When Prince saw the tree burst into flames, he instantly went to the scene. He thought he saw a burning dollar in there, so he jumped into the flames.
Hahaha. I laughed.Everyone was staring at Prince, who obviously had no common sense, jump out of the tree with half a burning dollar, into the ocean. Then a large cloud of steam came from the spot where he landed.
The phrase 'who obviously had no common sense' is a classic example of overwriting. Aspiring writers, take note: as a reader, you have no need to be told that; the character's actions imply that he has no common sense. Tell the reader what happens. Don't editorialize.The steam rose into, what semed to be some dark, gloomy, clouds, which looked like the beginning of a storm.
Prince hopped out of the watter when rain started to put out the tree, and a clap of thunder was heard...
Post #52, by Queen Catherine
"YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!" Matt screamed as he spotted the tree on fire. "FIRE!! FIRE!! FIRE!!! NOW THAT'S A PARTY!!!"
I chuckled. As a public service announcement... right now we're enjoying the unbridled hyperactivity, bad grammar and general 13-year-old-ness of the 13 year olds presently dominating the story, and that generally dominated the IF board. (This is why people like PSI and myself had to coexist with Tengu and the Tengulings; we both comprised the non-insane contingent that tried to write semi-serious stories.)"Matt, please contain yourself." I said calmly as I placed the anchor to the ocean floor.
Anyway, later on, after the first couple hundred posts, the serious posters (PSI, Tengu, myself, Chris, Falcon, a few others) will gradually push the kids and their eight-line hyper posts out of the story, and the whole thing changes. Then we'll laugh at the endless angstiness and tendency to take themselves way too seriously of a bunch of 15-16 year olds. It'll be even more entertaining than this is.
I carfully read the Depth Finder and it read that we floated in 10 feet deep water. We weren't too far from Eagleland and we were 20 feet away from the island. I began to take my white T-shirt off and I revealed a green bikini top with worn, tight jeans. I had my strawberry-blonde hair pulled back in a tight braid Matt left his tanktop on and wore swimming trunks (correct me on that, PP if you don't like it).
I dunno, I guess she's trying to turn us all on or something. Or maybe just turn Matt on. It's hard to tell anymore, here in 2009."Let's go check out the place." I said with a grin and I began to dive off the boat.
I kinda don't know why one would have to remove one's shirt, apparently leaving it behind, in order to swim to shore. Besides wanting to provide fanservice. Kinda heightens my always-latent suspicion that this 'female' poster is actually male.
Post #53, by Prince of the Stars
Then the tree finally stopped burning, and the rain started pouring down. Prince, who was drenched, saw Matts boat coming towards the island.
"Hey you, over there in the boat." Prince yelled to them. "I don't think you should be swimming in the rain..."
But it was too late, she had already jumped into the frezing water, only to jump right back into the boat, shivering...
Prince is kinda toeing the line here of how far one should go with another's AC, deciding that
Jenny will get back in the boat immediately after she jumped in the water. Also, this came 30 minutes after his previous post (#51 above). He didn't have much patience.[This message has been edited by Prince of the Stars (edited 04-12-2000).]
Post #54, by PsycoPyro
PsycoPyro and Queen Catherine pretty near always posted within ten minutes of each other. In retrospect, they may well have been the same (probably male) person multi-accounting.I wore the navy blue trunks
That's an OOC note to Queen Catherine. For some reason he didn't use parentheses or brackets to denote that.Before diving off Jen's boat, I sense a storm and hesitate to jump off. I clearly remembered what HTLOZ Island happened. There were cannibals found and killed a few people.
Due to bad gramers I have no idea what the hell he's even trying to say here. It reads like gibberish. My best guess is he meant to say 'I clearly remembered what happened at HTLOZ Island' [whatever that is] and 'There were cannibals there that killed a few people'.I go and pull out two 9mm pistols for protection just incase.
You might find their functionality suboptimal after they've been immersed in sea water.Just as I was about to leave the boat and seek shelter from the rain, I pull cover on the boat to prevent it from sinking. Then at the corner of eye, I spot strange, large object on Fish/Depth Finder. There was a large creature with a huge body and a flat head. It quickly passed the boat as it nailed the boat from underneath and knock me to my feet. It headed straight for Jenny. It was a sea lizard by the name of Kralen from Scarbas...
"Jenny! Watch out! Everyone hide!"
I took out my pistols and prepeared for ACTION! I wanted to destroy the beast.
And thus, in post #54 of the Gathering, combat begins. That was actually a record for the IF forum by at least 40 posts. At this point in history you could count on your two hands the number of IF threads that even lasted 54 posts, actually.
Suffice to say that 'once the violence has commenced, there is no going back' is an Immutable Law of IF.
Post #55, by Queen Catherine
For those of you who are wondering: Yes, QC/PP will go away fairly soon. Of course, this being 1900 posts long, 'fairly soon' may well mean they'll continue dominating for another 150 posts or so. We'll see."Aw GoD!" I screamed as I spotted the thing.
By the way, this post was 4 minutes behind the previous one... probably the length of time it took 'her' to write it.
Nah, it's not God. Just Kralen. Or were you hoping to suck up to it and thus obtain mercy?It's eyes blinked at me like a cat staring at a helpless mouse. Unfortunately, I had no weapon to arm myself with and I was defenseless against the thing. The water was cold and I wanted to get out as fast as I could.
I saw Matt aiming for the thing and firing. However, the bullets didn't seem to penetrate the monster. Then, The creature lunged at me...
At this point it's a pretty obvious setup for Matt Saves the Day. Again allowing that I'm not reading ahead, I'm going to place an educated guess that the Damsel in Distress beacon having been lit, several of the already-present kids will also rush to the rescue.
You... actually [even if only vaugely] considered me NOT insane back then? o.O;
ReplyDeleteWow, I guess I should feel... flattered. Maybe not. I don't know. XD
And I only dread what's to come when we get halfway or further into this IF. The crap I did in this is likely among the dumbest I've ever done. Or maybe I'm just being too hard on myself. Probably not. :P
Also, I seem to have forgotten more of my IFing past than I want to admit[which might REALLY bite me in the butt later]. I had forgotten that a lot of IF before this one were actually short in length and lifespan. Shows how much an old fool like me can forget in 10 years. >_>
Man, you should see the stuff I'll be writing once we're past halfway on this thing. I don't dread it, though. I'm just going to point at myself and laugh like I point at everyone else in laugh. Once we're about 800 posts deep or so, it's nothing but angstmania all the time from the guruzeth/PSI322/Chris/Luna/Falcon/etc. contingent, despite Traceh's best efforts. The unintentional comedy is transcendent.
ReplyDelete