(You mean I must one of my ACs? AWW! I can't! It'll be too sad!)
He's so devastated by this dire turn of events that he couldn't even bring himself to type "get rid of", or however such a phrase forms in his hyperactive young mind.
Post #987, by Pikachu3164
((SuperSpeedy, just come up with a wierd way to get rid of either Poryhedron or Shock Bird, like Poryhedron went home, or Poryhedron found an Anti-Magnet Spray, or whatever.))
3164 wholly misses the point. SuperSpeedy can no more function without Poryhedron and Shock Bird than he can function without a liver and kidneys. They're part of him, you know what I mean? It's just cruel of you to even suggest such a thing.**********
Seeing as I'm, like a lot of people here, are to lazy to write a long, epic tale of how Tim, Nathan, Shock Bird, and Pikachu beat the Plague Rat of Doom,
You've got that right, brother.I'll just say that they were pounding on the Plague Rat's last ounce of HP. If anyone else in my group decides to write an epic tale, go ahead.
Please don't tempt Liyoshi. Please. Don't. PLEASE.[We're almost done with this rat!]
We can only shake our heads in sadness that this was said by 3164, rather than about him. We were only a preposition away!
Also, as best I recall, 3164 himself was the last person to bring up PROD. Always a fair indicator no one else in your own group gives a s***. But then again, that was only nine posts ago, so he's probably just bored and wanting to power through this.All of a sudden, however, the Plague Rat pounced on Pikachu, SMAAAAASHING him.
Pikachu could here Shock Bird calling out to him before he blacked out...
Wait, weren't you just saying Shock Bird needs to take a hike? I'm confused.
Post #988, by loid
"NOOOOOOO! Pikachu!"
"Thats it! take this rat!"
Kiyo took one of Randites guns (A dual Neutron laser to be exact) and in his rage blasted away at the plague rat and just about everything nearby taming it.
Yeah... OK. Sure, kid, whatever you want. I can almost feel, 12 years later, Tengu getting annoyed, but shrugging it off and saying what the hell. As well he might; who really cares how someone chooses to manifest AC God Mode? Might as well just let it pass."Pikachu, can you hear me?.....
Post #989, by Gauntlet Wizard
"Undaunted!" Siris exclaimed. "The Randite statue may be infallible!"
You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."It can't be!" Osman replied. "We must defeat it!"
Looks like excellent logic to me. The Randite statue cannot be invincible (the word Gauntlet tried and failed to come up with a more exotic synonym for). Why? Because we must defeat it. Because we must defeat it, it obviously follows that it cannot be undefeatable. Q.E.D. At least if you're an AC.With that, Osman leapt toward the Randite statue with his scimitar. The mighty PSI blade was aimed directly at the center of the statue, where a human heart would be. The scimitar hit! ...And left a small dent in the stone statue. Two pebbles fell from the dent.
"Dude." Alan commented. "That, like, can't be a good thing."
Why? It's two pebbles. They're not very likely to hurt you.Siris uttered a few seemingly nonsensical words.
Remember, swearing was very strictly forbidden on this forum.A film of barely noticeable light surrounded the three friends.
"I casted a shield spell. It should protect us from some damage." Siris explained.
And the group went on battling...
And the audience went on not giving a crap.
Post #990, by Chris
You know what's coming up right here, right? If you're new here and you don't, I'll tell you: what's coming up here is awesome.Chris stared a long time after Juliana had left.
And no one has the slightest doubt what at.A few moments after she had run off, he had been hit with such a wall of emotion that he fell on the ground. Normally, he was very good at controlling himself, and he never had been physically knocked over by a thought (or series of thoughts, as the case was).
Oh yeah. Really good at controlling himself. That's why he's been doing the same things over and over throughout this thread like a broken CD.But now, he felt a new kind of emotion, a new kind of pain.
What is a soul, if not a bowl of pain? A bowl of pain, a bowl of pain.He felt a sense of loss. Not the kind when you lost some worldly good, or when you lost some distant relative that you hardly ever knew. Instead, he was hit by a loss of something far more precious. Someone who he cared about, and someone who cared for him.
I know, it's like he's trying to write a spectacularly eloquent eulogy. I have to give this to teenagers, they really do try their best to wring all the possible angst out of their rambling, semi-coherent declarations of pain.Chris felt as though he was at least partially responsible for the reason Juliana suddenly had started crying, and run off.
Well, yeah. Generally if someone runs away from you crying, you are more than just partially responsible for it. And if this is the sixth time that someone has flagrantly attempted to get far away from you? Yeah, dude. Sorry to break it to you, but you're at least partially responsible here, no point denying it.'She must have been longing for home, with her friends, her family, her life.
I guess that's one theory of what she's longing for. I have a different theory.And yet, she's become attached to me.
Yes, there is no doubt she has. We all know that the normal, healthy human reaction when one becomes attached to someone is to try to get far away from them. Over and over and over again.We've shared adventure together, we traveled together.
He does realize that he alone has been writing all this "adventure" that they have allegedly been "sharing", right? And that as soon as PSI322 returned from a lengthy hiatus the very first thing she did is the same as the very last thing she did before said hiatus, namely: try to get far away from Chris?She must be feeling horrible, torn between life here, and life there.'
I have to once again confess to you that the whole "I miss my real-life family and friends, I can't decide if I want to stay here in fantasyland forever or go back to my humdrum life forever" thing as a stand-in for Chris and PSI322's stalker-stalkee relationship is so stupid it makes me want to drill through my own eyeballs.And then Chris had another thought. 'Maybe I'm kidding myself. Maybe she doesn't care for me at all, beyond a simple friendship, and I've diluted reality with some crazy notion of happiness.'
And here comes the angst, ladies and gentlemen!
I have to admit he has a point here, happiness is both crazy and a dilutant of reality. (I'm also pretty sure I just made up the word 'dilutant'.)Chris wanted to know whether he was right or wrong, but at the same time, he knew that Juliana had to be alone for a while.
On the other hand, the awkward teenage tendency toward Check-Yes-or-No makes me want to slap teenagers everywhere around with a live and angry ferret. Spoilers: if that question ever even crosses your mind, the answer is, you are correct, she does not want you.'She went up to her room in the hotel; there's no way she could have left Summers. In the meantime, I'll go up to mine, and I won't disturb her until she's ready to come out. And if she wants me to take her straight to the edge of the island to leave, then I'll do that. Even if it means I lose her forever.'
Beta-type guys everywhere who have been trying for centuries to pull the friends-then-sex routine are nodding their heads and saying 'well played, demonstrating to her that you really care about her, so much that you're willing to sacrifice your own happiness for hers! That always works!'
Yeah, they've been doing that for centuries, but it never works. Never. Works. Sorry, but nice guys really do finish last (and Chris miserably failing to take PSI322's attention from Asshole Deluxe guruzeth is a good demonstration). Women are usually not turned on by "I will do anything for you, you are my entire world" romantic behavior from guys. They enjoy it, but it's a different pleasure center of their brain from what arouses them. You enjoy playing World of Warcraft, right? But not at all for the same reasons you enjoy porn, right? Similar concept.
I'm not going to discuss this particular concept much more because I'm afraid of this blog showing up on PUA searches, but high-value women (PSI322, for instance, was the highest-value female on this website in 1999-2000) look for high-value men, which is mostly measured by dominating other men (guruzeth was one of the most dominant males on this website in 1999-2000).
So Chris declaring his sacrificial devotion is not helping his cause, it's hurting it. Chris throughout the Gathering is operating under the assumption that the worst thing he can do is insult guruzeth in any way, because PSI322 would be offended by it and would never speak to Chris again. That's a possible/probable outcome, yes, but what Chris missed was: in reality his only chance, however slim, of winning PSI322's heart lay in attacking guruzeth directly, challenging him for supremacy, calling him out for bulls*** (and we have already seen guruzeth providing plenty of bulls*** he could have been called out for) and then try to provoke guruzeth into counterattacking. And since guruzeth was, of course, renowned for metaphorically using the Death Star to kill a cockroach, a smoother man than Chris could have exposed guruzeth for a petty asshole (which he was) and himself a cool guy and innocent victim, and turned PSI322 against him.
A few years after these events (and after guruzeth's assholery had finally turned PSI322 against him all on its own) SimonBob, a much smoother man than Chris, effectively drove guruzeth out of the EarthBound community for good by doing exactly the above and playing it well.
OK, I'm finished with that point and won't harangue about it again. I'll go back to sniping at Chris with snide comments now.And, having tried unsuccessfully to resolve his conflict, he went upstairs to his room, and spent the whole night staring out at the ocean, thinking about home and Juliana.
I have little doubt this is, in reality, exactly what he did. Bear in mind a full day (23 hours, to be exact) passed between PSI322's last post and this one. No doubt Chris spent most of the night and all of the day moping and trying to decide how to best communicate to PSI322 that he really cares about her.
And hey, I'll be fair to Chris here: at least he had balls enough to try. Sure he's doing everything exactly wrong, but he's inexperienced, and it takes balls to try to steal the forum supreme dictator's girlfriend. I have it on good authority that, before getting into said e-lationship, that very forum dictator, for all the macho he threw around on the internet, spent three years in high school pining for a particular girl in the same way Chris is pining for PSI322, and never once saying a word to her about it. Chris's desire for PSI322's affection at least drove him to try, dammit.
OK, I'll go back to making fun of Chris now. Promise.[This message has been edited by Chris (edited 05-14-2000).]
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