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04 December 2009

Posts #271-275: 17-18 April 2000

Post #271, by SirMontyG

Hey, Anthadd, good to have ya here. Anyone else coming?

I guess that's supposed to be IC (in character).



Post #272, by Chris

"Well, I think that you have enough people, so I'll stay here. Good luck on your quest, though!" Chris said.
It's really Chris's only viable play here. He can't go with Tengu, because

(1) He's an admin, dammit, and can't cede plotline leadership to a knave; and
(2) Hell will be overrun by glaciers before PSI322 will go with Tengu.
Once more (by this time Chris had become an expert in using the P.A. system), Chris made an announcement to change the schedule. Most things were being postponed until everyone reutrned from the trek to the inward island.
Postponed forever.

Much later in the story--we're talking once the post count is a four digit number--a bunch of characters would return to the hotel, which by then was long deserted. Aside from brief visits like that, I don't believe anyone is going to return from this trek to the inward island. And what's more, I have to think Chris knew that. He's just saving a little face.
However, if anyone who wasn't going wanted to do something, Chris would be out on the beach, trying to find something for everyone else to do.
For crap's sake, we don't need you to find us things to do. Thanks.

Chris had a real babysitter complex.
With that, he switched off the P.A. system and went to change into beach clothes.
Hot.



Post #273, by NessJeff

"Waitup!!!!!"
"What could you fight with?"
"I can use my smartness similarly to Jeff, but I can create my own weapons.
In the arena of logic... you fight unarmed.
I have a GunCon with a "Laser" I cobbled together from CD-R-O-M(Not stuff wesa noin talkin about) Drives."
Jar-Jar Binks actually was popular with many nine-year-olds, as NessJeff demonstrates here. And to all the curmudgeon Star Wars fans: Jar-Jar was not an iota less stupid than Chewbacca was. Sorry.
"How strong is it?"
" H. A. Pokey in 1 second."
"How come you didn't help fight the Krakens?"
"Dancing with Jenny and hosting tournaments."
"C'mon."
Meanwhile...
Dan's Theorem #4: When sentence fragments



Post #274, by guruzeth
Whoa. I had no idea I had done this. My real Gathering debut won't be coming for another 800 posts yet, but I guess like many other SM.Net celebrities, I felt the need to make a cameo, presumably during one of my computer-oriented classes at school (this was April of my senior year, so I had long since ceased pretending to care about class.) I was without a computer at home for most of the first half of 2000, which is why I won't be getting involved for a long time yet. Which is sad, because I'm going to be providing absolutely amazing unintentional comedy when I do.
...a teleportation portal opened up and guruzeth fell from the sky!
"Oof!" guruzeth landed, then rose and dusted himself off, and looked around. "Amazing..!" he marveled. "A real good IF story!" He got up and wandered around.
He was probably taking PSI322's word for it, or just assuming it was good based on the gargantuan post count.

I can't imagine I took the time to read the 273 preceding posts. Maybe I skimmed them. Maybe. But frankly, I don't even remember that. And double-frankly, I can't blame myself. They're a lot funnier now than they were then, when they were S.O.P. at the IF forum.
He stopped and checked his watch. "Hmmm, only a few more minutes until I get drawn back into the outerworld
i.e., until the bell rings to move you on to English class. Which is like the outerworld, whatever the hell an 'outerworld' is.
... better do what I came here to do." He grabbed his slightly-not-new @ and dialed up some buttons,
The @ is the denotation of a channel operator (i.e., god) on IRC. guruzeth was the Supreme-Dictator-For-Life of both #earthbound and the starmen.net forums at this time.

And yes, I realize I keep bouncing back and forth between third and first person; presumably you're aware, or have by now figured out, that guruzeth is one and the same person as this annotator. I'll recap this in 800 posts when he reappears, but I'll be treating guruzeth like any other Gathering writer in the annotations (third person), and generally will switch to first person when speaking from the present, as it were.

Still confused? T-O-O BAD!
and out of teleportation came his army of Crested Bookas, several thousand strong.

"Yes my children," cried guruzeth, "Now, for a totally unrelated plot twist, we're going to take over the Onett Burger Shop! Let's go!"
This was guruzeth's way of saying 'I'm just here to say hi, I'm not staying, you can ignore this.'
He paused. "But first, I must leave behind my @, so that all the wonderful IF posters can use my AC to take over the burger shop!"
Um... the hell? You're doing what with the what now? I'm sorry, I don't speak jibberish.

I guess he's declaring his intention never to return and licensing everyone else to kill off his AC as they please.
He set down his @ and then teleported out to Onett...




Post #275, by Gauntlet Wizard

"Alrighty," Siris said. "Enough Smash Bros. I'm going to see what everyone else is up to."

Siris began looking for a monster to fight.
After all, what else would you do in an IF? Like... roleplay or something?
All of a sudden, Siris spotted some sort of animal rushing into the Onett Burger Shop. A Crested Booka! Siris rushed in after it, stepping on something in the process. *Crunch!* Siris looked down. Some sort of mechanical device was on the ground, somewhat crunched. It had the appearance of an @.
"Hmm," Siris said to himself. "Guruzeth's @.
God, I hated it when people capitalized the g, with an obsession that could only be described as Tenguesque (such as when someone attached a male pronoun to Mani Mani or Roll Buster). I still do, honestly, but I have more of a 'what the hell' attitude these days.
Well, I'll, uh... replace it, or something." With that, he threw the @ into a nearby trash can.
He's pretty much summing up the popular opinion of guruzeth and his @. And you thought Chris was bad about flaunting his administratorship. He learned it from the master.
Siris ran into the Burger Shop. "Oh no!" he exclaimed. "The Bookas are destroying everything!" Siris set to work fighting the Bookas.
Thousands of them?

Sure, why not. Engage AC God Mode!
(Anyone want to help me beat 'em or try to hinder my progress?)
You expected me to make a snide remark about hindering his progress, right? Well, I'm not. I'd be more minded to help him. He's an engaging writer compared to the NessJeffs of the world.

3 comments:

  1. And now back to posting on recent posts... :P

    Yeah, I admit, when I went to go over your replies, I caught the recent posts first and I was pretty floored that you were actually guruzeth. I honestly had forgotten who "Baron von Awesome" was. I originally thought when I got referenced here that it might have been Radiation [he was the one who referenced me here].

    But yeah, for the rest of you who don't somehow know yet, this poster "DarkKnightPaladinMan" was in this IF, in the persona of... "Tengu Man/Makron" or "Tengu Maul" *shivers*, and appearantly later on "Roll Buster", who was just an alternate name of mine. I originally forgotten as I went over this the other day if my other account had already been busted and removed before I joined this IF, but alas, guruzeth's comments tell me it wasn't and 'she' appears much much later. More than likely, 'she's going to obsess over Poo or something [I recall that's 'her' MO or so, like mine was with Paula in those days. :P]

    Yep, I am the one who must not be named [a joke and self-depricating humor, I'll be using it a good deal over time]. I guess I was a truly infamous figure in the day. I've mellowed up substantially from my older personas though. I HOPE. Honestly I do think I am, but that's just my opinion. >_>;

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  2. Actually, you were Tengu Man/Makron AND Tengu Maul. You switched screen names mid-thread. Maybe it had to do with the AMAZING REVEAL OF THE MYSTERIOUS REFEREE?

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  3. LOL. Again, my memory is not what it once was for those events. Forgive me lack of them as we progress into this IF further. I'm sure there's going to be a ton of crap I've forgotten and yet some I do remember. D:

    Also, just a small footnote: the "Makron" subname was based on the Quake 2 boss of the same name, which I liked a lot back then. A lot of my names were based on the names of villains, kinda fitting for the stuff I did. :P

    ReplyDelete

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