Posts #477-480: 23 April 2000

Post #477, by Falcon24

(alright everyone, I wanted to use my Sound Sapper idea anyway(the device which records a melody and then subsequently destroys the sanctuary, making it impossible for anyone else to take the power of that sanctuary. If anyone has any objections to this please say so and I'll change my post. also Note: I don't exactly recall if Magnet Hill has been taken, please correct me if it has been.)

See, I tried to warn those guys that this kind of thing would happen, that someone would jump in ahead of them. One of the worst mistakes in IF is to declare your plan, but not finish the plan in the same post; you make it practically certain, if there are oppositely aligned writers, that one of them will jump in ahead of you and ruin your plan. This can get amusing when genre-savvy writers start facing off against each other:

Writer 1: Writer 1's plan is this, and he starts setting it in action...
Writer 2: Writer 2 cleverly jumps in, steals the Macguffin Writer 1 was about to acquire, and absconds!
Writer 1: Pleased that his daring and brilliant ploy to trick Writer 2 worked, Writer 1 now goes and gets the Macguffin he was really after.
Writer 2: ...only to discover Writer 2 had already switched it with a fake!
Writer 1: Even more pleased that Writer 2 fell right into his trap again, Writer 1...

And so on.

Falcon tosses a large handful of snow at Poo as he dissappears in the distance. "Forget you too! I could've gotten that sanctuary a lot faster if you didn't slow me down!" Falcon stands there, thinking for a moment.

"There has to be one unclaimed sanctuary...if I could get it, I'd gain the upper hand..." Falcon ponders for a while. Then he snaps his fingers. "Yes...wasn't there a sanctuary in Fourside? Magnet Hill, I believe...Why, I could just hop the wall and get it, no need to go through that stinky sewer!"

He's got a point there. Why in hell didn't Team Ness just jump the damn wall? What, he thought slogging threw a goddamned sewer would be more fun?

Falcon pulls a device out of his pocket. "It's a good thing a 'relieved' Luna and co. of this little thing, it proved useful."

Falcon aims the device at a wall just outside the Rainy Circle cave, and a large blue temperal rift appears. Falcon walks towards it, and dissappears.

It's just so much more badass than PSI Teleport.

He arrives almost instantaneously in Fourside, right next to Magnet Hill. "A quick hop and I'm there!" Falcon digs his claws into the wall face and pulls himself up. "Yes! Made it! I can already feel the power!" Just then something large and dirty smacks him in the forehead and he falls onto the other side of the Sanctuary, where the Plague Rat of Doom awaits.

"So, you have come to claim my power! We shall see..." The rat bellowed. Falcon simply laughed. "Don't try to frighten me, you pathetic excuse for sewer scum! I'm a LOT more evil than you are, that's undisputed." Falcon maneuvered behind the cumbersome rat and lit a Multi Bottle Rocket under his rear. The Rocket went off!

This is what NPC's are for. You taking notes?

"Bai bai..." Falcon waved as the Plague Rat of Doom sailed into the distance. Falcon approached Magnet Hill. "Wow!! What intense power...I can feel it pulling me in! Now...how to absorb this?" Suddenly, the receiver phone rang. Falcon answered it. "Hi! This is the Kumquat Kid, Apple Kid's evil twin! I created a great invention! It can absorb the power of sanctuaries, just like the Sound Stone...although it has the drawback of totally devastating the sanctuary itself. I call it the Sound Sapper! What do you think?"

The... Kumquat Kid. Right. Every time I hear the word 'kumquat', I immediately think of the weirdo escaped murderer dude in Problem Child (I think), played by Cosmo Kramer. That was awesome.

"Excellent, send it right over." As soon as Falcon closed the reciever phone an Escargo Express delivery man rushed in and delivered the Sound Sapper. "This is great!" Falcon exclaimed. "Now the power of the sanctuaries will be mine!!!"

I'm starting to think he's quoting lines from the Clichéd Villains Handbook on purpose.

Falcon thumbed a switch on the side of the small device, and it began to hum. The tranquil sanctuary music around him began to fluctuate and become distorted. A large gust of wind followed, and then all was silent.

Falcon checked the Sound Sapper. It registered that the melody of Magnet Hill had been recorded. "Yes...it is mine. Now...on to Pink Cloud." Falcon opened another temperal rift and passed through it. As he trancended time and space to his next destination, he could here the mezmerizing hum of Magnet Hill fade behind him as he was sped away from it.

And then, Magnet Hill stopped glowing, and all things magnetized around it came crashing to the ground...

You know what we're still lacking? Any kind of explanation for why Falcon24 (a) wants to thwart the activities of the rest of the AC gang, beyond being antisocial, and (b) why exactly he wants melodies. He's an AC; he's already infinitely powerful, and can make up any reason why that tickles his fancy.

By the way, this long post followed EBPoo's post by 15 minutes, making it all but certain their separation was indeed staged.

[This message has been edited by Falcon24 (edited 04-23-2000).]

Post #478, by PSI322

Juliana walked up towards the old graveyard and happened upon the remains of the old Sky Runner. With a little help from the locals, she was able to repair it and use it to fly to Winters, where she crash-landed near Stonehenge. Anxiously, she stepped out and brushed herself off. It was time to enter Stonehenge and look for Tim and whoever else was around.

This is how you get to the point, Chris. No need for three paragraphs of boring dreck about the specifics of how to repair the Sky Runner or fly it.

Juliana went into Stonehenge slowly, taking her time as she came down the ladder. She started to look for Tim...

[This message has been edited by PSI322 (edited 04-23-2000).]

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Post #479, by loid

This post is pretty short, too, but what the hell, we'll count it. It'll help keep his averages down a little, make him look better.

"Ok, since we cant tell where we entered from, we'll have to split up." said Sir

'Okay' or 'OK', not 'Ok'; 'can't'; no period, once again. loid doesn't really do sentence-ending punctuation that much. That's 1 and 2.

"I'll go across the ledge there, Psioman will go through that corrido there, Kiyo will grapple across the celling over that barrier, and that leaves anthadd who will slosh through the raw sewage"
"Ah nuts"

PSIOsman, not Psisoman; 'corridor'; 'ceiling'; 'Anthadd'; missing comma that should be after 'Anthadd'; two missing periods. That's 3 misspellings, 9 errors.

while everyone went in different directions, kiyo attached giant suction cups to his hand and feet to stick to the ceiling, that way he was able to go over a stack of barrels.

He established in the last paragraph (and elsewhere) that 'Kiyo' should be capitalized, but since it's his own AC's name I won't ding him for going back and forth on it. That said... no capitalization; comma where there should be a semicolon. That's 3 and 11. I overlooked like three or four other things I could have dinged him for. Can you spot them?

"ROAR!"
"What was that?"
Kiyo saw the rat clearly, but it didnt see him. He got his pistol, turned on the laser light thingy, and aceently flashed it in the rats eyes.

'Didn't'; and I don't know what 'aceently' is supposed to be. 'Accidentally', maybe? That's 4 and 12.

"Uh oh, its pretty ticked off now. What the... AHHHH! (SPLASH). Ewww, sewage"
(A little help here?)

'It's'; the period should be inside the close-paren; no period. Final tally for this post: 4 misspellings, 15 grammatical errors. His totals to date: 8 posts; 34 misspellings (4.25 per post); 114 grammatical errors (14.25 per post).

This was posted 7 minutes after Falcon24's post, so it's clear loid didn't see Falcon24's post before he started working on his own, as Falcon24's post is very long and thus would have taken loid more than 7 minutes just to read. I'm going to hazard a guess Falcon24's going to win any arguments.

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Post #480, by PsycoPyro

After fighting something while leaving the Giant Step, I suddenly feel weird. A voice inside my head...
"... destroy everything you see..! Mani Mani Statue owns you!"
I looked at Jenny strangely and tried to stop. something evil slips into my mind and I am no longer able to control of myself
"Jenny!" I shouted and choked weakly. "Run!"

That sounds like something you'd say if you were at least partially in control of yourself.

Also: Ripping off Liyoshi's idea? Really?

"huh?" She said and I darted after her.

We ran out of the caves and into the street of Onett. I was crazy, but never this crazy! something was wrong as if I was brainwashed. i held a deadly mind and I was willing to attack my own friend... my other side of my mind (the good side) that was suffocating wanted to stop and cried out. the voice that told me to stop only echoed. I ran after Jenny insanely as she screamed for help. but I was the one who needed it and I knew what had caused the Brainwash...

OK, whatever, kid. You go ahead and deal with that. Meanwhile, the rest of us are going to just continue on as if this post never happened.