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13 June 2011

Posts #751-755: 1 May 2000

Post #751, by TsuramiSea
By the way, the rate of posting has once again exploded--after a couple days of ten or fewer posts a day, suddenly we're getting 4-5 posts an hour. I haven't checked, but I would guess 1 May was a Friday or Saturday.
TsuramiSea walked around the coast, wanting to see the perimeter before going to the outside party area. He noticed another figure squatting on the beach, but it wasn't Chris. He went up to the person.

The person grinned widely at seeing TsuramiSea. "BABY-EATER!" he screamed.

TsuramiSea looked surprised for the third or so time that day. "Um, hello..." he said. The other person just stared into his face with his silly grin. "Who are you?" asked TsuramiSea.

"pogopunkBABY-EATER!" shouted the person. TsuramiSea, deciding that this person just like to say baby-eater a lot, detached it, and arrived at "pogopunk". TsuramiSea knew pogopunk from #earthbound.

"Ah, hello. I'm TsuramiSea. What are you doing out here?"

"BABY-EATER!"

TsuramiSea decided that this conversation wouldn't get far. "Ummmm..... I'm exploring the party area. Maybe you could come with me and tell me about it?"
Then why are you continuing this conversation?
pogopunk nodded excitedly and jumped behind Tsurami. Of course Tsurami didn't know that pogopunk would do anything anyone asked him. The two walked to the party area, and they looked around, pogopunk shouting "baby-eater" the whole time. TsuramiSea found this a little disturbing, but although an odd one, he was glad to have a companion.
Man, you must be really desperate for companionship.
TsuramiSea came upon the 16-player N64.
My God! He read the early posts! There's no way he read the middle posts though, the last 300 of them or so. 
"OH MY GOSH!" he shouted. "This freakish N64 has 16 controller ports!!! I wonder what games are around?!" He checked the table. "Super Smash Brothers? I'll play that." He popped it in, and connected all 16 controllers, just in case. It was pretty, for there was a controller of every color - grey, blue, red, black, yellow, green, clear purple, clear ice blue, clear jungle green, clear orange, clear watermelon, and gold, plus extras of four of them.
Black is the only winning option, in case you were curious.
The game started up, and Tsurami went to multiplayer mode. Everything was unlocked. After setting the items to very high and the stock lives to 99, Tsurami went to the character select screen.

"16 PLAYER MULTIPLAYER?!" TsuramiSea went insane, selecting 15 computer players. But then he had an idea. "pogopunk! How about a Smash Brothers match?"

"BABY-EATER!" pogopunk claimed the second controller. TsuramiSea picked Kirby.
Picking Kirby is a sure sign of someone who takes winning a little too seriously.
"Do you have a favorite character?" he asked his friend.

"BABY-EATER!" was the reply.
I guess that would also be Kirby, right? Kirby eats everything.
Tsurami sighed. It was no use continuing that conversation. "All right, then, you just be Fox - he's cool."

pogopunk selected Fox. TsuramiSea decided to play Team Battle. Then, he noticed the other special multiplayer feature. "Whoa! Besides 16 player capability, in Team Battle there's not just Red, Blue, and Green teams, but also Yellow, Purple, and Orange! Cool!" TsuramiSea put himself and pogopunk on Orange team, and dividing the 14 other players as evenly as possible into the five other teams, got two players on the Yellow team, and three players on all the other teams. He set all the computer intelligence to 5.
That's pretty pathetic. Computer players on level 9 are still disappointingly easy to roast. 
Then, he selected the random course. "Awww, Zebes again? The computer always selects Zebes."
Man, that is the gospel truth right there.
The match began, and there was much smashing and exploding bombs. "Good thing level five computer is too stupid to dodge or stay away from bombs and mines," remarked Tsurami to pogopunk.
So is the level 9 computer, for that matter.
"BABY-EATER!" cried pogopunk. The two played the 16 player, 6 team, 99 stock live battle into the hour.....
As opposed to the 16 player, 6 team, 99 stock tape-delayed battle?




Post #752, by EBPoo

After landing in Onett and making his way through the Giant Step caves, Poo came face-to-face with Titanic Ant himself. "So, mortal, you wish to challenge me?"

"Sure, let's go, Insecto," replies Poo casually like he goes up against giant ants all the time. "Black Antoids, go!" Titanic Ant commanded. Two Black Antoids ran over and began attacking Poo.
In point of fact the Black Antoids that guard Titanic Ant in EarthBound are special Black Antoids that never attack you. The only thing they know how to do is cast Lifeup, and when they run out of PP they continue feebly trying to cast Lifeup until they die.
Poo sprayed a cloud of Insecticide Spray on them and they both fell over, dead. "All right, Red Antoids, go!" Titanic Ant ordered. Two Red Antoids rushed out and began casting PSI Fire spells against Poo.
Which Red Antoids don't do. They do have a very nasty biting attack, though.
"PK Freeze!" Poo shouted as Freeze crystals blasted out and froze the two helpless creatures. "GRRR...Gigantic Ants, go!" Titanic Ant yelled. Two Gigantic Ants jumped out. One of them knocked Poo into a wall and the other stung him with its stinger.

"PSI Starstorm!" Poo yelled as a shower of stars bombarded the two Ants and knocked them off into the chasm below.
This is getting to be too much like a Liyoshi post for comfort. C'mon, Poo, don't let me down!
"Well, well, well, well, well...looks like I'll have to take you on myself, Poo," Titanic Ant said. Poo drew his sword as Titanic Ant drew his Light saber.
I love the randomness of Titanic Ant wielding a lightsaber.
With one quick slice, Titanic Ant cut Poo's sword in half. "M--my--my sword! Noooooooooo! My...master...gave me...that sword for my excellent training in the art of Mu. He...he had to defeat 128 Starmen before he got it...and you...you just sliced it in half," Poo said with rage in his eyes. "Uh...uh...maybe I could glue it back together with Super Glue," Titanic Ant tried to compromise.
Wait, wasn't Titanic Ant already trying to kill Poo? Why doesn't he just cut his head off?
"Glue? GLUE???" Poo yelled before releasing a shower of giant stars on the Ant. Titanic Ant collapsed, but was not defeated yet. Poo quickly grabbed the Light saber, sliced Titanic Ant in half, and threw the saber down the chasm.
I'd think he'd want to keep it, since he lost his sword in all. Also: what chasm?
He used his PSI powers to bond the sword back together and then Poo claimed the power of Giant Step. "Only a few more to go," Poo said to no one but himself.
He's basically doing the same thing Liyoshi's doing, only he's a lot better at it.




Post #753, by StarmanDx

Chris woke up when he heard a noise in the cave. "What was that?!?!" He quickly woke up a now-annoyed Nall and quickly rushed in the cave, when he heard something up ahead...

This next part is indented because that's how it was in the original post; StarmanDx, showing spectacularly bad IF form, quoted EBPoo's entire post.
Originally posted by EBPoo:
After landing in Onett and making his way through the Giant Step caves, Poo came face-to-face with Titanic Ant himself. "So, mortal, you wish to challenge me?"

"Sure, let's go, Insecto," replies Poo casually like he goes up against giant ants all the time. "Black Antoids, go!" Titanic Ant commanded. Two Black Antoids ran over and began attacking Poo. Poo sprayed a cloud of Insecticide Spray on them and they both fell over, dead. "All right, Red Antoids, go!" Titanic Ant ordered. Two Red Antoids rushed out and began casting PSI Fire spells against Poo. "PK Freeze!" Poo shouted as Freeze crystals blasted out and froze the two helpless creatures. "GRRR...Gigantic Ants, go!" Titanic Ant yelled. Two Gigantic Ants jumped out. One of them knocked Poo into a wall and the other stung him with its stinger.

"PSI Starstorm!" Poo yelled as a shower of stars bombarded the two Ants and knocked them off into the chasm below. "Well, well, well, well, well...looks like I'll have to take you on myself, Poo," Titanic Ant said. Poo drew his sword as Titanic Ant drew his Light saber. With one quick slice, Titanic Ant cut Poo's sword in half. "M--my--my sword! Noooooooooo! My...master...gave me...that sword for my excellent training in the art of Mu. He...he had to defeat 128 Starmen before he got it...and you...you just sliced it in half," Poo said with rage in his eyes. "Uh...uh...maybe I could glue it back together with Super Glue," Titanic Ant tried to compromise.

"Glue? GLUE???" Poo yelled before releasing a shower of giant stars on the Ant. Titanic Ant collapsed, but was not defeated yet. Poo quickly grabbed the Light saber, sliced Titanic Ant in half, and threw the saber down the chasm. He used his PSI powers to bond the sword back together and then Poo claimed the power of Giant Step. "Only a few more to go," Poo said to no one but himself.

Chris ran forward, with Nall hanging on tight to his shoulder. They then ran into Poo where they should've seen Titanic Ant. "Poo? What's going on?! I was heading here to collect the Giant Step melody, when a noise woke me up. What happened?"
It would be awesome if now Poo was the Sanctuary guardian. You want a melody? Come get it!
"Simple," Poo responded. "I encountered, fought, and beat Titanic Ant. Then collected the Giant Step melody."

"Chris... you still don't have ANY melodies!" Nall griped.

"I know... I KNOW!!" Chris complained. "I was asleep and didn't notice what was going on. Say... want to join up, Poo?"
He might let him follow him around, but join up? I doubt it.




Post #754, by Dr. Andonuts

(wow! i didn't know i put all that stuff on 16-player SSB)
(how do you do those dot things?)
He means bulleted lists. I hope to God he never figures out how to do them.
Nathan kneeled down in a prayer position.
Tim's prayer was answered by N-TH--.
-A-HA- felt Tim's danger and prayed for his safety.
My God, why are they doing this? Why??
Finished with that, Nathan continued on his quest for the piece of the sound stone that was lost in teleportation to Tim, knowing that if he did not find this piece, they would never defeat Lavos.
You're probably never going to defeat Lavos anyway. It amazes me that people didn't just find something better to do, rather than submit their plotlines to Falcon24's whims.
He had one clue, the time-space cords of where the piece was teleported to.
'Cords' is not, far as I'm aware, shorthand for 'coordinates'.
He thought, "Uh-oh, this piece went into the past. I wonder where I will end up." He put the cords into his teleportation program and pressed enter. He appeared in 199X, 100 feet above Threed on Eagleland Island. He quickly ran a program to temoraly make the air solid beneath him.
Sigh. No wonder him and Liyoshi are buddies.
To his surprise, the entire island was dark. There were no lights anywhere. He wondered what had happened. "Maybe the time line of Earthbound got changed because a piece of sound stone fell to Eagleland?" he wondered. He knew that if this had happened, it was up to him to put the timeline back on track.
I have no clue what any of that means. It probably means Dr. Andonuts is about to embark on a bizarre new plotline.




Post #755, by Luna

After talking for a while, it was agreed that Luna, Waffle, and Mog would go to the Firesprings.
"Actually, if you guys don't mind, I'll stay here." Mog said.
"You wanna stay here? Why?" Waffle asked
"To get some rest, then continue on. Maybe we'll meet up again!"
"That's cool. We'll seeya later!" Luna yelled at Mog as she and Waffle teleported off towards te firesprings.
Wow. She ditched the s--- out of Mog the first instant she could. Again, that's really awful IF form; you don't just write somebody's AC out of your plotline because you don't like them. You ignore them until they take a hint.
This should be a big ego boost for waffy, though: Luna just ditched Mog so she could run around alone with him! That is legitimately exciting.
They landed with a huge bump, and started looking around.
"This place is MONDO huge." Luna gasped, very shocked. She was expecting it not to be half this big... Earthbound the game made it look so... so... SMALL.
That would be the point of giving your characters super-small sprites. It was to convey the notion that the Lost Underworld is huge while conserving resources.
"It's huge!" Waffle mumbled, looking at the place "Yet I still feel like I'm trapped in a box."
"Oh let's just go."
Suddenly, Luna tripped over somthing, and fell flat on her face.
"Oh the paaaaain... what did I trip over!?" Luna whined
"This!" Waffle answered, holding up a beautiful sparkling pendant.
"It's a sea pendant! Awsome! But you can have it. I still have this star pendant I grabbed from those crazy blue guys."
Luna also liked to conserve E's by taking them out of 'awesome'. Why that Sea Pendant makes any difference, I don't know.
"Okay... Now can we go?"
"I hope so."
So Waffle and Luna continued towards the firesprings, hoping that they wouldn't encounter anything overly dangerous.
Like another AC.

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