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24 November 2011

Posts #981-985: 13 May 2000

Post #981, by PSI322
Oh boy! I don't think I've ever looked forward to a post quite as much as I've been looking forward to this one! brb, getting popcorn.
(I'm sorry that people have been getting angry, but the rules for this IF allow only one AC per person. Thank you.)
Once again PSI322 apologizes for other people being idiots. You know what we need for her? A gong. *BBBBRRRROOOOOONNNNGGGGG* WE ARE TERRIBLY SORRY TO INCONVENIENCE YOU, BUT PSI322 HAS SPOKEN.
Chris and Juliana strolled along the beach leisurely beneath hundreds of thousands of diamond stars and a never-ending night sky. The world seemed to be so still, and both of them walked along in almost complete silence.
Chris is doing a mini-fistpump as he reads this. So far, so good, Chris baby!
Her mind just as active as ever, Juliana slipped into the far reaches of her mind, deep in thought.
...uh oh. Bad moon rising, Chris baby.
What am I doing here, Juliana wondered to herself. This feels so strange to me, almost like I know I don't belong here.
With Chris. Say it together now: "I don't belong here with Chris."

I have a feeling she's not about to let him down easy here.
Eagleland Island isn't my home. Massachusetts is my home, in that little town built beside that little mountain, where my family waits for me and my friends miss me terribly.
All this is probably true, but I have serious doubts Massachusetts is where you're about to take off to.
She looked over at Chris for a moment, and then back at the waves crashing upon the beach. Gently, Juliana sighed, knowing that what she really needed right now was a little time by herself.
I think this is PSI322 Gambit #6, five of them staged to escape Chris. But it's the first one we've seen in like 500 posts, guys! It feels like the good old days all over again. I still feel a little bad for Chris even though he was engaging in creep behaviour and I shouldn't. He DID try. He just can't take a hint now that his best efforts have failed.
Struggling with a million emotions all at the same time was unproductive. She'd need to get out her notebook and her favorite pen, crank out a few poems, and sort them all out, one by one.
Humblebrag. That's right kids, I am a poet. Nobody was ever better at them than PSI322.
Closing her eyes lightly, she spoke. "Chris, I can't be here right now," Juliana managed to say. "I'm sorry."

Chris stopped walking and looked at her. "Why not?" he asked, curious. "Are you all right, Juliana?"

Juliana nodded feebly. "I feel fine, medically," she replied, "but I think I need to take some time alone for a little while."
Chris can't be shocked by this, not when it's the fifth time she has told him that line almost verbatim. It was fantastic while it lasted, though.

If Chris is any good at all at reading tea leaves, he knows this will be the last time, because guruzeth is now active in the thread and all the smart money is betting that's where she's headed.
My memory is fuzzy, but I do know that sometime around when the Gathering was going on--and therefore, based on Chris's posts, I'm assuming it was right when this stuff you're reading now was being written--Chris had an IM conversation with me in which he said, and here I'm paraphrasing but it's very close, "I know you really like Juliana. I really like her too. I'm going to try to start an e-lationship with her. I hope there's no hard feelings. Okay?"
And I just laughed at my screen and said, sure, pal, knock yourself out. Because (and I guess this was not really known, in Chris's defense) she and I had already been e-lationshipping for a few months by then, and even if we hadn't he had no chance. He was a nice guy who was well out of PSI322's league, but wouldn't take a hint and ended up stalking his crush. Hot girls such as PSI322 have to deal with them every day as a matter of course. 
I was insecure as hell back then--I behaved like a complete ass when she went to college and started realizing how fun flirting was, she attempted to dump me but it didn't stick, and it would have been much better for her if it had--but not for a microsecond did I feel like Chris was a threat. I hope he grew up after that and did well for himself. We were all awkward when we were teenagers.
A little concerned, Chris continued to watch her. "Are you sure?" he said softly. It was then that Juliana's face became more visible in the pale yellow moonlight, and Chris saw that tears had formed in the girl's eyes. "Are you crying, Juliana? What's wrong? Anything I can help you with?"
I assume all the crying is just to portray Juliana as heartbroken about running away from Chris, to make him feel better. At the time PSI322 and I conversed quite a bit about how Chris was really nice and a good friend but just wouldn't stop making advances. She tried very hard to gently make him understand she wasn't interested, but... again, a hot girl is usually surrounded by ten of these guys, and hitting them over the head repeatedly with the GO AWAY hammer is the only way they ever get it. PSI322 was WAY too nice to do that to a nice guy like Chris. Hell, she was too nice to do that to Tengu Man.
Weakly, Juliana shook her head. Wiping her cheek with one hand, she whispered "goodbye" to Chris and ran from the beach, not knowing where she was going or how she would get there. She only knew that she had to be alone right now.
Really? I bet I know exactly where she's going: straight toward guruzeth via the shortest available route. (But I'm cheating with knowledge that wasn't publicly known at the time. All Chris or anyone else reading this at the time could know was that she wanted to escape Chris.)
Chris just stared at Juliana as she faded into the distance. Shaking his head, he wondered what was the matter, and if there was anything he could do to help poor Juliana. She looked like she was in some kind of secret pain, and all he could do was wonder why she hadn't told him what was bothering her...
PSI322 is very much using IF to allude to their real-life situation. He did wonder why she wouldn't tell him what was bothering her, which she wouldn't because (a) it was him, and (b) she wasn't going around telling people about her and guruzeth. Chris has been using this thread as a vehicle to make advances on PSI322, and she is now using it, as best she can with kid gloves, as a vehicle to signal to him that she isn't interested.





Post #982, by EBPoo

As Poo's evil side fused with him, Poo's eyes glowed red. His mind was being slowly taken over by evil.
I remain confused as to what he's been up to for the rest of the thread, if it's not evil.
"HAHAHAHAHAHA!" laughed Poo evily. Suddenly, a jolt came across Poo's head. "Owwwwwww! My...head!" yelled Poo. "Head...ache..." Poo's eyes began glowing blue.

"Ah...this power of light," said a voice.

"Who...who are you?" asked Poo, still holding his head.

"You don't know me well. I am your good side," said the voice.
LOL. Well played.
"Good side??? I have a good side?" Poo asked confusedly.

"Well, duh. Anyways, I can't let your mind get taken over by evil. You're going to be good," said Poo's good side.
That sounds very boring. We've got enough good guys here, and they're all boring.
"Nope. He's going to be BAD!" exclaimed Poo's evil side. Poo's head started giving off energy.

"Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! My headdddddddd!" yelled Poo. Poo fell to his knees as he thought. What can I do? Do I go evil and be evil and then take over the world? Or do I go good and save the world? Faced with the hardest decision of his life, Poo ran as far as he could from the Sea of Eden.
Well, if it's an either/or, then taking over the world is a no brainer. But taking over the world, relative to saving the world, is a much higher risk/higher reward proposition.





Post #983, by Anthadd

"I'm trying to acquire the melodies so I can go home, finally," Anthadd replied, his golf club at the ready.
I believe this is the first suggestion that nobody can go home until they've collected all the melodies. As opposed to just flying home, the same way they came here in the first place.
"I came here to get the Fire Springs melody so I could gain Teleport PSI and go to Deep Darkness again."
"Is that so?" Sir asked again. Anthadd had began to climb the cave walls again, after drinking the iced tea. "Wait up! You might collapse again!"
But Anthadd would hear none of Sir's pleading.
It's got to be a bitch trying to climb vertical cave walls while carrying golf clubs.





Post #984, by SirMontyG

"That's the Anthadd I remember.." Sir tried to catch up, and eventualy did.

"Say what kind of club is that, anyways? Looks pretty devistating." Sir attempted to make conversation between battles and constant rock climbing.
It's generally accepted that a seven-iron is the optimal club for inflicting pain and death. I believe that's what Tiger Woods' ex-wife was wielding two years ago this very day. 
"Oh, and after we finish here with the melody, we could really use a hand fighting off Lavos, a coupala randites and a few evil versions of AC's. Gonna be one crazy shindig. Interested?"
I do believe he already said he's working on going home, which would suggest shindigs do not interest him. But hanging out with Major Asshole should interest him.




Post #985, by PikaChan

('S okay PSI, I didn't know. I thought the normal IF rules would apply to this IF as well.)
PikaChan's wrath is appeased by PSI322's supplication. PSI322 had super powers. PikaChan is dead wrong about the "normal IF rules", which made it very clear that the original post of a given IF thread would dictate how many ACs were allowed. (In most non-Tengu fics it was one.)

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