Mani.

Then, the battle became one-sided.

Pretty sure this battle was doomed to one-sidedness from the start, skippy. And not in the way you're trying to imply. 

Mani Mani shot out some energy like the one that had enveloped him at Winters, and Tim couldn't move, and Mani Mani was draining his power slowly but surley.

Tim used a little PSI to read Mani Main's thoughts.

[This kid has alot of spirit and strength, but only the power of Lilliput Steps(hint hint, Luna and Pogopunk) can save him]

Good lord. He's been taking Attracting Women -101 from his brother.

"I wish I would've prepared before the battle," Tim said," I wish I could have help..."
"Why else would this be a duel?!" The Apple said, at Tim's help part, but then said" Actually, you CAN have indirect help, from your friends. They can channel and multiply your pow- whoops, wrong battle. Yor friends can however, send you their melodies and good luck, and pray for you."

It is genuinely painful to see such an elaborate--but hodgepodge--attempt at drawing attention to himself. My head hurts.

[To all of you who care for my safety,

That would be none of us. 

and for your own,

That would, again, be none of us. We're goddamn ACs. 

now that I think about it, lend me your strength! I need some more melodies to help me comat the Evil Mani Mani Statue! Please, help!]

What will this be, anyway, the third or fourth time Evil Mani-Mani has been trashed?

(You can help Tim, or watch him suffer in my next few posts.

I would very much like to watch him suffer, but I'm not holding my breath. 

However, I may be the only chosen one to battle the Evil Mani Mani Statue, so this may be our only shot)

Yeah, he definitely hasn't been doing much reading.

"Even if your friends could help you, you must realize my skill quite exceeds your own, and my power is far greater than you can imagine!" The Mani Mani Statue said, though he deep down inside feared he may not be the victor of this duel...

Providing insight into what Evil Mani-Mani is thinking does nothing for the reader except remove whatever tension might exist. Deep down inside, I fear I might have entirely wasted my time reading this post.

---

Post #668, by Dr. Andonuts

Nathan recieved Tim's pysic call. Nathan broke his sound stone in half and sent the melodies of Giant Step, Pink Cloud, and Rainy Circle to Tim.

Wow, the Liyoshi/Nathan band is getting back together. This is exciting!

---

Post #669, by Pikachu3164

Okay, I've decided that I will stay in the story. But, in order to avoid me being in the Lavos conflict, Pikachu is still cryogenically frozen. So all I'm doing is communicating to people with PSI.

That sounds suspiciously like making content-free, entirely out of character posts. Let's see how it plays out.

And no desroying Pikachu just because he's helpless. Right before he was frozen, he managed to put up a Light Screen that will protect him.

3164, you don't have to worry about that. You of all people should be aware that killing ACs is prohibited. Or were you really just saying "please don't pick on me :("?

[Okay, Poryhedron, I have 3 things to say. First, I'm not totally out of it. I can still use PSI speech. Second, that was just an illusion of Lavos. Third, someone needs help at the 9th Sanctuary.]
Poryhedron then dropped Pikachu, thoughtless and speechless that Pikachu was still in the IF.
[Oh, and fourth, tell me exactly who has a piece of my Sound Stone - I think there are about 20 gazillion peices ou there somewhere.]

Exactly. Makes it seem like it doesn't really matter who has what piece because, what the hell, everyone's got the suckers anyway, doesn't it?

[This message has been edited by Pikachu3164 (edited 04-26-2000).]

---

Post #670, by EBPoo

"That dumb Luna, she didn't even see it coming. I just ran ahead of her and she didn't even notice. How ridiculous." Poo takes out his binoculars and looks back at Luna. Now she was grouped up with waffy and Mog. "Oh terrific. Now she's teamed up with a walking breakfast food and a Moogle."

You have to admit he has a point.

Poo quickly rushed towards the shining spot and stood there. "They are NOT getting past me or to Milky Well. I'll make sure of it," Poo said as he whipped out his sword and prepared PSI Starstorm.

I'm giddy. AC standoff coming! Involving Poo and Luna, guys!

Posts #652-665: 26 April 2000

Post #652, by EBGuy

And they chose...
Onett! What a beautiful place!
EBGuy: Ok. Time to go to onett
Svbman: Nee.
EBGuy: PSI Teleport B!
*yoingyoingyoingyoingyoingyoing*
Svbman: (O_o)';;
EBGuy: Okay dokay. We're here.
EBGuy: AHH! Whats with the red sky? (Note the red sky from episode 1)
EBGuy: I dunno but.. Lavos?
Svbman: Who's Lavos
EBGuy punches Svbman
Svbman: OW!
Ah ehhehe
eheh heh
EBGuy: I ened to sleep. I haven't slept in about 4 episodes.
And so they did. They went to the Onett Hotel and stayed there for the night. What will happen next?
EBGuy: I know! I'm gonna kill the narrator next!
Er.. thats not what I was thinking.

------------------
"Okashii na.... namida ga nagareteru. Hitotsu mo kanashikunai no ni..." -- Quatre from Gundam Wing

You have to admit, at least he seems happy. You'll find no angst in this guy's posts. 

---

Post #653, by Luna

Luna blinked at the strange display that had just happened.

That was pretty much my reaction, too. 

"mmm... interesting..." Then, turning her attention to poo, she blinked at him, too. "WHAT are you doing here anyways?! And why are you following me around?"

That has also been pretty much what I've been wondering. Well, not really; it's obvious, to me and to Luna, why he's following her around. 

But in the one second she'd blinked at him, he was gone.
"...weird...Hey mog!" Luna shouted down the cave "If you wanna come, you can!"

Now she's reaching out to one of the depressed, attention starved kiddies. Even PSI322 would do that only very, very rarely.

"Yes! I was getting so bored!" Mog grinned "Where's Poo? I thought he was here a second ago!"
"Gone. I didn't even see him leave. Let's get to the milky well cave before it's too late"
With that, the two ran off to the sanctuary.

---

Post #654, by SuperSpeedy/Mankey Boy

Poryhedron, carrying the cryogenically frozen Pikachu on his back, took Pikachu's Sound Stone and threw it to OS.

The rest of this post is in bulleted list format, but screw it; it takes more time than it's worth to convert it here. Nobody is ever going to more than very quickly skim it over anyway.

OS used PSI Power Release!
OS became OS+!

I felt a great disturbance in the Force. Like millions of voices groaned in unison, and were silenced.

OS+ rapid-fired energy balls!
600 damage to Lavos.
300 damage to Lavos.
150 damage to Lavos.
75 damage to Lavos.
OS+ used PSI Spirit Bomb Omega!
Lavos is a non-AC character!
Lavos is evil!
Lavos was defeated!

I have a feeling Falcon24 is going to take exception to that. Hopefully in classic Falcon24 fashion.

OS+ & Poryhedron returned to the hotel.
OS+ ran out of power!
OS+ turned back into David!
"What happened?" said David. "And where's Lavos?"
"You defeated him!" said Poryhedron.
"I'll take your word on it," said Dave. "Let's go back to our hotel room."

Ohhhh, this is going to be good.

---

Post #655, by waffle

(Heh, I bet you didn't think i'd come back)

Sure I did! I snuck a peek at some later posts and you were in them. Plus, I don't remember you announcing your intent to leave forever, and it's not like you're going to ignore the biggest thread in forum history.

Little did anyone know, waffle was also heading to the sanctuary. Thats where he had been for most of the time he was gone.

Well, you're sure taking your sweet time. 

He was fighting a couple little shrooms when Luna walked up.
"Uhm... I was just going up there to beat up that sanctuary guy" waffle said blasting the mushrooms one last time, "What're you doing?"
"Well, the same thing," Luna replied. Waffle picked up a muffin the enemy left behind.

Muffins were, like pants, a starmen.net meme at the time.

"Saaaaay, Luna? Could I come along with you and help defeat that thingy? Like, join forces and stuff?"

She replied...

[This message has been edited by waffle (edited 04-26-2000).]

Awesome! So waffle's going to jump back in and try to lay claim to his woman. It's about time somebody showed some balls.

---

Post #656, by Falcon24

Falcon stood before the Giygan spaceship. "At last, I'm here....to think, ages ago this served asa means of bringing a great evil to this world.

He meant to type "served ass means", of course.

Now, it is so much rubble...Now, how to get in?" As if in answer to his question, a ramp extended from the ship and touched down neatly at his feet. "That was almost too convenient..." Falcon climbed the ramp and entered the ship.

Hopefully that's foreshadowing of something bad about to happen and not just normal IF ACs bend the Pattern of existence stuff.

"I can feel it, an immense power! And it will be MINE!" As Falcon neared the 9th sanctuary he felt a strange sensation overcome him, enveloping his whole being. "Wha-what..." He took the occassion to look at his hand. "How in the--!?" The Lavoian disguise was fading away. "I have a bad feeling about this..."

Nevertheless, Falcon continued towards the ninth sanctuary.

I cannot say why one paragraph ago he typed "9th" and now he's typing "ninth". We really could have used some type of official ruling about this.

At last, the disguise bestowed on him by Lavos had dissappeared. A wave of intense pain had encompassed him. He felt sick to his stomach. "What is this..." Suddenly a sharp pain rocketed through his skull, as if a dagger was being thrust into his brain. He grabbed his head in pain and sank to his knees.

In excruciating pain, unable to scream from lack of breath, he used his last ounce of strength to do something he would have never dreamed of doing--he let out a psychic call for help.

Ohhhh, that's deliciously dangerous. I like it. One of the better twists I've seen so far--who will come to Falcon24's aid? "One of the kiddies" is a big favorite in the early betting.

And don't worry; this was his story post, and then he will follow up immediately with his "go to hell, SS/MB" post. Like a pro, he's keeping them separate.

---

Post #657, by Falcon24

(There seems to be a complication here because we can only use one AC character.

Yes, the complication is that most of you would like to use six ACs each, but that's been tried and it sucks. That's why you're only allowed to use one here.

No, seriously, as predicted, Falcon24 is going to try to claim Lavos as an AC. Let's see if he's smart enough, especially since SS/MB is the offending party here, to cite his stupid Poryhedron or whatever as evidence that he should be allowed a second AC. I thought Tengu would bring it up first. 

Nevertheless, I feel that if Lavos was destroyed so easily (*cough* Speedy *cough*) that would severely damage the plot.

Your plot, perhaps. But then, you should consider that this is interactive fiction, and most of the writers don't care much about your plot.

It's a hairy subject and exactly why Tengu (and, here, Falcon) was so fond of crossover characters. If anyone AC God Moded the crossover character to death, he could plead for a moderator to step in on grounds the character is plot-important, effectively sidestepping the AC limitation. It's shrewd. 

And yet I find it hard to get too worked up, because what SS/MB did was exceptionally stupid and annoying. It almost kind of makes me want to take Falcon24's side even though the whole Lavos thing was itself stupid and annoying to begin with.

If we were allowed more than one AC I would take the opportunity of controlling Lavos as well, because then I would be able to control its life or death.

And by extension, control the entire story. 

Unfortunately, seeing as how this is not the case, I must merely ask all of you to not do such things like "I engage Lavos by myself. 803250958752390 HP of damage to Lavos! Lavos dies and I win and I 0wn you all and we all live happily ever after."

Yeah... you have to admit Falcon24 has a solid handle on how AC God Mode works.

PLEASE, let's try to do something a bit more interesting than that(my personal suggestion is for all AC's to gather at the end to defeat it, but you can do what you will).

Thanks for your permission!

Please take my plea into consideration, because I believe(or at least hope) that by doing so this story can turn out to be very interesting indeed. Anyone else care to comment? )

Sure, I'll comment: Falcon24 continues to demonstrate, by his repeated attempts to turn it into collaborative fiction, that he doesn't really like the interactive fiction concept much. It's too bad him and Tengu never got together and took a crack at a collaboration.

---

Post #658, by PSIOsman

As Osman and Alan were walking away from the spaceship,something made Osman stop.

Ehhh... Osman isn't really what I have in mind when I say kiddies. But I should have bet on him, since he was already at Falcon24's setting after all. Also note how SaturnAl is once again absent and we're left to wonder how long it'll be before Osman gives up and leaves his AC behind in a shelter somewhere.

"We have to go back!" He yelled.
"But why, Dude?"
"I don't know. We just do!"

Meaning, "because I just read in the last post that there's something important happening back there!" But nah; he's telepathic like everyone else, and Falcon24 did send out some telepathic spam.

They ran to the other side and saw a ramp leading into the ship. They heard muffled cries from within.

"Dude, if that was there, why did we cut into it?"

A very fair question, Alan! "Because it's more badass" would be one possible answer.

"I don't know..."

Suddenly, the cries stopped. Osman and Alan doubled their pace and ran inside. When Osman saw who was inside, He gasped, and took a step back...

It was Falcon! And he was on his knees struggling to breathe...

FINISH HIM!

[This message has been edited by PSIOsman (edited 04-26-2000).]

---

Post #659, by Gauntlet Wizard

(Okay, I've been ignored too much...)

Awww. We're so sorry we didn't give you the attention you deserve. :(

Siris suddenly fell to his knees. A brief psychic vision had rocked him, and only after its initial effect was Siris able to comprehend it. Someone was calling for help...
Always one to help someone in need, Siris took off at an immense speed in the direction of the call. About two-point-four-three minutes had passed before Siris reached the point of the call....

Too slow, skippy. Osman'll be all done and gone off elsewhere before half that two minutes and 23 seconds is up.

---

Post #660, by Ness The Skittleboy

(Hey guys..can we start reading each other's post so we know whats going on,Sir, Chris is not on the rock anymore..)

NTB has a valid point about people should read other people's posts for f---'s sake, but I'm pretty sure Major Asshole knows Chris wasn't at his rock, and just wrote him in there because he felt like it.

Meanwhile In Onett,at the Bus Stop..
Ness The Skittleboy said "Here comes the bus,Chris." Chris secretly snuck back beside skittleboy, clutching a bag full of hamburgers that he had secretly bought behind NessTSB's back.

Ah, so we officially have an AC tug of war over--of all people--Chris. Didn't see that coming. I mean, it's a lot more likely than a battle over who Mog116's with, or PP/QC or somebody, but a lot less likely than Luna or Falcon24 or etc. 

"Yes..yes..the bus" said Chris. NessTSB and Chris climbed on the bus and they both paid equal amounts of the share for the ride and sat in the very back.

What a skinflint. Can't even pay the administrator's bus fare. 

I wonder if Chris is trying to wait PSI322 out or what. He hasn't posted in a while.

Including them,there were several other people on the bus,but they were busy with their everyday routine.When NessTSB And Chris sat down,Chris began to eat a hamburger since he hadn't had anything to eat in awhile.NessTSB's ki sensed something strange and he reached into the bag without looking and grabbed a hamburger and began to eat it.Chris frowned at looked out the window.NessTSB looked at the other passengers,inpatient to get to winters.

Apparently they're taking a bus from Onett, which does not have bus service, to Winters, which is on a completely different continent. Awesome! I want to see that bus in action.

---

Post #661, by Luna

"Sure! We could always use more help!" She said, smiling at waffle.
"Deffintly!" Mog added

Good move speaking for Mog116 before he does something weird and tries to drive waffle off. Then again, I don't think Mog is yet aware that he's in Team Luna.

---

Post #662, by PSIOsman

"Alan... We have to help Falcon."
"But, dude! Is that, like, wise?"

He's not waiting very long between posts; he lacks the patience to wait around as long as a day or two to see if SaturnAl is going to reappear. Two days would be something like 60 or 70 posts right now.

"I don't know. Keep your board ready just in case Falc tries some funny stuff..."

I'm straining to think of something original and funny Falcon24 ever said--at least before 2002, when I stopped paying attention--but the best I can come up with is some hilarious stuff from when he was making fun of Tengu, and then later when he was in an elaborate flame war with NeoPaula. Ahh... good times. His sense of humor was (obviously) better than, say, Tengu Man's or guruzeth's, but SimonBob he was not.

Osman concentrated on what little PSI powers he had. Before he could find out what was wrong, he was drawn into Falcon's mind!

That, uh... that's... interesting.

It seemed that whatever was attacking Falcon was draining his mental energy. When Osman tried to use his, it got drained as well...

PSIOsman opened his eyes. Alan was not with him. He clutched his Scimitar, which had strangely come with him into Falcon's mind.

Turns out the answer to "how long before Osman gives up and ditches SaturnAl?" was: one more post.

He saw...

---

Post #663, by Little Yoshi

(O my gosh, I am SO sorry for not posting in so long, forgive?)

Probably he hasn't really read the 200 posts he missed. Which is just as well, because it turns out that the total number of times anyone said "hey, what happened to Liyoshi?" was: zero.

(Also, I completley support Falcon about the short battle thing. I LOVE long, epic battles, that's why I love FF7 WEAPONS)

Long is most distinctly not synonymous with epic. Not even close. To paraphrase Gimli from DM of the Rings, nobody said we wanted to read line-by-line battle scripts until my wife divorced me and Chris flunked out of college.

Tim decided to head back to his sanctuary, Rainy Circle. It was his favorite out of all of them, and he was glad that he had its power.

Something he has in common with PSI322, incidentally. Me, like most EarthBound fans, I'm a Lumine Hall kind of guy. 

Suddenly, Tim started learning some Ice PSI! Tim then decided that since this IF was all about a party, not saving the world, he decided he would return to the outer island. However, he didn't succeed. Some energy surronded and paralyzed him.He tried to yell for help, but couldn't! Then, he was flung into the air. He braced himself for the fall as the energy disappeared. But, he hadn't fallen yet. In fact, he was starting to see all of Winters! "I'm...flying?" Tim thought to himself. Once he was over Fourside, he fell to the ground, or at least, so he thought. He actually landed in the Cafe. His force was so hard, he fell into the basement.
"The chosen time has come." A being said. It was the Apple of Enlightment.
"You two must now duel." The Apple said, and with that, Tim and The Evil Mani Mani Statue prepared.

(Oh, guys, instead of please help me, please DON'T help me)

Look, kid, if you want to write fanfic, no one's going to bar your exit from this thread, and we'll hook you up with the email address of the guy that runs the Fanfics section.

Otherwise, you have no business forbidding other people in the interactive fiction forum from adding on to your post.

---

Post #664, by Chris

(Speaking of reading other people's posts, Ness TSB, I planned on sitting on my rock for quite a while. Since you wrote me as going to Onett, I'll go, but as you'll see, I'm going back on my own again.)

I checked back and I was indeed mistaken: Chris did in fact voluntarily return to Angst Rock. What follows is kind of pissy and lame; better if Chris had simply ignored NTS's intrusion and continued his regularly scheduled angsting. Either way, Major Asshole will provide his usual comic relief, I'm sure.

"Well, it seems there isn't much to do. People everywhere are taking care of Lavos, while others are returning to the outer island to resume the party. I should be heading back to get things ready. Good luck though, and if you run into any serious trouble, I might come to your rescue."

And with that, Chris set out for his rock again, and once there, pondered on what could happen at the party next.

He seems determined to sit at Angst Rock until PSI322 posts again or the Earth crashes into the Sun, whichever comes first.

---

Post #665, by SirMontyG

Right on cue. I wonder what it is with this guy and stalking Chris?

(Skittle Boy: that's why I said I was only sitting next to Chris's rock. I didn't say he was actualy there

But he was.

(And Faclon: I understand the reason for wanting a decent battle, I learned that one the hard way after I took out Starman Supreme in one post, later reading my message box telling me to keep the battle going. Forgivenes please, Chris!!)

Ah. So there were already private messages at this point. So that opens the door to a lot more behind the scene collaboration than I first suspected.

[Noo!!Nooo!!The pain! The tourcher! Help! How did my plan stop so suddenly!! Help, anyone! Please!!!]

"Did you hear anything, Chris?" Sir asked the newly-returned from Onett ac.

"Nope. Did you?"

"Not a thing. Srawberry Daquri?" Sir had room servace bring over a few drinks (non-alcoholic, of course, heh)

Hahahaha. Dear Falcon24: Go take a long walk on a short pier, please. Major Asshole delivers the goods post after post. He's definitely MVP of this interminable drifting middle section of the Gathering.

Posts #644-651: 25 April 2000

Post #644, by EBPoo

"Hmm...that Pink Cloud and Magnet Hill's been destroyed by Falcon...I've claimed Lilliput and Fire Springs...now all that's left is Giant Step, Milky Well, Lumine Hall, and Rainy Circle. I have heard rumors about a ninth melody, but it's probably nothing. Now, scrambling these open Sanctuary spots in my brain and picking a random one by thought shall yield me: Milky Well. Well, to Milky Well then!"

Yeah... I'm sure that was random. REALLY sure.

Poo boarded the Skyrunner II and set the destination to Saturn Valley. Within a couple hours, Poo landed in the Hot Springs of Saturn Valley. "I needed to give this thing a washing anyway," Poo muttered to himself as he went forward to Milky Well. Suddenly, he encountered Luna. "LUNA???" stuttered Poo.

Yeah... I act surprised.

"What the heck are you doing here?" questioned Luna.

---

Post #645, by EBGuy


On the plane SirMontyG had jumped out the window, so they lost him.
But anyway

Um. OK, then.

EBGuy: Finally! The Plane is landing in HHV!
Svbman: Yay...
Announcer: Please get off the plane!!!
EBGuy: (O_o)';;
Svbman: ^_^';;
EBGuy and Svbman run off the plane into HHV.
EBGuy: ARgh! No one here! Saturn valley!!!
And so they traveled. and traveled..
and traveled.. an- EBGuy: SHUT UP!
Err umm... and then they made it.
Svbman: Hey look! Theres Luna and EBPoo!

Give him credit for not really bothering to pretend there is some reason they're in Saturn Valley other than that's where Luna is.

EBGuy: Hey yeah! Do you think we should go over there?
Svbman: Hmm..
EBGuy: Be kind of embarrassing just to bust in but ---
---
0---
EBGuy: HEY! WASSUP MUH HOMIES! NEE! FRIGGAN NEE!
Svbman: YEAH ROCKIN DUDE! NEE!
Luna: ???
EBPoo: ???

FInnnnddd out what happens in the next thrilling episode of "The Search for the Holy SM.Netters!!!"

I should have banned this guy from the IF forum at once. Good god.

------------------
"Okashii na.... namida ga nagareteru. Hitotsu mo kanashikunai no ni..." -- Quatre from Gundam Wing

---

Post #646, by PSIOsman

PSIOsman and Alan reached the hotel and special SM.net buildings, but Falcon was nowhere to be found.

I forget. Why was he supposed to be there, again? And how did they get here from the Magicants?

Suddenly, the Scimitar glowed brightly, and Osman recieved the same psychic message that Falcon had! Apparently, the Scimitar had acted as a psychic antenna, pirating the message...

Stop. Please. Just stop. I can't take it anymore. I beg you. For the love of everything beautiful, STOP MAKING UP EXCUSES FOR FOLLOWING OTHER PEOPLE AROUND.

"Alan. We need to get to some place quick."
"But why, dude?"
"Never mind that. We just do."
"No problemo, dude. I have a great idea. Grab the back of my board."
"Ummm.... Okay."
"Now... PSI TSUNAMI!"
"Uhhh... Alan?"

The huge mass of water struck the board and launched it high in the air... and the board started gliding! (if you ever saw those old Zelda cartoons, it's like Link surfing on his shield ) PSIOsman was hanging on for dear life!

Should we even take the time to discuss the implications of summoning a f---ing tsunami? The mass destruction and death inflicted on the innocent populace by an AC for no better reason than he wants a cool-looking way to get somewhere? 

Naaaah. They're just faceless NPCs.

Our AC crew has progressed from petty theft to grand theft boat to armed robbery to, finally, mass murder. Stay classy!

"Now, where to, man?"
"d-down there," Osman replied shakily.

Alan then banked, and dived insanely. He used the blades on his board to slash through the foliage on the way down. Alan executed a perfect landing, and Osman jumped up and dusted himself off. They were in front of the Giygan spaceship... However, they could see no way in...

"Dude, now what?" Asked Alan.
"Now, we wait. I have a feeling that message was not for us..."

That's kind of interesting. They've set a trap for Falcon24 and announced the trap to him, but have left him with no easy way to avoid it. Trying to just say "I sneak on board the ship and PSIOsman and SaturnAl never notice" won't work; they can just say "did too." And obviously he can't kill them. If he can't stand the thought of them meddling, he'll have to either leave off the spaceship thing, or wrap up everything he wants to do there in one post. (Presumably he will do the latter.)

---

Post #647, by EBGuy

This is less than 20 minutes behind EBGuy's last post (above). He's just banging out nonsense to amuse himself, secure in the certainty no one will ever try to join his plotline.

EBGuy: Hahha!~
Svbman: Hahha!~
Luna: What the..?
EBPoo: What the..?
----------------------
EBGuy: No. Lets not do that. tis a silly thing to do.
Svbman: Nee.
EBGuy: Yes, Nee.
EBGuy: Actually! Follow me!
EBGuy runs into milky well
EBGuy: MILK! MIIIILLLKKK!
EBGuy drinks milky well
Svbman: (O_o)';;
EBGuy: *Slurp* Yum.
EBGuy runs out
what EBGuy doesn't know is by drinking that water, he has been filled with a special power. And that power is... PSI!
Svbman: Hey man, you have PSI!

Well, Chris is not going to be amused.

EBGuy: I do?
EBGuy: PSI Nee! NOW!!
...
...
KABOOSH!
A blast of fire comes out of EBGuy's hands.
EBGuy: Heh! Cool!
Svbman: Cool? Cool?! That is not cool! Thats.... AWESOME!!
Svbman runs up to Luna
Svbman: do you have any surge?
Luna: ...?

Where shall our heroes go next? Find out on the 7th episode of the search for the holy SM.Netters!!

------------------
"Okashii na.... namida ga nagareteru. Hitotsu mo kanashikunai no ni..." -- Quatre from Gundam Wing

This guy really should not have been permitted to post, and his already existing posts should have been summarily deleted. At least loid and Mog116 were occasionally trying to vaguely participate in the thread. This is an atrocity.

---

Post #648, by Godeg

Having stopped spacing out for a while, Mike returns to the IF.

So... uhh... Nathan? What are we doin here? Hangin out? I was sorta spacin' out... dunno why, though. I think when Falcon24 destroyed my walker, i bumped my head or something.

I don't remember Falcon24 destroying his mech. Do you remember that?

---

Post #649, by SirMontyG

After jumping out of the plane (and landing on a dime, which he picked up and spent at a penny arcade) Sir was sitting on a rock adjacent to Chris's.

LOL. I love Major Asshole so much. 

After staring off into the distance for a while, he decided to pull out his saxophone and began a quiet, relaxed tune. As to compliment his playing, the clouds slowly roled over the bluff overlooking the ocean and began a light rain. "Ahh...this is it. Man, I wish I could stay here for a while..Hey, why not? I'm in charge of my own destiny, or at least here I am..I love this.." After thinking for a second, Sir went back to playing his soft tune.

I can't really tease out any purpose for this post besides continuing to stalk Chris's footsteps. Yet I find it strangely enjoyable. I think the Gathering is warping my feeble mind.

---

Post #650, by Tengu Man/Makron

Holding the all powerful, 9th sanctuary in their hands, Darth couldn't help but wonder WHY Paula and Mani were the keys to unlocking it.

That's Tengu for you. Whatever he has hold of is the most powerful thing in the world, but only the Mary Sue(s) in the story could use it. He did this exact thing in probably every IF he ever participated in. 

Prehaps they were somehow connected to it? Darth also wondered about Lavos, who was probably still too weak to copy most DNA patterns then.

Perhaps this is what you do in every IF and none of us are surprised by it at all?

"Guys... the time to strike is now.. Lavos must be stopped, whether we have all 9 melodies or not. I have the feeling that the 9th melody is all someone needs to somehow stand up to Lavos." Darth said.

An engraved f--- you to everyone who's still trying to make a big deal of the damned melodies.

"Wait, what about all these other people over the island?" asked Mani.

"We should have some of us deliver copies of the melody to some. Who wants to volunteer?"

"I will.." Diamond Dog answered.

"I guess I could too." Jeff said, "We're gonna need a lot of help."

"Jeff, I'd better come along, since I understand the stone the most." Ness volunteered.

Darth, Paula, and Mani were left to deal with what was next...

You're not gonna believe this, but this isn't the first time Tengu has isolated himself with Paula and whatever other girl(s) might be around.

---

Post #651, by PSIOsman

"Alright, I'm tired of this crap. I'm not waiting any longer," said Osman. He jumped to his feet and grabbed his Scimitar.

I might have suspected PSIOsman constructed that semi-clever trap entirely by accident and has no idea what he's doing. Oh well. 

HE concentrated, and the sword started glowing brighter and brighter. He leaped toward a panel on the side of the ship and slashed it open with all his might! The panel fell off.

"Come on," said PSIOsman to Alan. Alan followed him into the ship. They explored deep inside. They found the place that Darth and the others fought Ginack. They found the area with the ninth melody. Osman held his Scimitar to it and absorbed it.

At least he cuts to the chase. Liyoshi would have stretched this out over four half-page posts. I'm still uncertain--and I'm pretty sure Osman is too--why the ninth melody matters. It just seemed like staying on Tengu Man's heels was the thing to do right then.

"Dude, that sword can do anything." said Alan
"Now, all we need to do is grab the other melodies from the rest of the people, defeat Falcon on the way, and then kill Lavos, and then we can go PARTY!"

Somehow I don't think you've thought your cunning plan all the way through. AC's are invincible, and if Falcon24 being an AC isn't enough, he also is going to treat Lavos like his AC.

Off to Twoson!

[This message has been edited by PSIOsman (edited 04-25-2000).]

Thus concludes Calendar Day 17 of the Gathering.

Post #643: 25 April 2000

Post #643, by Ness The Skittleboy

Ness The Skittleboy,using his stealth ninja skills,disappeared from PsiOman's group and teleported to the beach.His ki sensed somebody nearby,and when he emerged from the bushes,he saw Chris.

You'll notice how everyone comes up with an only slight variant on the theme of "I'm using OOC knowledge to know where everyone else is", but it all ends up sounding the same anyway.

"Greetings Chris" Ness The Skittleboy said."Hey..arent you that ninja from Scaraba?" Chris Replied."That is correct.." said NessTSB.Chris asked "Wheres the rest of the group?" NessTSB thought for a moment "Juliana and Tim went to silent spring,I think..and PsiOman and somebody else wound up in magicant.I am not postive where they are now,though." he said.

Poor SaturnAl. He's just an unremembered somebody else. 

Chris nodded and got up off the rock. "You mind if I follow you?" Chris said. "Not at all.." said NessTSB.

I know I sound like a broken record, but yet again we have somebody not creative enough to think of anything to do trying to drag someone kicking and screaming into doing the work for him. I estimate it will take Chris about 12 words--I'd say less, but Chris is wordy--to leave Skittleboy in a cloud of dust.

"Can you teleport?" asked NessTSB.Chris shook his head "Im not incredibly ninja-like like you." he replied.

LOL

"Okay..let's go to Onett and catch a bus to winters." NessTSB said. Chris and NessTSB headed for Onett,to take a bus to Winters to find Juliana and Tim.

Posts #635-642: 25 April 2000

Post #635, by Anthadd

Anthadd emerged from the forest, battered and bruised, but nonetheless overjoyed to have escaped from the torture of the inner sanctum of Eagleland Island.
"Make note: In future, refrain from descending into the bowels of large, tropical islands."

Well, he cooled off and realized stomping his feet and leaving was kind of childish, but he's making no bones about how stupid he thinks the violence is.

---

Post #636, by SirMontyG

(Hey, I was remembered in a flashback! Coool...)

Sir looked at his fellow knights and said "Hey, EBGuy, Svb, it's fun making sensless posts and quipping Python for no apperent reason, but I think this adventure don't call for it. Sorry about that, but post a new IF about something completly diffrent (get it?) and I'm there. Later!" And Sir left and went back to talk to Chris. "Hey, gonna do that improv thing soon?" Sir pulled up a rock

Apparently Major Asshole concurs with Anthadd. I wasn't expecting that.

---

Post #637, by EBPoo

After FINALLY landing in his homeland of Dalaam, Poo got out of the Skyrunner II as a crowd of girls gathered around him. "Ooo...Poo, you are such a hunk!" said one girl.

Hahaha. After all, there's no point in playing Poo if you don't bask in the worship of all the exotic Dalaamese girls.

"Sorry girls, but I have to check on something quite important," Poo said as he headed for Pink Cloud. The first thing Poo noticed was fallen bunny statues. That was not a good sign. Entering the cave, Poo found a large mass of cave where Pink Cloud used to be. "Falc--Fa--Falc...WHAT DID HE DO???" screamed Poo.

I'm scratching my head because, didn't we already do all of this like 150 posts ago? Seems like Poo's out of ideas.

---

Post #638, by Luna

Luna rolled ove n her towel on the sunny beach of the island eagleland, just outside the sm.net hotel. Beside her was her back pack containing all her stuff, including the sound stone with one melody. Suddenly, it hit her. The only melody that hadn't been collected... was the milky well melody!
"I gotta go get it!" She said to herself, and jumped up, and looked over at pogopunk, playing in the sand.
"You wanna come?" Luna asked
"Never! Ya baby eater!" Pogo yelled back in a fit of insanity.

Then I might suggest poor pogo suffers from a lot of fits of insanity.

"...I'll take that as a no..." Luna mumbled to herself and grabbed her backpack. Soon she had teleported to the Mr. Saturn vally, and was staring at a coffee-drinking Mr. Saturn.

So, yeah. After pogo made himself unpleasant several times over, Luna finally gave up and ditched him. Well played, pogo.

"AiEeEeEe! YoU sCaRe Mr. SaTuRn, BoInG!" It screamed at her.
"Uh... sorry!"
"PrObLeM, nO! bEaT bIg SpRoUt YoU wIlL?"

This is a very poor effort at Saturnspeak.

"Right.. yeah... Well, I gotta get going! I have a huge plant to burn to tiny crispies!" Luna grinned at the Mr. Saturn, and ran off into the cave.

I have a feeling she won't be alone by the time she gets there.

"HmMmMmMmMm... StRoNg OnE, sHe!" the Mr. Saturn whispered to itself before going back to the coffee it was drinking.

By the way, you might not get the joke if I don't explain it to you: the "coffee" in Saturn Valley is laced with powerful hallucinogenic drugs.

---

Post #639, by Mog116

"Wait for me!" Mog was right behind Luna, who was about ready to go get the melody.
"Can I come?"

(Luna can answer only.)

Yeah... that didn't last long at all. Mog likely as not won't be the only one to tag along here. I wouldn't even rule out pogopunk scampering back.

---

Post #640, by pogopunk

pogopunk sat there on the beach, just randomly calling people baby-eaters. he was enjoying himself quite well, and gleefully laughed at other's reaction.

If he actually tried this, he would get his ass kicked inside 15 minutes.

However, one person (anonymous..likes to go up to houses and feed other people's babies, maybe to fatten them up) got angry at him and beat pogopunk up.

Haha! That was awesome. 

unconcious, pogopunk mumbled pants and baby-eater while he was in a coma. when he came to, he had turned maniacal, screaming out baby-eater often, and willing to do anyone's bidding.

Turned?

the real him sat in a secluded corner of his mind, hoping for goodness to set him free...

[note: since i'm not posting, i just hope this will add a twist. anyone can do anything with me, i dont care. eventually i'll be back to normal..after i get a couple laughs outta this ]

I would love to know what the hell he was smoking when he wrote this. I think pogopunk's my new favorite poster, at least in Chris's absence.

[This message has been edited by pogopunk (edited 04-25-2000).]

---

Post #641, by Falcon24

Falcon, still in disguise, stomped around the island in a rage. "Unbelievable! There HAS to be a way up there...wherever it is...if only I could find someone to show me where it is!" Suddenly, an unseen force enveloped him. An unfathomable power penetrated his very being.

Amazing how fast an AC gets exactly what he wants, isn't it? 

His mind began to surge, scenes from past, present, and future raced across it. "What..what's this? I can see everything." Falcon saw Darth's group teleporting to Fire Springs. He followed the group, riding the backlash of the teleport to their original destination.

He pulled this trick 200 posts ago to use out of character knowledge in character, and it was just as lame then as it is now.

"The...Giygan Spaceship? Amazing....thank you, Master Lavos. Now lets see, it seems to be...there." Falcon turned and dashed through the underbrush, heading for the Giygan Spaceship. However, he was unaware that it was not Lavos who showed him the location of the Spaceship...

Well, I have to give him credit there: that was a nice end-of-post hook. Though it belongs at the end of a fanfic chapter, not an IF post, seeing as how no other poster can do anything with it.

---

Post #642, by Mani Mani

Back in Twoson...

The group had decided to rest for a while, before they went to try and confront Lavos.

Hey, no rush, he's only eating the planet and getting stronger. Take a vacation! He'll still be there when you're ready. 

Ness and Paula went off on their own somewhere (much to the annoyance of Matt), and Mani decided to visit Burglin Park. She didn't know what the others decided to do.

Nice middle finger to PP/QC there. Maybe Mani Mani was a different person from Tengu Man, but you will never convince me Tengu wasn't behind that.

When she got to the park, the first thing she did was go to the Fresh Egg stand and buy an egg (she'd gotten a share of the money from the fighting they'd done).

To be honest, most IF posters grasp that no one really cares where you got your money. You're an AC, that you have infinite money is assumed, or if you don't, that you'll happily commit theft and/or armed robbery is assumed. 

While waiting for it to hatch into a cute lil' chick, she wandered around, gazing at the various stands that had before only been fantasy to her. She saw a Runaway Dog, but she didn't know it was an enemy.

One of the funniest things in EarthBound is what happens if you use a Chick: You get the message, "Seeing chicks makes you happy."

"Ohh, it's a doggie with glasses! How cute!...wait a minute--OW! He bit me!" She thwacked it with her staff and it ran off whimpering. She felt more experienced.

If you don't believe her, grab the nearest staff, head out into the neighborhood and try it for yourself. Trust me, when you beat a dog over the head with a staff, you will feel distinctly more experienced. 

"Cool! I won a battle all by myself! Okay, okay, so maybe that wasn't the toughest bad guy..." She went into Everdred's house to see if he was there, but he wasn't. She wasn't sure she wanted to meet him anyway.

Fun fact: Everdred is the only human enemy in EarthBound that tries to bite you. So yeah. Probably for the best she didn't encounter him.

As she came out of the house, she spotted Jeff over by one of the stands, looking at some broken items. Trying to act cool and casual, she walked around behind him to his other side before approaching.
"Hey, Jeff." He looked up.
"Oh, hi Mani."
"Buying anything?" He shrugged.
"Most of the items here are pretty weak." He ignored the "Hey!" from the stand owner.
"Oh. I bought a Fresh Egg - I want to hatch a chick."
"Oh, really? Can I see?"

I have my doubts Jeff would be the slightest bit interested in an egg, or a chick. (And I mean that last word in both conceivable ways. Things were different in 1995, but EarthBound was, for the time, fairly unambiguous about the fact Jeff was gay.)

"Sure." She held it out to him and he took it. After inspecting it for a moment, he nodded.
"It looks good. Here you go." As he handed it back to her, her hand (slightly sweaty from nervousness ) slipped and she started to drop it. Jeff caught it.

In point of fact, this annotator has personally proven that an egg can be thrown across a room and successfully caught without breaking it. 

"Careful!" She tried hard to keep from blushing. As he was gently tipping it into her hand from his, he stopped suddenly, looking at it.
"Hey...it's hatching!" Mani exclaimed. Sure enough, the shell cracked open and out popped an adorable yellow chick - in Jeff and Mani's hands. "Aww...it's so cute." Mani looked at Jeff's hand and giggled a little, since it was still touching hers at a tilt.
"Oh." He picked up the chick with his other hand, withdrawing the first one, and put it in Mani's. "I believe this is yours?" They looked at each other for a moment - and then laughed.

(Yes, I know this is a long post, and yes, I know it's probably totally pointless. But I'm just having a little fun, so nya. :P)

Don't worry, Mani. It fits right in, here in the Gathering! And who knows, maybe Chris will give it a read or two and get to thinking.