Posts #391-395: 22 April 2000

We're back from a lengthy hiatus. If you thought Annotated Gathering was dead, YOU WERE WRONG. Tough luck, fellas. I'm not nearly done making fun of everyone in sight.

Post #391, by SirMontyG

"YARRRRRR..." meanwhile, back in the vilage, "....RRRRRRRGGG!!!" Sir charged with his slugger held high above his head. *KaTHWAP* A dent is seen in the side of Elecrto Specter's calf. Electro retaleates quickly, sending Sir flying, hiting the roof of the cave and landing right by Anthadd's colapsed body.

Good lord, the spelling. Someone please teach this kid how to spell. He's been hanging out at the Loid Academy again.

This kind of spelling on any serious IF board now would get a guy mercilessly flamed and, if it didn't clean up in short order, banned, likely. (I had originally typed 'in all likelihood,' but that is a really asinine and unnecessarily long phrase. I'm trying to cut stuff like that out of my writing.)

"ungh..need a stratagy," Sir thought to himself. "Ant was talking about PSI, but I never understood that stuff..First things first, better bring him around." Sir quickly glanced at the lable on the item he took out of his pocket: "To Scruffy, here, something tells me you're gonna need this. Avalanche Forever! ~Barret~" It was a phoenix down.

As I think I mentioned once or twice before... a lot of the people around these forums were fans of other games more than they were of EarthBound, so pointless crossovers were constant.

Sir quickly revived Anthadd and ducked into the inn for shelter.
"Anthadd, my bat isn't doing to well against pure energy, now what's this you were saying about PSI?"

Well, that's your bat's problem. Typically, bats or any other blunt force weapon will do just fine against Electro Specter, who is made of metal (steel, most likely), not 'pure energy.'

"If only we could use PSI, we could stand a chance!"

That's what Chris has been saying all the while!

Ba-doom CHING!

"I dunno, I think one of those multibottle rockets could come in handy right about now. either way, we need to think of something quick..."

Yes, it sure would. If you happen to have a Rabbit's Foot equipped, there's a good chance a single Multi bottle rocket would eviscerate Electro Specter.

On the water north of Deep Darkness, Chris gazes at the vast swamp. "I wonder how Sir and Anthadd are holding up.."

I really doubt he was ever wondering any such thing. Especially not while he's busy hijacking commandeering a ship.

*KAABOOOM* a large explosion is seen in the distance, aproxomentaly where the Tenda Vilage should be. "I bet they're fine..."

---

Post #392, by Chris

Within an hour of leaving Deep Darkness, shortly after the explosion, the motor on the boat died. At first, Chris thought that this was disaster, but he soon realized that he wasn't too far from Scaraba. He decided to search the boat for a raft or even some oars.

Ha ha! Either that was a cleverer captain than you anticipated, or you didn't pick a particularly seaworthy vessel to steal.

In the storage locker, he found nothing useful, except a life ring, which wasn't good for traveling a bottomless river.

I really doubt it's bottomless. If you have a 'life ring', you might be able to go down there and check it out. I mean, if it's really bottomless, sooner or later you'll sink to the earth's core and at least be out of the water.

He managed to find one broken oar, but it did him no good in the water; indeed, it was so rotted that it broke off after only a few strokes.

OK... if this 'boat' is large enough to carry more than two people, then you would need a very long oar to get it to move. A broken oar would be utterly useless. And if you did find a very long oar, being only one person, the only thing you could do is make the ship spin around in jaunty circles until help arrives.

Chris checked under seat, behind the counter, everywhere he could, but found no way to get off the boat.

While he sat and thought for a little while, he first noticed, and then started to wonder about, a little orange speck on the horizion. It seemed to be getting closer, but Chris couldn't be sure. Finally, he realized it was a raft, and for one minute, Chris feared that the captian of the vessel had come to take it back.

Well, damn, I'd say he can have the piece of s--- back, wouldn't you?

As the raft grew closer, though, Chris was able to make out who it was.

"Juliana! Long time no see!" Chris cried.

It might just be a mirage. He might just be hallucinating.

She must have gone through Deep Darkness just after me, he thought.

Awwww. That warms the cockles of my heart so much. My cockles are burnin' up.

She rowed the raft up besided the drifting boat, and tied it on. He helped her onto the boat, and she explained why she was here.

---

Post #393, by Little Yoshi

"And one weapon shot won't take me out either!"Luna shouted, readying a multi-bottle rocket.

I wouldn't bet heavily on two weapon shots proving successful, either.

"Leaving so soon?" Falcon said, seeing Tim enter his boat, and to start attacking with offensive lasers!

'Goddammit! Why doesn't anyone ever attack with their defensive lasers!?'

This is like writing, 'Falcon dumped a bucket of wet water over Tim's head!' Which Tim would probably do, if the situation called for it.

Falcon blasted at Tim's boat, not knowing of Tim's new shield upgrade, which deflects physical projectiles back to the sender.

Well, then it's Falcon's own fault for not reading Tim's posts. Then he'd know Tim's time dilation device allows him to respond to attacks by retroactively preparing the perfect technology to counter them before you actually attacked him. In your face, Batman.

after being hit by his own laser, he felt the full force of a multi-bottle rocket.
"GWARGHHHH!" The bird of pray shouted, but Luna's team didn't cease fire.

Oh god guys he's a bird of pray! He's going to get Frank, Ness's mom and the game player to team up and slaughter us! RUN!

(Note: Joke will only make sense if you've played EarthBound)

Nathan borrowed Luna's Gaia beam(I don't know what your weapon is, Nathan), and blasted away.

Then why not write, 'Nathan fired away,' and leave out the weapon?

Falcon fired again, directly at Luna, but Tim's spring-out-of-the-water-thingy blocked and deflected the blow.

Damn, what would Luna do without Tim's vigilant protection? Die horribly, that's what. We can only hope she's grateful enough to at least take him to second base.

You wouldn't in a million years see Tim specifically defending Nathan here. If it was just Tim and Nathan, sure; but not if Luna's available to protect. Thus we see the 'protect and thus impress your woman' instinct even in preteen boys.

Luna fired another MBR, and that did serious damage, as did Gaia Slash, where Nathan blasted the Gaia Beam energy on the Masamune(it absorbed the energy), and then Tim slashed Falcon.
"GWARGGGHH!!" Falcon shouted, throwing Tim to the ground.

Serious damage, fair enough; it's just too bad Falcon has Infinity Plus One HP, just like you do. If there was an audience, it would be yawning by now.

---

Post #394, by Pikachu3164

The peoples on Onett were in a panic, because of the huge fight between Falcon, and Luna, Tim, & Nathan.

I have no idea what any of that is even trying to say, much less what it means or how it makes any sense in the storyline.

At Twoson...
A distant "BOOOM" was heard, coming from the general area on Onett.

I assume that's the second time he tried to type 'of Onett' and failed hardcore.

[What the.... Mog? What was that?]
"I don't know. But let me guess. Now you want to go see what the explosion was, huh?"
[Yeah.]
"Come on Mog, let's go see what it was," Jenny replied.
So, once again, Pikachu, Mog, Jenny and Gang changed course, this time back to Onett.

Didn't take long for 3164 to get bored of joining Paula's Throng. F--- that.

Minutes later
[Hey! Is that Tim fighting a wierd bird thingy? And isn't that the girl who had thrown a Peanut Cheese Bar at me in disgust? And some other guy?]

Let's help the wierd wired werid f--- it weird guy!

That's what I'd do. To hell with helping Tim, the Time Traveler.

Pikachu was observing the battle between Tim, Luna, & Nathan and Falcon.
Pikachu called out to Tim, [Need some help?]

Leave it to 3164 to do the boring thing. It would have been more fulfilling to become Falcon24's loyal fanboy and servant, as half the population of the modern SM.Net forums will tell you.

---

Post #395, by PSI322

"So you're the little pirate, eh?" Juliana said.

"Huh?" Chris was confused.

Juliana laughed. "Never mind," she said. "What I mean to say is, you're the one who stole the captain's boat. What were you thinking?"

Wait. What? Wasn't she acting kind of pissed off about the whole thing in her last post? Now they're buddies again. Readers, you be the judge: is PSI322 officially just screwing with Chris's head to amuse herself now?

Chris hung his head a little bit. "All I wanted was to come to Scaraba a little faster," he said solemnly. "I'm sorry though. I know it was wrong of me." Chris paused. "Are you angry?"

Appropriately contrite. Chris might well have written that himself, if PSI had simply acted pissed off and demanded an explanation. It would have been funnier that way, but this will do.

"No, no, nothing like that," Juliana assured him. "I was just wondering. I knew there had to be some reason that you'd get involved in this sort of mischief." She looked down at the boat. "So the motor's dead, huh?"

Chris nodded. "Unfortunately. How's your raft holding out?"

"Well, it's been good from the Deep Darkness to here," Juliana replied. "We probably could go to Scaraba in this raft for now, and tow the motor boat along behind us. That is, if you want to."

Holy s---! Wait just a damned minute. You're going to tow a motor boat behind you with a goddamn life raft that you're presumably rowing? I know your strength is incredible, PSI, but, I mean, damn.

"Sounds like a plan to me," Chris said with a smile as Juliana leapt into her raft and pulled out the oar that she had been using to steer it thus far. Since the raft was relatively small, Chris stayed in the motor boat and was content to be towed along behind the inflatable raft.

Like I said, incredible strength. F--- with PSI322 at your own peril, boys.

Before long, they were well on their way to Scaraba and the deserts which surrounded it.