(Sorry about that, Tonberry. Man, where's the steel pipe of dishonor when you need it?)
The Steel Pipe of Dishonor was something Tomato made up back in 1999. The idea was that when you get called out (by yourself or someone else) for doing something extraordinarily stupid and/or useless, you hit yourself over the head with the notional steel pipe.
Post #997, by EBPoo
Halfway to Magicant, Poo fell down on his knees again as his head started throbbing once again. "Ow...my head..." Poo muttered to himself. "This can't be happening to me...I am the supreme evil...or am I just a misguided good guy? I can't stand it! I have to do something about it!!!! WAKE UP!"
That was... er... odd.
Poo awoke in Fire Springs. "Wow. I'm back. BACK! I don't have to be evil or good. Just somewhere in between. I'm going off. Now. But where to go?"
It appears EBPoo got bored with playing the slapstick bad guy--or probably more accurately, realized no one was paying any attention to him anymore--and decided to drop the shtick. Give a man credit for knowing when it's time to pack it in.
Poo transported to different places and then found a nice, deserted place where he could relax. "This place is great. No trace of humans anywhere!" Suddenly, Poo saw two figures coming from the distance. "Wha? People? What are two people doing here???" Poo looked closer and saw two people. One of which was a girl that he had never seen before. The other was a guy whom Poo knew he had seen before. "It's guru!" Poo shouted as he ran towards the two.
OK, now his sudden change of heart makes sense. You have to remember that guruzeth and PSI322 were both starmen.net celebrities. So Poo alertly realizes they're about to join up and start a plotline together, which is pretty much guaranteed to be the Alpha Plotline of the Gathering. He's making sure to be the first to join it. And he's dropping the evil thing first, probably because he assumes PSI322 and/or guruzeth won't be very fond of it.
Post #998, by diospadre
I smiled wide enough to crack my face when I saw diospadre's name come up just now.
So diospadre is a Gathering newcomer, and he's going to mostly be in the Gathering to the end. He's near the top of the list of Starmen.Net Cool Dude Luminaries From Way Back, and rightly so. I never got along with him, because he was a cool dude and I was a jackass. But you will quickly see that wherever diospadre goes, he brings the funny. Basically he does what Major Asshole does, but better."Welcome to Summers." diospadre apathetically greeted the three tired and wet customers. Not only was he bored with working as a bellhop, but as he saw the three stagger into the hotel, he saw they were as young as he was.
Yeah. So you have to give him credit for the unique entrance, positioning himself as an already existing employee at the Hotel Where It All Began. Also this post innocently marks something never specified before (and actually I think directly refuted before) that from here out will be accepted: that the Hotel Where It All Began is actually in Summers.And teens don't tip well, its a fact.
Teens don't tip at all, in my experience. diospadre actually was a hotel bellhop at this time, I believe. Funny, that. Now he's a lawyer and I work at a hotel.Business had been slowing down as well. He was used to making a couple hundred dollars a day, it comes with the rich tourists to the town. In the past few weeks, though, there were almost no money coming into the town. He looked at his watch. It was only 4:30. 7 and a half hours to go. Another boring day. Oh well.
Pay attention, class, because this is how you do an introductory post right. Put yourself where the action you want to horn into is, introduce yourself innocuously, then end the post and wait for a chance to see what develops. If you're cool about it, it will probably come when someone invites you along for whatever world-saving hijinks ensue, but if not you can just tag along.[This message has been edited by diospadre (edited 05-14-2000).]
[This message has been edited by diospadre (edited 05-14-2000).]
Yeah, he edited the message twice, and neglected to delete the first editing tag.
Post #999, by Anthadd
"No, I've got to say I'm not interested in such folly. I'd rather get all the melodies and see if I can get back to the actual gathering. It may bring on ennui, but I'm all but ready to settle back in to a natural life on the island until school starts anew."
"That so?" Sir said.
Anthadd's responding to something Major Asshole said when he crashed Anthadd's plotline a couple dozen posts ago. And no, I'm not going to explain what 'ennui' means to you. Look it up yourself, you lazy jackass.By this time, they'd reached the Shining Spot's plateau.
"Are you ready to challenge Carbon Dog?" Anthadd queried.
Notice that Anthadd instantly assumes Major Asshole is now in Team Anthadd and will render assistance as such.Sir waited for a second, and opened his mouth in response. What came out was:
Awesome. I don't know what it will be, but I predict it will be awesome.
Post #1000, by PSIOsman
Drat. I was hoping Post 1000 would be by somebody important."AAAAA!" Osman yelled as the Randite smashed him with its enormous claw. He did one of those cool quick recoveries like in Smash Brothers. Alan tried his best, but neither his PSI or his board were damaging it.
That opening quote is actually a clever code. See this page for more information.Siris fired a beam at the face of the Randite. It took the hit easily, and turned toward Osman. Osman concentrated on his Scimitar. It started glowing again. He swung it, and fired a spinning blast of PSI energy. When it hit the Randite, it took a step back. It then continued on as if nothing happened. They realized that they would all have to use their abilities in unison if they wished do defeat the Randite.
The Power of Friendship really only impresses the reader if the reader cares. Here, the reader does not care. Why should we care about your battle against the Randite, Osman?Siris called to Alan.
"Alan! Use your Tsunami attack!"
Does Alan even have any other attacks? It doesn't seem like he does. So why would he need to be reminded to use the only attack he knows? Basically Osman is saying, "Alan, get off your lazy ass and DO SOMETHING, dammit!"Alan summoned a massive wall of water. Just as it hit the Randite, Siris quickly chanted a spell.
Shouldn't he have started chanting the spell at some point shortly before the massive wall of water hit the Randite? I think usually you have to at least do a little bit of chanting before your spell gets invoked. I presume he's casting some spell to protect himself, as one presumes an incoming tsunami would be more dangerous to him than to the Randite. But then, the Randite isn't an AC.He continued chanting, as the night air became extremely cold. Glowing winds swirled around the Randite. Siris, still chanting, brought his fist toether.
Remind me sometime to name a character in one of my fantasy books 'Toether'.The winds seemed to collide into each other, with the Randite in the middle. What had been stone was now ice. Osman leaped forward, and slashed at the frozen figure. From the point of impact, a crack formed. It became larger, and branched out more, until the frozen Randite crumbled.
But, again, we still have no idea if or why this is a good thing. There has to be a point or no one will want to waste their time reading your battle scene."Whew," said Osman. "Let's go see about Sir now."
They did not notice that the pieces of the Randite had liquefied, and were now re-forming...
Just in case you were foolish enough to think that battle couldn't possibly get any more pointless.(Geez! I'm writing these all by myself! Gauntlet Wizard, Al, care to step in?)
Yes. Yes you are. Did it ever occur to you that perhaps that's because you are the only person who cares?------------------
You may address me as His Majesty Emperor PSIOsman I.
I think I'll address you as Insufferably Boring PSIOsman instead. Will that work for you?
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