(OK. This is getting waaayyyy too crazy. You people are adding so many twists, my head is spinning. I'm not gonna add to the story right now, but i will later.)
P.S.-I am not dropping out of the story, just stating a comment.
Our old friend SaturnAl is way behind the curve here and is never going to catch back up. (He'll have to say f*** it and jump back in without a clue what's going on.) People were lodging this complaint before the Gathering was 150 posts old.
Post #872, by guruzeth
"Oh man, I ain't gonna be able to stop this thing..!" said guruzeth. "She's gonna hit land hard, better bear down!"
Oh well. It's just a ship, they're supposed to be disposable. Plenty more where that one came from. It would be a lot of unnecessary work trying to use it more than once.Tracy looked around frantically for somewhere to hunker down before the collision, but guruzeth, realizing there was little time, grabbed her by the arm and dove to the ground for cover, a split-second before the ship hit the ground with a loud cracking and crunching sound, causing Tracy to hit her head off the side of the ship. "Oww!"
I dunno, guys, there is a lot of touchy-feely going on here. That's twice in a row with the whole grabbing the hand/arm thing. PSI322 is going to have to step in and tell guruzeth to cool it.The ship, however, did not survive running aground; it had broken into a few pieces and was quickly sinking, as guru and Tracy realized has they felt the water coming up around them. "It's going down!" Tracy cried, still a little woozy. "We have to get out!"
"Relax," said guru, "it's shallow water, only a few feet deep here, but we're gonna get wet..!"
Damn, you'd think Chris was writing this."LOOK OUT!" Tracy screamed and dove to the ground. guruzeth looked up just in time to see the main sail mast crashing at him...
guruzeth awoke slowly in a rough-feeling bed, and the side of his head and his chest really hurt. "Oww..." He vaguely remembered the shipwreck, the last thing he remembered being the crashing mast... He felt the long scar along the side of his head, going down into his cheek toward his mouth. "Oooh, that mark isn't gonna go away..."
guruzeth instinctively grokked that chicks dig scars. Chicks don't especially dig concussions, so it's a good thing ACs are immune to them."guru! You're awake!" It was Tracy, who was sitting in a chair reading a book.
LOL. How thoughtful of her."You've been out for a long time!"
"How long.."
"It's been almost a day... it was bad. You got it right in the head, and your shoulder..." That was where the other pain was coming from, guru thought, wincing. Dislocated shoulder. He slowly rose from the bed.
Gotta call bulls*** on ol' guruzeth here. Dislocated shoulder? If he had a dislocated shoulder he would be lying on the ground screaming and weeping in agony, not wincing and shrugging it off. Those sons of bitches HURT."Your friend can go now," said the receptionist. "Please pay $200 for the doctor's fee first."
"$200?" said guruzeth. "Bleah." He reached into his backpack and fetched the money. "Here, take the bloody money, I gotta get outta here."
I don't know. I guess he was trying to appear badass or something? He comes across as more of a pissy teenager. Oh yeah, right... that's what he was.He rose from the bed, rubbing his sore shoulder and wincing from his head wound, and handed over the money, and they departed from the hospital.
"Hmm," said guruzeth, flipping through his money. "That hurt my pocketbook... I have enough to buy the Piggy Nose, but not much else. Well, let's go to the bazaar for that Piggy Nose."
It is funny--and probably an intentional statement on their part--that, while everyone else is scampering around Saving the World, guruzeth and Traceh are enduring shipwreck and injury in their tireless quest for... a Piggy Nose.
Post #873, by Rockwell
Ahhhh.... Rockwell. He was a Tenguling Deluxe back in the day that went far out of his way to antagonize (and be antagonized by) guruzeth. That phase got over with quite quickly, however, and years later, after they grew up, he and guruzeth actually got to be kinda-sorta friends.Rockwell was seen off the horizon by a sercurity camera near Reidman house.
"Intruder Alert! Arm all guns! I repeat, arm all guns!" shouted the P.A.
"Guns? That doesn't sound like a good thing." Rockwell said to himself.
"Oops, wrong P.A! *Click*"
I laughed. It's like that Far Side comic that shows an airplane as it's flying along, with panicked expressions on all the passengers' faces while the co-pilot screams "Oh my god Frank, the fuel light's on! We're all going to die! WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE! ... wait, wait, my mistake... that was the intercom light."Rockwell looks around him and there was no one around. He put his hand at his chin and then rubbed it curiously. It didn't take long for them to make the first shot which miss Rockwell's foot by 3 centremeters.
I don't have any idea what a centremeter is, so I consequently don't know how concerned for Rockwell's safety I should be."Intruder! Leave the property of Reidman house now!" The P.A. shouted.
"Who, me?" Rockwell said with a concerned look on his face.
"You have excalty five second before we pump you full of lead."
+1, Home Alone reference."Now is a good time to escape."
"5..."
Rockwell ran away in panic, but discovered that he was going the wrong way.
"4..."
He took off like crazy.
Rockwell was always pretty good at cranking up the crazy and ripping off the knob."3... ah, the heck with it. Fire the torpodoes!"
A Nuclear Sub came through the ground and fired some torpodoes. Rockwell ran away and then saw a border line. He kept on running. Soon, he made it to the border and stepped over it. The torpodoes stopped and then turn away and ran back. Rockwell was confused. He look around him and saw a sign.
I can only surmise that torpodoes are dangerous somehow. And apparently sentient."Beware of hungry vicious rabid dogs that are on your side of the line." Rockwell read.
"Then that would mea-"
Rockwell was cutted off by a growling sound. He turned around and came face to face with a pitbull that was foaming at the mouth. An anime-style sweatdrop form at his head and then he ran away like crazy. The pitbull dog chased him. Soon, 64 dogs were chasing him.
"I knew I should have bought that meat on stick!" Rockwell screamed.
Ah, but my dear man, you are meat on a stick.Then a lightbulb formed over Rockwell's head and he stepped over the border.
"Nah nah nah. I'm smarter than you." Rockwell taunted the dog.
This certainly should be true, but based on the spelling and grammar in this post I can't state it for fact.*pants**pants**pants*
Suddenly, one of them crossed the line and Rockwell panicked and resumed running.
You do that.
Post #874, by EBPoo
"Ninth melody...ninth melody..." Poo thought aloud. "I'll need help to find the final melody. Help from someone who knows about unearthly things. Hmmm..." Poo blasted a single star into the air and yelled "Starmaster! Come here!" In a large blaze of light, Starmaster appeared.
"What is it, your Princeness?" Starmaster asked politely.
"Tell me about the ninth melody," Poo commanded.
"Well, unlike the other sanctuaries: Giant Step, Lilliput Steps, Milky Well, Rainy Circle, Magnet Hill, Pink Cloud, Lumine Hall, and Fire Springs, the ninth sanctuary is more complex. It isn't just there. You have to look for it," explained Starmaster.
Once again I feel compelled to note that if there was any such thing as a "ninth melody" I'm pretty sure the Star Master would have mentioned it to somebody by now.
Also, I know these Asian gurus aren't supposed to say anything that makes sense, but: didn't we find the other eight Sanctuaries by looking for them? It's not like somebody mailed them to us."Look for it...doesn't seem hard..." Poo replied.
"No, but what makes it harder is that the ninth sanctuary is different for everyone. It could be one place for one and another place for another," said Starmaster.
Maybe these guys borrowed this "Ninth Melody" and "Everyone gets a piece of Magicant" nonsense from anime plots. That would explain a lot."Well, where's mine?" asked Poo impatiently.
"Your answer lies at where you got your first melody," Starmaster said as he disappeared in a cloud of smoke.
"My first melody...Fire Springs!" exclaimed Poo knowingly.
Which, I yet AGAIN feel compelled to repeat because I am kind of an asshole about these points of accuracy (you noticed that, right?), Fire Spring (there is no S at the end) is in no way the Gateway to Magicant. You get to Magicant via whichever was the eighth Sanctuary tune you nabbed.Hours later, Poo was once again at Fire Springs.
Fire SPRING, jackass.Then suddenly, everything went blurry as he was transported to Magicant. As he was there, he was greeted by locals. "Welcome back, Foolio!" greeted a penguin.
There was once a time when saying "foolio" made you cool. No, really."Shut up!" Poo snapped as he kicked the penguin into a wall. All of a sudden, a voice began talking to Poo. "Nevermind the ninth sanctuary. Luna's here. Find her. NOW! We have to stop her," the voice said.
"Stop her??? From doing what?
waffle, most likely.
I'm sorry, was this supposed to be a family-friendly annotation? I forgot.And who are you? Or rather, what are you?" Poo was very confused.
"Oh come on, you know who I am. I'm your evil side," explained the voice.
"Evil side, eh? Well then, where's my good side?" asked Poo.
"Good side? What good side???" the voice said.
At least Poo's savvy enough to make the joke (or perhaps the Ha Ha Only Serious) before I got there."Oh...well, I guess I'll get going now," said Poo.
Hours later, Poo located Luna. Poo ran out to talk to her. "So, we meet again, Luna." Poo greeted. "Sorry for all my attempts to kill you."
I feel like Poo really should know better than to follow Luna around like a lost puppy. He thinks doing mean things to her will help her notice him, but it's not enough to overcome the very unattractive lost puppy thing. waffle should not feel threatened."Well, I guess it's all right if you're sorry." replied Luna. "But I have a question...why are you ALWAYS following me around?"
"Well, er...I don't know. But I have to be on my way now," said Poo as he walked away mumbling something about finding Falcon and taking over the world.
Poo is actually making his mistake worse by making it obvious, in so many words, that he's into Luna. (He actually did this for several years via various avenues at the site. Say this for him, he was not shy about it. Chris, he ain't.)
Post #875, by Anthadd
As Anthadd travelled along the Shore of Eden, he had to swerve inland to avoid the attacking Krakens, and hitting them with his golf clubs (I bought a whole set, and am lugging the entire case with me) whenever their backs were turned.
I'm surprised Anthadd fell into the Inexplicably Varying Person (he->I) trap.He'd occasionally find a small seran-wrapped bowl of Kraken soup, which he also stowed in his backpack.
Up ahead, lay a small, golden statue. Behind, far in the distance, a rather large circular rock was descending, and rock buildings were exploding into flames.
"I can't go back now," he stated. "I have to face the evil inside me now."
Perhaps the reason guruzeth never bothered with the Magicant crap was because he openly embraced the evil inside him.
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