After a rough journey, and some hardships, EBGuy makes it to summers! Huurah Huurah!
[EBGuy] Here I am! Finally!!!
[Dude] Like, dude. I'm a dude dude. Dude. So like, whats up dude?
[EBGuy] umm.. The sky?
[Dude] Oh hoho! Man thasts funny dude! DUDE!
[EBGuy] Do you know where I could stay for the night?
[Dude] Yeah like, Thats hotel over there dude.
[EBGuy] Thanks... "dude".
[Dude] DUDE! *runs away*
EBGuy enters the hotel only to find out that he'll meet someone he has never met before in the next episode!
[EBGuy] I'm gonna kill that narrator
------------------
"Okashii na.... namida ga nagareteru. Hitotsu mo kanashikunai no ni..." -- Quatre from Gundam Wing.
EBGuy will continue writing all his posts as though they were IRC chats. In a smaller thread several people would probably ask the reasonable question "what the hell?" but here there's no time. Gotta keep up!
Post #610, by PSIOsman
PSIOsman and Alan heard Mog's cry, but they were far too late...
The battle with Lavos had been initiated.
"Like, uh-oh, dude..." muttered Alan.
Alan cast PSI Surf on the huge, grotesque entity that was Lavos. However, it just bounced off! PSIOsman leapt at him with his Scimitar... and was thrown backward!
Lavos' chest panels opened and charged a Destruction Beam. Osman and Alan lost all hope. They were unable to touch Lavos without the power of the melodies.
He's really beating on the whole "gotta catch all the melodies!" thing until it's long dead, and then beating on it some more. One of the unfortunate elements of IF as an actual story--you know, that you'd try to read and follow along with--is nothing is ever really explained. In this case the reader would by now have thrown the book through the nearest window in frustration in not understanding what the hell these Sanctuaries have to do with anything.Lavos fired the Destruction Beam. Osman held up the Scimitar, in a feeble attempt to stave off certain death. Alan and Osman were engulfed. Their vision went black...
But, after a time, Osman realized that he was not dead. He opened his eyes. Alan was next to him, alive but unconscious. The Diamond Scimitar, like a faithful friend, was at his side as well. He looked around at the pink ground, the multicolored vegetation, the snowmen, the strange people...
They were in Magicant.
And just when we thought the Sanctuaries thing was bizarre... there's this mindf---.
Post #611, by EBGuy
And that person was...
..
...
....
Svbman!
He's following up on his own post with no material from anyone else in between, and it's near certain he never read PSIOsman's intervening post while he was typing this one up. Which is, obviously, against IF rules, but again, nobody's ever going to read this.[EBGuy] Do I know you?
[Svbman] Maybe.. I'm Svbman!!
Svbman was a real person (well, a real user account on starmen.net) that has never posted in the Gathering before, that EBGuy is now introducing. I'm pretty sure they weren't the same person, but... you never know.[EBGuy] I'm EBGuy.
[Svbman] I know you!
[EBGuy] same here..
[EBGuy] Wanna come with me on a journey to find everyone else?
[Svbman] Umm... Nee!
[EBGuy] I take that as a yes.
*Next day*
[EBGuy] Yawn.
*walks into the lobby*
Svbman is running around
[Svbman] Wah wah!
Svbman runs into a wall
[Svbman] ow..
Wow. SuperSpeedy's had his Sugar High Trophy taken from him. Emphatically.------------------
It remains unlikely that, with the possible exception of Svbman showing up and posting, anyone will ever notice EBGuy's posts unless/until he intrudes on someone else's storyline.
"Okashii na.... namida ga nagareteru. Hitotsu mo kanashikunai no ni..." -- Quatre from Gundam Wing
Post #612, by SirMontyG
[Sir! Why did you pick up the Sound Sapper!? You should have been tosted on the spot!]
"Well I didn't know THAT. Look, I've been hopping around, geting put in tubes, smashed by bosses and geting diched in the desert! And it wasn't like Falcon was gonna put a "Don't Touch" sticky note on the thing! Besides, I think I know why it didn't take me out: after looking up the file log of the events of the island on your computer, it seems as though it's done it's purpose already: the wakining of Lavos. Which is just super. Ahh, but I'm rambling, thanks for saving me back there Pika!"
[no prob] Pika! *did the victory symbol*
"Man, this is going fast. It started off where we were having a beach party and geting away from all the "Saving the World" stuff, but I guess us Starmen.netters just like adventure." Sir said with a smirk. "I've gotta think this over...thanks again Pikachu!" With that, Sir took his saxophone which he left at the hotel and headed over to a rocky outlook of the ocean. "Hey, Chris. This rock taken?"
This supremely awesome post serves three identifiable purposes:
1. Getting the hell away from 3164. Clearly that wasn't what he was hoping for when he dangled a "SAVE ME" at the end of his last post.
2. Remarking/complaining, in an actually well-framed way for once, that this thread has really become pretty stupid and uninteresting lately.
3. Trying to get back to what is interesting and entertaining, namely: making fun of Chris.
Where has Chris been, anyway?
Post #613, by Svbman
That certainly didn't take long. I'll now be paying attention to the clues and making up my mind whether EBGuy and Svbman are the same person multi-accounting. The IRC-style name tags are certainly substantial evidence that they are.**Svbman gets up**
[Svbman] I needed that...
[EBGuy] What the??
[Svbman] It's a long story, let me tell you...
**Svbman takes EBGuy to McSaturn's and he explains his story**
[Svbman] So, I was at home, playing on the internet, when I suddenly read about the SM.Net Gathering. I was curious, and decided to go. I was really bored and my school didn't really mind that I left.
Come to think of it, I'm pretty sure my high school would not have minded if I had left, either, except for a few stray teachers bemoaning, as they always did, my proclivity to waste my potential.So, I packed my really cool laptop with the antenna cable modem and was off. Not knowing where the heck to go, I walked to a Psycic place and went inside. There was a lady there.
[Lady] Welcome to Psychics R Us. We give you info on stuff that is going on.
If you would like Yoga, go through door one.
If you want Palm readings, go to door two.
If you want info on why we are a cheat company, go to door three.
If you want to know your future, go to door four.
And if you want to go to Margaritaville, go to door five.
[Svbman] And, as you guessed, I went through door five: Margaritaville.
LOL. This post just became incredibly awesome.As I entered, I heard Jimmy Buffett music playing all over the place, with the smell of alchohal filling the air.
"Alcohol" has slain untold legions of spelling bee champion hopes and dreams.Suddenly, I was pulled over my a very nice looking woman, who offered me a 2-leter bottle of Surge. I took it, and the next thing I knew, I was inside a box, being shipped to Madagascar. Suddenly, the box tilted, and busted open. After a bit of time, I realized I was in an airplane. The box tilted because one of the doors had opened when an Assasin had tried to kill the President of Cat Chow Weekly's Father's, Brother's, Nephew's, Cousin's former roommate.
He quoted the line from Spaceballs perfectly. That's sort of impressive for a random IF forum poster.So, I was flung throught the air towards the opening, and was shot out into the cold atmosphere. Surrounding me was a Parachute, another parachute, and my bottle of Surge. I was thursty. I grabbed the bottle and sucked the other half dry will plummiting to my doom. I was falling, falling, falling, 30 feet left, 20, 10. Then suddenly I belched. The huge blast of carbination slowed me to 1 mile an hour, and I hit the pavement face first, unhurt. As I came to, I was still on a Surge high. I started running around and saying random quotes from Monty Python stuff over and over.
Now I'm wondering whether he accidentally quoted Spaceballs when he thought he was quoting Holy Grail.I ended up in a hotel. The lady wouldn't let me get a room unless I stopped saying "Nee" but I wouldn't. She told me to wait in the lobby. Then you came in and here we are. Now all I need is some Surge...
Right now I'm leaning toward yes, this is one person multi-accounting. There also is no evidence yet that he/they are interested in involving anybody else in his/their insane ramblings, which is probably just as well.
For the younger among you, Surge was the bridge between Jolt Cola and Red Bull.
Post #614, by SirMontyG
"WE ARE THE KNIGHTS WHO SAYYYYY" chalanged Svbman to the odd looking musician sitting on the rock in Happy Happy Village (I walked along the beach and ended up there, ok? This is fiction! )
Major Asshole has obtained enlightenment and realized what is so awesome about fiction."nee!"
A special, geeky bond was created between Svb, EBguy and Sir as the walked along quoting obscure references from Monty Python
At no point since 1975 was a single word of the script of "Monty Python and the Holy Grail," among any group of nerds, in any conceivable way obscure.~Side note: for those of you that don't know, thats what puts a Monty in a SirMontyG~
I assure you, Major, at no point did anyone ever dream it might have been anything else.[This message has been edited by SirMontyG (edited 04-24-2000).]
Post #615, by EBGuy
[SirMontyG] Its so cool we met!
[Svbman] Well..
[EBGuy] Off to HHV!
[???] Hey. Want a lift?
[EBGuy] Sure, we're heading to Happy Happy Village. We hope to meet a few friends there.
[???] Hop in. I'm X
[Svbman] Just what we need, another psycho.
EBGuy nudges Svbman with his shoulder
[EBGuy] Ssh.
[SirMontyG] Yeah.. Ssh
[X] Ok we're here.
[EBGuy] This isn't the airport! This is the river!
[X] HAHAHHA
EBGuy, Svbman and SirMontyG throw X out of the car and hijack it, then they drive to the airport where they're on their way to HHV!
[EBGuy] Hoorah Hoorah!
[Svbman] SURGE!
[SirMontyG] Sing with me! nee! nee nee nee nee!!
To Be Countinued...
Now I'm convinced this series of posts is just trolling by a bored kid that's vaguely annoyed by the Gathering (and especially by all the attempts at serious posting in it lately) and is seeing how far he can go with spewing stupidity all over it before someone stops him, happily aided by a bored and annoyed Major Asshole.------------------
"Okashii na.... namida ga nagareteru. Hitotsu mo kanashikunai no ni..." -- Quatre from Gundam Wing
[This message has been edited by EBGuy (edited 04-24-2000).]
Post #616, by SirMontyG
(Before any of you down me, EBguy and Svb, look back at the first post made by PSI322, this is suppost to be funny! Nee!)
He has a fair point there. Of course, there are several valid counterpoints:Sir: Hey, where are we going? and What are we doing? I kinda got caught up in the moment there...
1. There is a certain expectation that a post in an IF thread should have at least some vague, tenuous connection to the rest of the story as it exists;
2. Nothing in the last six posts is funny;
3. When PSI322 said it's supposed to be funny, she also added some serious could/should be mixed in;
4. When PSI322 said it's supposed to be funny, she did not mean it's supposed to be stupid.
(But then, PSI322 and I were 17-year-olds interacting with 12-year-olds. Those age groups have dramatically different ideas of funny.)
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