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17 June 2011

Posts #771-775: 3 May 2000

Post #771, by Little Yoshi

"Stupid Ninja!" Mani Mani said.
"This is a one-on-one duel! You can't interfere!
But what's been done has been done, therefore, I'll use Lifeup Gamma on Mani Mani, and you go away," The Apple of Enlightment said.
I'm sorry guys, but I'm out of new ways to point out how phenomenally stupid everything in these posts is.
"Grrrrr..."Dhsu said, but abided by the rules.
"I'm not very sorry, Mit!"
"That's nothing near okay,"
"Starstorm Omega!"
(Pikachu made Tim start to realize something that seemed vaguely familiar)
"Psychic Shield!" Mani Mani said, but was a little late.
"Freeze Omicron, special Yoshi level!"
The Psychic Power shield deflected the attack!
Tim's HP are Maxed out!
The Psychic Power shield disappeared!
Mani Mani's Sanctuary shield started to rebuild! Mani Mani could not be hurt by Lilliput Steps attacks!
"Well, sorry, Mani Mani, but Lilliput Steps doesn't have much Offensive!" Tim shouted, attacking with Earth Slide.
"FOOL! My sanctuary shield will be up again before you kill me!"
Tim drank some water.
Mani mani used Psychic Shield Beta!
"Hydro Sash!" The physical part couldn't be blocked, and the water shot back at Tim was absorbed, since Tim naturaly absorbs Water and Ice.
Hydro Sash attempts to choke Mani-Mani with an enormous sash, of course.
Mani Mani's Sanctuary Shield gained power to protect from Fire Springs!
I'm glad he's having fun, anyway.



Post #772, by EBPoo

Lumine Hall was simple to get through, with only Fobbys to deal with.
All the Hyper Spinning Robos, Uncontrollable Spheres and those godless bastard Conducting Spirits are still dead, but Fobbies aren't? How's that work?
"PK Fire!" yelled Poo as a wave of fire burst out and roasted a line of Fobbys. "PK Freeze!" yelled Poo again as Poo freeze crystals blasted out and froze a group of Fobbys.
Great. Toilet humor.
With the low guard, reaching Electrospecter was easy.
Hopefully Electrospecter is more competent than Electro Specter was.
"I am the guardian of this sanctuary. To claim Lumine Hall, you must defeat me. Others have defeated me, but you will be in for a harder battle," Electrospecter said as he converted into a giant robot. It was about ten times the size of Poo. "Uh...I think I'm in trouble," Poo said to himself.
Yeah, you look it.



Post #773, by dhsu

Click here for music!
The long dead link connects to the Magicant music, to satisfy your curiosity. So I guess you can find that on Youtube and put it on if you want to capture the mood dhsu intended for this post.
"We are both in the same Moonside now," Dhsu said, "so you can talk normally, Tim. And I didn't mean to interfere...my purpose wasn't to attack the Statue, but merely to assist you. However, the Apple of Enlightenment has spoken; it must be obeyed. Take this, though...it is my brain food lunch. It is considered quite a delicacy from where I come from, but I have a feeling you need it more than I do. And here are some secret herbs, concocted by the finest pharmacologists in the East. They will aid you, also. Farewell now, my friend, until we meet again."
Pretty sure that will also count as interference. Guess we have no choice but to start the epic Liyoshi-Mani-Mani duel all over again!
And with another puff of neon-colored smoke, Dhsu had disappeared.

* * *

Chris and Juliana were trekking their way to the nearest Tendite village when a man seemingly appeared out of nowhere right beside them.

"Greetings," he said. "My name is Dhsu."
Goddammit, Chris, I have no doubt, said under his breath when he read this post.
A little nervous at the impromptu introduction, Christ extended his hand to meet Dhsu's and Juliana was about to do the same before letting out a loud scream.
ROFL. There's probably going to be some dispute over who gets to use Christ as his AC.
"Now, now, Juliana," Chris admonished, "he can't be that frightening."

"No," Juliana agreed shakily, "but that can!"

"That? What's that?"

"That!"

"That?"

"THAT!!!" Juliana shouted, franticly pointing to something behind them.

Chris and Dhsu quickly spun around, blinked, and turned back to Juliana.

"I don't see anything..."

Suddenly, they heard a deafening roar. Turning around again, Dhsu said, "I wasn't aware purple tree trunks could roar..." His eyes followed the trunk upwards, and he saw an enormous Chomposaur, its eyes gleaming with fury.
But why? Why is the Chomposaur so pissed off all of a sudden? I tell you, random encounters get such an unjustified bad rap.
"Ummm...I think we're in trouble." As the words left Dhsu's mouth, the Chomposaur roared again and knocked him to the ground, crushing him with its thick tail. As the great reptile lifted its tail again for another attack, Dhsu prayed and prepared to draw his last breath. The tail contacted his body with what should have been lethal force, but instead went right through. A little confused, and more than enraged, the Chomposaur tried to attack again, but its tail passed through Dhsu's body once more. It kept striking until Chris yelled, "Computer, freeze program 'Chomposaur A'!" The Chomposaur instantly froze in position, its tail just inches from Dhsu's body. Shocked, Juliana said, "I didn't know you could use PSI!"
Oh god, he's ripping off The Matrix.
"Neither did I," Chris smiled.

"Wh-what?" asked Juliana.

"That dinosaur is not real," Dhsu said flatly, "and neither is anything else you're seeing. It is all a computer simulation."

"Yes, I couldn't have anybody getting killed, so I had to turn on the safety protocols," Chris explained.
So wait. dhsu's theory is that he and Chris are the masterminds of this computer simulation and they've just been f---ing with Juliana's head? And everyone else's. Man, I can't wait to see how this one is received.
"So...so...Onett, Stonehenge, the Sanctuaries, Lavos, everything -- it's all fake?" Juliana said in disbelief.

"Well..." Chris said slowly, rubbing his neck. "Remember what I said about the improv play? I thought this would be the perfect way of doing it!"
LOL. I think I'm going to like this dhsu guy.
"The--the play? But Chris, it's a computer program, we have no choice over what's happening!"

"Wrong, Juliana. The simulation is run by your imagination, so it's exactly like I planned -- everyone interacting with each other in a huge play using the creativity of their minds, but without the limitations of props and costumes. You never know what will happen next, even though you partially determine the events that will arise, whether you know it or not. See how brilliant it is?"
If this simulation were run by Chris's imagination, then... yeah. I would encourage you not to finish that thought, especially if you happen to be PSI322.
"Well...so...then...where exactly are we then?"

"The Lost Underworld, of course," Chris said, smiling. "What does it matter? But you aren't gonna tell anyone, are you, Juliana?"

"Well...well...of course not, Chris!" she promised. "There's still a lot of fun to have and exploring to do, right? Let's keep going!"
dhsu's really on thin ice here with how much he's controlling what other ACs think, even not considering his bizarrely stupid "this is the Matrix" revelation. And he's doing it to the forum administrators! This kid had big brass ones.
"By my ancestors, not one word about this will escape my lips," Dhsu declared.

"Good. The show must go on!"

[This message has been edited by Dhsu (edited 05-04-2000).]





Post #774, by Falcon24

(Sorry guys, I've been really busy so I really don't know what's been going on. Anyways, I is back.)
I guess that's a preemptive apology in case he screws something up because he didn't read the past hundred posts. But given how little has happened in those posts, it really isn't likely.
He emerged from the undergrowth near ground zero. When he at last entered the clearing, Falcon saw the horrible site.
I guess he might really have meant "site" even though it looks like he meant "sight". I mean, a site can be horrible. 
Lavos was huge, dominating the skyline, and he seemed to be feeding off of the power from the earth. "And it's all my fault...."

In one motion he began to gather PSI energy, while charging towards the monstrosity.
PSI isn't fueled by mana. But I guess in this world it must be, since pretty much everyone is operating under that assumption. 
At last he reached it. He drove his hands hard into Lavos' shell, and let loose with a blast of PSI Freeze Omega. Slowly, the icy energy creeped across the shell, and Lavos had frozen over. Falcon quickly equipped a Gutsy Bat and SMAAAAASHED the shell hard.
Seems like everyone's got a Gutsy Bat or two handy. Apparently someone's mass producing them. That or Falcon24 also robbed the Happy Happy Drugstore.
The ice shattered. But the shell remained intact. "What!?!" Falcon did not know what to do. He desperately took out a multi bottle rocket and aimed it at Lavos. The rockets took off and screamed towards Lavos. Upon impact, a brilliant explosion lit up the sky. "That should do it!"

The smoke and dust cleared. Lavos remained. "No! How can this be..." The large eye of Lavos slowly opened. Falcon felt a wave of fear encompass him. An unearthly wail filled the air, and suddenly Lavos launched a spine needle attack. The deadly barbs exploded from the shell and rocketed towards Falcon. He was taken aback by the shock of the attack, and sailed across the clearing. His flight was stopped short by a tree.
OK, I'm counting now, and that's the twenty-third time so far in the Gathering an AC has been sent flying through the air by an attack. Seems this whole crew's seen a few too many Jean Claude Van Damme movies.
He fell to the ground, bruised and battered from this single attack, as Lavos prepared to launch yet another. "Impossible...it can't be killed..."
I guess now Falcon24's joined the "someone please help me" brigade? That's odd. He must be up to something.



Post #775, by Chris

(An interesting plot twist, Dhsu. Not bad.)
Wait. What? No it's not. It's the stupidest thing anyone has ever dreamed of. You know this. Why are you pretending it's "interesting"? Aren't you an administrator?
After the incident with the Chompasaur, Chris and Juliana bid farewell to Dhsu and contined exploring the Lost Underworld. They had been wandering for a few hours, when both of them began feeling tired.

"I just realized something, Juliana. There's no night or day here, we'll just have to sleep when we get tired. Let's see if we can find some shelter and get some sleep."
Where does all the light come from, if not the sun? Stadium lights affixed to the ceiling? That's got to be a hell of a power bill.
"Good idea, Chris. Let's get going."

Before very long, they had found themselves a small little cave on an outcropping that they could sleep on. They set up what little gear they had brought with them, and soon they were both sound asleep.

A deafening roar awoke both of them suddenly, and they found themselves face to face with another Chompasaur. Chris called for the Chompasaur program to end, but there was no effect. Indeed, when he tried to end the entire program, the computer didn't even bleep in response.

"What's going on Chris? I thought you said that this was just a computer program!" Juliana cried.
My guess is, Chris has decided, after paying lip service to dhsu's moronic "idea", he's now going to pretend it never happened.
"I don't know. The computer must have somehow caused all of this to become real, and so I can't shut it down."
As usual, my guess is spot on. What can I say? I've been reading nearly 800 posts of this stuff by now, I've got a pretty good sense of what's going on.
"We've got to do something. We don't have any weapons."

"Try your PSI power!"

Juliana began concentrating, trying to dredge up the burst of energy that had saved her before. While she attempted PSI, Chris began pelting the Chompasaur with various rocks that were in the cave. The Chompasaur was less than pleased, and swung his tail into Chris. Chris flew back against the cave wall, and an explosive pain filled his head.
That's twenty-four.
He could only see partially, but he could tell that the Chompasaur was about to do the same to Juliana.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! The Chomposaur's about to die. Hard. And the entire Chomposaur species will learn not to mess with Chris's woman.
The pain was starting to clear, and instead his body was being replaced with a tingling sensation. Chris feared that his body becoming paralyzed, and that he was doomed. Suddenly, the pain began to concentrate not within him, but somehow, in front of him. The pain began to tighten into a ball, and the ball began to glow. At that moment, words burst from his mouth, and the ball of energy was shooting forth.

"PSI Energy Alpha!" Chris suddenly exclaimed, and the energy sphere burst forth, crashing into the Chompasaur and knocking it back. At that same moment, Juliana cast PSI Comet Alpha, and the thousands of fireballs rained from the sky.
Chris really struggled with creativity. Even I can come up with something better than "PSI Energy", and that's saying something. On the D&D 3-18 scale, my Creativity score is about a 6. I mean, even here I'm not writing my own material, I'm just making snarky comments on stuff a bunch of kids wrote ten years ago. 6 might be generous.
When the smoke from the blast cleared, only a few piles of ash remained on the ground where the Chomposaur had been. The pain in Chris's body cleared, as did the tingling sensation. He found he could stand up, and spent several minutes staring in awe at what he had done. He had used his mind to influence the physical world. He had used PSI.
But not the way he wants to. Zing!

So apparently Chris is now officially immune to pain. Neat. Physical pain anyway; please go easy on his heart, PSI322 :(

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