Posts #603-608: 24 April 2000

Post #603, by Mog116

"If a frog, a wizard, and a princess can kill that, then I'm sure we can!" Mog said to Kiyo.

He has a point there, actually.

"Er... I'm not sure." Before he said this, Mog was down in the crater.

Mog used PSI Summon: Starman!
2341 damage to Lavos.
Lavos used Crimson Rain.
654 damage to Mog.
Mog used PSI Teleport!
Mog ran straight at Lavos, causing 4352 damage.

As you can see, the kiddies figure they'll just make quick work of Lavos and be on their merry way. As you can probably guess, Falcon24 and Tengu Man--who now, it appears, are on the verge of teaming up and forming Team Overbearing--are going to take exception to that idea.

"Stop." A voice said. (Seeing as Lavos is here, Queen Zeal can be here to) "No! More people!" Kiyo moaned. "It's Queen Zeal!"

Sure, why not, as long as we're bringing back dead bosses. Once the crossover door's been opened, there ain't no shutting it.

Mog used PSI Aero Omega.
6372 damage to Queen Zeal.

QZ used PSI Crimson rain.
198765 damage to Mog!
Mog fainted!
Kiyo Appeared!
Queen Zeal used (The attack that puts people to 1 HP)!

It's called Hallation.

Kiyo used PSI Mimic!
Kiyo used PSI (The attack that puts people to 1 HP!)
Kiyo used PSI Haste!
Kiyo used PSI Fire!
1 damage to QZ.
QZ was defeated.
Lavos' shell was destroyed.

"Leave!" Lavos blew mog to the crater's top. "PSI Teleport."

I think Lavos just spoke English. That's new.

At the Hotel...
"Why'd you do that." Kiyo said. "I've been thinking. If we use the sound stone with all nine melodies against him, then we would defeat it."

Obviously no one is ever going to pay you to think. Are you really trying to pull us back to Sanctuary-collecting?

[This message has been edited by Mog116 (edited 04-24-2000).]

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Post #604, by Falcon24

Falcon pondered his next move. "Lavos is awakened, it will surely destroy this world...perhaps I can speed up the process."

But why, Falcon24? Why do you want to destroy the world? What dark horror lies in your past that could turn you into such an omnicidal (but charismatic!) maniac?

Falcon stood before Lavos. "Great Lavos, give me some of your power so that I can disguise myself!" Falcon was shrouded in a golden light. He suddenly changed form. He was now...F4lx0r24, super-icefusion-h4x0ring-foo! (heheh..ice'd love this). "Excellent..."

When Falcon24 realized how awesome icEFusioN's IRC bot j0hndeere was, naturally he wanted in on that action. So F4lx0r was born.

Falcon--or rather, F4lx0r, teleported to the hotel. He entered and began to search for other beings.

To kill them, I guess? I'm lazy, so it seems like unnecessary work for me. I'd just go get loaded and wait for Lavos to destroy the world (assuming moving to some other world, so as to avoid being killed in said destruction, is not an option).

Elsewhere, Lavos was feeding on the planet. And the Earth was dying...

It would seem to me like Lavos is getting kicked around by the kiddie team. Falcon24 possibly does not know that yet, as he's posting only a few minutes behind Mog116's above post.

Post #605, by Anthadd

Back in his home, Anthadd was beginning to feel guilty about having left everyone so abruptly.
"But what could I have done? I was already making enemies..."
His conscience got the better of him, and he prayed deep in his heart, hoping he could return to Eagleland Island...and he did.

(Yes, I am aware I said I'd never return...maybe I decided to change my mind.)

We're always glad to have you back, Anth. We knew you couldn't stay away from the hottest thread ever. No one can! I myself officially left starmen.net, with much self-generated fanfare, never to return, on four separate occasions. I guess I have been pretty much gone for three years or so now, but even I still idle in #earthbound. PSI322 officially left (the first time) just after the Gathering ended in 2000, and she still posts there from time to time. No one ever leaves.

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Post #606, by PSIOsman

After PSIOsman smacks Alan up thoroughly for calling him Osmond (my name is NOT Osmond!!!), They continue on to the journey. However, just as Mog and Kiyo blew Lavos' shell open, PSIOsman's mind was flooded by a surge of psychic energy.

I definitely would get pissed if somebody called me Osmond, too.

"Augh!" Osman yelled, falling to his knees.
"Dude, what's wrong?" Asked Alan.
"I-I don't know. I..." Suddenly, reality around them became distorted. Alan looked around frightfully. The world around them was so blurry, they couldn't make out where they were. Then, their vision became sharp and clear. Osman stood up and looked around. They were standing in a vast crater...

Osman saw the huge creature in the center, with a shattered spiked shell...

"Lavos." said PSIOsman, drawing his Scimitar.
"Like, what, dude?" Asked Alan incredulously.

Excellent employment of Alan's surfer-speak, even if it's just providing an excuse for some plot exposition we already know.

"Lavos is an extraterrestrial entity that lands on a planet and drains its energy. I think that Falcon used his Sound Sapper to awaken Lavos. Our only chance is to destroy it."
"But, isn't it already destroyed?"
"No. That was only its exoskeleton. It is what is within that must be destroyed."

Unlike most critters I know of, Lavos can survive and do just fine without his exoskeleton.

With that, Osman and Alan stepped inside the shell...

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Post #607, by EBPoo

After walking around for what seemed like hours, Poo finally made it to Happy Happy Village. Poo sniffs around and decides that Luna and pogopunk have been here.

It's not clear whether he read pogopunk's last post, in which he (Poo) appeared and said hello.

He enters the village and is surprised to find a stand with food just sitting there. Poo runs up, steals all the food, eats it, and runs into the nearest cave before the Unassuming Local Guy can catch him.

Because he's afraid of an Unassuming Local Guy?

Inside the cave, Poo was greeted by a Mole Playing Rough. Poo found that stepping on it would be the easiest way to defeat those moles. Before we go any further, here's a flashback of what you never saw.

I love his prose style with the sudden switch to second person.

When Poo first got the Skyrunner II, he didn't go straight to the Lost Underworld. He made a short stop at the Dusty Dunes Desert where he entered the cave and captured the five Guardian Diggers with five Pokéballs.

Let us pray to our gods that we never find out why he wanted the Guardian Diggers in pokeballs.

Now that I've got that covered, on with the story. Poo went further into the cave when he saw a half-eaten croissant on the ground. "Hmm...Luna bite marks..." Poo muttered to himself as he went deeper into the cave.

Let us not pause to consider exactly how Poo would be able to identify Luna's specific bite marks on sight.

Just as Poo thought the worse of the cave was over, a giant bear rushed over to attack. "PSI Starstorm!" yelled Poo as showers of stars blasted at the creature.

There's no kill like overkill!

The bear was defeated, but then, Poo found himself looking at pogopunk and Luna battling Mondo Mole.

Poo definitely didn't read pogopunk's last post. He still thinks they're fighting Mondo Mole (as if that would take more than 30 seconds).

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Post #608, by Mog116

[Osman! Alan! Don't fight it! We need the power of all nine songs!] Mog yelled at Osman and Alan. [Don't fight!]

At least he kept it in character, but this isn't a post so much as an attempt to keep Osman on the rails he set up. You have to at least give him credit for wanting to do something a little more interesting than "see bad guy, kill bad guy, next bad guy".