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08 December 2009

Posts #291-295: 18 April 2000

Post #291, by Earth Bound Ranger

Mark was somewhere between a rock and a hard place. He found out that he was in saturn valley, a very cool place, but not one he wanted to stay forever at. The Mr. Saturns were starting to freak Mark out. However, there was another prediciment, climbing the waterfall again was almost insured suicide piled on top of the fact that Mark could only go one way, Threed.
OK, that sentence bends my brain. Ouch ouch ouch. Predicament. Colon, not comma. Assured, not insured. (Although the idea of insured suicide is cool. I need to start up an insurance company and start selling suicide insurance. The rates for people like 3164 will be sky high.) ', which meant that', not 'piled on top of the fact that'.
So, picking up his sword again, Mark picked himself up (painfully) and started the long walk to Threed, hoping that there was no such thing as belch and ghosts...
Not since Ness kicked their faces in, no.



Post #292, by loid

meanwhile on the island....

at the amusment park, a huge steel thrill ride was being tested.
I dream of implementing Dave Barry's idea of a ride called 'The Fall of Death'. You would climb to the top of a 200-foot-high flight of stairs, stand out on a platform, and then a trapdoor would be opened beneath your feet and you would fall 200 feet down and splatter onto the sidewalk like a tomato. There would be a sign clearly posted at the bottom saying:

NOTICE: NO ONE IS PERMITTED TO RIDE THIS RIDE. THIS RIDE IS INVARIABLY FATAL. THANK YOU.

That would of course only make it more popular with teenage males, who would come from all over the continent and pay $10 each just to stand in line for it all day.
"Well the dummy survived ok, but we still dont know how a human brain will take it."
"Well we cant open this ride, and I'm not going on this deathtrap so..."
"Hey cool!" Kiyo said. "Finally a good ride!"
See what I mean? This would work, I'm telling you.
"Uh you cant go it... I mean you can ride."
Yes, I too might make an exception and let Kiyo ride The Fall of Death, actually.
"Woo hoo!"
He just got on when
"WTF WERE YOU THINKING? IT COULD SMASH HIS BRAIN!"
"Well, you said we need a human test dummy, we got one!"
The key word being... ah, hell, the joke is so obvious that I'm not even going to finish it.



Post #293, by Little Yoshi

(Mog, I'm searching for Winters)
Don't worry, Timmy boy. I already put Moggie in his place.

Also: GEE I WONDER HOW LONG IT WILL TAKE TIM TO FIND IT NOW THAT LUNA IS THERE. However, Luna knew (or should have known, if she'd been reading past posts) that Tim was on his way to Winters when she sent herself there. She may have been just taking advantage of that to forcibly move the story as far the hell away from the beach as possible.
Tim opened a com channel with the group.
"Hey guys?" Tim asked.
Mog picked up a radio."Yeah?"
"Has anyone found Winters yet?"
"Not that I know of...wait, where's Luna?"
Mog replied.
"I'll see if I can find her." Tim said.
Tch. Using OOC knowledge IC is extremely bad form and just annoying. Tim magically knows that Luna is in Winters, because Little Yoshi read it.

AC God Mode is accepted and all but expected in IF, but AC clairvoyance is not.
"Out" Tim said.
"Out,"Mog said.

Tim searched the coast with his scanners, until he found a major temperature drop.
This is not how it works. There is no such thing as a major temperature drop, or a part of the world surrounded by some bubble of power that keeps it much colder than everything around it. The temperature slowly and predictably drops as you move north (assuming you're north of the Equator).

But actually, if you think about the background here, Tim is kind of forced to fail science forever. PSI322, presumably not expecting the AC's to sceneshift into EarthBound World, put her party at a random tropical or subtropical island. Another poster (Mog?) later specified the island is at 0-by-0 degrees, meaning just off the western coast of Africa and dead on the Equator--i.e., one of the warmest climates on Earth. Then Tengu Man decided that this was actually the world of EarthBound, and now we have a problem. Winters (despite being, in EarthBound, near the North Pole and a long way from Eagleland) needs to be on this island (or chain of islands) somewhere relatively nearby. So Tim has to resort to supernatural powers to explain it. So he doesn't actually fail science forever.
"Looks like Winters is near by," Tim stated.
He docked his boat, got the Masamune, and set out looking for Winters.

After about an hour, he saw something in the blizzard.
Fun fact: Winters is only a quarter mile across in any direction. Jeff was hallucinating when it seemed much bigger to him.
"Luna?" Tim said.
He saw a figure battling what appeared to be a Lesser Mook. He drew nearer, and, sure enough, Luna had just defeated the Lesser Mook.
Does she look like she needs your help?
"Hey, Luna!" Tim exclaimed.
"Hey Tim," Luna replied.
"I heard you had disappeared, I think I can get you back to Onett, unless you want to stay here. If you want to stay, I need to look for Jeff, so, since I heard people are working in twos, wanna work together? That is, if you're staying." Tim asked.
(only for Luna to decide)
RUN LIKE HELL



Post #294, by loid

"Woah that was intense!" Kiyo said
"Uh great, so how many fingers am I holding up?"
"Three"
"Ok, now walk in a straight line, great. Now touch your nose..."
"Ok the ride is now officaly open! But what do we call it?"
Clearly it is not worthy of being called the Fall of Death.



Post #295, by Chris

Chris strolled up to the new huge steel thrill ride just as the debate on what to call it was starting up. Deciding that his experience in visiting theme parks and playing Roller Coaster Tycoon gave him sufficient authority, he promptly suggested his idea.
Good god, man, can't you let anyone do anything without trying to lord over it and citing your impressive qualifications?
"Let's call it "The Sky Runner's Final Flight."

Almost immediately, his idea was rejected, and, mumbling something about not trusting an expert, Chris left and went to another part of the theme park.
Hahahahaha! That was awesome. Chris is awesome. I'm telling you, he's going to win MVP of the Gathering hands down when all's said and done.
He happened upon a merry-go-round, and saw several people were riding it. While he waited for the riders to disembark, Chris sat down on a nearby bench and started thinking about what to do next.
A true badass like myself would jump the fence and hop onto a plastic pony while the merry-go-round was still operating. Chris is so anti-bold that doing that in an IF story on the internet didn't even cross his mind. It just wasn't how he rolled.

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