Posts #516-520: 23 April 2000

Post #516, by PajamaManV4M

PajamaMan had no time. He needed help.
Anyone who can hear me.. help.. I am stuck in Deep Darkness.. anyone..

If anyone wants to help PajamaMan, get to Deep Darkness.

Add yet another entry to list of People Crying For Attention. At the rate this is going, it doesn't look good for the rain forests.

This was posted two minutes after PMV's post #516. I suppose he didn't know how to use the 'Edit Post' feature.

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Post #517, by PSIOsman

(Does anyone else think this should be compiled into a fanfic?)

Ten years later, I'm the first person to compile it into anything. And it's not really a fanfic. To try and actually edit the various grammatical problems and disorganization out of the Gathering... well, if there's a particular room in hell for editors, I'm sure that's on the to-do list there.

PSIOsman, Scimitar in hand, ran through the dark halls of the Stonehenge base. He saw the remains of battles with Starmen and Mooks all over.

"The guys must have been through here…"

He heard a ferocious battle up ahead. HE ran through a door, and saw Tim, Juliana, and Sir defeating the last pair of Superb Starmen.

I highly approve of the way he went out of his way to not only ignore but pretty much spit on Liyoshi's attempt to force someone to write a long fight scene.

"Hey, guys! I have something to tell you it's about Poo! He--- uh…"

They all turned toward him.

"What?" Asked Juliana. "What about Poo?"

"B-b-behind you…" Osman stammered.

They turned back around to see the Supreme Starman hovering in the air.

Maybe it's just because I'm so awesome and plebeians can't do it, but I could have told them about Poo and mentioned the Supreme Starman, all in one sentence.

"Uh oh…" said Sir.

The Supreme Starman started flying around the room, firing laser blasts at the group.

Scary.

PSIOsman leaped and dodged, but he got grazed in the arm. The Diamond Scimitar skittered away across the floor. Tim, Sir, and Juliana scattered, trying to avoid the laser fire. Sir pulled out his light bazooka with SAM attachment and took aim. The shell locked on. Sir fired… and the shell exploded seven feet away!

Thus blowing Major Asshole's face off?

"CRAP!" Yelled Tim. "He's got a shield."

(a) This would appear to be Osman's way of saying 'ha ha, Major Asshole, no bazooka for you this time!'
(b) Are you tired of everything having shields and a big deal being made of it all the damn time? I am. JESUS CHRIST IT'S GOT A SHIELD WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO NOW OH GOD WE'RE SCREWED

PSIOsman got up. The Supreme Starman turned to him and started charging up his Supreme Beam.

Well, that's pretty stupid of it. Its standard beams were doing the job pretty well. Damned set-in-stone AI scripts.

Wait! Don't tell me what happens next!

Osman ran to his Scimitar, and in one motion jumped, leaped off the wall, and brought the Scimitar down just as Supreme Starman fired. The blast reflected off of it, and struck the Starman's shield. However, Supreme Starman was a bit shocked, as was PSIOsman…

PSIOsman makes a totally awesome move to save the-- DAMMIT! I told you to wait!

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Post #518, by Chris

(Ladies and gentlman: Due to the fact that Ice had to close the original topic due to its incredible length, I've created a Best of Interactive Fiction archive. For now, it's the only IF in there, but more may be added as time goes by. Just letting everyone know.)

Yes, from the bottom of my heart, thank you, Chris. Without your efforts, I wouldn't have the entire Gathering archived on my computer (and on various backup media) to this very day.

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Post #519, by Mog116

Long time no see from one of the active posters back at party time.

Mog opened his eyes. "Huh!? Wnere am I?" There was a Nurse by another bed at the hospital. "You fell down a flight of stairs."
(I really did, My mom got me a get well Video-Game because I pulled my leg. I've been playing it)

Mog avoids naming the video game, because if he did that, some people might say something like 'oh, that game rules! What do you think about (insert plot event here)?' and then Mog would be forced to admit he's lying.

If Mog weren't lying, you would think he'd be giddy about his new game and bragging to everybody about what game it is.

Short version: Mog disappeared from the IF board for a week, was staggered by the volume of posts during his absence, and came up with a mildly exotic-sounding story to explain his absence and hopefully garner some sympathy. He still has nothing on EBaholic, who faked his death and got half the community to believe it, even though he claimed to have died of cystic fibrosis even though he had posted numerous pictures of himself showing that he weighed 250 pounds*. SM.Netters weren't the sharpest knives in the drawer, as a bunch.

* One of CF's telltale symptoms is that its victims get deathly thin before they expire. And CF is a horrible disease, and faking it because everyone hates you and you want to read a bunch of posts from people saying nice things about you, is deplorable.

"Oh." Mog got up, tripped over his duffel bag, pickecx up his duffel bag and went outside. [Hm... We need the Melodies so... PIKACHU Send me a sound stone!] All of a sudden, a rock fell from the sky and hit Mog. [Look for the Ninth Your Sanctuary spot] Mog realized the power of PSI Teleport Omega! Mog realized the power of PSI Sound Omega! Mog realized the power of PSI Summon Omega!

I don't quite understand why people find it necessary to add various superpowers to their AC's for no plot-relevant reason at all right in the middle of the story. Why don't you just cut to the chase and state right at the beginning that your AC is God?

Mog Uses PSI Teleport Omega to teleport to The Lost underworld.

I once theorized that many people in the EarthBound world have Teleport Omega. Evidence: Go into the empty room on the third floor of the Fourside Department Store, stand in the far bottom left corner of the screen (next to the door) and use the For Sale Sign. Observe that your customer will arrive from the right, where there is nothing but a solid wall.

"I'll start here." Mog walked up to the Lost Cave. This place has had really strange music, Mog thought, Mabye I should start here. Mog turned left and saw something gleaming. He walked to it, and, in a bright flash, A PSIer (My version of an Earthbound Esper, It teaches you Different PSI) Mog realized the Power of PSI Float! Mog used PSI float to cross the gaps. After a while, he stopped to Examine his PSIer.

Name:
Stray: Confuses enamies.
PSI:
Float: Makes character float, cross gaps.
Mimic: Mimics last command.
Warp: Exits dungeons.
Quake: Earth damage.

Mog eguips it, and proceeds to climb the muontain.

For some people, IF is nothing more than literary masturbation. Oh, yeah, MY character has THIS power and THAT power and THAT power and HAHAHAHAHAH POWER! UUUUUNLIMITED POWER!!!!

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(Note: I want to write about the song I find. Anyone who wants to help may help, though. Just let my reveal the giygan Spacecraft From Mother1, were the last song is found. WHOOPS! Well, ya know m=y plan, so anyone can reveal it)

Sadly, his plan to make himself important by naming the 'Ninth Sanctuary' has a fair chance of succeeding. You'd think people would just ignore people randomly spouting something like this without bothering to write any plot about it--Mog's post here contains nothing except the aforementioned literary masturbation--but... well... I don't know why they do what they do.

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Post #520, by Falcon24

"Get AWAY from me!!" Falcon kicks pogopunk to the other side of the cavern. "You have no idea what you're doing!!" Falcon scrambled onto his feet, grabbed the Sound Sapper,and raced towards Pink Cloud. "No one will stop me!!!!"

Three exclamations, three quotes straight out of the Generic Villain Handbook. I'm certain at this point that Falcon24 is doing that on purpose.

At Pink Cloud at last, Falcon scrambled to fling the switch on the Sound Sapper. The black rock emanated with pure evil energy as the world, and music around the sanctuary became distorted. The Pink Cloud began to turn a shade of grey...

Hey, question: If you wreck Pink Cloud, mightn't you fall through it as it disintegrates and plummet to your violent doom three thousand feet below? I mean, obviously Falcon24 personally wouldn't, with wings and all. But it sounds plausible, right?