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12 December 2009

Posts #326-330: 19 April 2000

Post #326, by SuperSpeedy/Mankey Boy

Instead of helping Dan, he went back to the resort he knew better then the rest of Eagleland. He went to the boardwalk and had Poryhedron play a game of throwing skill.
"It's easy when you can float and use your flat-bottomed feet, that are psychicly connected to your main bod, to throw!" admitted Poryhedron. "It's also easy with psychic powers, even if you're a normal-type pokémon!"
"A pokémon, eh?" said the carnie man who ran the stand. "A little yellow mouse pokémon spent $31 trying for a stuffed bowser. It was psychic, too!"
I'm impressed that SuperSpeedy either remembered 3164's post on this subject from a while back, or looked it up. I'm also highly surprised he hasn't flipped out at being told to go away.
"Pikachu!" said Dave and Poryhedron in unison.
"Look," said the carnie, "ya gonna play or not?"
Poryhedron fired a Tri Attack at the carnie.
"Concussion!" said the carnie, as he fell from a concussion.
Hey, some people think having their imaginary pokemon buddies attack random NPC's is fun.
~~~5 minutes later~~~
"That hurt, you computer thing!" said the carnie, as he got up. He just recovered from his concussion.
It takes a lot longer than that to recover from a concussion, as a long, long list of professional football players can attest.

The story of Mike Webster, one of history's great offensive linemen, is a very sad one. After his professional career ended in 1990, his life slowly and very painfully descended into hell because of memory loss, general stupidity and such assorted mental problems caused by the serious brain damage playing football had given him. (Linemen, in football, collide violently with each other, headfirst, on every single play, times about 50-60 plays per game, times 10-12 games a year (in high school or college) or 16-18 games a year (in the NFL). By the time the 2000s rolled around, he was homeless.

In the late 1990s a doctor took an MRI of his brain, looked at it, was stunned, and asked him, "were you in a car wreck?"

"I was in 20,000 car wrecks," Webster quite correctly told him.

Concussions are serious business.
Just then, Poryhedron threw the ball into the hoop.
"We have a winner!" said the carnie. "Whaddya want?"
"A giant stuffed Bowser," said Poryhedron, "for a friend."
  • Just as the carnie grabbed the giant stuffed bowser, Poryhedron made it disappear. It reappeared in Pikachu's location, with a note on it reading:
quote:
To Pikachu.
From your friend,
Poryhedron
Awwww! Instead of flipping out, SuperSpeedy is trying to win 3164's heart with the power of friendship! That's so cuuuuute! ^_^*
*Now that I have used that emoticon, an agreement I made in 2002 stipulates I now must shoot myself in the face. brb.
Poryhedron played again, won, and let Dave choose the price.
"A giant stuffed Wario, please!" said David.
  • Dave got a Giant Stuffed Wario!
  • Dave and Poryhedron continue the stroll to their hotel.



Post #327, by Luna

luna took one look at the huge Jellyfish and screamed in her head, but kept her mouth shut.
"I think I can take this guy on." Luna mumbled, pulling out a multibottle rocket and filling it with her special anti-jellyfish powder.
Not to put too fine a point on it, and this whole jellyfish battle thing is fun and all, but jellyfish are among the stupidest, least competent critters on God's good earth. Whether they can be reasonably described as 'conscious' is debatable. They pretty much float around, paralyze and consume whatever's stupid enough to swim into their tentacles (as, to fish, they're invisible). Even if a jellyfish, even a giant jellyfish, could identify a human and then decide it wants to kill it--which it cannot--it would, alas, have no capacity to move at any kind of speed whatsoever.

So kill the jellyfish just because it deserves to die if you like--that's my policy with spiders, which are physical manifestations of ancient demons--but the easiest thing to do is just swim around it. You can pass 15 feet to either side of it and it won't notice, and even if it did notice it would be completely unable to attack you.
She lit the bottle rocket's fuse and pulled out her Gaia beam.
"I hope you brought some jam..." Luna yelled at the jellyfish while firing 5 shots at it from the Gaia beam "...because you're going to be TOAST!"
Mmm... jellyfish jam.
Just then, the multibottle rocket launched at the jellyfish, hitting it square in the head.
...the head? I guess that's what Luna calls the part that isn't the tentacles.
The jellyfish obtained mortal damage, and shrunk to the size of a teacup.
'Obtained' mortal damage? That makes it sound like it had been searching all over for mortal damage. Maybe it was an emo jellyfish. The Pikachu3164 of jellyfish, if you will.
"Woah, that stuff is stronger than I thought.." Luna mumbled, looking down at the Dead jellyfish while Tim just blinked at her.
Luna, why exactly did you capitalize 'dead'?
"So... do we continue, or what?" Tim asked.
"We continue!" Luna grinned, scooping the dead jellyfish into a plastic baggy and shoving it into her backpack.
See, she didn't capitalize dead this time. I'm scratching my head here. And no, I don't know and don't want to know, thank you, why she's collecting dead jellyfish.



Post #328, by Little Yoshi

Tim(now knowing what Luna's weapon was, so I won't always say bashing) shouted"Hey, Tessie! We need some crossing help, please!"
Damn skippy. Luna's a Shooter, not a Basher. Good catch by Tim, who you can tell is paying very close attention to what Luna's saying. Now we can root for both of the brothers to obtain the girl of their dreams. (+1 to Baron von Awesome for proper use of 'obtain'.)
Tessied appeared,
Tessied? Must be a subspecies, like the Kralen.
and they both boarded it. Tessie gently ferried them over to northern Winters, and started submerging again.
"Bye Tessie!" Luna said.
"Bye Tessie!" Tim said
Wait, it went back to being Tessie? I'm confused.
[Bye, you two!] Tessie... um....mind-stated.
YOU CANNOT TALK TO TESSIE UNLESS YOU ARE A MONKEY

New meme for Annotated Gathering, guys: Tim is a monkey. Not sure how Luna feels about that.
"Whoa, psychic powers!" Tim exclaimed.
Yes, that you can tap into if you are a monkey.
Luna tapped him on the shoulder, but Tim was still waving to Tessie, and in an instant found himself knocked into the icy water by a karate chop from a Lesser Mook.
For f---'s sake, you idiot monkey, Lesser Mooks have f---ing tentacles! They don't have arms! You cannot karate chop with a tentacle! The best you can do is whip it! Whip it good! I can't stop using exclamation points!
"Take that!" Luna said, blasting it with the Gaia Beam.
She then helped Tim out of the water, and they journied on.
Journeyed.



Post #329, by PSI322

It felt like hours had passed by the time that Juliana and Chris finished their discussion by that solitary rock on the beach and parted ways for a little while.
I can't decide if she's saying 'it felt like hours', like, she enjoyed Chris's company so much she stuck around for a long time, or 'it felt like hours' like, it was so excruciating it seemed to go on forever.

I'm willing to bet Chris will adopt the more pessimistic interpretation.
Juliana, who'd had minimal contact with anyone besides Chris for a while, or so it seemed,
Ha ha ha! It really sounds like 'Chris, could you please leave me alone?', doesn't it? But that makes little sense, as she kind of isolated herself to a part of the story inhabited only by Chris.
wondered where everyone else had gone. Eagleland Island, with the exception of its grand amusement park, seemed to be deserted. Was everyone off exploring or having new adventures, perhaps? Juliana didn't know, but she felt a certain thirst for adventure growing within her, compelling her to strike out on her own.
Yeah, it's definitely starting to sound like she'd like to shake free of Chris for a while. His last couple of posts got a little bit overbearing, as we discussed.
After returning to her hotel room to throw a few things into a knapsack and change into some comfortable clothes and sneakers, Juliana set out for the part of the island which appeared to be a wild frontier of sorts.
I hope she brought some of that, whatyacallit, food. And water.
So much uncharted terrain lay there, waiting before her, that it fueled Juliana's imagination to conjure up dreams of all the new and exciting adventures that she would find on her solo journey.
Like being murdered in unspeakably grisly fashion by a Big Pile of Puke.

If history has proven one thing over and over, it's that 'adventure' is a much better concept in theory than in practice. Thank goodness this is IF.
She figured that this time would allow her some time for soul-searching and self-reflection, not to mention a good opportunity to do some exploring and learn some new things about Eagleland Island. With a smile upon her lips, Juliana set off for the rough interior which waited just beyond the line of trees, wondering, wide-eyed, what kind of destiny she would meet.
Hopefully a destiny that doesn't involve Chris, amirite?

I'm actually not really sure she wants away from Chris so much--she must know that he can and in all probability will follow her anyway, and the fastest way away from him, or at least from being monopolized by him, is to join someone else's plotline--but more of a decision to quit brooding and go do something. So Chris can feel free to tag along; he just needs to lay off the pressure.



Post #330, by Anthadd

"If others are staying the whole summer," Anthadd asked himself, "then why shouldn't I?"
Because there are differential equations begging to be solved. They're calling your name! Are you going to disappoint them?
It wasn't even August, so he had plenty of time to work his way home.
Why don't you just use your Ditel to get home? (The Ditel was Anthadd's gizmo for teleporting anything he wanted into his fingertips on command. Every AC has one, of course, but only Anthadd gave it a cool name.)
The sun was rising, and he squinted.
"Mayhaps I should venture into the inner heart of the island." The thought of this was frightening, yet exciting at the same time.
After filling up a water bottle with the cool, pure Grapefruit Falls water,
I guess somebody cleaned it up after the Master Belch Gang got evicted. I don't think anybody during the EarthBound era would have described that water as 'pure'. Pure like the Philadelphia municipal water supply.
he picked up his backpack and disappeared into the forest.

1 comment:

  1. OMG. The Ditel. I don't remember many mentions of it in the earlier IFs, but still, seeing it brings back memories anyways. :,)

    ReplyDelete

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