The Annotated Gathering

24 November 2009

Posts #186-190: 16 April 2000

Post #186, by Pikachu3164

[I can't believe I missed the sand castle contest! I really need to work on my Peanut Cheese Bar addiction!]

In Soviet America, sand castle contest misses you. Except not you, of course. Nobody misses you.

No wait, I didn't mean it, come back :( Your comic relief is vital to keeping this going. Seriously.

Pikachu had completly missed the sand castle competition because early on in the dance, he had run to his room with a full box of Peanut Cheese Bars.

That rendered your OOC comment entirely unnecessary.

Only a few people had bothered talking to him nicely, so he started pigging out upstairs.

Do you think theoretically he's capable of writing a post without pitying himself, or is it kind of an OCD thing with him where demons demand he publicly pity himself at all times or they'll suck out his brains?

[I may as well head over to the Swim Meet and see who wins.]

Post #187, by Gauntlet Wizard

Siris finished his sand castle and rushed over to the pool. "Too bad," he mumbled. "The race already started. Oh well. I'm not too much of a swimmer anyway." With that, he waved at waffle.

I assume waffle is a little preoccupied swimming at the moment.

"Mwahahah! Now's my chance to sabotage the entire gathering!"
"No!"
"Oh fine."
(Sorry, I accidentally let my evil personality, Gauntlet Jackal, get in the way.)

Someone ask Gauntlet whether Gauntlet Jackal is still around. I need to know. (Actually, I kind of think Gauntlet Jackal killed off all the competing personalities and took over.)

Siris didn't care to watch the swim race thingy. He decided to go back and protect his sandcastle from the water.
"Uh oh," Siris said to himself. "Tide's coming in..."
Siris cast a Power Shield to hold the water back. "That'll hold for about an hour until I have to recast it..."

That is not how power shields work.

Post #188, by Chris

And so, when the mysterious referee blew his whistle, the race began. Due to the large amount of water being kicked up, it was difficult to see who was leading.

Never been to a swim meet, have you?

Apparently, the racers were going to be swimming back and forth across the pool many times, so it would be several minutes before a winner was decided upon.

I'm not sure just how long Chris has in mind, but the limit of human endurance for swimming hard is fairly short. Speed swimming, like sprinting, is a very stressful activity.

During this time, Chris went over to the refreshment stand and purchased a bag of chips for him and Juliana to split.

I still don't think a party where you have to buy your snacks is likely to be a very popular party.

During the race, the judges came on over the speakers and announced the winners of the sand-castle contest. Chris and Juliana had won, though they only narrowly edged out Dave and company's castle.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Congrats went around the pool to the two winners, who were rewarded by having dinner the following night free of charge.

And by 'congrats' he means 'general rumbling of why did we waste our time when it was obviously rigged'. Whatever, it all sounded like congratulations to him.

Soon, the racers were beginning the final laps. In moments, the winner would be decided. Everyone was on the edge of their seats, waiting to see the victor emerge from the torrent of water being kicked up during the race. Finally, the fastest swimmer reached the end of the last lap. Climbing up from the pool, it turned out to be...

[This message could very well have been edited by Chris, who is now watching the winner of the swim meet climb out of the water. (edited within the last decade, give or take a few years).]

Like myself, Chris suffers from chronic lack of funny, but he tries his best.

[This message has been edited by Chris (edited 04-16-2000).]

Post #189, by PsycoPyro

((Grr... you people go too fast!!))

Took him a while to switch over from the QC account this time.

Half an hour before the race, I left Jenny's side immediately and started to warm up. I spotted Jenny taking a seat to watch me. She seemed to be in a better mood before.

As always, QC/PP skips about one word in eight. I'm pretty certain he meant to write 'better mood than before'. That or he means to imply QC is now actively trying to hang herself.

The Judged signaled the race and I swam with every strength of my body.

'The Judged'? Sounds like a rejected title for John Grisham's latest 'Thriller'.

I passed a few people and managed to be in first. From the corner of my eye, someone caught up to me. We were tied neck-to-neck.

That's gotta make it hard to swim.

It seemed that we had the same pace, and I couldn't recognize who was swimming beside me.
The announcer announced that I reached the final lap. Still, the person was tied with me. My muscles started to ache and slightly cramp. I saw the the edge of the other pool which would be marked as the finished line.

'The other pool'? Like, this is a hardcore swim meet where you have to jump like dolphins from pool to pool?

I heard Jenny cheering and hollaring for me and I sped right towards the finish, leaving the peson behind. I was running out of breath until I tagged the finish. At first, I heard no uproar, and then...

I will laugh out loud if the next post on this subject starts with some close cousin of, '...and then PP looked up to see (name of poster) already standing triumphantly over him, having finished two minutes ago.' Don't let me down, Gathering posters!

[This message has been edited by PsycoPyro (edited 04-16-2000).]

Post #190, by Mani Mani

Just before the swimming race ended, Mani was still stuck up in her tree, too afraid to try and jump down.

Ha ha ha! Everyone ignored her! Just as I barely dared to hope.

"Heeeeeeeelp!!" she yelled. "Who's stupid idea was this, anyway?!" Just then she spotted Pikachu heading towards the races. "Ohhh, a Pikachu! Hey, could you please help me down? I swear I'm not just trying to be nice! I really like Pokemon!"

When all other ploys for attention fail, locate and latch onto the zero self esteem emo kid.

And yes, Tengu actively recruited these types to the ranks of the Tengulings, as NessJeff's behavior thus far aptly demonstrates.

23 November 2009

Posts #181-185: 16 April 2000

Post #181, by Chris

(Just to let everyone know, it's still nighttime. This is an evening sand castle contest, and such. We'll be getting to the morning events soon.)

Chris has spoken.

Castle construction continued. The various groups were hard at work, because in ten minutes, they would have to stop working and be judged.

Makes sense, since in 15 minutes the tide is going to wipe out your castle. You might not get 10 out of 10 on the Cunning Plan category, I have to be honest with you.

Juliana and Chris continued molding the sand into their sand castle. Soon, it stood several feet high, and had a moat that encircled it and ran down into the ocean. Chris made a drawbridge, while Juliana carved windows out of the tower.

They make such a good team. Don't you agree?

Finally, the time to judge had come. The judges (selected from people hanging around who weren't building castles) walked amongst the castles, looking to see which one they liked best. After a few minutes of delibiration, the head judge stepped forward to announce the desicion.

"The winner is..."

Credit where credit's due: At least he realizes he should let someone else 'win' here. Especially considering there's a fair chance whoever follows up will award it to PSI, anyway.

Post #182, by Luna

Luna decided to partake in the swimming race, since she was a great swimmer, and could swim pretty fast.

As opposed to, 'since she was a great swimmer, but swam kind of slow.'

Or, 'since she was a lousy swimmer, but could swim pretty fast.'

She ran over to get ready for the races, doing stretches and such. She mentally thanked the judges for having the race in the pool instead of in the sea, because jellyfish DESPISE chlorinated water.

Yes, they certainly do. Probably something to do with how it kills them instantly.

You know what I despite? Battery acid.

"I wonder who won the sand castle contest..." She thought to herself.

Luna passes the baton to the next poster.

Post #183, by PsycoPryo

I walk to the beach and find Jenny staring at the ocean aimlessly. She sat on the beach quitely by herself and undisturbed.
I quietly approached her and she dared not to move to my entrance. She continued to stare out into the ocean as I sat next to her.
"Hey um..." I began to say, but she wouldn't turn her head. "Is there anything wrong?"
She quietly shook her head. I didn't bother to question her more or I would annoyed her.

For f---'s sake, kid, slow down, re-read your sentences, fill in the words you keep skipping.

"That's cool. So um, I'm going to sign up for the race at the pool. Did you hear about that?"
Jenny shakes her head.
"I don't know when it's going to be yet but I think I'll win. I was on the school's swim team you know.

The other ACs have 65 Olympic gold medals. Each.

I was wondering if you can come over and watch...?"
"I will." She suddenly replied and I nearly jumped.
"Hey, is there anything wrong? Seriously, tell me."
Jenny's response was....

Post #184, by Chris

During the time that the judges had been contemplating the best sand-castler, the Starmen.net Swim Meet was starting to warm up. The racers in the various heats were out stretching, while several people who were interested in watching were taking places around the edge of the pool.

Since it was taking a fair length of time for the judges to make their choice regarding the sand castles, several of the people down there, including Chris and Juliana, had walked up to the pool to watch. Chris pulled up two chairs next to each other for the two of them to sit in, while Juliana walked over to a drink stand and bought two sodas.

Bought? At a Syndicate party??

Looking around the area, Chris saw waffle getting ready for the race. He and Juliana waved to waffle, who had somehow acquired a bathing suit with a waffle design on it. Chris thought he recognized several other faces, but he wasn't sure, so he continued sipping on his soda.

"So, are you having a good time, Juliana?" Chris asked.

"Yeah, I'm having a lot of fun. This has been a great night." she replied.

I hope!

I wonder how long it took him to settle on this. I've had such a wonderful time together with you, Chris, seemed kind of wordy after typing it out and re-reading it, so he sharply went with the condensed version.

The two of them continued to wait for the results of the sand castle contest, and the start of the swim meet.

Post #185, by Tengu Man/Makron

Tengu! Come on in! We've missed you, man. Inject this thread with a little bit of Tengumania, would you?

The judge, who looked almost just like Darth Maul[this is actually me]

[we know]

walked up to the side of the swim meet, and took out his whistle.

Darth Maul is so freaking cool. You know what Darth Maul dresses up as when he participates in IFs? That's right: Tengu Man.

"Ready... set... GO!!" he blew the whistle and everyone took off...

The judge took a look around the island while the race was commencing, noting that he had missed a lot, but rather not reveal himself to anyone for a while...

(Jack is the judge, but let me reveal him to everyone, so act like "Jack"'s still absent, thank you.)

My lips are sealed, Tengu. With gorilla glue!

So... you want me to Neuralize myself, or what?

Posts #176-180: 16 April 2000

Post #176, by Mani Mani

Mani Mani was one of the most prominent Tengulings, and looking back I'm pretty close to certain 'she' was Tengu Man himself. She claimed a vague semi-girlfriend-of-Tengu status, and her writing style is close to identical to his own. She vanished at the same time he did, never to be seen again.

Mani Mani was out checking her mail (not email, snail mail) when she noticed a strange letter in the mailbox. The return address was simply "Starmen.Net". Curiously she opened it and read.

"Come join the First Annual Starmen.Net Gathering! We've missed you the past couple of days, so here's a little reminder. We've already had an SSB tournament and a dance, but the fun's just started! So hurry and join us!"

There was a little gray button on the side of the letter that said 'Press Me'. As Mani reached to press it, she groaned. She'd missed all that already? And especially a dance? She was disappointed that she'd missed the opportunity to dance with some nice (and possibly cute) gentlemen.

Tengu was good at flirting. Particularly with himself. Never mind...

Well, someone must have been looking out for her to send her that letter. She smiled a little as she pressed the button. Instantly she vanished, and reappeared - right in a palm tree on the Eagleland island.
"ACK! I hate heights!!" she yelled, hanging on to the trunk for dear life. She saw people on the beach laughing and having a good time, as well as building sandcastles. "Ugh...I hate the beach almost as much as heights. Oh well." She tried to figure out how she was going to get down...

i.e., someone is supposed to come and help me down, and thus start a plotline.

Post #177, by Chris

While Juliana started work on the main castle, Chris began carving out a moat. What he thought would be truly interesting is having a moat run from the castle to the ocean.

Good luck with that. Are you aware that filling a moat carved on the beach is a bitch of a task, since the sand just keeps on absorbing the water?

Chris found a pair of small shovels, and gave one to Juliana. He then started digging along, first around the hexagon base of the castle, then starting on towards the moonlit ocean.

After building the moat around the castle, Chris decided to get a bigger shovel to dig the route to the ocean. It was about a distance of twenty feet, but it only took him 20 minutes or so to do.

If you're 20 feet from the ocean and it's late evening/early morning, you have about 45 minutes before the tide puts your whole enterprise underwater.

When he returned from building the drain route, he found Juliana was putting a hose in the main moat, so that there could be water constantly flowing through it.

Clever. I assume she has one of MacGyver's generators handy, or else has somehow run plumbing all the way down from the hotel.

"Great idea, Juliana. Now, let's see about finishing the castle."

Meanwhile, others were also working on their own castles, trying to defeat the two administrators...

Did I mention Chris is an administrator? ...I'm sure I did.

Post #178, by Gauntlet Wizard

"A sandcastle contest! I can't miss this after I've already missed the Smash Brothers tournament!" Siris exclaimed. He rushed toward the beach, where everyone was hard at work building sandcastles. "I'll show them a sandcastle!"

The Siris saw the notice. "No PSI powers allowed," Siris read. "I wonder if that includes magic..."

Hey, doesn't PSI322 wielding a shovel count as PSI power?

Two-point-four-three minutes later,

I don't know what was with him and the number 2.43.

Siris was building his castle (without using magic ).

I've participated in various role-playing forums, and my own opinion, and I don't really care if the whole world disagrees with me, is that 95% of the time the use of magic by ACs is the realm of the lazy.

"The dodecahedrons all around should impress all of 'em!" Siris laughed. He glanced at Chris's and Juliana's castle. "Oh geez," he muttered. "I'm gonna have to pick up the pace if I want any chance..."

At Juliana?

By the way, where's Luna been?

Post #179, by Little Yoshi

Tim, after being healed, thought of what to do.
"Well, I could build a sand castle, judge the sand castles, practice my sword skill, blast monsters, swim-wait, no I couldn't, no good swiminng gear, or I could um, do something else.
Tim decided to hop in his boat in search of monsters, in case any would be out.

*shrug*

Post #180, by Earth Bound Ranger

Mark saw everyone making sand castles, but was too tired and scared out of his mind to make one. After the jump into the insanely fast moving coaster car, Mark was still a little shaken up. So instead, Mark just lounged in the sun with his sword by his side (my most prized posession).

Compensating for something?

He was getting himself ready for the swimming competition and mabey for judging the sand castles (As he didn't take part in them).

What makes people who don't build sand castles think they're qualified to judge them?

Mark really enjoyed swimming (Can hold his breath for 5 minutes under water),

File that under 'mildly useful skills that are not likely to impress any women out of their pants'.

and couldn't wait to have some chalenge from someone who could actually swim just as good, or better than him.

SPOILERS: All competitions between ACs are, by rule, unwinnable and therefore pointless, as every AC is the best in the world at anything the author wants.

But for now he just enjoyed basking in the sun. It was then that he saw it. It was...

Not a bad end-of-post hook, actually. Given which people are active in the story right now and their relative likelihood of picking up this hook, I'd handicap about an 80-85% chance it turns out to be something silly (15-20% chance it's something serious, at least in the sense that it will result in violence and/or plot movement).

Posts #171-175: 16 April 2000

Post #171, by PSI322

Juliana's eyes opened wide as she watched the festivities going on all around her.

It's magical!

"Ooh, I wanna make a sand castle too!" she said excitedly. "I think I'm gonna enter the sand castle contest." She started to walk over to where the sign-up list was.

Chris followed her. "Can I help too?" he wondered.

"Sure, why not?" Juliana replied. "I'll go sign us both up. Can you go find a good place for us to build our castle?"

"All right, I will. Sounds like a plan," Chris answered, and he went off down the beach, looking for an empty spot on the sand to lay the foundations for the castle which was sure to win first prize in the contest.

Because the Syndicate is running it. They're actually just going to form a small anthill-sized mound of sand and call it a day so they can go frolic in the waves or whatever; the Syndicate will praise their creation's postmodern evocativeness and award it first prize. And there's nothing you can do about it.

Post #172, by Gauntlet Wizard

Siris, extremely confused, tried to make sense out of everything. But to no avail. People were running all over the place and nothing made a whole lot of sense. "Oh well," Siris muttered to himself. "It is Starmen.net after all.

You have an excellent point there. Some things never change.

Siris decided to teleport again (I can do that, you know ) and instantly found Mac...

"I have no idea what's going on," Siris told him.
"Neither do I..."

Aw, buck up, old bean. Hang in there. You'll earn the art of not caring what's going on and doing whatever you feel like before long.

Post #173, by PSI322

You can tell PSI was in the zone. This is 20 minutes after her last post, 10 minutes after Gauntlet's. So she was cruising the net and as soon as she saw Gauntlet's post go up, started working on this one.

You think that's bad, wait until later, when PSI, Falcon, diospadre, Luna and myself were all writing up a half-dozen posts in advance and planning out when and in what order to post them (rapid-fire, so Tengu couldn't interfere). It's a wonder we found time to go outdoors once a month or so.

Moments later, Juliana had finished signing up for the sand castle contest and began looking for Chris. She walked down the beach, meandering along between everyone else's castles. Finally, she spotted Chris, who was already hard at work in the sand. She made her way over to where he was working. "So this is where we're gonna make the first prize castle, eh?" she said jokingly.

Suuuuuuure. Jokingly.

Chris glanced up. "Oh, hi Juliana," he said. "Yeah, I think so." He laughed, and so did she. "So, what kind of castle do you want this to be? I was thinking of putting a moat all around it, and making a few towers here and there..."

Juliana sat down on a beach blanket she'd brought with her; there was NO way she was going to sit down on the wet sand in her burgundy dress.

The hell? You're still wearing your burgundy dress? According to Chris' post, you're now dressed 'appropriately for the occasion'. Which presumably means an especially sexy swimsuit.

Makes me wonder if she missed that, or read it, made a face and ignored it. It's pretty much even money either way.

"How about a tower at each corner?" she suggested. "I think that'd look nice, don't you?"

Chris thought for a moment. "You're right, it would. What shape do you want it to be in? A square? A triangle? A hexagon?"

"Ooh, a hexagon would be different. Very creative, Chris. Let's do one of those," Juliana said. And so, they began to construct their sand castle...

Post #174, by SuperSpeedy/Mankey Boy

Dave saw the sand-castle castle contest sign-up sheet.

As opposed to... the sand-castle ghetto tenement contest? I guess?

Poryhedron was following David around. Dave looked for waffle, but couldn't see him. Then he asked Poryhedron if he wanted to help.

PSI is asleep at the switch. SS/MM is still rocking his two AC's. You can bet your ass Tengu Man will not miss this. He was always trying to figure out ways to introduce AC's by the carload (makes it easier to control a story, as you can weasel one into each of the various plotlines going on.)

"I can't," responded Poryhedron. "The rules say: 'No use of Psycic powers except for keeping your sand castle from crumbling from the tide. No psychic type pokémon allowed.'"

I'm pretty sure the list of rules, if one exists, would say no pokemon allowed, period.

"You're no psychic type, foo!" said David, doing his best Mr. T impression.
"Good point," said Poryhedron. "Let's go!"

He's right. Porygon is, for whatever reason, a plain ol' Normal type. At least in RBY, which is all that existed in 2000, I think.

David signed up Poryhedron and himself.
He also reserved space on the team for Pikachu and waffle, if they wanted to join the team and help.

Post #175, by waffle

Waffle walked over to where all the fun was going on. He noticed a pool where races were being held.
"Oo! I should be good at this! I am on a swim team,afterall!"

He signed up for a race and went over to SuperSpeedy,who happened to be looking for him.

I think I mentioned this once, but this was the height of waffle's strategy of dominating the SM.Net forums by cranking out posts like a Japenese car factory, none of them longer than two lines. Presumably he was keeping it short here so he could race back to General Discussion and fire off a new post on whatever threads had been posted on since his last appearance on them.

Posts #166-170: 16 April 2000

Post #166, by michael_cayer

In Canada, michael_cayer was VERY late for the party.
"This machine BETTER work! I spent all night on this!"
He reached for the lever, flipped it, then placed his hand on the Teleportation Square.
FLASH!
Instantly michael_cayer was converted to energy, fired into a satellite in space, and shot down again over Eagleland Island.
FLASH!
"It worked! But I'm really late... what did I miss?"

Question: What would happen if, a split-split-second after he was converted to energy but before he got beamed back down and reconverted, the satellite got blown up? Wouldn't that suck?

Post #167, by Chris

Having seen the crisis below, Chris stopped the ferris wheel and quickly unloaded everyone. He ran over to where the roller coaster jumpers had landed and checked to see that they were okay. Once he determined that all they had suffered were bruises, he ordered everyone out of the park until the safety of the park could be tested. Thus, everyone left the park and started back to the hotel, in search of another party.

I AM CHRIS AND YOU WILL OBEY OR ELSE

I'm not sure he gets how IF works. That or he's banking on his new awsuma admin powa to cower everyone in fear of disobeying for him. Shows you how different things were in 2000; you can imagine how well that would go over now.

Chris and Juliana walked down to the beach, where they saw that a whole crazy party was going on.

Not sure they're going to see eye-to-eye on this whole 'should we or shouldn't we segregate ourselves off into our own little world' thing. Little strongarming here. Before he might have written, 'Chris asked Juliana, 'hey, you want to go down to the beach?' Juliana said...' but now? F--- it, drag her along.

Seeing as how they weren't dressed for swimming, they parted ways for a while to change into something more appropriate for the occasion.

And for Chris to... you know what? Nevermind. I don't have the stomach to finish that joke. Mostly because it probably isn't a joke.

In a large, Olympic-size swimming pool, races were being held.

That reminds me: I vacationed at the Outer Banks in North Carolina, which is fantasically awesome, a couple years ago with a couple different friends. One was a family with five kids, ages 17 down to 5, who pretty much never vacationed; the kids had never seen the ocean before.

While the rest of us were having a swell time playing in the surf, their kids wanted no part of it. They spent most of their days swimming in the beach house swimming pool, not a hundred yards from the shore.

Why the hell would anyone swim in a pool when the ocean is right there?

At the beach, several different sand castles were under construction, while even more craziness was going on in the waters of the ocean. People were running, yelling, splashing, jumping, and just generally having a good time. The two new arrivees quickly joined in on the fun...

[This message has been edited by Chris (edited 04-16-2000).]

Post #168, by Little Yoshi

After thanking his rescuers profusley for the rescue, Tim walked off to his boat, and invited Mark and Sir to come and get healed, if they needed it. He then decided he would not go back to that amusment park till it was officaly saftey tested.

Note the conspicuous absence of any reference to Chris. I bet that was an awkward dinner that evening.

Post #169, by Queen Catherine

I yawned tiredly as it was getting late.

Over-emphasis. Either 'I yawned' or 'it was getting late' will do.

Glancing at my watch, it was time for my daily exercises in which I did for hour, in hoping to join the Cross-Country Team. However, I decided to put it aside today and work on it tomorrow.
I left from dance floor ((Maybe with Drew following me, it's up to him)) and overheard people talking about a roller coaster incident. Hearing that everyone turn out ok but with few minor injuries, I decided to talk a walk down on the beach. I watched the others play around...
((Drew, feel free to take over if you want to))

Is there ever any point to QC/PP's posts? We don't need a summary of events here. We just read them for ourselves.

Post #170, by NessJeff

Drew looks at his tourney signup.
"EB... Me. PQ... Me. Oh this sucks!!!! I'll just bring the signup sheet to the beach and the amusement Park. And anyone who signs up for the Paula's Quest tourney gets a free copy!"

To be honest, I can't remember whether Paula's Quest was a real game Tengu was making or not. I think it was one of those RPGMaker deals where Tengu always talked about this awesome game he was making, but never actually did anything that could be construed as making it. NessJeff just would not shut up about it.

Drew runs to the exact spot between the beach and amusement park and yells into a 10-megaphone strength megaphone, "Report to the middle of the island for an EB and Paula's Quest Tourney! Anyone who signs up gets a free copy of Paula's Quest!"

By the way, how exactly do you have an EarthBound tournament?

Drew waits for people to come. The people who come are...
(Anyone can enter, but I am more powerful at both. EB: Paula with 6777+HP. PQ: I fricking made it!)

Oh. Maybe it was something NessJeff slapped together in a day in RPG Maker, then.

Somehow, I suspect a Paula with 6777+ HP would be disqualified from an EarthBound tournament, even if we figured out some way to have one. The maximum obtainable HP in EarthBound without active hacking is around 3700 (which you get by jacking Vitality to 255 before leveling up to L2.)

22 November 2009

Posts #161-165: 15 April 2000

Post #161, by Little Yoshi

(Gee that dance ended quickly)

I think I speak on behalf of humanity when I say: Not quickly enough.

Tim sped up to the amusment park in his boat, and found the four friends there.

This is called 'using out-of-character knowledge in-character', and it's bad form. Tim feels slighted at having been excluded from the amusement park expedition, so he has his AC join it anyway, ignoring the fact that the AC Tim has no knowledge of it whatsoever and there's no possible way he could have knowledge of it. Chris made it up as a way to try and pull himself and PSI away from the group. Tim's having none of that. I doubt other AC's will, either.

"Hey guys...and girls," Tim said.

LOL. That just slays me. '...and girls.' Picture him raising his eyebrows as he says that part. Oh-so-smooth.

He parked the boat, and got off to meet them, but as soon as he reached the small group, they ran off to the farris wheel.

At least he gets the idea. Not that he cares.

Tim folowed them, and just as that little line gate that can close and open closed, reached the farris wheel.He pushed it open, and just before he got on a car, the ride started. He decided that just in case they couldn't, he would stop the ferris wheel for Luna, Waffle, Juliana, and Chris. He told that he would stop the ride when they wanted to stop it, but they simply replied that they could stop the ride for themselves in their cars.

You have to admit, for someone so keenly aware he's being actively excluded, he's got an impressively never-say-die attitude.

So, Tim went over to the roller coaster, seeing that it had no loops, he got on and pushed the control switch to slow, just in case it was too violent. It started, and he realized it was made to be fast, and that he had done something wrong.
At 10 feet in the air, the cars stopped just before making a climb, and just after making a drop.He realized that the saftey bar was too strong to be moved, so he was trapped.
"Help!" Tim cried.

Wow. Now that's how you write a cry for attention.

It would be funny if everyone ignored him until he finally gave up and extricated himself, but there's always one guy that goes over to say hi. Attention-starved brothers got each other's backs.

Post #162, by Gauntlet Wizard

Siris, the Gauntlet Wizard (BTW, that's not my real name)

Hahaha. Yeah, we know.

suddenly woke up in his bed and realized he was horrendously late for the Starmen.net party. "I wonder if Mac left already..." he said to himself. "Well, I'll go check before I leave for Eagleland..."
After the two-point-four-three minute walk, Siris arrived at Mac's house. Nobody was home, but a note was on the door. "Went to Starmen.net party. Arrived on page three. Back in a week." Siris used his teleport spell...

Wait... who was 'Mac', again? I'm drawing a blank here.

After the two-point-four-three minute teleport, Siris arrived in Eagleland and began furiously searching for waffle or Mac...

Eagleland Island, technically.

Gauntlet Wizard (who shortly after this switched his name to simply 'Gauntlet') is still around, and like Falcon24, hates reminders that he too was once an immature teenager, and is mildly pissed off by the existence of this site. Glad I could help!

Post #163, by Starman Kyle

Uh, could someone pleaz bring me up-to-date on the events that have occured in this BIG topic?

:razz:

For f---'s sake, READ IT YOURSELF, ASSHOLE.

Some people really were (are) this selfish and stupid. Should have relieved him of his posting privileges, at least on this particular thread, right then and there.

Post #164, by Earth Bound Ranger

Mark had been laying in bed when the words "help, help" reached his ears.

See? Attention-starved brothers, etc.

He looked out his window, and saw someone on the roller coaster and started thinking "wuss". It was only then that Mark noticed something very odd. He was trying to push the safty bar away from himself, and by the way it looked, he was failing. Grabbing his sword, Mark rushed out the door to the roaler coaster. He took one look at the controls, and not knowing anything about mechanics, pressed some random buttons. Mark finally mad the bar off, but there was another problem with it. The roler coaster was going way the heck too fast. Mark prepared to do the only thing he could do, yell for help and then try to save the person. Prepared for a leap, Mark waited for the roler coaster to swing its way around before making a blind leap towords the roler coaster cart. What kind of ground awaited Mark apon landing, only god knew...

I'm kind of scratching my head here. So is he trying to get on the roller coaster, or off it? I can't make heads or tails of the second half of this post. The smart play is shrug, forget about it and move on.

Post #165, by SirMontyG

~meanwhile on the other part of the island~

"Gruhhh?" Sir muttered uninteligably while slowly getting to his feet. "Did I miss something? It seems as though I've missed a couple hundred posts or something..."

Time on Eagleland Island is tracked by 'posts', not your sissy minutes or days.

With that, and a giant *WHAM*, a newspaper appeared out of nowhere, smacked Sir right in the head, and descibed the previous events of EagleLand Island. Sir skims it over, "Aww, I missed a 32 player version of SSB, free pikachu bashing, and to top it off a dance! Well, at least I can save those people on the roller coster.."

Sir, grabbing his saxophone, runs to the park. As soon as he gets there, he finds one person on the front car at breakneck speed and one standing along the side, then jumping on!

Good to know at least Sir read EBR's post as getting on the roller coaster. Let's just run with that.

"Whoever that guy is, he's got some good timing.." Sir looks a few hundred feet ahead to see some grave news. "Looks like the syndicate hasn't quite finished the track yet.."

This is the Syndicate's way of getting rid of angsty people.

Sir notices the lever on the loading platform, but realizes they don't have enough time. "Hey! Use this!" Flinging his saxophone up to the runaway cart. Mark understood what this odd guy was up to, and quickly pried open the safety bars.

With a saxophone? Really? Ever heard of a crowbar? Or hell, this is an IF; how about the Jaws of goddamned Life? Too conventional. IF is funny precisely because people do things like pry thick metal bars off with saxophones.

"hey, JUMP!!" Cried Mark, and both did just in time, falling relitivly close to the ground, but rolling for quite a while. All three look up to see the roller cars jump the tracks and fly into the ocean. "I'd complain to the manager, if I were you two" Sir said, trying to make up a good anticlimatic quip..

Sorry, but the manager is currently tied up being relentlessly romanced by the new admin. (Did I mention he's an admin?)

And hey, at least Sir tried. He really did.

21 November 2009

Posts #156-160: 15 April 2000

Post #156, by Chris

Once more, Chris and Juliana took their place out on the dance floor with everyone else.
As the themes from each town played, intermixed with the Sound Stone melody, the various couples danced around the room. Even the people who hadn't dance all night managed to find someway to enjoy the final dance.

You can tell Chris is nervous because his grammers is breaking down. 'hadn't dance', 'someway', etc. And I don't know what the point to that final throwaway line is; does he think the girl-less boys will feel better now? He's trying to be gracious in victory?

Finally, after all the music was finished, everyone clapped, and sat down again. The DJ said a few little good-bye messages. Then...

Yes, good, let's all move on now.

Post #157, by NessJeff

"Yes!"

Yes! YES! I don't care what your conditions are! I'm getting attention from a girl!!!

(Thank god for evenly divisible numbers!)

...what?

"Now, what's your opinion, Mark..."
Meanwhile...
and
Mark Said...

...it's like he set up a multiple choice to help himself decide which way to end his post, but couldn't decide and just tossed all three in there. Too excited and hyper to think straight, probably.

Post #158, by PSI322

The dance was over. "What's everyone doing now?" Juliana wondered aloud.

"I don't know," Chris replied. "People will probably find someplace else to party. You know how these Starmen.Net people are, Juliana."

Oh, ho, ho, you have no idea. Some of the stories I've heard from the conventions the last few years...

Juliana laughed. "I know, I know. It's true. I bet there'll be a party on the beach, or something. It's pretty cold out there, though, so I'm not sure what'll happen."

No, it isn't. You're near the equator and it's July or August, according to the timeframe you set up yourself. Even at 3:00 it's about 95 degrees out and muggy as hell.

The two of them walked over to waffle and Luna, who had been dancing as well. "So, what are you guys doing now?" Chris asked. "We're wondering if any partying is going on now, or anything like that."

Wait, aren't you two the alleged Syndicate members?

Post #159, by NessJeff

Drew takes the DJ megaphone and says, "Hey! I rigged up a wireless SNES and 2 Huge GBCs which are hacked so anyone with a Paula's Quest(My home made game!) cart or their EB cart can participate in a tourney! Sign up on the wall!"

That's quite a hack. An SNES cart is about the same size as a GBC.

The People who signed up for each game were...

Power to The People! Down with the Man!

Post #160, by Chris

"You know, I'm not supposed to tell you this until tomorrow, but the Syndicate is building a small amusmant park behind the main hotel. We could go visit it and hang out there for a while." Chris said.

Um... glad you remembered you're supposed to be the boss here, but Juliana ranks higher in the Syndicate than you do, and you're confiding Syndicate activities to her that she doesn't know about? How does that work?

"Sounds like a great idea." Waffle replied.
"Let's go!" Juliana and Luna said at the same time.
So, Chris led the way to the amusamant park.

Yikes. That's the second different butchering of 'amusement' Chris has committed in a few lines.

When they arrived, they saw that there was already a ferris wheel and a simple roller coaster built, with a log flume set to open tomorrow. The four arrived at the park, and...

And at post #160, the Gathering finally breaks free of the beach/hotel area.

18 November 2009

Posts #151-155: 15 April 2000

Post #151, by PSI322

Juliana (PSI322)

I think everyone has been fairly consistently calling your AC 'Juliana' or at least everyone knows PSI322 = Juliana.

took a deep breath as she realized how hot it was in the room where the dancing was taking place. "Goodness, it's stifling in here!" she said, starting to stand. She looked at Chris. "I'm just going to take a little walk outside, on the beach," she explained, tugging at her necklace with one hand. "I need some fresh air and some time to think, and stuff."

Remember when I called Mark's 'walking on the beach' move the PSI322 gambit? Yeah. She did this all the time. It was usually her go-to way of breaking out of situations that had become a little stale (or, we'll note later, uncomfortable).

Chris nodded. "Take care of yourself," he said before taking another sip of punch. "Don't stay out too long, Juliana. It's cold out there, I bet."

Juliana nodded. "I won't. It'll just be a little while." She smiled and left the dance hall, wondering if it was clear and calm or stormy outside on the beach...

Basically PSI is announcing, 'I want to retain the option of participating in other things going on with other people in this story, not create a separate Chris-and-Juliana arc.' This form of communication becomes secondhand for any IF veteran. Chris was actually not an IF veteran, and I can only imagine he read it differently and panicked, thinking 'she's trying to ditch me!' ...at least, that's what I would have done when I was 15.

Post #152, by Chris

While he waited for Juliana to return from her walk, Chris decided to start shutting down things. He told the kitchen that no more peanut cheese bars would be needed; they had enough to get them through the rest of the dance.

I have to disagree. When it comes right down to it, there is no such thing as too many peanut cheese bars.

He started cleaning up some of the empty food trays. He arranged for the final dance to be played in about 10 minutes. Then, he sat down at his table, and watched the other dancers enjoying himself. He reflected on how much he loved the site, and more than that, the people there.

Hint hint.

Soon, people began getting ready for the final number...

All in all, I have to hand Chris a 'well played' certificate here. He coolly resisted the impulse to freak out, and it's not like he thought it over for a while first; this was 9 minutes behind PSI's post.

[This message has been edited by Chris (edited 04-15-2000).]

Post #153, by PsycoPyro

I perk up and approach the snack bar. I see my friend Jenny and two guys with her.
"What in the heck?!" I said to myself with exclaimation.

What? Your 'friend' can't handle two guys without your assistance?

I shook my head. Already Jenny was becoming popular with the people of SM.Net! It took me by a blow. Some guys looked at my expression until I overheard someone whispered, "Matt's jealous..."
I shook my head and suddenly remembered a girl that I had left back in MD. It was weeks since I saw her shinning face that could tame a psyco like me. I wanted so desparately t see her and feel her soft kisses again. It made me want to use QC's laptop, sign on AOL and hope my gf was on. QC (Jenny) and I were never made for each other. Plus if we did start a relationship, it wouldn't have worked out or lasted because my best friend was her EX and rival. If I ever did go out with Jen, it would mean that I would loose my best friend.

ROFL @ the exposition here. 'No, really, it's cool, you guys can have her!' I'm now pretty much convinced QC and PP are the same person.

Also, I wonder whether PSI's going to step in with a Romance Rule Warning. I'll save the explanation of the Romance Rule until someone trips over it, which I'm certain someone will before long.

I continued to watch what Jenny had planned to do. This was surely going to be interesting to she how she could handle two guys. I was eager to hear of what she was going to say and decide...

OK! Now to switch to the Queen Catherine account...

Post #154, by PSI322

(Go easy on anything that could violate the romance rule here. I guess it's all right that you mentioned the kisses and what not, just don't have any kissing going on at this dance. Just telling everyone.)

Hahaha! I swear, I did not read ahead before posting above. PSI (and guruzeth, when he was around) could be relied upon to strike down all Romance Rule infractions with extreme prejudice.

Cliff's Notes on the Romance Rule: After Tengu Man basically reached third base with Paula in an elaborate post (or series of posts; can't remember clearly anymore) on, I believe, a story called 'If Giygus[sic] Won', the Powers That Be (which I think at that time may have solely been guruzeth; can't remember if PSI322 was a mod yet) very quickly decided to enact and strictly enforce the Romance Rule: slow dancing or hugging was about as far as you were allowed to go. Kissing was a definite no-no.

...I admit, it seemed to make more sense at the time than it does now.

Juliana took one step outside, into the darkness, and caught her breath quickly. She was amazed at how chilly it was on the beach. Shivering a bit in her sleeveless dress, Juliana crossed her arms and walked back into the dance hall, where the DJ was announcing that the last dance was about to take place. The song was a sort of medley of all the best music from EarthBound; the main part centered around the Sound Stone theme, with music from each town and other places thrown in for good measure. Juliana looked around and spotted Chris all by himself. She walked over to him slowly.

"It's the last dance, isn't it?" she said. Chris nodded. "Wanna go for it?"

"Sure," Chris said with a smile as he led her out onto the dance floor...

OK, well, I don't really know what the point to that was.

Post #155, by Queen Catherine

((Gee Matt, thanx for adding more pressure here . It sounds like the world must pause until I make a descion for it to resume.))

No, not really. "Matt's" post actually didn't advance plot in the slightest. Two AC's must pause until you make a decision, or until they get bored and give up, whichever comes first.

I looked at Mark and back at Drew. Bitting my lower lip, I didn't know what to do at that moment. I hated hurting people that don't deserve to be harmed and leaving them to hang.

Blah, blah, blah, get to the point.

Until then, I heard the DJ call out that the dance would end within thirty minutes. I was then relieved and easily came up with a plan.
"How about this," I began to say nervously, "I'll dance with Drew for a little while longer around fifteen minutes and then I'll dance with you (Mark). Will that be fine? That way, every can be... happy...?"

Actually, that tends to leave everybody agreeing but pissed off, because they have to share. Just like when they were six and they had to share the Tonka truck with their brother. Grown men everywhere act exactly the same way about women.

((It's all up to you guys to agree or not...))

Posts #146-150: 15 April 2000

Post #146, by Mog116

The thousandth reply in the IFS! WHOOOHHOOOO!

This guy is fond of content-free posts.

He means it was post #1000 in the IF forum as a whole. Which it wasn't really, since we pruned dead topics from it regularly. But hey, an excuse to pump up my post count!

Post #147, by Earth Bound Ranger

The hour had gone by very slowly for Mark, who was still sitting on the beach.

Have you noticed time always seems to go more slowly for you? I've noticed time moves more slowly while I'm reading your posts.

I should talk, though; it won't be that long before I'm right in there with Chris and Falcon24 and the rest writing soul-twisting nine-paragraph posts.

After the fireworks display was over, Mark sat back down in the sand to think a while. While thinking, Mark remembered the dance, and ran back up to the dance hall. Once inside, He went to the snack bar to attack the penut cheese bars. He ate about 5 of them, and then looked around for someone to dance with. Unfortuatly, most all, if not all the girls were either taken, or being taken at that moment. The only thing left was to ask for a cut in. So Mark went up to Jenny and Drew and asked if I may cut in (All gentalmanly like). Her response was...

All right! A guy willing to do something that takes some stones!

Post #148, by waffle

Waffle slowly smiled. He was relieved that Luna said yes.

You don't say.

Now he actually had someone to dance with. A new song started and they went out on the floor...

Post #149, by Chris

"30 minutes until the end of the dance," the DJ announced.

Give Chris credit for finally realizing it's time to end this thing. Plus what else is there for him to do with Juliana? The dance thing's been conquered; gotta move on to the next mission.

Everyone seemed to be having a good time. After having dance through several songs, Chris and Juliana walked over to the snack table to try the peanut cheese bars that everyone was wolfing down. Then, they each filled a cup of punch and sat down at one of the side tables to watch the others dance.

I have more patience than most for this kind of thing, but the total lack of anything resembling story development is beginning to frustrate me.

Post #150, by NessJeff

Drew is thinking about what Mark said.
"God, I hope Jenny keeps dancing with me. She's the first girl I've ever danced with!"

We already covered this topic. Not a great idea. But then, it's probably not unusual when you're 11.

Drew took a deep breath and waited for Jenny's response to Mark's offer...

This may be the feeblest attempt to keep your girl in the history of mankind.

[This message has been edited by NessJeff (edited 04-15-2000).]

Posts #141-145: 15 April 2000

Post #141, by Mog116

(Matt, I TOLD YOU THE TIME!!!!)

Pshaw. Like Matt can be bothered to read other people's posts.

This was sometimes an issue on IF, Person B getting offended when it's obvious Person A, who Person B is trying to write a story arc with, isn't reading his posts. (Usually Person A is your average bad poster who doesn't read anybody's posts.) I'd suggest you ignore the kid and find yourself a new story arc, but you know how a lot of people find complaining more fulfilling.

Mog thumped the Snack table. He didn't want to dance. Mog walked outside and saw Tim putting sheilds up on his boat.

The shields are inherent. Haven't you ever seen Star Wars?

Mog walked down the beach. He saw a Kralen swimming around. Mog pulled his Hover board out of his Hover board and chased after it. *POP* The Kralen Hit Mog in the head. Mog flew around the Kralen. Kralen flung around and knocked Mog's Hover board away. Mog lost himself. He turned red and hovered in the air.

Since Mog can fly/hover, I assume the hover board was only there to make him look even cooler than he already did, if that's possible.

"Moogle Magic White!" Mog flew straight through the Kralen, under the water and killed about 87 kralens by shooting beams of Holy light at them.

It might have been 88. It was hard to keep proper count amid all the excitement and Holy light and all that.

He flew back around and landed on the beach, not being able to remember any of the fight.

Post #142, by Little Yoshi

(I'm not helping out with fireworks, I'm repairing my ship)

Things are starting to get snippy. This is potentially a fun development.

"Mog, are you okay?!" Tim asked.
"Huh?" Mog asked, then looked himself over.
"You just turned red then white, then fell on the beach," Tim explained.
"Yeah, I'm fine," Mog replied.
"I'm gonna just peek inside the dance room to see what's happening, then I'll be back,"Tim said.

As you can see, Tim, in a gathering full of godlike AC avatars, protection from monsters is wholly superfluous.

Post #143, by NessJeff

Drew is still dancing with Jenny. The Legend of Zelda song ends.
"Play Paula's theme!!!"
"Okay, but let someone else choose the music next!"
"Ahh, who cares, I'll just give you a play list."
Playlist says(In this order)
Moomba #5(Final Fantasy version of Mambo #5(The real song sucks)

Then why in the six purple hells would you make a Final Fantasy version of it?

Shadow's theme

Shadow's Theme? Don't get me wrong, I like Shadow's Theme, but who the hell would want to play it at a dance?

Schala's theme

See above.

Paula's theme

See above. Etc. It applies to everything on this list.

Rydia's theme
Cid's theme(All 9 of 'em(Cid in Chocobo's Dungeon/Racing)
Sound Stone theme
Zelda's theme(LOZOT)
Umi's singing of the sound stone theme(It's on file here somewhere...(SM.Net)
"Auuuuuuugghhhhhh! Fine! I'll play all your songs!"
"Good. I'll pay you $20 later..."

Sure! Thanks! I'll play your songs later.

Meanwhile...

Post #144, by Mog116

Mog was still bored.

Yeah. We all are. But for the number of posters that keep cranking out posts, I daresay that the Gathering was at this point officially in danger of dying off, thanks partially to the disappearance of four of the better posters--PSI322, Chris, Luna, waffle--on account of they're dancing with each other and none of them wants to be next to post. And I assume Tengu man was busy with some other thread at this time, since none of his Tengulings have shown up to prepare his grand (always bloody) entrance.

Violence and or/moving the story away from the beach/hotel where it's been taking place so far is going to be coming very soon, lest the thread die. It's a classic hallmark of a dying IF thread when it's being kept going by only three or so mediocre posters.

Not knowing what to do, Mog went back to The party.

What is it with this guy and capitalizing 'the' for no apparent reason?

He pulled out his Gameboy and put his very bad Game he made himself in, Mooglebound. "Oap, there it is, You're gonna die! Oh..." Mog lost at his own game extrordinarilly fast. He threw his Game boy in his duffel bag, then walked over to the Snack table. He ate 43 Peanut Cheese Bars, then sat back down.

The counts of snacks eaten remind me of the newspapers in SimCity 2000, where an RNG would spit out random absurd lines in articles like 'Pizza Delivery takes 2,385 hours' and '413 people were killed in a gang shooting'.

Post #145, by Luna

Luna looked up at waffle, blushing slightly. "S..Sure, I'll dance... It's better than sitting here all night doing nothing except watching OTHER people dance.."

I guess Luna was still relatively new, very young, and not quite the Uncontested Alpha Female she would soon enough become. Anyway, this is not helping move the plot somewhere, now that the three girls are accounted for and everyone else has long since left behind the dance theme.

Posts #136-140: 15 April 2000

Post #136, by Earth Bound Ranger

Mark was wandering around the dance floor aimlessly. He was not shy in any way, but all the women were taken already.

Suuuuuuuure.

Dancing not being his strong suit, Mark walked outside just to walk along the beach in silent thought.

The PSI322 gambit.

He paced all the way up the beach, then started the way back. Once he got back, he sat on the beach, thinking of all the fun he had and would have, and the trouble he was going to get in when he had to go back. Then he forgot about the trouble and remembered the life he lived back in Idaho. Then he wiped that place from his mind and sat in the sand silently...

This guy had real issues with Idaho. I think we'd better keep him there for the good of the rest of society.

Being serious for a moment, I would guess this kid thoroughly hated his parents/school/life.

Post #137, by Little Yoshi

Tim continued blasting monsters, until he finaly met another kralen.
"Oh shoot!" Tim shouted, remembering the only way he could beat these earlier were with Pikachu's attacks. So he started shooting at different body parts, not getting any effect. Some people at the dance noticed the kralen, but figured that Tim could handle it.
"Okay, gotta have a weapon in here, gotta have a weapon in here..." Tim said, rummaging through his storage compartment.

Wait a second, Tim. Aren't you trying to stop this thing from going into violence? Or did you get bored and change your mind?

Then, the kralen got a SMAAAAAASH! attack on the boat. It remained in tact, but had taken serious shield damage.

Of course the boat has energy shields.

What could Tim do now? He helplessly checked his storage compartment again, and suddenly noticed something that wasn't there before. He withdrew the Masamune from its sheath, and leapt into the air.

Oh god.

The kralen dodged and struck the boat. Tim tried again, but was counter-attacked with a vicous bite. Wounded, he knew all he could do was try again. Again, it dodged. Suddenly, an apparation appeared in front of Tim. It was Frog, who preformed Leap Slash on thin air.

Of course! Tim learned Leap Slash!
The apparation vanished, and Tim's boat was struck again.
"Warning! Shield is down! Warning! Shield is down! The boat and passengers can now take dmage! Warning!" Tim's computer shouted.
Tim executed Leap Slash, and succesfuly defeated the kralen.
"Time to regenerate the shield!" Tim said, speeding off to the dock.

.....
..........
What the f--- was that all about?

Post #138, by Mog116

(I fixed my old post)

(Thanks for wasting precious internet bits)

Post #139, by PsycoPyro

I go back to the hotel and asked someone the time there.
"It's 7:35 PM." The clerk behind the check-in desk replied.
"Kay-o!" I said and hurried to my hotel room.
I started to straighten my up up a little and I grabbed my red duffle bag. Then, I ran out of the hotel and went to the beach. I prepared a few big fireworks and Bottle rockets on the beach as I save the others for later.

Well, I'm glad he's having fun, anyway. Moving right along...

Post #140, by Earth Bound Ranger

Mark watched Tim run down to the beach that he was sitting in silent reflection, and by the way he looked, Mark could tell it wasn't going to be silent anymore. Mark ran over to help him whith the fireworks just as the first rocket went off. I launched itself high into the air, and then exploded into a large red baseball cap (go figure).

Unfortunately for us all, 'I' was a typo, and he didn't himself explode.

Then mark got over in time to see one with Ness and Paula painted on the side, and guessed what it would turn out to be. It exploded into a heart shape and then glittered as it fell. The next one had a picture of Jeff on the side, and it turned out to be a dud (also go figure).

Poor Jeff was always mistreated and uncared for. PSI322 went through a period where she extolled Jeff in all her writing for a while, because she felt bad for him.

But when he pulled out the last one, Mark had the sudden urge to be a good hundred feet away. When it was lit, they ran as far as they could from it, only stopping to watch it go up and explode in an explotion the size of the island. The last one had gotten some attention, but their fears were quickly subsided. The dance went along into the night, all that was left of it...

If you're thinking 'this is starting to get boring'... I am too. I don't blame you if you skip ahead some (assuming I keep annotating), but I actually think things will start picking up. We're just in a rut where bad posters are doing all the posting for the time being.

Posts #131-135: 15 April 2000

Post #131, by Mog116

(Yah... Just leave and what do ya get? another 40 replies)

This thing really is taking off. Just go back and note just how many posts were listed under 14 April 2000, and then consider that all of the writers were in school all day and most of the posting activity was in the 16:00-1:00 timeframe.

Mog watched as everyone started dancing then thought "Boy... Isn't every girl already out there?"

All three of them, yes. This can be an issue on the internet.

Mog grabbed about 60 peanut cheese bars, stufffed several in his duffel bag, and started chowing down. "Mine, I'm bored."

Reminds me of a funny story from the 1996 Pennsylvania state MathCounts finals, held at the Hampton Inn in Carlisle, PA. David Kenepp and I (14 at the time) shared a room, and the competition was sponsored by Tastycake (makers of Butterscotch Krimpets and other such deliciousosities), who had several tables stacked up with Tastycakes beside the hotel pool. David and I went down to the pool, swam around a bit, then beelined to the Tastycakes. We each brought an extra beach towel with us, and so we each took two towelfuls of various Tastycakes back to our room with us. Must have been about 40 packs of them. Each. And we at them all in one night.

In a related story, David (the team's star) bombed the competition the following morning. I easily recorded the highest score on the team, because I was legendary for my superhuman sugar tolerance.

Also, there was a girl from a small neighboring town--a pretty nice looking girl, by the way--who had tagged along with our school's team since she had qualified individually. She was at the pool the same time we were, but didn't know the way back to our rooms, so the teacher/chaperone asked David and I to take her back with us. "Yeah, sure," we said, and then ignored her and left her standing there, and went to load up on Tastycakes. When we were finally ready to go five minutes later, she was gone. Far be it from us to check on where she went. We shrugged and went back to our room to gorge on Tastycakes. I miss those days.

If you're out there, Erin from Bellwood... it wasn't personal. It was just priorities, you know.

Mog never learned how to dance, so he was kind of glad noone had asked him to dance.

Liar, liar, pants on fire!

Post #132, by Queen Catherine

I danced with Drew and has a good time.

I can has good time?

Matt (PsycoPyro) stops headbanging and goes over to me.
"What time does the talent show start?" He asked.
"I think it's at nine." I replied.
"What time is it now?"
"I dunno. My watch is at my hotel room. Why don't you go ask someone?"
"Kay-o!"
He runs off somewhere and I resume dancing with Drew.

What exactly the hell was the point of that post?

Post #133, by SuperSpeedy/Mankey Boy

Wow. Back from the dead. It's about time we had some more GADGET SUGAR RUSH injected.

(Great. I'm gone for a few days, and about 100 replies pour in. And to note, the pokémon I rode wasn't Shock Bird, rather a robotic replica of it, and it only made a brief appearence. And If Pikachu can be in here, then so can my Porygon AC, Poryhedron!)

*facepalm*

"Cool! waffle!" David said at the dance. "How things back at your town in our home state?"
"Okay," replied waffle.

They say that like being from New Jersey is something to be proud of.

"Hey, a Pikachu!" said David. The Pikachu went into hiding, but David grabbed it and gave it a hug.
[Aww, thanks!] said Pikachu.
"Whoa! It's psychic!" exclaimed David.
"Did some-one say a Psychic Pikachu?" exclaimed a Porygon. Everyone raised their weapons, ready to hit the Porygon, who disappeared and reappeared in a flash of 0's and 1's. "Sorry. Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Poryhedron: experimental Porygon 0-1-6-4. I made my first I-F appearence in 'Gotta Stop 'em All -or- Death to You, Pikachu!'.
ROFL @ 'Death to You, Pikachu!' I remember that now that he mentions it. That partially explains 3164's persecution complex.

The hatred of pokemon at starmen.net back then was extreme. And I wholeheartedly approved, and approve, of it.

Also, SuperSpeedy, never one to pay much attention to the rules, is violating the one-AC-per-writer rule, for which I'm sure Chris or PSI will smack him down momentarily.

Every since David thought me up, I've excited inhislaptop and all of his digital devices, including the mechanical version of my partner, Shock Bird.

I assume he meant 'existed'. I don't even really want to think about the ramifications if 'excited' is actually what he meant.

Hop on, #3-1-6-4. I'll let you ride me. I can mystically fly using anti-gravity."
Pikachu said, [Well…]

Post #134, by Mog116

Mog runs off after Matt to tell him the time. Matt runs into the wall. "it's 7:35." "Oh" Mog walks back to the Snack table, pulls a very large cup out of his duffel bag, and pours the punch in it.

Baron von Awesome approves of that. I just took a swig of water from my signature 32-ounce stein.

*GLUG* Mog drunk the whole thing in one cartoony *GLUG* type thingy.

Writers take note: If you can't stretch your vocabulary far enough to capture the correct word ('gulp' or 'swig' in this case), you can always fall back on the old standby, 'type thingy'.

Mog walked back over and sat down. He pulled a CD player out with a "How to dance" CD in it, and thought "It's kinda Ironic. I'm a moogle that can't dance. Heck My name's even Mog! He's the dancing king."
Mog put the CD To dance and asked (Girl) to dance. (Note: any girls fine. as long as she wants to dance.)

Sorry to break it to you, bro, and I know that actually reading other people's posts before making another of your own is just so much, whatyacallit, work, but all the girls are now spoken for. Just as well you can't dance, eh?

[This message has been edited by Mog116 (edited 04-15-2000).]

Post #135, by NessJeff

(Mog, Matt needed to know the time, not me.)

I presume Mog116 originally said Drew in his above post, and then edited it after NessJeff posted this.

Posts #126-130: 14-15 April 2000

Post #126, by Chris

Just as Drew and Jenny walk onto the dance floor, another slow piece comes on. Chris and Juliana start dancing again, this time more relaxed.

He means he's more relaxed now. Somewhat. Deep breaths...

All through this, Chris is thinking "Wow, this is only the second girl I've ever danced with. This is fun! I've gotta do this more often."

He's lying; this would be the first girl he ever danced with. I know this because a month later he posted in the legendary Freaky Magic (which I will annotate after I finish the Gathering) that he had never danced with a girl before. Unless in this case he's counting his sister when he was 6 or something. But I agree with him here that admitting to PSI he'd never danced with a girl before wouldn't be a smart play.

While Juliana and Chris drifted along the dance floor...

C'mon, Chris, you can do better than that. Write us some dripping sappy prose here. Hell, I can do better than that. Hell, I will do better than that, later in the Gathering, which makes me blush even now and I will probably be merciless on my past self about.

Post #127, by NessJeff

Drew is making futile attempts at dancing with Jenny.
"You aren't doing that well now, but it's pretty natural."
"I hope you're right, 'cause ridicule sucks."
Just then...

Your suspicion is correct, Drew: You suck at life.

So..... what now?

Post #128, by Little Yoshi

Tim decided not to go to the dance, at least not yet. He had several reasons.

Oh god. Here comes an autobiographical Tale of Why I Suck Oh God Why Me that we'd all rather have skipped, if it weren't so damn funny to read now.

1:No girl would ever ask a somewhat plump boy to dance with him anyways.

Maybe a somewhat plump girl would?

2:The LAST thing he'd want to happen is for some monster to storm the dance, so he'd patrol the shore, and he knew he might need to protect some of the other somewhat disliked people/animals.

Tim is trying very hard to prevent the Gathering from dissolving into endless violence, which is like trying to prevent the sun from rising in the morning.

3:He hadn't read the overcoming shyness book yet, so he was quite shy.

4:Chris already snapped up the girl I wanted.

(Yes people, Chris did almost win that twist contest. The only reason that other couple won was because they went last, right Chris?)

I wonder if Chris let Tim have the N64 for an extra hour in exchange for writing that?

So, he patroled the shores.
"If that thing gets in, the dance will be over in a flash!"Tim exclaimed, seeing a jellyfish nearing the window where Luna was.
(insert laser sound)
"Whew! Got it!"
(note:if any girl wants to dance with Tim[quite unlikely, though], they can just come outside a ask him)

Ouch. I hurt. Reading this even nine years later makes my insides hurt. It's painful. Please make it stop.

Note to aspiring IF writers: Don't leave parenthetical comments at the end of your post restating what your post already made clear.

Post #129, by NessJeff

Drew bigins dancing better than Squall in the SeeD ball scene(Li'l too natural). Jenny seems surprised, but happy.
"Good, Drew! You see? Dancing comes quite naturally!"
"Yes! I'm dancing with a girl, I'm at an SM.Net convention, YES!!!"Drew thinks to himself.

ROFL. Sure he might have been thinking it, but at least Chris had the self-restraint not to type it.

"Yo DJ! Play a remix of the Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening overworld music!"

Because every competent DJ has a remix of that handy.

"OK kid!"
Meanwhile...

Post #130, by waffle

After looking around enough at all the people dancing,waffle just had an urge to. Of course,he needed someone to dance with. He scanned the room and noticed Luna sitting there,also not dancing.Thinking he had nothing to lose,he took a deep breathe,tossed his punch cup aside, and walked over...
"Would you like to dance?" he asked. She replied..

THAT'S the spirit, waffle! YES! High five! I am so pumped.

[This message has been edited by waffle (edited 04-15-2000).]

Posts #121-125: 14 April 2000

Post #121, by Pikachu3164

[Yeah. Another Pokémon hater to add to the list. I wonder if anyone here would start a conversation with me without wanting to kick me.]

God, I should have banned this kid. Don't get me wrong; for the unintentional comedy value here in 2009, I couldn't be happier I didn't. But at the time, it's amazing I didn't ban him. PEOPLE HATED POKEMON EXACTLY BECAUSE OF PEOPLE LIKE YOU

By this point, four more people had come to the dance. Chris and Juliana were still dancing, but Mark, Jenny, Drew, and Psycho (your AC is Matt, right? I have trouble keeping track of names.)

You could, you know, read some of his earlier posts.

had joined in the dance.
Hoping that one of them may like Pokémon, he walked over to them and satrted to talk with them.

Not to wax philosophical or anything, but if your entire self-identity is tied up in Pokemon and you can't figure out why people don't like you, you probably have at least a handful of diagnosable mental disorders.

(One of you four start a conversation with Pikachu. Do what you want, talk to me, slash me in half, kick me, give me a Peanut Cheese Bar, just something. Kay-o?)

[This message has been edited by Pikachu3164 (edited 04-14-2000).]

Post #122, by NessJeff

"Yo, Pikachu3164, over here!"
[Yes, Finally!]
Drew and Pikachu begin talking/thought-speaking about PoKéMoN and DiGiMoN and stuff.
[Yes! Someone who won't kick me!]
[Ya know, that's my philosophy on school. Every day I don't get kicked is a good thing.]

ROFL

(Drew can use thought speak, but it's shaky, and not done well.)

Awww, the emo kids have made friends with each other! It's so cuuuute! Now they can sit around together and cut themselves!

Post #223, by Luna

"Hrmmm... great party..." Luna observed from her spot at the snack bar. People were talking in one corner, and a few people were dancing. The rest were sitting around doin nothing. "I need to strike up a conversation with somone, Dance with somone, or sit here bored as a log all night. I just hope SOMONE will talk/dance with me..."

Translation: WOULD ONE YOU LAZY FRAIDY-CAT GIRLY-MEN COME OVER HERE AND GET ME INVOLVED ALREADY? NO, I WILL NOT ASK YOU TO DANCE!

It's amazing how many boys spend years dreaming of a girl--as many SM.Net boys did of Luna, for instance--but even when an opportunity clearly presents itself, don't have anywhere near the balls to say 'hey, wanna dance?' And this is why said girl has never noticed them and will never notice them.

Post #224, by Queen Catherine

I start to get bored and I really want to dance. I was boared just standing around and watching. Then, I began to notice NessJeff is looking for someone to dance. I smile at him...

I have no idea what motivated 'her' to do this. Maybe vindictiveness toward 3164. Just thinking that thought made me smile.

Post #225, by NessJeff

Drew(That's me!) and Jenny(That is your AC's name, right? I'm not good with names...) walk up to each other.
"Yes?" Drew asks.
"Would you dance with me?"
"Okay, but I'm not very good. I liked your Super Smash Brothers fanfic."

Good god. The correct answer is 'yes', doofus! The myriad ways guys screwed this kind of stuff up....

"You liked it? Wow."
Drew and Jenny walk on to the dance floor together...

Posts #116-120: 14 April 2009

Post #116, by Chris

Chris and Juliana danced. After the song was over, they sat back down at one of the tables.
"Well, that was fun, wasn't it?" Chris asked.
"Yes, it was." Juliana replied.
They sat there, enjoying watching the other people dance.
During this, on the dance floor,...

The problem with finally getting what you dreamed of for so, so long is... now what are you going to do? Damn if Chris knows. Didn't even try to put words down to describe it; just skipped ahead. I can see him shell-shocked, perhaps shaking a little (that's how the superfluous comma got in there at the end) at his keyboard.

Post #117, by PsycoPyro

Me, Jenny, and Mark carry the Jellyfish to the ocean and dump it. We then decided to chill out and return to where everyone is. We see everyone dancing.
"There must be Banger and Goth music here too!" I said as I walked to (whatever source is playing music) and makes it/them play "Du Hust" from Rammstien. Some people start headbanging. I pick mylighter up and ignite it as I headbang.
"Now this is a party!" I said.

I chuckled. You can always count on one of the psychos to annihilate something boring like slow dancing as soon as they detect it.

Post #118, by Luna

Luna glared down at the small yellow rat. "As much as I despise yellow rodents, no one can deprive somone else of a peanut cheese bar." She grumbled and handed him a cup of punch and a couple peanut cheese bars.

Hopefully she remembered to give him the ones with the razor blades in them.

"There ya go." She said, forcing a nice smile onto a face that wanted to grin evilly and drop kick the pikachu.
[have a nice day... er, night!]
"You too!" She said, at last letting the painful smile drop.
"Talk about torture" she mumbled, picking up her punch glass and bolting the remains of the punch down.

You don't seriously think we're out of punch, do you? The Syndicate is never out of punch. We have the good stuff in the back.

Post #119, by Chris

The next song to come up was Twist and Shout. Juliana asked Chris if he knew how to twist.
"I almost won a twist contest once. Let's go."

That gives him a definite leg up on this annotator in the Juliana Derby.

So, they went out onto the dance floor again, and began to twist. Other people jumped up and began to twist along to the music. In fact, everyone loved it so much that when the song was over, they played it again. Finally, Twist and Shout was off, and people began to settle down again, waiting to see what came on next...

Post #120, by NessJeff

Drew is being sad and crud."Everyone here has a friend but me... Why do all the girls here not like me?" 'I wish someone would ask me to dance...' he thought. 'Does anyone here not have a date????"'
he came close to saying.
Just then...

I'm still laughing. If he posted more, NessJeff would be right there in the MVP of the Gathering discussion. Maybe they don't like you because all you goddamn do is bitch about how girls don't like you. Maybe you should ask THEM to dance since you are supposed to be the male, not a whiny little girl. I'm happy people like NessJeff are in the world.

Posts #111-115: 14 April 2000

Post #111, by Chris

Finally, a slow piece came on. Of course, it looked rather strange, with no one on the dance floor and everyone on the sidelines. Full of courage, Chris decided to make the first move. He walked over to PSI, and said: "Wanna be the first ones on the dance floor?"
She replied...

Ladies and gentlemen, there he goes!!! He's sidling up to PSI... putting on his best smile... I think he's going to do it....... Yes! YES!!! PANDEMONIUM!!!!!!!!

I like the phrase 'full of courage' there. See, it was just like the Ghost of Starman and Starstorm Omega --- he just had to wait a few turns to store up a full load of courage before he could let 'er fly.

Post #112, by PSI322

PSI322 had been sipping her soda very carefully, so as not to spill any of it on her dress. It was long and pretty; the color was burgundy, one of her favorite shades most definitely. Her hair was still curled as it had been when she'd arrived to the island; she loved to wear her brown hair that way sometimes.

She's describing an actual dress she owned, for the record. She's not kidding when she says it was pretty.

Now that PSI322 is posting again after 100 posts of the kids, it makes it really stand out how she was like four standard deviations above average for this place at writing skilz.

All of a sudden, there stood Chris, asking her to be one of the first out on the empty dance floor. PSI322, a little surprised, set down her cream soda on the table and stood up. "Sure, why not?" she said, feeling flattered. She started to walk out onto the floor with Chris...

All told, I'm certain this is Chris's favorite post on the SM.Net forums ever. So this one's for you, Chris. I have immortalized it.

[This message has been edited by PSI322 (edited 04-14-2000).]

Post #113, by Luna

Luna hung out at the punch bowl, looking around warily for jellyfish. She bolted down a few peanut cheese bars, and drank another cup of punch. "I need to relax. no Jellyfish are going to attack me here..." She said, trying to reassure herself of that as she slid into a chair next to the snack table. "But I don't feel like dancing. I don't wanna make a COMPLETE idiot of myself... and this IS a slow song, so I'd best wait it out..."

Luna is not shy. This is her way of announcing, as PSI did a couple posts ago, that you had better approach me because I am not going to approach you.

Post #114, by Pikachu3164

Pikachu ran into the dance hall as himself.
He thought of buying a real fancy-like suit, but decided against it. Besides, no one ever notices him, so why would it matter?

GO LISTEN TO SOME NIRVANA AND LEAVE US ALONE WOULD YOU

Right away, he ran to the snack bar, took some Pepsi, and a dozen Peanut Cheese Bars. Then, he ran to a nearby chair and started to chow down on the Peanut Cheese Bars.

[I wonder if anyone will even come sit by me?]

You know, if I were AC'ing in the story by this point, I am certain I would have, at great peril of 3164 thinking I was his friend, handed him a damned device that allows him to speak English, so he would stop with the f---ing less-than-greater-than symbols.

Pikachu took a quick survey of the floor. Chris and PSI were dancing, and Luna and Waffle were at the snack table.
He hopped over to the snack table, taking the risk that Waffle and Luna weren't Pokémon haters.
[Hi! Can you hand me a Peanut Cheese Bar?!]

You know, I'd think it would have occurred to Emo Boy by now that some people may be fine with pokemon, but just dislike him.

[This message has been edited by Pikachu3164 (edited 04-14-2000).]

Post #115, by NessJeff

Drew is trying to get people to play Paula's Quest, and has had 6099 Peanut cheese bars and 899 bottles of Surge. He calms down and finally asks (A girl here) to dance. (The girl) says...(Any girl who'll say yes or no, respond.)

LOL! I'm dying. This might be the funniest post yet.